Prologue
Shinji
Everything was silent; even he sound of the waves as they casually crawled onto the beach didn't seem to affect the silence. Looking up at the sky he could see a linear blood stain painted on it, but strangely enough that didn't seem to affect his state of mind. After all that had happened he wasn't sure if anything could snap him out of the disconnected numbness he felt. He knew the was a presence somewhere around him but he let a few breaths make their way out of his body, before turning his head almost robotically to look at who he had for company on the silent bitch. It was Ayanami… or something else with her face but it didn't seem to matter, in a blink she was gone just as soon as he'd seen her. A tinge of red was out of focus at the corner of his eyes; he adjusted his eye sight to see what it was and there laid a contradiction. It seemed he was wrong; here next to him lay someone who disrupted the numbness that had gripped him the entirety of his consciousness so far. Was this another test?...it didn't matter; He couldn't stand it anymore.
He was on top of her before could register his own actions but this wasn't cause to stop, he just needed it to be all over. If he was dead it wouldn't be unwelcome information, he caused them all pain and when they needed him he wasn't there. Death was acceptable but not this, no more of this; had he not been punished enough? His eyes were glazed at this point as though it was a dream; he couldn't face his actions, face himself, and face the world he had failed to save.
Her eyes were open but they didn't seem to register his presence or his actions, it didn't matter it wasn't real nothing was real… or was it. He wasn't sure when she raised her hand but it was only as he broke out of his daze that he felt the warm caress off her touch. It only lasted a moment and then the warmth of her hand was gone, he wasn't sure if it was by his will or the hopelessness of the situation that loosened his grip on her throat. Tears made their way out of his eyes beyond his control.
"How Disgusting" She said in barely a whisper
He heard her words and they only made him cry harder and it still wasn't enough, the pain didn't go away. It wasn't physical pain, it was a pain that no one can take and no amount of pills can cure; the pain inside your heart. His small muffled cries slowly grew to a wail of hysteria, with every tear that passed the memories of the true reality he faced in the instrumentality came crashing back. He had chosen for all of humanity's hearts to be separate again but this didn't feel right, nothing had changed. He was still himself and the pain was still all too much to face.
He still wept on top of Asuka but she still acknowledged nothing, disgust in him was all she had let him know and he couldn't blame her. She had seen his true self, his true self the disgusting pervert that used her unconscious body for momentary escape. Her un-bandaged eye starred up at him with contempt and he couldn't take it anymore. He slowly brought his legs to steady themselves before standing, her one good eye following his movements silently.
He noticed a flicker reflected a few meters away as though calling to him; he made his way over to the object of his mesmerism. He stood looking at the small cross pined to a pole of wood which was embedded into the beach sand, it was the cross Misato had given him. She had died protecting him and he hadn't even been able to stop anything, he had failed her and if that wasn't enough he had seen a side of her he couldn't accept.
He put his hands around the cross and yanked it off the pole; he cautiously opened his hand to stare at the small object on his palm, and noted a small crack running from its hole down to the middle of the cross. Shinji noted he wasn't crying anymore but it didn't change how the pain and regret was eating him up on the inside. He gripped the cross tightly in his hands before making his way back towards the beach, he paused his walk towards the red sea as he reached his fellow pilot.
"You were right, I could never understand you." He didn't look down to see if she was listening to him or even conscious but continued "We are the same but we can never understand each other but some where down this twisted road I fell in love with you"
He let the silence build after the words he had no intention of saying until a few seconds ago left his mouth. He was stained with so many regrets that he couldn't stand it and he knew what he had to do but first he needed her to hear his words.
"I'm a coward and I accept that but I needed you to know that I love you Asuka and I hope one day we can understand each other" He gave a long pause as he starred at the giant severed head of Rei "Last chance to call me a baka" He said a small smile playing his lips.
The red head offered him no words but then again he didn't expect any, even if she said something it could only bring him pain. He could wait around for her to reject his confession and spit in his face, but he was a coward and he could never bring himself to face that. He gave a silent sigh before making his way down to welcome the crashing waves; he felt the ocean water crash slightly against the soles of his shoes before receding back into its main body. The second wave met him at his knees as he continued deeper into the blood-like water; he didn't stop even as the water took in all of him. He went in deeper until there would be no going back even for a coward like him, he needed to end the cruel joke that was his life and wash away all his sins. If whatever god existed allowed it, he may be born again a pure soul but then again that was just wishful thinking; the best he could hope for was nothingness.
The waves continued to crash softly on to land; the young man it had swallowed gone and forgotten. A light breeze passed over the lone occupant on who lay unchanged and unmoved on the beach sand; she blinked but moved not a muscle, her eyes never leaving the sky.
"Baka" she spoke barely above a whisper
Rei
"Ikari" she whispered
Rei's eyes stared up at the sky unconsciously without focus; she didn't know how long she had been lying on the beach but slowly brought herself up into a seated position. She tried to remember what had happened but couldn't, every time she tried to recall what happened her mind drew a blank. Giving up on figuring out why she was on the beach Rei pushed herself up to her feet. She observed the desolate ruined land a frown making its way to her face, the last thing she remembered was the battle with the sixteenth angel. She had sacrificed herself for Shinji and that meant another had replaced her; she could feel something had changed within her but as to what, she wasn't clear. Giving herself a momentary introspection, Rei wasn't surprised to find herself in her school uniform; this being one of the only articles of clothing she possessed. Had the end already come? Was she dead? She didn't feel dead, her eyes peered into the sky to see a trail of red across the sky. Looking across the waters though not showing any surprise facially Rei was surprised to see some of the MP Evas' carcasses littered across the ocean. Knowing she wasn't going to get any answers standing around here, Rei made her way around the beach needing to identify where she was and then she could find the commander; he would explain what was going on.
She walked along the shore keeping an eye out for any land marks that she would recognize; she couldn't have been walking for more that ten minutes when she saw a figure laying in the sand, the red plug suit giving her a good idea of who it was. She slowly approached the red head and was faced with another conundrum as she looked at the state of unit 2s pilot. Rei silently observed the unconscious pilot, noting the bandaged arm, head and eye. It was now clear to Rei that there had been a battle, a battle against the seventeenth angel seemed probable but that didn't explain the MP Evas; could they have needed the entire Eva series to face one angel? It was Unlikely. This only left out one other possibility she could think of; that the devastation and sea of LCL were caused by third impact but even with that theory a great many things didn't make sense.
Reis inner musings were interrupted when the girl in front of her gave a moan; Asuka seemed to be waking up. Rei crouched down to stare at the girl as her eye lid fluttered open. Her un-bandaged eye starred pointlessly towards the sky not acknowledging Rei's presence. Observing Asuka's lack of reaction Rei briefly mused if she was still in a comatose state.
"Pilot Soryu" Rei called out softly checking to see if the girl was really conscious
Asuka's eye left the sky and starred at the first child but still her expression held the same blankness to it. Whatever had happened had probably left the girl in a state of shock Rei thought to herself.
"You seem to have multiple injuries, can you make any movements?" Rei asked
Asuka listened to Rei's words but it took a moment for what she said to make sense, she slowly brought her bandaged hand up to her own face as if inspecting the damage. Looking at her bandaged arm she remembered the fight with the MP Evas all too well, which sent shivers down her spine and a sick feeling in her gut. She could still remember the pain of them eating away at her Eva; at her, the memory proving too much for her Asuka jerked to her side, her back to Rei and attempted to throw up but only dry heaved. After much fruitless retching Asuka was able to regain control of her body, breathing hard she could feel Rei's consistent stare probing into her back. Turning to glare at the girl Asuka pushed herself up to a seated position before speaking.
"Where are we" her voice gruff her throat feeling unimaginably dry
"I am unaware of our present location" Rei said getting up from her crouched position and staring out to the setting sun "It will be dark soon we should find shelter"
Asuka looked towards the ocean unable to gather her thoughts, looking towards Rei she felt her temper flare. She didn't need any help from wonder girl, not now not ever. Asuka tried pushing her self up to her feet but was gripped by nausea and stumbled unsteadily before being forced back down on her knees and hands. A pair of hands circled her wrist and upper arm as if to hoist her up, realizing what was going on Asuka flinched away from Rei; breaking her grip. Asuka turned to face the first child her eyes blazing with contempt.
"Don't touch me first" Asuka said her eyes filled with hate
Rei didn't reply but only starred down at her, unable to understand why Asuka detested her so much. She never was able to understand her before so why let it bother her now. Thinking it best to continue on her own Rei walked around the red head, making her way away from the beach shore but paused a moment before turning her head slightly in the red heads direction.
"I will continue on my own, you are unfit for travel so remain here while I look for help"
"Like hell I will" Asuka said forcing herself to stand giving the girl a sneered grin
Rei considered protesting but Asuka was already making her way past her unsteadily, knowing arguing with Asuka would be pointless she fell in behind her and followed silently.
Mariko
Coughing up a fit Mariko Saitou crawled out of the ocean of LCL, what had happened was beyond her but she silently cursed herself for staying in Tokyo-3. She'd seen that the shit was hitting the fan with all the monsters fighting and explosions, too late for that now she guessed as she laid flat on her back turning her eyes up at the sky. A red streak stained the sky but she didn't care to wonder what it was, last thing she remembered was getting shot in the back so right now she wasn't feeling particularly curious as to what was happening but rather glad to be alive. Fear was the main feeling going through her right now; she remembered some things, brief flashes of her life; happy memories, sad memories and horrible memories that shaped her deepest fears. She shuddered at the thought of them, that didn't matter anymore she was alive; her life flashing before her eyes giving her the general idea that she was dead. She slowly unsteadily climbed to her feet, feeling the sand grinding between her wet clothes and body. She gave the area a once over before deciding on a general direction to take. She had to get away from this damned city before diarrhea hit the fan, as she took a step though a sound caught her attention. It was distant at first but as she listened more intently she got a good idea of what it was. The sound was the cries of a baby, slowly following the cries she started to jog in its general direction. It didn't take long for her to see a small figure in the sand squirming and emitting the most annoying sound she'd ever heard. Rushing over to the baby she was soon crouched down next to it but didn't attempt to pick it up just yet, starring at the small human she couldn't help but smile as she watched his little legs and arms beat around the air for anything it would soon call mother. Finally she picked it up and cradled it in her arms and noticed an object next to where the baby had laid; it was a simple white cross with a slight crack to it.
"Great, now I have a baby to look out for" she said picking up the cross. She hadn't noticed but the baby had ceased to cry in her arms and was looking up at her intently. "Come on let go see if we can't find your mother" she said softly walking towards her previous route.
Maya
Maya looked on warily as the solid carcass of an MP Eva was hoisted out of the muddy ground, the site of the bloody thing disgusted her but after all she'd been through during the Seele's assault on Nerv; she could stomach it. She had "returned" more or less five months ago but even then she woke up to find it had been six months since Seele attempted to initiate third impact. She had found that she was the last of the bridge crew to return, to which they called her a late bloomer. It wasn't intentional but she had been some what embarrassed when Ritsuko had explained to her that a persons return depended on their will to live, this implied that though having returned her will was weak.
"How's the salvage operation going down there Maya?" Her intercom crackled to life with Ritsuko on the other side
"Their extracting the last of the Eva series in this sector sensei, things are going according to schedule"
"Good, the Evas will be transported via aircraft carrier to the JSSDF base in Tokyo-2"
"How are the negotiations with the U.N going?"
"Not too great I'm afraid, all Nerv operations are now under the JSSDF and that goes for Nerv employees' as well" Ritsuko said sounding weary
"What does that mean for us exactly?"
"All Nerv employees will be put up for evaluation and reassigned to new projects"
"I see"
"Things are coming to a close here so Misato and I will be back in a few days, I'll see you soon Maya" Ritsuko said not entirely sure what she could say to the girl.
"Hai" she responded listlessly
She hated being out on the field but there were no other options, they were stretched beyond their means and a few people could be trusted to manage such operations. Most of the JSSDF soldiers returned along with most of the Nerv staff but neither continued their pre-impact fight, apparently after returning from being a puddle of LCL the last thing you wanted to do was pick up a gun. The JSSDF called a cease fire on Nerv once most of their chain of command returned, though the apparent higher ups that had ordered the attack were still unaccounted for. Tokyo-3 was generally the only area affected by the initial blast from the beginning stages of the instrumentality, the rest of the world suffering from sudden liquidation with a few crashes in-between.
"Salvage operation complete Mam, Evas en route to lift zone" a man reported
Maya gave a curt nod in understanding before climbing into a vehicle that had rolled in to her side, with a slam of the door the vehicle jolted to life moving towards what was left of Tokyo-3. The Geo-front had been totally annihilated and all that was left in its place was a giant gaping hole. There were no civilians left in Tokyo-3, only workman and army personal remained to try restoring the city. Restoration of the city was going surprisingly well but as for Nerv headquarters; it seemed unlikely it would be restored. Nerv being the source of the event people had naturally blamed them for what happened, much as they would have like to have the public know the absolute truth about the events; the U.N had already made plans to cover up the truth. They had worked hard to protect the world, had sacrificed children for the cause and yet here they were; being accused for trying to destroy the world they had protected.
"This sucks" Maya silently whispered
Misato
"Bark, bark, bark" a puppy barked but was calmed as its owner gave its head a reassuring ruffle to calm it down.
"Do you have it with you?" a woman asked clutching a small dog
Passively starring at the woman who looked to be in her mid forties Misato sighed "Yeah"
"The boy hasn't returned?"
She didn't reply
"Its too bad he would have been quite a hero, once it all gets out" The other woman said
"I have a request before I hand the data over to you" this time the brunette sitting across from her didn't reply, so Misato continued "The information about the first child doesn't come out"
"Oh? She is quite a big piece in all this you know, were not releasing the truth if we keep some things hidden"
"Half truths are better than no truths at all"
"Glazing over her involvement won't be an easy task"
"Make it work" Misato said as she tossed a data card at the woman; who snatched it out of the air greedily
The mountain aerial cable car had made its cycle and was back at the boarding platform, with its stop a brunette climbed out clutching the puppy in her hands. Misato starred out into the country, as the only other occupant of the carrier vacated at its stop without another word. Misato didn't stare after her but only kept her eyes on the scenery. The carrier started to move again but Misato wasn't bothered, she didn't mind going around again.
Asuka
"What!" Asuka blustered
"Asuka please calm down" Misato tried to calm the girl
"I thought you said Nerv would be restored along with its legal protection and jurisdiction"
"That's true but project-E has been ruled as an abomination and far too dangerous to continue"
"I am an Evangelion pilot" Asuka said with a hesitant pause her eyes settling on Rei who remained unreadable "We are Eva pilots, Eva is our life what do you expect us to do now"
Bending over slightly and laying an arm on Asuka's shoulder Misato tried to give the girl a reassuring smile "I understand how you feel Asuka but please try to understand, the angels are gone there's no need to fight any more" Misato gave a pause making eye contact with Rei "You can be normal children now"
Asuka slapped Misato's hand away in disgust "Incase you haven't noticed were not normal kids" turning her attention to Rei she continued "And you; all you do is stand there, don't you care about anything at all. I thought Eva was your bond or whatever"
Rei gave Asuka a momentary glance but returned her gaze at nothing in particular as if searching, but what she searched for she wasn't sure. Her A.T-field had weakened to those of a mortal, Dr Akagi had confirmed what she already suspected; she was now fully human.
Feeling slightly put off Asuka continued "You can't expect us to be normal after all we have been through"
"I know that Asuka but there's nothing else I can do the committee has already decided"
Asuka had already knew the odds of the Eva project being continued were slim, but here and now as it was confirmed she couldn't stand it. What was she to do now? Her entire identity rested on being a pilot and now it was all tossed aside as if none of it had ever mattered. Like none of it had ever mattered. She turned away from Misato not wanting to show any of the emotion going through her, turning to stare around the area they were in. They were at the park, not her choice; Misato gathered them here, probably setting the mood to let them down easy. Asuka knew Rei wasn't dumb and had probably known the Eva project would be scrapped but as you'd expect from wonder girl; no hint of what was on her mind made it to the surface.
Turning back to look at Misato Asuka said "So what comes next" Her voice subdued
"Well thanks to your great service to the world, you don't ever have to worry about your financials for the rest of your lives" Misato sighed as that didn't invoke any reaction from both girls."Since the commander hasn't returned Rei doesn't have a guardian, so she will be moving in with us"
This got a reaction out of Asuka "What!"
"Asuka-"
"What are you trying to do run a pilot orphanage for Nerv, so she doesn't have a guardian but that doesn't mean you have to be her guardian"
"I know Asuka but I want to, that is if you want to Rei" Misato said looking anxiously towards Rei
Still donning on her impassive look Rei turned to meet Misato's gaze "It's not a problem"
Still having her gaze on Rei Misato gave the girl a smile she hoped would reach her "That's great Rei, I'm sure we'll all get along once everything settles down, right Asuka?"
Misato turned towards Asuka to find the girls last known position vacated. She knew nothing was ever easy with Asuka but Misato couldn't help but sigh heavily.
"Well lets get you moved in Rei, I'm sure Asuka will have cooled down by the time she gets home" Misato said with a forced smile
"Unlikely" Rei replied much to Misato chagrin
"Yeah" she said meekly as they started for the car
"Moving in with us wasn't enough, now I have to share a room with her" Asuka protested though not with her usual flare
"Look Asuka I know it's not at your convenience but your rooms the biggest so you'll just have to make do"
"Fine but I have some ground rules, come on wonder girl" Asuka said pulling a stagnant Rei into her room
Misato let a tired smile form on her lips as she watched both girls vanish into Asuka's room, correction their room. She was glad Asuka didn't argue too much on the room issue, Misato guessed Asuka was fearful of acknowledging the elephant in the room as much as she was. There are three rooms in the apartment and yet only two were occupied, though Asuka never said it Misato knew the girl understood why the third room was not in use.
Shinji was a sort of taboo among them, it had been two years since Seele tried to initiate third impact and still Shinji hadn't returned yet. It was unnerving to think about him; all the things that came with him were just too much. Memories rippled through her from third impact from time to time, his voice in the background as Kaji made love to her with his tongue. God she hated the thought of Shinji seeing her like that, she tried to convince herself that it hadn't been real but lying to yourself didn't seem to stick anymore. Asuka was just as reluctant to talk about Shinji as she was if not more.
Asuka gave a yawn as she watched images flicker through the screen; TV hadn't gotten any better after third impact. At the corner of her eye she could see Misato having a glass of orange juice; Misato had given up drinking though Asuka doubted that would last long. Rei was sitting next to her also watching TV, more looking than watching Asuka suspected. The girl just starred out at nothing all day and only changing her facial expression on random occasions, to which she looked like a lost puppy; looking, searching but as to what Asuka wasn't sure. Lord knew what went through Rei's mind now that her precious commander was gone and unlikely to return.
A commercial came on causing Asuka to frown, it was a commercial made by Nerv to bring up morale for those exceptionally effected by the events that took place in their liquefied state. The commercial showed a series of images with happy people accompanied by words meant to be inspiring to the viewer, all this wasn't what made Asuka frown; the last segment of the commercial involved the pictures of her Rei and Shinji in their plug suits with words urging the viewer to live the life these children had sacrificed for them, the last picture to fade out being a picture of Shinji looking towards the camera as he was climbing into Unit-01.
"I'm going to turn in for the night, got an early start tomorrow so good night for now" Misato announced sounding slightly subdued
It could have been her sleepiness making its way to her voice; Asuka wasn't sure but knew the commercial didn't sit right with Misato as well, neither girl returned Misato's goodnight but Asuka doubted she noticed watching her from the corners of her eyes as she slid her room door open and shut. Rei stood from her side drawing Asuka's attention.
"I shall also retire for the evening as well. Good night" Rei stated before walking away
Asuka didn't reply Rei's departing words but only scrutinized the girl as she walked away. Turning back to the TV in front of her Asuka let out a sigh switching channels finding the program she was on dreary. Her finger was hooked on automatic as she scrolled through the channels letting her mind wonder. School had picked up again, not that she planned on attending even with Misato's urgings. These days they couldn't walk out in the streets without some lunatic fawning over them like they were god. That bloody commercial was being broadcast all over Japan and some parts of the world, which gave the masses some thing to believe in. This was great and all but when people came up to her they expected a happy encouraging person who hadn't had a psychological breakdown leaving her in a coma or been eaten alive by a bunch of humanoid giants, but these things were what haunted her and she couldn't stand the look of disappointment from strangers that hardly knew her.
They called them heroes, Asuka could laugh at that; even with mama with her she had lost. She had lost and now she'd lost mama again, Asuka drew her knees to her chest -with her left hand, her right still on automatic- feeling cold all of a sudden. A flash of the MP Evas made its way into her thoughts and she couldn't stop it, the remote in her right hand softly clicked on the floor as she dropped it. It took only a second in which the fight with the MP Evas had replayed itself in her mind. Her hand was on her left eye which had gripped her with a ghost pain from the Longinus spear plunging into unit-2's eye, her breath was coming out in short gasps which were all she could do to avoid screaming right now. Her hand quickly made its way to her shorts pant pocket where she drew out a container with white pills inside, which she quickly popped the lid and helped herself to two pills. She wasn't sure what type they were but Ritsuko said they would help with her "episodes" and so far they had. Slowly her breath evened out as the pain in her eye dissipated to a dull ache.
Yes some hero she was, waking up every night screaming for her mama, as the nightmares from her battle with the MP Evas replayed itself in her dreams. She was no hero; all she ever did was lose to those monstrosities, and as always the invincible Shinji always came rushing in and saved the day. Even in the end with mama with her she had lost and probably would have died or been disfigured for life, but again the invincible Shinji charged in with his monster and fixed everything. Asuka looked at her hand which she had vividly saw get split in half, now not even a scratch remained. Yes the invincible Shinji fixed everything and as if to rub it in he still hadn't returned, probably just biding its time as the masses continued to idolize the fallen pilot who had sacrificed himself for a world that held nothing for him. Indeed Shinji was a martyr to all the people in the world, she hated it, hated all those sad faces as they held all night prayers for his return. They had never even met him, who were they to act like they understood anything of him, Shinji was a coward and the reason he hadn't come back was that very fact but no one wanted to hear that did they? No they didn't. The last time she pronounced that out loud in the confines of this house hold she was slapped by Misato who tearfully retreated back into her room for hours like a wounded puppy to lick it wounds, like she had been the one to receive the blow.
"Tch" Asuka exhaled sharply.
Two years and he still wasn't back and yet Misato never lost hope; she hadn't called off the dogs in the search for her precious Shinji. Asuka sighed feeling more exhausted than angry at the thoughts recounted, gingerly she reached for the remote and switched off the TV before standing to turn in for the night. She was done with turning off the lights as she made her way to her room; correction their room. Unable to help it Asuka let a sigh pass through her; she was at the room door when she paused. The entire apartment was dark and the hallway darker if possible, Asuka's pause wasn't understood even by herself as she stood there; hands on the slide grip. Her eyes were not starring at the door in front of her though, they starred at the darkness where the door to the unoccupied bedroom should be. It may have been dark but Asuka's eyes had grown used to the dark by now and she could see the slight out line of the door. As if unconsciously her hand let go of the handle to her room -their room-, the first step was a hesitant one but her steps didn't stop until she stood in front of her former roommate's door. She looked up to the sign that had never been touched since their return to the apartment, Asuka let her hand grip the handle and slowly slid the door temporarily out of her sights before closing it behind her.
The room was dark and Asuka could barley see a thing but the outline of the curtains as they held back the light of tonight's moon. She moved towards the curtains and pulled one side away letting a stream of light into the room. She opened a small portion of the curtain but it was enough for her to see most of the contents of the room. It hadn't changed from when the baka had left, all was just as he had neatly left it, no dust caked any of the structures though thanks to Misato's maintenance of the rooms' cleanliness. A small part of Misato had gone with Shinji and she would sooner or later fall apart if she continued this way. That baka would never come back, he was a coward and always hurt the people closest to him, it good that he didn't come back. Asuka grit her teeth as these thoughts ran through her, even as she disgustedly looked around the room her hate wasn't where it needed to be. Looking about the room she felt hate towards herself more than she did Shinji, her breath had quickened and her fits clenched. She could feel the a physical weight on her heart dropping with every thought of Shinji, his dejected feel sorry for me look, his automatic I'm sorry look, and the few times she saw joy in him.
Asuka looked towards the pristine unruffled well made bed and was next to it even before knowing her own actions, 'what am I doing here' she asked herself looking down at the bed. She lowered herself down slowly as if the bed would bite, she sat down cautiously lowering her entire weight, as if she had disturbed a laying aura; Shinji's scent rose from the bed making its way to her nose. Her heart calmed slightly as she sat there inhaling his scent, something wet splashed against her thigh breaking her from her reverie bring her attention to the wet sensation.
"Why am I crying" she said in almost a whisper "Its not my fault he didn't come back" she said trying to contain her unguarded emotion but that seemed to make things worse as more tears flooded her eyes.
Resigning her self Asuka let her tears silently run down her face, some rolling down her chin to her neck, some off her chin to her lap. She was hyperventilating with every breath she drew in and couldn't help it as her body started to shake. She felt cold again, it wasn't a cold from the room temperature but a coldness from the inside; she slowly pulled back the covers of the bed before slipping herself inside and bringing the blankets around her in a tight wrap.
Her tears were soaked into the pillow as she gradually relaxed, finding the scent around the bed comforting even with the small tinge of blood. Her breath was still somewhat erratic but was gradually calming along with her heart. Feeling exhausted Asuka closed her eyes thinking she would lay here a few moments to collect herself before joining Rei in the other room.
"It's not my fault...yeah this is all his fault" she mumbled as she lost consciousness to a dreamless sleep only to wake to find it was morning.
'Why am I alive' Rei questioned herself in the embrace of darkness
She lay on her back starring towards the ceiling though not looking at it or anything at that, her eyes were open but they might as well have been closed, she saw nothing and didn't care to see anything at all. Her mind went around the same questions but the answers didn't get any clearer. The major hadn't blamed her for third impact; her reasoning was that she had been manipulated by the commander; this was not entirely true but Rei didn't see a need to correct her. The major had been kind with her offer to have Rei stay with her, and for some odd reason being alone seemed to bother her more than it had before.
The commander was gone and very unlikely to return, which left here alone with no purpose. It struck her as a surprise how things had turned out, but she realized that she wasn't surprised that she had chosen Shinji over the commander but that the confused emotions about Shinji had been confirmed through her actions, which she still had no memories off. 'Why did I come back' she asked herself, she couldn't answer her that as well. Had she come back for Shinji? But that didn't make sense with his absence from this world. There was a possibility that he had come back but hadn't been found or wanted to be found. There was no alternative Shinji had to have come back by now, she could feel it in her heart, yes she could feel many things she had never been able to now; call it love if you want.
Shaking her head as if to clear the cob webs in her head Rei made her decision; Shinji was out there some where and she would find him. She had come back for him and she would be with him.
The Departure
"Sheep seem to hate Serta"
"Serta?" Asuka questioned
"Serta we make the world's best mattress"
"What?" Asuka asked incredulously
"They make world's best mattress"
"You really need to stop watching all those American networks their filling your head with garbage" Asuka watched the girl raise her hand slightly and sighed "Not literally"
"Oh" Rei commented lowly
"Jeez my plane leaves in fifteen minutes and she's still not here, gave up drinking but still tardy as ever"
"She will be here, no need to worry"
"Who said I was worried, I just don't want her to regret missing my departure is all"
Rei didn't respond finding it unnecessary; living with Asuka for the past year had given her an insight on when not to contradict her, even when she was "completely full of it", a term Rei picked up from the American TV shows. A voice rang throughout the terminal announcing that Asuka's flight was now boarding, Rei felt uncomfortable as the red head started to pace back and forth cursing under her breath.
"Don't say a word" Asuka said noticing Rei about to speak, probably trying to reassure her.
Heel against floor was heard in rapid succession as Misato moved hurriedly towards the girls; she skipped over various luggages from other travelers waiting about before coming to a breathless halt in front of the girls.
"She'll meet us at the airport she said" Asuka said incredulously glaring at Misato
"Sorry I-"Misato tried to get a few words out but Asuka continued
"Honestly I don't know why I care, I should have left already" Asuka said turning away from Misato with her arms crossed over her chest
"I got you something" Misato said holding out a red wrapped present
This got Asuka's interest as she turned to face Misato who now stood next to Rei. "What is it?" Asuka asked as she took it into her hands
"Don't open it now, it's a surprise but know it was very difficult to find" Misato straightened up having caught her breath.
"Is this why you were late?" Asuka had calmed down some
"Yeah, sorry about that"
"You're here now, so that's good enough" Asuka said with a small huff
"Great now can I get a hug or am I going to have to pry it out of you" Misato asked her arms wide open
Rei watched almost transfixed but the interaction between the two, Asuka walked forward into Misato's arms as though unwilling too. The two embraced tightly, Asuka burying her head into Misato's chest.
"Get in here wonder girl" Asuka said her voice slightly strained, not looking up from Misato's breast.
Misato motioned for her to join them in their hug, to which Rei noted the older woman's moist eyes. Rei felt out of place for a moment before letting a small smile form on her face as she walked into a three way hug
"Don't ever say I never gave you anything wonder girl" Asuka said pulling back from the group hug her eyes teary
"You never gave me anything" Rei stated
"Ha, a hug from the former pilot of unit-2 you should be honored"
"Serta they make the world's best mattresses"
"Why do you keep saying that" Asuka asked mystified
A small grin made its way to Rei's face as though she'd been waiting for the question "I plan to purchase one after your departure"
Asuka was completely baffled before a grin made formed on her face."There just might be hope for you yet wonder girl"
Noting she was running out of time Asuka turned to Misato to give her last good byes before making a final dash for her plane.
"You could stay you know, I'll even take you guys out for a steak dinner"
"I could but I can't, I need to do this, besides I'll be back in a month or two"
"You better or we'll come get you, right Rei"
"Debatable"
Asuka cracked another smile at Rei's form of charm. "I'm going to miss my flight if this keeps up"
"Well the plans working so far" Misato said with a grin
Asuka shared Misato's grin with a smile, before walking towards the woman and giving her one last hug. Breaking from the embrace she picked up her light luggage. "Goodbye" she said before retreating from the two.
Asuka's progress was halted as Rei spoke "Don't say a sad word like goodbye when you go"
"Feeling chatty today aren't you" Asuka said looking curiously at Rei "Let me guess; one of the few wisdoms that baka passed to you?"
Rei didn't reply but she knew she didn't have to as Asuka gave a shake of the head her face slightly downcast. Asuka brought her head up a small smile playing her lips.
"You better keep in touch" Misato said watching her surrogate daughter
"That's my line, you too wonder girl; you write to me and tell me all those weird observations you make about that garbage you always watch" she gave a brief pause to which they all just starred at one another a word not said "Alright then, I'll see you guys later" Asuka said turning away from the two and began walking towards her planes boarding station before vanishing after the security check point.
"She will not return" Rei stated
"Yeah" Misato whispered looking to where Asuka had just disappeared
T.B.C
My nephew wouldn't stop mimicking the Serta mattress advert while I was writing, so I got it into the story. P.S: This is my first fic so keep that in mind but constructive criticism will be swallowed.
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