Title: Tourniquet
Author: Anna (SlayrGrl55)
Rating: PG-13 for language
Feedback: is much appreciated
Disclaimer: I don't own Faith or 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' I'm just borrowing them for a little while…
Summary: Faith is 16 years old and her mother has just died. She's been called as slayer and her world is torn apart. Can a new friend help her put it back together? (This will be the story of Faith's life before Sunnydale. I'm going to try to keep her as in character as possible, but I'm also going to try to explain why she is the way she is.)
Chapter 1: The Here & Now
She sits quietly at the edge of the large body of water, watching the moonlight as it plays across calm surface. There is no wind tonight. No rain, no thunder. Nothing that speaks of turmoil or anger. She thinks, fleetingly, that there should be. There should be some kind of storm to reflect what goes on inside her tired head.
She gathers some small rocks in her hand and slowly begins to toss them into the water. She tries unsuccessfully to make them skip across the surface but they simply refuse. It figures, she thinks, it's not like anything has gone my way so far. Why should my luck change now? When the rocks are gone she stands and absently wipes the dirt from her jeans. Tossing her hair behind her shoulder she turns and heads towards the path that winds through a patch of trees. The canopy of green obstructs the light from the moon and it is hard to see the ground she walks on. But she has walked this path countless times and knows it by heart.
The dirt beneath her feet turns to solid rock and she emerges from the darkness of the trees. Ahead of her is a small rock cliff, about 40 feet above the surface of the lake. Taking measured steps she approaches the end and carefully sits down, letting her legs hang off the side. She breathes deeply, as if trying to inhale the calm.
Her eyes close and she imagines a time when things were easier. She smiles as she remembers the warm sunlight on her skin and the eyes of all her peers on her as she approaches the same place she sits now. From the shore of the lake they silently watch, crossing their fingers and holding their breath. She looks down, only for a second, and then her head is held high again. Taking a deep breath, she says a quick prayer and leaps off the edge of the steep cliff. For the children at the shore, time stops and she seems to slow down in mid-jump, her long dark hair flying wildly. But time resumes and she hits the water, causing a splash. Time stops, again, as they wait for her to resurface. Seconds tick by, and finally the brunette appears. She takes a gulp of air and moves her hair out of her face. As she looks to the shore, the children jump and cheer. She has successfully jumped from the highest rock in the area, an accomplishment that not even the older kids have been able to call their own. Swimming back to shore, she smiles. She feels excited, proud, and most of all she feels accepted. But by the time she reaches the shore the excitement has died down and the cruel children have gone back to their indifference. The only attention she will get now is the occasional jealous glance. "Whatever." She mumbles to herself. "I didn't jump for them." She looks back up to the rock and the smile returns to her face. Firecracker, she remembers, that's what mom called me that day… after telling me how stupid I was…
A bird lands on a nearby tree causing the leaves to rustle. The sound brings her back into the here and now and the smile fades. Sighing, she stands up and prepares to leave. She takes a look at the scene before her, as if trying to take a mental picture. After a few moments of silent contemplation she returns to the darkness of the trees, retracing her steps down the path she had taken earlier tonight.
When she reaches the sidewalk at the other end of the forest she squints as her eyes adjust to the harsh light. The streetlamps and the neon signs leave no shadows and she feels exposed under the ruthless glow. Pedestrians pass her and when they think they are far enough away, they whisper to one another.
"Did you hear what happened to her mother?"
"What is she doing out here at this time of night?"
"What's going to happen to her now?"
Her sensitive hearing picks up the words and she wonders how it is that the entire town knows what happened. Cursing the gossipers, she takes off at a brisk walk towards her home where she plans to curl up in her bed and cry herself to sleep.
Minutes later she jogs up the front steps to her home. She pulls her keys from her bag and unlocks the door. As she steps inside, a flood of memories overtakes her.
Christmas mornings. Childhood birthday parties. Baking cookies with her mother while they danced to Elvis…
She wipes the tears from her eyes and proceeds to her room where she changes into her pajamas and slides into her cold bed. She has spent nights alone in her house, but tonight is different. Tonight she knows there will be no pancakes to smell in the morning and tonight she knows there will be no one to greet good morning.
She lets the tears come and soon she is hysterical. She cries, unheard, for the unknown future she is heading towards and for the past she must leave behind. She cries for every mistake and every fight. She cries for everything she never got the chance to say.
Faith cries because her mother is dead.