Horcrux Ducky
A/N Set during final battle, 7th book. Harry is supposedly dead. Random thing that we reckon would make the best final horcrux. Remember, really, really random. Ron and Hermione trying figure out what the horcrux is. Lol
"Okay, we only have a few minutes until Voldemort finds us. What things did you get that could be his final horcrux?" Hermione asked Ron and the rest of the DA in an anxious voice. "Well, there's his snake, but we can't get it, the Black Family Tree, the Sorting Hat, that time thing from the ministry, and his rubber ducky." Ron told her. "Ron?"
"Yes?"
"Why the rubber duck?"
"I thought it was cute." Ron told her in a high pitched voice. Hermione rolled her eyes.
They only had time to destroy one of them. All seemed lost. They couldn't tell which one was the horcrux, except that it was most definitely not the rubber ducky. They could hear the death eaters coming closer. Suddenly, the ghost of Dumbledore appeared next to the pile of stuff and started singing, "Rubber ducky, you're the one, destroy it and Voldemort's done"
"What?" Ron said, confused.
"Destroy the rubber duck!"
"But it's cute...." Ron whined.
"Oh for heavens sake" Hermione said. She walked over, lifted her foot, and squished the rubber duck. There was a loud screaming noise and when she lifted her foot back up all that was left was a melted pile of rubber. Ron started crying. "Well, we can see who wears the pants in this relationship." Dumbledore said. Hermione glared at him. "What? I was just stating a fact."
Suddenly Harry appeared and said, "Fear not, for I have returned to destroy the last horcrux and save the day. Now, what is it?" Hermione glared at him and pointed at the melted pile of yellow rubber that was all that remained of the last horcrux. "We have to destroy that pile of melted rubber? But it's already destroyed!" He said. Ron suddenly let out a great big sniff, and wailed, "R-r-rubber d-d-ducky!" Harry looked quizzically at the others. Neville took pity on him and said, "Hermione already destroyed it. It was Voldemort's rubber ducky." Harry burst out laughing and said,
"Voldemort had a rubber ducky?" He said this just as the Death Eaters rounded the corner. When they heard this, they all burst out in laughter too.
For some reason, none of the present had noticed that Dumbledore had come back as a ghost, and not left. Harry, Hermione and the sobbing Ron, walked off into the sunrise. Suddenly, the whole DA, Dumbledore's ghost and the Death Eaters called out, "Hey Harry, don't you still need to fight Voldemort?"
"Bugger." Came the reply.
Yeah, I know. Really weird. My friend and I thought of this while we were at a sport carnival. Just after drinking a litre of 'juice'. (35% fruit juice). So you can go ahead and tell me if it sucks. And yes, this is a one-shot. Please review.