Somewhere in the beautiful virgin forest of the Amazon, Rio di Janeiro, a flock of untold birds dwell therein. With feathers the color of the heavens above, voices like tinkling bells, and wings that shame the wind—it was no wonder that every species have gone after them, resulting in their clan residing in the forest.

The Spix Macaws—presumably extinct until the year 2010. Supposedly the rarest, most beautiful birds of all...

...until some good-for-nothing (yes, in my perspective) swooped in.

It was no other than the most sought-out bird of no other species, with a name which made every other bird either tremble in fear or their eyes light up in idolization. Or in a single bird's case, cringe in disgust.

Mary Oehphilaea Twilight Halo Emerald Rainbow Feyonnah Uchiha Coven Konohakagure Inoyamanaka Near Gafcomics Baymaxine Island Tiara Crystal Hamada Arminissokawaii Sunlight Starr Mello Unicorn Sassmaster Tsunade Deidara Imagay Erza Naruto Oppagangnamstyle Willows! Trivia says that what you read is just one fourth of her name. Oh, and how even more amazing when each first letter of her name is abbreviated!

M. O. T. H. E. R. F. U. C. K. I. N. G. B. I. T. C. H. A. S. S. M. U. S. T. D. I. E. N. O. W! Yes, Motherfucking Bitch Must Die Now! Rot in hell, ostentatious bastard...

The most powerful being in the world—especially as shapeshifter (this bird is just one of her forms), the adopted daughter of Zelda and Link, the most powerful wizard, the wife of Legolas, the superior Kage of All Elements, the Wielder of the Death Note, the Tamer of Titans, the Alpha wolf, the new leader of the Big Hero 6...or 7, the strongest of the ghouls, the daughter of Odin and Gaea (wtf?!), the most powerful Jedi in history, the Holder of the Geass, the Master of Kamehameha, and many others. OMG! (Why Lord...I broke my solemn oath to never say the becursed abbreviation...)

Against the rising sun, her immaculate rainbow feathers shamed it in her sparkly glory. Her eyes, the left gold and silver, and the right eye with a mix of Tenseigan and Rinnegan, glowing with power and beauty. Her wings of a great span, made of every single element and blade, and her gloriously polished peacock tail feathers, oh my! No wonder she was classified as the most beautiful bird in history. And her oh-so beautiful, curled locks which weren't common in any bird, but hey! It's in the power of MOTHERFUCKING BITCH ASS MUST DIE NOW!, right? Her beautiful onyx beak which produces a tinkling voice that broke hearts within a 110-kilometer vicinity, along with her curvalicious, busty figure. Oh, what did she miss? Yes...another pair of wings—the demonic bat wings which were still beautiful anyways, with the flaming fires of Satan and the merciful fire of angels combined!

Ah, what a sight to see...perhaps it will be worth seeing if we all drink peroxide and stab our eyes out...

As Mary Sue (I'll call her that) perched on a beautiful blossom tree with her graceful golden legs, she sang a song so beautiful, it broke their hearts.

Then another bird, a male Spix, perched atop the same branch next to her, and gasped. "My, oh my! Isn't your voice and appearance so beautiful? No other bird I behold could be like you!"

"Oh, really? B-but it only took me an hour to practice singing! I'm shy!" Mary Sue said, blushing gold, only making her even more beautiful.

The Spix male gave her a look of concern. "Oh, no, no! Not true, fellow bird! More beautiful than the tinkling of bells and the choral angels above, nothing can ever compare to you!"

He then smiled. "What is your name, mi señora?"

Mary Sue opened her beak, "My name? Oh, it's Mary Oehphilaea Twilight Halo Emerald Rainbow Feyonnah Uchiha Coven Konohakagure Inoyamanaka Near Gafcomics Baymaxine Island Tiara Crystal Hamada Arminissokawaii Sunlight Starr Mello Unicorn Sassmaster Tsunade Deidara Imagay Erza Naruto Oppagangnamstyle Willows, señor Roberto."

The flamboyant Spix jawdropped. "How did you know my name?"

"Oh, you see, I have many great powers. Reading minds, for instance."

That was when a tough, deep female voice appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, hell no..."