DISCLAIMER: I don't own Hetalia or any of the characters. Only Mikeru/Miku-chan(o).
This is just going to be a series of one-shots about my house after ordering a series of Hetalia 'units'. Maybe. I dunno. Perhaps it'll just be absolutely random drabble about nothing. I will say now that I have little to no knowledge of how these 'Hetalia Units/Robots' work - only that I've been dying to do a funny little fanfic involving them. Also, there will be some Nyotalia! involved.
ALSO: If you are looking for a well-thought-out storyline; perfect ICness; 100% perfect spelling/grammar; seriousness; etc. then don't read on. This is a semi-self-insert that I type up when I'm bored and it's entire purpose is to be goofy and stupid.
ENJOY! And review.
SHORT PROFILE OF MIKU-CHAN
Name: Mikeru Cherunobuiri
Gender: Male
Age: 14
Hair: shoulder length dark brown hair.
Eye Color: greenish-amber
[SOMEWHERE IN WISCONSIN]
Mikeru Cherunobuiri sat in front of his computer, surfing the web, extremely bored. He yawned, and patted his pet hamster Bain on the head, feeling proud of the little Red Army uniform he'd created for the little guy, right down to the combat helmet. Mikeru was about to close out of the web browser, when something caught his eye.
'Hetalia Units: 75% off! Everything must go! Order today!'
"Hetalia?" he asked himself, clicking on the advertisement. Hetalia was his third favorite anime after Fooly Cooly and Elfen Lied.
The page loaded, and he didn't really believe what he was seeing. Robots. Robots that supposedly looked and acted exactly like their fictional counterparts.
"Impossible!" he exclaimed to himself, though still interested.
But still - they were 75% off. The cheapest one was a 'Raivis Galante' unit for $2000.
"Latvia? Nah...let's see..."
He opened his account, and suddenly remembered a recent incident in which tens of thousands of dollars had been transferred to his account.
"80,000 dollars..." he said. "Let's buy some units."
He high-fived the hamster.
Several hours of silent decision making later, Mikeru had ordered the following units: Matthew Williams (Canada), Alfred F. Jones (America), Anya Braginskaya (fem!Russia), Chun-Yan Wang (fem!China), Feliciano Vargas (N. Italy), Francis Bonnefoy (France), and Vash Zwingli (Switzerland).
He clicked 'Express Delivery'. Now he waited.
[SEVERAL DAYS LATER]
Mikeru returned home from school, wearing the usual Flecktarn camouflage military jacket, black jeans, and white t-shirt that said 'Souls: I Eat Them'. Waiting on his front porch were several very large packages. They could only be one thing.
Mikeru squealed and dragged all 7 boxes into his living room, then, not bothering to read the instruction manuals first ripping the boxes open.
All seven units woke up groggily, wriggling out of their boxes. Mikeru sat on his sofa, twitching excitedly. The first to make it out of his box was Alfred.
"Dude...!" he exclaimed, "Where am I?"
"Yeah..." a quiet voice said as Matthew stood up, "What's going on?"
Anya yawned and stretched, seemingly okay with waking up in a strange place.
"Whatever's going on, I hope there's pasta here!" Feliciano exclaimed, looking as dopey and happy as always.
Vash clawed his way out of his box, violently thrashing and shouting German curses. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded.
All of the 'nations' turned to face Mikeru, who was smiling in amazement.
"You guys were bought by me, and I guess you'll be living with me from now on." Mikeru said happily.
"Bought...?" Vash asked, sounding a little pissed.
"Yeah. Whatever. It doesn't really matter now."
Their programming immediately forced them to forget about it.
"So, who are you?" Canada asked.
"I'm Mikeru Cherunobuiri! But you can call me Miku-chan. I live here alone, since my parents moved to Hong Kong for business. I didn't want to leave though, so I live here. My friend Eri shows up every now and again and-"
"Hey, dude, why isn't Chun waking up?" America asked.
"Francis too..." Matthew added.
Mikeru leaned over Francis and Chun's boxes, slightly confused. He dug out their manuals.
"My FRANCIS BONNEFOY unit won't wake up..." he read. "Sing the French national anthem as poorly as possible...he will wake up and immediately begin correcting you."
Mikeru stepped back, pulled out his phone, looked up the French national anthem, and started singing.
"Allens enfants de la Patrie, le door de gloire est ar-"
"Aretez-vous!" Francis shouted, shooting up from his box. "It's pronounce 'Allons', not 'Allens', and 'jour', not 'door'!"
"Welcome to the world of the living, dude!" Mikeru exclaimed, patting Francis on the head and moving on to Chun, reading her manual.
"Speak in Mandarin as poorly as possible..." he read.
Mikeru leaned over Chun's box and proceeded to scream: "Hēi! Chūn! Yǐjīng xǐingle!"
Chun shot up as well, shouting. "Zhè shì bù zhèngquè de fāngshì jiǎng pǔtōnghuà nǐ xīfāng shībài!"
Noticing her surroundings, she shut up for a moment. The other units explained the situation to Francis and Chun, programming kicking in and instantly making them 'okay' with having been bought by some kid for friendship and fun.
"So...what now?" Matthew asked.
"Can we eat dinner?" Feliciano asked, jumping up and down happily.
"How about we have some fun...?" Anya finally said, glaring evilly at Chun.
"Dude, I'm with Feliciano." Alfred said, "Let's go out for some burgers, on me!"
Alfred held up a card with the McDonalds logo on it and the word 'Unlimited' in glossy letters.
"But I want some pasta!" Feliciano exclaimed.
"I could go for some shchi." Anya said.
"Why don't I go in the kitchen and make some escargot?" Francis offered.
"No!" Chun exclaimed, "I'll make everyone some traditional Chinese cuisine!"
"I could actually go for some French food." Vash added.
"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Mikeru screamed.
It was time for their first challenge - DINNER.