'Sister Evangelina?' Shelagh asked walking into the kitchen where the nun stood, deep in thought about something that was obviously troubling her deeply.
'Yes Mrs Turner?'
'First off, please, call me Shelagh. I know it goes against the usual protocol but we've known each other for so long now…' The blonde trailed of, seeing the rapidly approaching steel in the Sister's eyes. 'Never mind, I was wondering if you'd mind if Timothy joined us for tea. I have some work I need to finish up and Dr Turner is on a late shift at the hospital.'
'Knock yourself out.' Sister Evangelina shrugged, turning back to the sink.
'Thank you. Sister-are you alright? There's quite obviously something on your mind.'
'I am perfectly fine young lady.' She snapped stalking off. Shelagh considered following after her but felt it would be best not to get killed before she could dine with Timothy.
'Look what I found.' Timothy Turner flew into Shelagh's temporary office, hands cupped together. Suddenly realising that his step-mother was not the only occupant of the room he halted so suddenly he nearly toppled over. Jumping from her seat to steady him Shelagh scolded him-
'Timothy! You know you shouldn't run so fast. You'll tire yourself out. And you should knock, as you can see I'm not alone right now.'
'Sorry Shelagh. Sorry Nurse Trixie.'
'Apology accepted young man. What's the excitement about then?' He uncapped his hands to reveal a butterfly. 'I found a live one!' He exclaimed happily. Shelagh inspected it and a grin spread across her face.
'A pieris brassicae!' He nodded enthusiastically. 'Why don't you go let it lose again? Let it enjoy the garden once more. I should be finished up with Nurse Trixie in about 5 minutes. You can come back and join me then if you're bored, knock on the door first though.'
'Okay. Bye Nurse Trixie.'
'Goodbye Timothy. I'll see you at dinner.' He raced back out of the door. Shelagh sighed and rolled her eyes at his exuberance.
'You did hear me tell him not to run quite so fast didn't you? That wasn't just in my head?' She asked Trixie who laughed.
'Ah the energy of youth. '
'Indeed. Now I can rearrange the rota so you have Thursday off, is that acceptable?' Shelagh asked returning to work.
25 MINUTES LATER
KNOCK KNOCK
'Come in, oh hello again Timothy. Bored already?' Shelagh smirked as he stalked into the room and flumped into the chair across from her.
'Not exactly. There was something I wanted to ask you.' He said nervously, shuffling around in his chair as if he could not get comfortable.
'What is it? Are you okay?' She walked around the desk to sit in the adjacent chair.
'It's nothing bad I promise! At least…I hope you don't think it's bad. I've been thinking-'
'Yes?' She grasped his hands and gently began stroking them with her thumb.
'And Dad agrees with me, said that so long as you're happy he's happy-'He trailed off once more, looking down at his shoes.
'Tim you're starting to scare me now. Whatever it is that's troubling you, you can talk to me. Okay? I can help you if you're having problems. Is it something to do with your legs?' She asked voice tinged with mild panic.
'woulditbeallrightwithyouificalledyoumumfromnowonshelagh?' He burst out in one breath.
'I'm sorry? I didn't quite understand what you said.' She said softly, not daring to believe what she thought she'd heard was what he had in fact said.
'Can I call you Mum?' He said slower, still looking at his shoes. Shelagh gasped, her mind reeling. She HAD heard correctly.
'You…you want to call me Mum?' She asked, eyes filling with tears at the thought. He looked up and balked.
'Sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry. Oh gosh I'm so sorry Shelagh. I didn't mean to insult you. Oh no please don't cry. I so so sorry Auntie Shelagh. Forget I ever said that. Are you angry?' He said panicking.
'I'm not crying because I'm sad or angry. I'm crying because I'm happy. So very happy. You really want to call me Mum?' She beamed. 'But what about your Mummy? I'm not trying to replace her.'
'Of course not. I still love Mummy, I always will but you're my Mum. Even before you and Dad got mushy eyed with each other you were like a mother to me. You cook for me, you clean up after me, you look after me when I'm ill, you look out for me, you help me when Dad can't, you help me with my homework and more importantly you love me and Dad. And we love you too.' Shelagh burst into tears.
'Oh I do Timothy. I love you both so much. I've been so blessed that you let me into your life. Of course I want you to call me Mum. You've taught me what love is, I don't need to be your biological mother to love you as if I was. You are, and always will be, my son and I love you.'
'I love you too Mum.' He grinned throwing himself into her arms.
'Oh my darling sweet boy how wonderful you are.' They stayed wrapped in each other's arms until Timothy's buttocks had gone numb. Slipping out to the bathroom Shelagh tidied herself up, although she had to reach the dizzying heights of Trixie level vanity, she had begun to take pride in her appearance since becoming Mrs Turner and thought that a bright red nose and puffy eyes would not be a good look for dining.
'And what have you been learning in school Timothy?' Cynthia asked.
'Nothing.' He grimaced.
'Timothy.' Shelagh frowned at him.
'Sorry. Nothing to write home about Nurse Cynthia.'
'That's not true Tim. What about your Egypt project?' Shelagh smiled encouragingly at him.
'Golly, Egypt. That sounds bally fun. I've always wanted to visit.' Grinning Timothy and Chummy struck up an animated discussion about the historical aspects of the country. Soon the pair was so engrossed in their discussion that food became a distant thought.
'Tim remember to eat as well as talk to Akela.'
'But you're always telling to not talk with food in my mouth Mum.' Timothy grinned. Everyone but Shelagh stopped and gaped at the pair. Had Timothy just called Shelagh Mum?
'Don't be cheeky.' She rolled her eyes affectionately; unable to scold the young boy who was so easy to love and who had so easily accepted her into his life to the extent he wanted her as his mother.
'Sorry. Can you pass the potatoes over please?'
'Here you go.'
'Thanks Mum.' The pair suddenly realised that the entire table were staring at them.
'Do I have food on my face?' Shelagh asked brushing a hand across her face.
'Timothy called you Mum.' Jenny pointed out. Shelagh beamed, maternal love washing over the table.
'Yes, he did, didn't he' She said proudly. Timothy flushed bright red as the nurses and Sister Winifred began cooing.
'How long has that been going on for?' Sister Evangelina asked, trying and failing to be nonchalant though it was clear to everyone that tears had pooled in her eyes.
'About an hour.' Timothy shrugged. 'I've wanted to for ages though.' He admitted shyly, glancing at Shelagh who grinned back at him.
'And Dr Turner is okay with this?' Sister Evangelina said cautiously. Timothy nodded.
'He knows I'll never forget or stop loving Mummy. I'm just lucky enough to have two Mothers to love.' He said, blushing again. It was all Shelagh could do not to hug her son once more but decided that Timothy wouldn't appreciate being pulled into her lap in front of so many people he respected. She settled for squeezing his hand under the table. General conversation slowly returned to the occupants of the table but both Turners could feel the near constant glances of one person or another.
As they began to clear away the table and start washing up Sister Evangelina pulled Shelagh aside into Sister Julienne's office where they would not be disturbed, Timothy happily chatting away to the nurses and Sister Winifred.
'Shelagh, I would like to apologise for my behaviour towards you the past week. I must admit I am still coming to terms with you leaving us, I cannot pretend to fully understand leaving the order for love but seeing you with Timothy I can see that you've made the right choice.'
'Thank you Sister. That means more than you can know. I'm sorry if my decision hurt you but I truly have never been happier, well, on the most part,' Shelagh said, tears suddenly pooling in her eyes.
'Hmm?' Shelagh considered the nun, behind the tough exterior lay a woman Shelagh knew deeply cared for her, someone who would always be there for her in hard times. Sister Evangelina just needed to know what the problem was. Taking a deep breath to calm, Shelagh began to speak.
'I uh... I thought I was pregnant about a month ago. I was not. I could just tell somehow that something was wrong, I had not had my cycle for many months and ever since entering the sanatorium they has been erratic so Patrick arranged for a specialist to see me. I had an operation on Harley Street. It turns out the TB wasn't just in my lungs. There is scar tissue throughout my pelvic region.' Shelagh's voice faltered, tears streaking down her face.
'Oh Shelagh.' Sister Evangelina's heart broke as the full ramifications of the diagnosis hit her. Just like Shelagh the previous month and Sister Julienne the previous week she did not need the ramifications to be explained to her, similarly cursed with an in depth medical knowledge of fertility and gynaecology.
'I am still coming to terms with the loss of a dream I didn't know I wanted so desperately,' Shelagh sobbed as Sister Evangelina pulled the tiny woman into her arms. She held the shaking woman close and stroked her hair in an act so tender it surprised the nun herself.
'I'm sorry Shelagh. We must trust to Him that he has a plan.'
'I know, but it's so hard. I can't help but think that He is punishing me. If I had never left the order I would never have known.'
'And you'd be miserable. I see that now, you are so much happier than you had become in your last year with us or even before then. You wouldn't have your husband or your son if you hadn't left.' The nun reminded her.
'But I wouldn't feel like there's a chasm inside me. I ache for a child Sister, even before I joined the Order I dreamt of having my own. I love Timothy as if he were my own flesh and blood, honestly I could not possibly love him more than I do but to feel my child growing inside of me, to raise them into a fine young man or woman, to see their first step, to hear them say their first word, even the sleepless nights and nappy changes, I want it so badly.'
'I cannot help you with the carrying of the child but have you thought about adoption? We see many babies put up for adoption, if you can love Timothy as your own then why not another? You would still get to experience all those things you yearn for. It would still be the child of you and Patrick, a child that came to you from your desire to have a child together.' Shelagh looked up for the first time, startled by the uncommon use of her husband's name from the usually formal and proper nun.
'I hadn't thought of that.' Shelagh admitted wiping tears from her face for the second time that day in that very room.
'I'm not saying you have to do anything right now but think about it at least. Talk to your husband about it. This could just be God directing you to the child he wants you to have.'
'You're right. I will think about it…..Thank you Sister.'
'You're welcome. Now let's go help with the tidying before we get accused of not pulling our weights.'
'Right, yes. Of course.' They turned to exit the room but, in a moment of impulsiveness, Shelagh grabbed Sister Evangelina's hands and pulled the nun in a fierce hug.
'Come now Shelagh, let us not get sentimental.' She harrumphed though they both felt the quick squeeze Shelagh received.
'Sorry.' Shelagh pulled away
'No problem my dear. If uh...if you won't to talk again...you...uh...know where I am.'
'Thank you.' Shelagh nodded and left to wash her face.
'Come on Timothy. It's time we were getting home.'
'Coming Mum.' They walked out into the dwindling sunlight. 'Are you alright? You looked like you'd been crying after you and Sister Evangelina disappeared.'
'I was telling her about my diagnosis. She helped me.'
'I'm glad. I wish I could help you.' He admitted going red in the face at such overt affection.
'You do help, just by being you. You bring such joy to my life. You do know that my desire for a baby doesn't mean I don't love you completely. That you are any less my son?'
'I know Mum.'
'Come on Son. Let's go make sure your father doesn't starve when he gets home.' Shelagh and Timothy walked off together, mother and son, ready to face whatever life threw at them as a family.
