New one in the works—check it out; I have NO idea where this headed, only that Bonnie's driving the proverbial car, so join me on the ride if it tickles your fancy
Inhibition's for pussies. It's her motto if you ever gave enough of a fuck to ask. It's freeing; living the way she does, in the moment, her body doesn't need to produce adrenaline, because she goes to sleep with it in her veins—she doesn't need to be on her toes because she thinks she was born that way.
She's never lived with the questions in her mind; what will I be when I grow up? Who will I marry? Will I ever be happy?
Maybe when she was younger but not anymore—she understands; she was born to die.
The night Damon rips into her throat and pulls free her dinner, she slips a second—she allows herself to dream—allows herself in that moment to imagine what death is like, imagine being able to close her eyes at the age of 16—and it downright terrifies her, more so than anything ever has, it chills her to her bones and forces her to scream, rips the scream free and the steady pump of her blood—that's the night she dies. Even after Stefan pumps her full of Vitamin V, she's already dead—she's dead inside because Damon kills the girl with hopes and dreams, kills the girl who cares about pop-culture, and the lives of the rich and douche—kills her like she's nothing. The girl that opens her eyes is one who knows she's born to die.
She sets Damon on fire the next time she sees him because she deserves it—she tells Elena it's because she's coming into her powers—that she lost control, maybe she is. Maybe she's spiraling, but she does it because he deserves it.
Damon's the first real threat she's ever experienced—he's her first villain, the "Monster" in her life, the hurtle so to speak—and it makes sense to use that analogy because when she met him she wanted to jump him alright; he's the devil though, Lucifer—and it fits because wasn't he an angel? Damon looks like one; all that dark hair, that unmistakable innocent mask he wears from his crystalline eyes to his pouty lips, the body sculpted from marble spray-painted in bad intentions—it makes sense that he'd be Lucifer.
It's a good thing she's always considered herself an atheist—gasp.
When her grams dies it's only more proof—death dances around her that night in thick hazy clouds that only Bonnie and Shelia can see. It's so filling—the feeling of despair drowns her, she's breathless with it, her eyes disappearing behind her head as it stops her blood flow, she doesn't register the rustling of other bodies—only that the one person who understands—the one person who ever understands is now gone. She's alone in the world, and she's choking on it—choking on the despair, choking on the loss; but not just the loss of her grams—the loss of her innocence, the loss of the girl who had a chance—because it's solidified now, written in the fucking stars; she's born to die.
Stefan apologizes and she screams internally to make sure she doesn't hear him—if she did she's sure she'd kill him in cold blood.
Damon doesn't and he'd tell it's because he didn't do anything wrong but it makes her smile to know that he's already afraid of her—he doesn't apologize because he knows that Bonnie would end him.
Ben. It's a name she won't ever forget—Bonnie's shattered now, she carries her pieces around with her in her Gucci purse, she's forgotten what life feels like; breathing and seeing are nature's way of keeping her running—but Ben's there, and he's handsome, and charming and he looks beyond the broken girl Bonnie has begun to embody—that is, until he breaks her beyond repair
Ben is Bonnie's downfall.
Next come's the Kat. She's some twisted ambiguous vision of desire to the Salvatore's and it sounds like a personal problem to Bonnie—but Elena's gone and got herself involved, so Bonnie has to follow—it's her duty. She loves Elena Gilbert more then she loves her own absent t father most days—the girl is her sister blood or not, she's Bonnie's anchor to reality even if she doesn't know it. So yes Bonnie will walk through the flames for her, she'll stand in it, she'll cause it for the brunette because Bonnie's unequivocally sure that Elena would do the same for her
That is until Elena makes it clear that Damon Salvatore's emotional status is more important than hers.
Bonnie forgets what consciousness feels like after that. She feels dead.
Katherine is a bitch. However she's a bitch Bonnie respects, a bitch Bonnie gets the girl has balls of steele and Bonnie can relate—so when they talk badly about her she imagines all the reasons behind her actions—why she'd stab Stefan, why she'd choke Bonnie herself out in the foyer of the Lockwood's party, why she'd break Damon into such bite sized pieces that the other world has just got to suffer his wrath and why she'd reduce the fiery—can you tell I'm being sarcastic—Elena Gilbert into a wounded puppy and it makes sense to her. It makes sense that a girl with everything to live for would do anything not to die. Katherine is her enemy, but she's the reason Bonnie decides that though she might be born to die, she's got to live like she'll be alive tomorrow.
Katherine comes to Bonnie one night, she comes to her and she brings Damon Salvatore. Bonnie thinks this is it—she thinks this is the night she gets to stare death in the face—in her freakin' Hulk boy shorts and an off the shoulder camy, barefoot and scared shitless she'll stand there and fight them until it takes her.
"That's why I respect you Bonnie" Katherine says, back and forth along Bonnie's porch, Damon leans against the edge staring at her with those pretty boy eyes.
She hates his fucking guts.
Kat continues "You're out here for a fight when you're clearly overpowered, outnumbered and hopelessly outgunned—I haven't met a girl with balls so hard since—"she grins "—me" Bonnie wants to give her a righteous "I'm nothing like you!" but she thinks it's utter bullshit so she gives Kat a smile instead
"What's this about honey it's 2am and I've got a life to pretend to live tomorrow" Katherine eats it up, zooms forward so that the only thing separating Bonnie is the threshold of her door
"I'm leaving tonight-I got what i came for. Come with me Bonnie—forget them, forget all of them and come with me; this life isn't for you—I can see it in your eyes, you get it, get that life isn't to be lived just to be lived, you get that it's to be lived because you're going to die; come with us"
Bonnie looks over at Damon, his eyes are intense when they meet hers
"I hate you" she says quietly, "I hate you so much that it takes my breath away, I've never felt anything like it before, I'm standing here, and the fact that your even on my property has got whatever 6th sense bull-shit in my make-up that fires up the magic stick stirring—I want to watch you burn" she turns back to Katherine "so sorry, Prof. I can't go back to Hogwarts" Katherine gives her a devilish grin.
She steps as close as she can without an invitation, but Damon speaks up first "then use that. Make that your reason for leaving this godforsaken town, because if you stay here, it'll kill you, it'll drain you of all that fire and stand over you as you freeze, the people you love—the ones who love you back? They're lives will go on, they'll bury you, and they'll live with your memory—but that won't mean shit to you, come on and make your life worth something Bonnie, make it your mission to end me and you'll always have a reason to keep breathing"
The logic Surprises her. She says yes.
She yes, to the devil.
It's the plot-twist of the century.
So...? Whatdaya think? I wanted to try something different—Season 2's succsess lies in it's potential for "this" to go "the other way" when Katherine was around, they handled Damon's devotion to Katherine beautifully, but I always wondered what might happen if it went the other way, and to me Bonnie has more potential then all of them—I dunno where this is going yet, but stay tuned, I've got ideas. My thoughts are a bit jumbled~
As always, Review if you've got the time, if not? Just ENJOY