This is a remake of the Season 7 episode, 'Lassie Jerky' which will include Lassiter's sister Lauren from season 5's episode 'Dead Bear Walking'. I had this idea awhile back and it makes complete sense considering she's a film student and would have been paired with Kate and Chavo for their project. Since Lauren's character was only in one episode, that mean's I'll create more of a character for her or rewrite it.
Don't worry I won't make her into the female version of Lassie. (LOL moment)
I don't own Psych, their character or anything else that involves the show.
Also, this will be exactly like the episode, which it was in a form of a Found Footage Movie so expect different POV's in the form of different Camera angles.
Enjoy.
Lassie Jerky Remake
In the fall of the year of the dragon, seven individuals ventured unthinkably deep into the woods of Santa Barbara to investigate claims that Bigfoot had established residency there.
The Following footage is all that remains' of their ordeal. What you are about to see is real and may not be suitable for those who struggle to digest milk products…
Or blood relatives of Big Foot.
White fuzz came onto the screen, then black. After a second the video camera comes to like to show Chavo positioning the camera while Kate and Lauren hold their own camera's with all of them set up in a camp in a forest.
Kate was wearing sneakers, jeans with a belt, a white shirt, a grey sweater. While Lauren had Hiking Boots on, jeans, long black leather jacket with a blue long sleeved shirt on underneath, a necklace and a grey beanie.
Chavo was wearing a darkish red shirt, Plaid jacket, jeans, belt, sneakers and some equipment around his waist.
"Jeez Chavo you look like a giant baby on film." Kate said.
Lauren rolled her eyes and said," I don't think he does. Also Chavo, make sure the light's blinking, we won't capture anything without it."
Chavo gave her an are-you-serious-look and said," Thank you for that amazing advice." He said sarcastically and finished.
"Thank you for being sarcastic." Kate said back.
"Take it easy." Chavo said and got the camera from Kate.
He held it and recorded her with Laruen. They started following her to another part of camp to where a fallen log was with a wrapped Turkey leg was.
"Ready?" Kate asked and got a nod.
"I am currently standing less than 200 meters from where Chavo here cowered, like a bitch, in a bush, but, somehow managed to get a picture of this thing's right calf and buttock, before it disappeared." She said and got a photo that showed what she said.
"Just to set the record straight, I didn't, I was trying to scare it off so it won't attack us." Chavo defended.
Lauren talked off-screen and said," Dude, you screamed like a little girl and I thought it was you and Kate having a private time." She said.
"Thanks a lot Lulu. Here's a fact if I go down, you're like a dog without a bone, chica." He said the first part to Laruen, sarcastically, while the last part to Kate.
"Dude, I would pick up that camera and forge ahead with Lulu like Denzel picked up the flag in Glory." She said in a knowing tone.
"Technically he did that by himself but that'll work." Lauren said.
Kate silently nodded, continued to document and said," There have been spates of recent sightings of what has locally gained traction as a Bigfoot-type creature."
"But wait! There's more…" She said dramatically.
"Yeah, show 'em the transmitter." Chavo said excitedly.
Kate got a cooked Turkey leg and a small device and said," we have planted a number of these motivational devices. In order to entice our favorite Squatch and giving us a little encore." She said and placed the transmitter into the leg.
"Also we had to make multiple because I suggested that a wild animal other than Bigfoot would try to eat it or how you suggested, Chavo." Lauren said while Chavo had the camera pointed at her.
"Right and thanks, because I know how much he loves dark meat and technology." Kate said while wrapping the leg up and putting it in the tree.
"Careful… those things cost about $200 each." Lauren said concerned.
A loud sound vocalized around the area and the camera jumped to Lulu who crouched in fear and it sounded like someone was having a bad allergy attack.
"What the hell is that?" Chavo asked frightened.
Kate pulled out a knife and Lauren gulped a little. She always felt uneasy when she saw knives or guns, especially around her brother, who had a weird thing for that stuff, which she never bothered to ask about. They started walking to where that was until they heard someone talk and hid behind a semi-fallen log.
"Will you stop it? That is a ridiculous sound." Said a familiar voice that sounded annoyed.
"Forget you, Shawn. You know I'm allergic to pine needles and most types of dirt. Plus it's raining now."
Laruen saw too figures behind some trees that looked familiar to her and she continued to hear one of them complain.
'If I don't start smelling slow roasting brisket in the next two minutes we're turning around."
Chavo had the camera pointed at Laruen while she had it pointed at Kate who walked up to Shawn and Gus excitedly.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Shawn friggin' Spencer? You really came! This is the boobs!"
Shawn looked surprised while Gus looked confused and a little mad, the anger was pointed at Shawn. Laruen and Chavo came up close to her
"Uh… Kate fav… wait Laruen?" Shawn asked surprised with Gus the same.
"Hi guys." She said cheerfully but was confused.
"We'll talk later. But wow. You look just like your picture on the BlogSpot." Shawn said the last part directed to Kate, looking surprised.
Gus was looking at the cameras suspiciously and a little surprised to see Lauren.
"I thought it was a screen shot of Angelina Jolie in Original Sin."
"Shawn, who are these people, why is Lassie's sister here and how do those two know your name?" Gus asked curiously.
The camera went to Shawn's.
"We know your name too, Pootie Tang."
"W-at-ta!"
Gus's and Laruen's facial expressions were of confusion with Lauren giving Gus a look.
"Oh, Gus, We're just joking with you because you're sweet enough to melt and drizzle on two scoops of me." Kate said in a flirtatious manner.
"This is ChiChi, uh, Chavo and Lulu or how you somehow know her Laruen."
"Chavo hid in a bush when he heard you guys coming, because he thought you guys were Bigfoot. And he forgot to take his Midol this morning."
"Okay. I was going for a low, ominous angle. And I don't have Ovaries." Chavo said with Gus having a confused expression while Lauren rolling her eyes and cringing a little.
"That's debatable."
"No it isn't."
"Uh… Bigfoot?" Gus asked seriously, as if he didn't believe what he heard.
"Yeah, Bigfoot." Kate said with knowing grin." Did Shawn not tell you the deal or…"
"What deal? We're on our way to The Sassy Quatch. It's a secret barbeque hut built into the side of the cave that almost no one knows about. It has the best tasting Corn Pudding in all of…"
The realization hit Gus and he soon gave Shawn an, are-you-serious-look while looking ticked off and betrayed. Shawn had a knowing smile on his face, Lauren was snickering while Kate and Chavo had amused looks.
"Shawn, you son of a bitch. Why do you have a camera?"
The Camera went to Chavo's and showed Shawn trying to let Gus know what was really going on.
"Uh… Well, Buddy… Uh, if I had told you the truth, you wouldn't have come! Here's the thing. I, uh I stumbled upon Kate and Chavo's blog, not knowing Lassie's sister was here as well."
"I'll explain later." She told them and Shawn nodded.
"I was messing around on the Harry and the Henderson's fan site. Turn's out…"
"Shawn, John Lithgow is never writing you back. He's never even heard of that site."
"I once wrote a letter to Madonna, saying how I was a big fan and she wrote me back and I got tickets for one her shows." Lauren added.
"That's the Boob's! How was it?" Kate asked excitedly.
"Huh, first off, that rocks and second, that's your opinion Gus."
Kate butted in and said," Look, if Shawn can help us find the beast by using his gift and we can catch it all on camera… we will get an awesome grade for our project and win the Student Academy Award."
"It will be more fun if you guys help us." Lauren asked hopefully.
The Camera went to Laurens and saw how excited Shawn was and tried to persuade Gus by saying," Dude, the Student Academy Award!"
Gus denied this fearfully and said clearly," Oh, no. Oh, no, no. I will not be eaten by a bear to prove that Bigfoot does not exist. Nope, No bear is eating me. Not today. Not ever."
Lauren and Kate were giving Shawn neutral expressions the camera went to Chavo which showed Shawn shooing them off while continuing to film Gus and it goes back to Shawn's Camera where Gus continues his rant, but he says the last few parts at Shawn to make himself clear.
"Not even in your dreams."
"Okay you just jinxed yourself." Shawn said.
"I felt like he did too." Lauren said, agreeing with Shawn.
"Suck it, Shawn but not you Lulu, I don't what not Lassie would do if he heard that." Gus said the last part fearfully.
"Wait is this Lassie really smoking hot? I would love to get my hands on him." Kate excitedly and dreamily said.
"Not going to give an answer to that." Lauren said a little disgusted and creeped out.
"At least stick around and let us show you the Bigfoot Blind we set and it's totally rad! Also, we have a mondo stash of Beef Jerky there." Kate said, trying to persuade Gus.
"Dude, they have meat here." Shawn said.
"Also there are different flavors." Lauren added.
"As I previously said, lots of it." Kate said with a knowing smile.
Gus gave everyone an annoyed look, gave in and said," Fine, I'll stay long enough to refuel and put something in my stomach, I'm famished and I'm starting to see floating Protozoa."
"I know exactly what you mean." Chavo said, agreeing with him with Shawn's camera pointing at him.
"Ok great, Chichi, why don't you, uh, grab some wood for the fire. While Lulu and I show the boys the Blind."
That's the end of Chapter 1. I hope I got the episode right so far and hope you like what I did by adding Lassiter's sister in it.
Also please consider reading my other stories.
Thunderstrike16 signing off!