Chapter One: Bunny Rab Rab?
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters.
AU:
This is what happens when I RP and get crazy ideas in my head. Bah. / I blame the RPing for this.
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The mall was always interesting; there were always odd things to be seen, no matter when you went. If it wasn't the fat lady sitting eating ice cream, then it was the anorexic 13 year olds strutting around like they were the hottest girls on the earth with their cheap purses. All of it made for an interesting trip to the mall, even if it was completely without a purpose. That was exactly the case for Tobi today. He had no idea why he was at the mall. It was something to do!
The male got all the usual odd looks as he walked through the doors of the mall. People always gave him weird looks because of the bright orange mask he always wore. In response, as always, he waved to them, and continued on his way. The waving always confused people! It was great. Continuing on his way, Tobi looked around the mall through the one little eye hole, trying to figure out what to do first. It wasn't like he had come here with a set mission to buy anything, after all. Though, he did have money!
There was a pet store on the first floor! Tobi almost squee'd in excitement over the idea of going to see all the cute little puppys and kittens for sale. If only he could have one. Pein would kill him if he got a dog. They were all such party poopers! With a sigh, the male quickly made his way over to the pet store and went inside.
Making his way around a few people, Tobi spotted the little clear cages that all the dogs, cats, and rabbits were in.
"Would you like to see that one?" A voice asked, pointing at a fluffy white rabbit that Tobi was looking at.
Tobi looked over to see one of the employees, and quickly nodded his head. "Yes, please! Tobi would like that!" He quickly answered, trying to hide his excitement as the lady pulled out the rabbit from its cage, handing it to Tobi.
"Aww..its sooo sofftt." The childish male spoke, as held the rabbit in his arms and petted it. The rabbit, surprisingly, remained quite calm in the hyper boys arms.
"Well, let me know if you want to adopt her, or let me know when you're done playing with her so I can put her back." The lady spoke, before going to help someone else, leaving the silly orange-masked kid with the pretty white rabbit.
"I wonder..nobody would know..and Tobi is a good boy! Tobi would take care of you.." Tobi pondered, speaking out loud to the rabbit in his arms. Weirdo.
At this point, a blonde male walked into the pet store, spotting Tobi and making his way over to him quickly.
"There you are, Tobi. What are you doing, un?" Deidara asked, looking at the white fuzzball in Tobi's arms.
Ew. Was that thing alive?
Tobi looked up from the rabbit, tilting his head at the male and blinked at him.
"Sempai was looking for Tobi?" He asked, speaking in third person, as usual. Suddenly he shoved the rabbit into Deidara's face, grinning from beneath his mask. "Look, Sempai! Isn't she cute?! She's so soft! Pet her!"
Deidara lifted an eyebrow at the rabbit, slowly reaching out to pet it on the top of its head. A small smile briefly appeared on his lips, but it was gone in a flash. One thing that you don't do is encourage Tobi. That was a rule among the Akatsuki.
"If by cute you mean it looks like a deformed cat, then sure, Tobi. Now give it back to the lady, un. Pein won't let you have a pet, you know that." The blonde answered, frowning at Tobi and pointing at the employee.
"But Sempai..she needs a home.." Tobi whined, petting the cute white rabbit in his arms.
"No, Tobi. Put her back, un."
"Please?"
"Tobi!"
"Sempai!"
"If you even got her, where do you think you are going to put her? Pein would know!"
"Tobi thinks that Pein would like her. So would Ko-Ko-Chan!"
"Zetsu would eat her, un!"
"Tobi shall protect her! She can sleep with Tobi!"
"That's gross, un."
"Tobi thinks its gross that you sleep with Sasori."
At this point, Deidara reached over and smacked Tobi upside the head harshly.
"Owwwww, Semppaiii! I'll tell on youuu. I'll tell everyone you sleep with Sasori, and that you cry out his name at weird hours of the night!"
Tobi suddenly found himself in a headlock, right in the middle of the pet store, with a very annoyed Deidara hissing threats into his ear. "If you say one more word, I'll blow up that rabbit, and you, and the rest of all these cute fuzzy animals in here."
"Sempai said they were cute!"
Shit. It had slipped, and now he was definitely going to regret letting it slip, too.
"N-no, I didn't, un!"
"Sempai thinks the rabbit is cuuuteee."
"Tobi, shut up, un!"
"Tobi thinks Sempai wants the rabbiiittt."
Deidara released Tobi from the headlock, glaring at the other male. "Do not." Okay, so secretly, he really did think the rabbit was cute. Who couldn't? But being an evil guy, he couldn't openly just admit to that! Especially in public!
"Tobi will tell everyone if Sempai doesn't buy him the rabbit."
Oh. Crap. Was Tobi really threatening him? Not only was that surprising, but he had Deidara right in his palm. Deidara would rather get the rabbit and watch Tobi get yelled at then go back and watch Tobi tell everyone about him and Sasori's secret relationship they had going on. Watching Tobi get yelled at was far more entertaining.
"Fine, un. Let's get the rabbit. But if Pein or anyone asks, this was YOUR idea."
"YAY SEMPAI WANTS THE RABBIT!"
Deidara grumbled, dragging the masked boy towards the counter, picking up rabbit food and everything else along the way. Stupid Tobi. Deidara couldn't wait to see how pissed Pein got as soon as Tobi walked in the hideout with the rabbit. Oh, it would be absolutely priceless. A grin tugged on the bombers lips as he imagined it all. He could already hear Pein screaming and Tobi crying after Zetsu ate the fluff ball.
"Does Sempai have any ideas for a name?"
"Ugly fuzzball, un."
"No, Sempai! A real name!"
"Ask Pein or someone to help you when we get back, un. Stop bugging me."
"Tobi thinks that's a great idea!"
"Okay, lets get back to the house then, un."
Thus, Deidara and Tobi and the new rabbit they just adopted all set off back to the house to the unsuspecting Akatsuki members.