Uh-oh, we're in trouble!

by Scandiadream

Clef's intuition says something is wrong...find out what it is!

Uh-oh, we're in trouble!

A Magic Knight Rayearth parody fic

by Scandiadream scandiadream@hotmail.com

Rated- PG-13 Mature situations implied, possible profanity.

This is a strictly parody fic and does not take place in the continuum of the story or
my fanfics. It could be a dream someone had, or just a crazy thought on my part.
It took me a while to figure out how to conclude it. Anyway, enjoy!

Part I

"Sister?"
Ferio woke up suddenly. He did not remember what he had been dreaming, but
something told him "Your sister" in his dreams.
Ferio decided to go get a drink of water, when he saw his older cousin Clef pacing
nervously like a lion across the hall.
"You ok Clef? You had a nightmare?"
"My intuition has been bugging me all evening." Clef told Ferio.
"What's wrong?"
"That's the problem. I cannot figure out what. I have a hunch that something terrible is
going on, but I have no idea what it could be."
"Clef, you could use a drink You are just too frantic."
"You are right."

Clef and Ferio dressed up quickly and exited to go to Alcyone's bar.
"Oh my goodness. I had never seen Cephiro be so beautiful. This night is just
spectacular. Look at the stars- they shine so brightly." Ferio said gleefully.
"Exactly" Clef replied in a nervous tone. "In my 745 years of life, I had never seen a
night this beautiful."
"You sound as if it were something bad." Ferio said
"For some reason, it is giving me the creeps" Clef stated.
"Why, do you think this could be an apocalyptic sign?"
"I have never read anything saying that a beautiful night would be a sign of armageddon.
But I fear something worse could be going on."
"Well, if Cephiro is so beautiful, that means my sister's heart must be very happy."
"Your sister!" Clef exclaimed. "What could be making her so happy?"
"Relax, Clef, if she is happy, everything is fine."
"I am not so sure about that." Clef said to himself.

"Hi Clef!" Presea gave Clef a quick hug.
"Hi Clef!" Caldina said in singsong.
"Hi Guru Clef" Alcyone grumbled from behind the bar
"What's up Alcyone? You don't sound happy?" Clef and Ferio inquired.
"My cauldron is bubbling. Which means that one of the men that I have crushes on is
giving himself tonight to another woman." Alcyone whined.
"Who?" Ferio wondered.
"How should she know? She has crushes on ten guys!" Clef joked, trying to forget about
his worries.
"Eleven. Today I saw the buffest hunk at the gym." Alcyone said.
"Well, Alcyone, if this cheers you up, she's training him for you. You don't want an
inexperienced virgin of a dude, don't you?" Caldina asked.
"I could have trained him for her. I am the most experienced in town." Alcyone bragged.
"But guess he preferred her over me."
Presea could not help but notice that Clef was nervous.

:"Hello everyone! Hi Caldina!" LaFarge said as he entered the bar.
"Hi Caldina, I brought you some flowers!" LaFarge said as he handed his companion a
bouquet of pretty red flowers in full bloom.
"Thank you sweetie." Caldina gave LaFarge a big kiss on the lips. "Where did you buy
flowers at this hour of the night?"
"Oh I picked them up." LaFarge said without realizing something wasn't coherent.
"Hey wait a second, aren't flowers supposed to be closed at night?" Presea said.
"You are correct, if I remember well. But all the flowers were blooming." LaFarge
scratched his head.
"Yup, it's a very pretty night outside. Yet for some reason, Clef seems to be freaked out
about it." Ferio said.
"Anyway, what are you doing outside? Aren't you supposed to be guarding the palace?"
Caldina asked him.
"Princess Emeraude gave me the night off actually. She said I had worked so well that I
deserved to take a break." LaFarge said naively.
"She gave you the night off? But why?" Clef asked, surprised. If LaFarge had a day of the
week off, why would Emeraude give him an extra one for no reason?
"She seemed very happy. But don't worry, I still did my job. I sliced a monster that was
sitting on a tree limb. It was a weird monster- it did not attack me, it just sat there."
"LaFarge, that monster was born out of MY fears." Clef said with certainty.
"YOUR fears? But you have the third strongest heart in Cephiro. What would YOU be
afraid of?" Presea asked Clef while rubbing his back.
"What did that monster look like?" Clef asked LaFarge.
"It was a beast with two backs."
"Exactly what I was fearing." Clef said, now even more nervous than before.

"Excuse me Clef, but how can a monster have two backs? I learned in Biology class that
an organism has a dorsal side, the back, and a ventral side, the front. It cannot have two
backs." Ferio said, in complete disbelief.
"Monsters take the shape of your fears. Yet a beast with two backs would be really inept
at attacking." Alcyone added.
"And it was. It did not bug me at all." LaFarge said.
"So why would your fears take such a biologically impossible shape?" Presea asked.
"You don't wanna know." Clef's suspicions were increasing.

"Hey, what are you guys doing partying without me?" Ascot said as he entered the bar.
"Hey little brother, did we wake you up?" Caldina asked. Her house was right next to the
bar.
"Not really. A weird dream woke me up, then I heard you guys." Ascot replied.
"What was the dream about? Was it a nightmare?" Clef asked, looking nervous.
"Not exactly a nightmare. Just plain bizarre."
"Tell us more about it."
"Well, there was this tall white column."
"A column?" Now Clef grew more nervous, while the rest of the gang was trying to
figure out why. "What happened to the column?"
"It was white, but then it turned red."
"WHAT!" Clef began hyperventilating. "How, what, who turned it red?"
"Some sort of mythological creature." Ascot said, trying to remember.
"Whoa, maybe you dreamed of the monster that I killed. But why would that monster
want to paint a column red?" LaFarge asked his little friend.
"I wouldn't call it a monster or even a beast, since it was the most beautiful creature I
had ever seen. And it did not paint the column red. The column just turned red
somehow." Ascot said, wondering why would Clef be so anxious about a dream.
"What did this creature look like?" Clef asked while placing his hands on Ascot's
shoulders.
"Well, if I remember correctly, it had a large wingspan, and a very beautiful white face,
and..."
"Long jet-black hair and deep blue eyes?" Clef and Ascot said simultaneously.
"Yeah! So you've seen one of those! Where can I find one?" Ascot said.
"NOOOOOO! This can't be! WHY?" Clef said exasperatedly while burying his face in
his hands and almost crying.
"Clef, why in the world are you so worried about some monster graffitting the library?
Hey, I'll take care of it now!" LaFarge asked Clef, not having a clue of what was going
on in Clef's mind.
"No you moron, it's the art museum that has the columns. Imagine if a monster were
trying to destroy the precious art treasures of Cephiro." Alcyone said.
"It's worse than that! It's worse than that! And there's only one way to find out for sure!"
Clef yelled and ran outside.

The gang followed him, wondering what in the world was horrifying Clef so much.
"What does my dream have to do with anything else? It is just a dream!" Ascot
wondered.
"Well, the night is pretty because my sister must be very happy. And Clef does not seem
to like that for some reason." Ferio added.
"Clef may be the man I love, but he sure has his idiosyncracies." Presea shrugged her
shoulders.
"Actually, he may have a reason. And I suspect what it is." Caldina interjected.
"No wonder you are so nervous, Clef. Is that what you fear, that Emeraude is getting
high?" Caldina asked the Guru.
"Getting high? What the heck is that?" Presea and LaFarge asked at the same time.
"Well, getting high. Getting stoned. Going on a trip." Caldina mentioned synonyms, yet
noticed that her friends had no idea what she was talking about.
"Getting high is using a substance, such as opium or hallucinogenic mushrooms in order
to induce a state of euphoria." Caldina explained.
"So maybe that's why she dismissed me for tonight. So that I would not see the
getting-high-substance being delivered or her reaction. But then, I have no idea how
something like that would look like, since I had never heard of it until now." LaFarge
said, confused.
"Look Caldina, I am older than you, more experienced than you, and have friends in low
places, yet in my life had I heard of getting high. So I doubt that is what's going on."
Alcyone stated.
"And I doubt that Emeraude is doing that. She knows better. She has never even gotten
drunk with us." Presea added.
"Well, you are kinda right, I did not remember about getting high till now. I have been in
Cephiro for 21 years now and I had not heard anyone talking about that. But still,
Emeraude could have found out about it. Is that what you fear, Clef?" Caldina asked.
"Caldina, I would be GREATLY RELIEVED if what Emeraude were doing was 'getting
high' instead of what I fear." Clef said.
"What could be worse than getting high?" several members wondered at once.

Alcyone noticed that Clef was heading towards the royal palace, rather than the library or
art museum, which were the places people thought were in trouble. No monsters were to
be seen around the palace. On the contrary, everything looked more beautiful and happy
than ever.
"Hey Clef, where are we going?" Ferio asked his cousin. Clef was leading them into a tall
tower in the west wing of the palace.
"Please, don't let it be what I am thinking. Please, if I have ever meant anything to you,
please don't let it be what I fear is happening." Clef said, every time more fearful.
Clef opened one door with a key, then another one with his magic staff, then recited a
spell to open a third one. He took a deep breath, covered his eyes, and used his ring to
open the fourth one. He opened his eyes and took a look at what would reveal the truth to
him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Clef screamed.

****

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

****

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Clef screamed again, then fainted.

****

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

****

"Clef, Clef, you all right? You fainted!" Presea asked Clef after giving him smelling
salts.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, then it is true." Clef was crying and screaming in
horror.
"Clef, would you mind explaining to the rest of us what's going on? I am afraid we are
lost." Presea asked her friend.
"The white rose of Cephiro has turned red." Clef stated, trembling.
"And that means?" everyone asked indifferently.
"That the pillar, Princess Emeraude, IS NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!!!!!!!!"

"Say what? Are you sure, Clef?" Presea asked, in disbelief.
"The rose does not lie." Clef said, shaking his head.
"No, that cannot be right. I know Emeraude well. Cows don't give wine, grapes don't
give milk, and Emeraude is still a virgin."
"I am sorry Alcyone, but she is not anymore." Clef said, in tears.
Ferio noticed that LaFarge had not drawn his sword nor started screaming. Rather, he was
standing in silence, looking as if he were thinking.
"Well, I find that as hard to believe as the rest of you. But I guess our friend is getting
some sa-tis-fac-tion!" Caldina said in a provocative tone.
"Caldina, you are not making this any better." Clef was now pounding on the floor.
"Is Emeraude gonna be in trouble?" Ascot wondered out loud.
"Not as much trouble as the rest of us will be." Clef said while managing to stand up.
"Sister how could you? How could you? How could you?" Ferio said in tears, while
stomping on the floor.
Clef approached Ferio and whispered to him "I am afraid it was inevitable".

But Clef did not whisper it low enough...
"Inevitable?" Caldina asked.
"Is there something we should know?" Alcyone added.
"It is not inevitable. It is not automatic, and this does NOT make any sense." a still calm
LaFarge said.
"What makes no sense to you?" Clef snapped at him.
"We are forgetting a very important detail. The fact that it takes two." LaFarge said,
completely confused.
"Well yeah." Clef said sarcastically.
"The question we should be asking ourselves is not why, nor how, nor what if, but
WHO?" LaFarge seemed a bit more tense than before, but was still relatively stable.
"Who else?" Clef yelled at LaFarge while spreading his arms open.
LaFarge tossed an inquiring look at Caldina, whose look replied "your guess is as good as
mine".
"No clue" LaFarge stated.
"Long jet-black hair, deep blue eyes" Clef said, while making a gesture as if he we were
tossing back long hair.
LaFarge immediately figured out it was NOT a monster.
"PRETTY BOY DIES TONIGHT!" LaFarge yelled while drawing his sword and trying
to storm out the door.
"If you dare hurt Zagato, my sister will kill all of us then pray for the complete
destruction of Cephiro." Ferio said, stopping LaFarge.

The Pillar could not be taken against her will. And she could not be seduced either- in
fact, she could seduce him. Yet this was not that, but instead, the mutual pledging of
eternal love to each other. Which, in Clef's opinion, was even worse.

"LaFarge- remember our first night together? It was the most beautiful night of our lives.
Please let them enjoy theirs." Caldina said. She didn't seem to care about the
consequences of this.
"I can't. I can't."
"Well everyone, we might as well go to sleep. There's nothing we can do. We'll find out
more about this tomorrow.

On the way back to their bedrooms, Clef and Ferio had to pass a window. They looked at
the sky and saw a mega meteor shower followed immediately by a supernova bursting.
"I do not want to know what that means." Clef said.
"Me either." Ferio said.

Part II- Oops, I did it again!

"Caldina"
"Morning sweetheart"
"Please say it was all just a dream, and that our virgin princess is waking up alone to pray
for Cephiro".
"Sorry LaFarge, but it was not a dream, she's not a virgin anymore, and she's waking up
in the arms of the man she loves." Caldina said, as if it didn't make a big difference to
her.
"ARGH! As soon as I left, Pretty Boy entered!" LaFarge was pulling his hair.
"Literally!" Caldina cracked.
"What a nightmare!"
"No, what a gossip!"
"Caldina, please, don't tell anyone, much less make it the gossip du jour."
"Don't worry, my cousins will probably tell me enough Chizeta gossip".
"I was not able to tell what she was planning to do. Had I been able to, I would have
talked her out of it."
"I was not able to either, and womyn are very sensitive to that. Plus she told us absolutely
nothing. So please don't feel bad."

Clef woke up with a mega headache.
"Maybe some food will help."
Clef descended to eat his breakfast. Ferio was already at the table having a feast.
"You ok Clef?"
"My head hurts"
"Will some aspirin help?"
"I don't think so."
Ferio and Clef saw Zagato descending the stairs. That meant that he was coming from his
room and not from the Princess' chambers in the first floor. But it was 8AM already, so
he could have just as well gone to his room and changed.
"Good morning everyone" Zagato greeted Clef and Ferio happily. Ferio tried to be
discreet, but Clef launched him a look that could kill.
"If looks could kill, you would be a firing squad Clef."
"Um, don't listen to him, he woke up with a killer headache" Ferio tried to reduce
suspicion. "Anyway, I have to get going to school now. Bye!"

Ferio tried to run out the door, but instead he ran into his older sister. Emeraude was
indeed in her adult form, which would not have surprised anyone usually, but Ferio
feared what was going on. And indeed she looked different- she had a megawatt smile
that Ferio had never seen before.

"Good morning little brother! Don't worry, you are not late for school!" Emeraude said
in a very cheerful voice.
"I, er, forgot my homework and will do it in school! See you later sister!"

"I should have noticed. There are only 3 things that can make a person that euphoric.
Well, four, including what Caldina said about 'getting up'" Alcyone moped to Presea.
"Getting high" Presea said
"Anyway, the first one of those things would be getting high. I am older and wiser than
anyone here and I know more people than the rest of you, yet I had never heard of it, so it
couldn't be that. The second one would be alcohol- and she can go drinking with us any
time she wants, so why would she want to get drunk alone? The third one is shopping-
and I don't mean buying things by catalog or on the phone. Only mall ratting would do,
and it was not that. And the fourth one is sex. Yet I just could not picture Emeraude
having sex."
"Alcyone, we did not know the most important detail- that she and Zagato were in love
with each other."
"But still, my cauldron bubbled and I have a mega crush on him"
"And on ten other guys. You had no way to know it was him, much less that he was with
her."
"True. But I should have been able to tell. Sex is my specialty."
"I was not able to tell either. Don't worry girlfriend."

In school, Ferio was not his usual hyper self. On the contrary, he looked bummed all the
time and was not paying attention nor talking.
"Hey Ferio, guess what! The Rolling Stones are coming to Cephiro!"
"Fine, I'll wear earplugs!" Ferio replied.
Ferio's friend touched his forehead to check if the prince had a fever. Ferio loved the
Rolling Stones and would usually get very excited about it.
"Ferio, it's ok if you stayed out partying last night. But remember you are in school now"
the teacher said.
"Fine" Ferio tried doing his work, but it was obvious that he was not happy.

"You okay dude?" Ascot asked his friend during recess.
"Nope"
"Is it because of last night?"
"You bet."
"Well, I'm here for you, if you need me."
"Thanks buddy."

"Ferio, you sure don't seem to be all right. Would you like me to talk to your sister? She
can pray any troubles away."
"No thanks. She has more important things to take care of."
"What could be more important than the happiness of her people?" the puzzled teacher
asked.
"You don't wanna know." Ferio thought.

Ferio came back from school around 3PM. Less than 5 minutes after he entered his room
to change out of his uniform, the phone rang.
"Ferio?"
"Lantis?"
"Please say it is not so! Please please please, say it ain't so!"
"I am sorry Lantis, but it is so."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
two voices screamed at each other on the phone.
"My stupid brother!"
"No, my stupid sister!"
"We are not gunna become uncles, right?"
"Don't worry. Remember that in Cephiro your will determines everything."
"Good, cause the last thing we need is evidence of this terrible sin."
"I know"

"Hi cousin!"
"Tatra! Tarta! My dear royal cousins! What's up?" Caldina talked to her cousins on the
phone.
"You'll never guess what gossip has formed in Chizeta!" Tatra said
"Probably not worse that what's going on in Cephiro" Caldina thought.
"Anyway- guess what! This tycoon's wife dumped him after she caught him in bed with
another woman!" Tarta said.
"Ooooh!" Caldina was interested and forgot about the princess-pretty boy situation.
"But that was just the excuse she used to dump him. Cause she herself had been having
an affair with some model ten years her junior!"
"I had not heard about that at all!" Caldina said.
"Holy cow what a gossip, don't you think?"
"Oh yeah. It will be tonight's gossip du jour."
LaFarge, who had just walked into the room, breathed a sigh of relief.

"LaFarge, if you see anything out of the ordinary today, please don't do anything about
it." Emeraude told LaFarge.
"You mean I should not kill any monsters?" he wondered out loud, confused.
"Oh, do keep watching out for monsters. And if you want to go outside, the better. And
please don't tell anyone."
"Who would I tell?"
"Nobody. Thank you."
LaFarge noticed that Emeraude looked very very happy. The same smile of satisfaction
that Caldina gave him.

LaFarge was doing one of his rounds when he saw Zagato headed in the direction of the
Princess' chambers. Zagato did not see him, though. Then LaFarge remembered what
Emeraude had told him.
"So it is true! Pretty boy IS screwing the princess!" LaFarge gasped. He did not know if to
do something about it or not. So he just headed toward the dance club where Caldina was
working.

Rather than confronting his sister, Ferio just watched the skies to see if last night would
be repeated. And it did. Shortly after everyone in the palace was asleep (or at least
Emeraude thought that everyone was asleep), the stars began getting bright and the
flowers bloomed. Part of Ferio was happy that his sister finally made her wish come true,
and part of him was ashamed, because she was the Pillar and could not belong to any
man.

"Hopefully, Clef won't find out. I'll go distract him."
But when Ferio entered Clef's room he saw that his older cousin was convulsing and
having seizures.
"Oh joy Clef, have you developed epilepsy?"
"No you twerp. I am on Mokonavision, spying on your sister. Every time she, well you
know, I convulse. This is my second one actually."

A few hours later, in fact it was the next day now,
"According to my biology textbook, my sister and Zagato are breaking all the laws of
physiology. Nobody can last that long."
Yeppers, Clef had just had his final convulsion.
"Remember, in Cephiro your will determines everything. But we have to make sure this
does not happen again. Or at least not tomorrow."

How will Clef accomplish that? Find out in part III of "Uh-oh, we're in trouble!"

Part III- Gotcha!

RING! Emeraude's phone rang.
"Saved by the bell" Clef thought. He could not help but suspect the worst of what could
be going on in the Pillar chamber, even though the day seemed normal so far.

"Hello?" Emeraude answered
"Ladies, I just got back from the doctor, and guess what I found out!" It was Presea. She
was talking to Emeraude, Caldina, and Alcyone at the same time.
"What is it, what is it, what is it?" Caldina asked exitedly.
"I overheard that Baron New Yorker is sterile!" Presea said.
"So in other words, Fifth Avenue cannot be his kid!" Emeraude said, suddenly paying
attention to the conversation instead of what (or should I say who) she usually thought of.
"And Madame Chrysler must have had a lover back then! I did not know about that at
all!" Alcyone said.
"Holy cow, what a gossip!" Caldina giggled.
"The mess that's gunna form!" Presea added.
"Do I have to pray it away?" Emeraude asked.
"It's not like you have anything better to do, or do you?" Alcyone probed.
"Um, well, I guess not."

"I wonder who Fifth Avenue's real father is then" Emeraude said after hanging up.
"Hey it wasn't me!" Zagato said defensively
"Honey, Fifth Avenue is 17. You just turned 25. Of course it's not you!" Emeraude said
while caressing his kilometric hair, which was untied now.

Meanwhile at the Cephiro Academy
"Hey Ascot, do you mind if I do my homework at your house? I don't feel like going
home- Clef is a mess and I don't wanna know what my sister is up to."
"Sure Ferio. Now cheer up. 'See if you listen carefully. Such a sweet melody...'" Ascot
began singing "Three O'Clock Fairy".
"The three o'clock fairies are coming for us!" Ferio joined his singing.

The two buddies were still singing loudly when they entered Ascot's house. But they
realized they were not alone!
"Oops, sounds like Caldina and Lafarge are busy" Ascot said. It was not the first time he
and Ferio had overheard them.
"Are you sure that's them?" Ferio asked. And he had a reason to ask- they did not sound
like their usual selves.
"Where did Caldina get all those big words?" Ascot wondered.
"Shhhh, I think they are imitating my sister and Zagato." Ferio suspected.
"What makes you say that?" Ascot said innocently.
"Ooooh, my beloved, your kilometric hair is like the dark night" they heard Caldina's
voice, using a more refined tone than usual.
"And you, my sweet princess, my jewel, my star of the heavens, the flower of my heart."
LaFarge tried to string too many metaphors in one sentence.
"See?" Ferio looked at Ascot. Ascot could not help but blush.

"Presea, are you by any chance going shopping today?" Clef asked his girlfriend.
"Did you say shopping? Cool!"
"Then take the ladies shopping. That means your three best friends."
"Why?" Presea was not sure why would Clef ask her to go shopping with her friends.
"We have to prevent what went on last night and the previous night. And if you take
Emeraude shopping and then clubbing, she may be too tired. Maybe she'll even forget
about it."
"I doubt it Clef, but I'll give it a try."

"We know we like to party!" Caldina said as Emeraude opened her door.
"We're going shopping and then clubbing!" Presea said.
"And YOU are coming with us." Alcyone added, trying to persuade Emeraude.
"I can't." Emeraude said.
"Why?" Caldina asked. Alcyone nudged her.
"There's no "I can't". You're coming with us. It's been a while since we've hung out. It's
girls night out, and we're staying up till the break of dawn." Alcyone said.
"What could be more fun than shopping and dancing?" Presea asked.
Emeraude chuckled, but then realized that she could not let anyone know or suspect what
was on her mind.
"Fine, I guess I'll go." Emeraude was trying to keep things incognito.
"Then change, cause we're headed out now." Alcyone said.

"My darling, I wish I were with you now, but we cannot let anybody suspect that we are
now one."
"I understand. I'll miss you too. Please don't worry about me. Have a lot of fun, and I
will see you tomorrow. I love you."
"I love you too."

The girls headed towards the Cephiro megamall.
"Try to get the truth out of Emeraude. Remember, unless she explicitly says so, we don't
have any proof."
"We'll try."
"Just be discreet. We don't want her to know that we saw the rose turn red."
"Fine"
Presea had a flashback to a few years ago, when Emeraude had asked them if there was a
way to tell that a woman was a virgin. While Alcyone mentioned several ways, Presea
and Caldina said there was none.

"Princess Emeraude!". Two little girls ran towards Emeraude while at the mall.
"Hi Mira. Hi Calla."
"You look different, Princess."
"I do?" Emeraude asked, a bit nervous.
"Yeah, she does, doesn't she?" Alcyone said in a sorta accusatory mode.
"I know why!" one of the little girls said. "You're wearing your hair in a braid! You
usually have it down."
"Yep, that's why. But you still look pretty! Bye Princess". The little girls kept running
thru the mall.
Emeraude sighed in relief.
"I told you there's no way to tell" Presea nudged Alcyone
"Don't worry, we'll investigate more. By the time we return home, she'll have
confessed".

The ladies sat down to have dinner.
"OK, I've got a game. Things worse than studying." Alcyone said. She had been out of
school for years, so nobody suspected what she was up to, especially Emeraude.
"Me first! I say- going to the dentist!" Caldina said.
"Nah, I think that getting a bad sunburn is worse." Presea added
"The worst thing I can think of would be: passing a long tube through your ears and
inside your nose. What could be more painful than that?" Emeraude asked.
"Sadomasochism with a large-genitaled monster!" Alcyone shrugged.
"EWWWWWWWWWW!" the four girls said at the same time.
"Have you really fucked a monster?" Caldina asked.
"No, but if it were a really handsome one..." Alcyone said smiling
"Whatever happened to saving yourself for the person you truly love, so that you can
bond deeply with each other and finally express your love in the most sublime way?"
Emeraude said.
"And how do you know so much about that?" Alcyone got accusatory again.
"I read a lot." Emeraude said confidently. So sure of herself was she, that the ladies
would have believed her had they not known the truth.
"Now things better than studying. I say sex!" Alcyone said.
"Can't challenge that. Sex." Caldina said.
"Nothing else. Sex." Presea said.
As much as Emeraude would have liked to agree, she knew she could not admit it. So she
joked: "Too many things to count".
"We are not making any progress" Presea thought.

After closing the mall, the four friends headed towards the club.
"Yo baby, whatsup?" Some guy tried to pick up Emeraude by putting his arm around her.
"EEEEEK!" Emeraude jumped towards the roof. "Get your hands off me!"
"Oops! Sorry Princess! My apologies. I did not recognize you. I know that nobody can
have you."

"That's the only way I could tell if a person has done it or not. And it is not foolproof.
Now we are more lost than before." Caldina said.
"You know, even I used to cringe like that when I was a virgin a very long time ago."
Alcyone said.
"And if it were an ugly guy who hit on her, I would understand. But that was a hunkster!"
Presea said.
"Did you say hunk?" Alcyone said. She hurried towards the guy. "The Princess may be
taken, but I am not"
"Today's my lucky day!" the fellow said, not wondering what Alcyone really meant by
the Princess being unavailable.
"I have to admit he's fine! What does Pretty Boy have that he does not?"
"Our friend's heart." Presea did not mind it as much as Clef did.

"Hey DJ, that music's too lame! Play something sexier!" Alcyone yelled at the disc
jockey.
"Sure baby, anything for you!" The DJ acceded to Alcyone's request, without knowing
what she was plotting.
"Count with me" Alcyone whispered to Caldina and Presea.
"Count?" the two more innocent girls weren't sure what Alcyone meant. They would
soon find out.
The DJ started playing "Virtual Star Embryology" from Utena
"Couldn't have picked a better one." Alcyone thought. "Hey Emeraude, Caldina, Presea,
get in the line with me!"
Even though Alcyone was uninhibited enough to dance sexy with any of the guys in the
club, she had her own little plan.

"OH MY GOSH! She's got the thrusts and the rhythm completely right!" a bewildered
Caldina exclaimed after having danced to the super sexy song.
"No pure and innocent virgin could have gotten that right. She's definitely gotten laid."
Alcyone said confidently. "Compare this to how klutzy she was last time we tried
dancing to this song."
"Still, we cannot have any proof until she admits it explicitly. There's no way I am gunna
ask her directly." Presea said.
"Me either" Caldina added.

Two male figures entered the club.
"Little brothers!"
"Whatcha doing here this late?"

"Hey, it's Friday. Hey sister, I brought you something you will like!" Ferio said teasingly.
Apparently he and Ascot were sent there by Clef also.
"What is it, what is it, what is it?" Emeraude asked while jumping gleefully. An innocent
bystander would have suspected she simply drank too much.
"Chocolate cake!" Ferio said while showing a huge slice of the confection.
"Yummy!" Emeraude seemed so happy and hungry at the cake, that nobody noticed the
look of disappointment in her eyes.

A few hours later...

"Clef, I'm afraid we've failed. Emeraude has not come anywhere near admitting the
truth"
"That's ok Presea. At least we prevented this disaster tonight."
"Hopefully she's exhausted enough"

"Hey, wanna sleep over here?" Emeraude asked the ladies. Her three friends were way
too drunk and tired to walk to their houses.
"There's NO way I am sleeping in the same bed where a man was last night" Presea
thought. But instead she said "Sure" and sat on one of the couches in Emeraude's
bedroom.
"Me either" Caldina thought, as if she had read Presea's mind. She sat on another couch.
"Oooh, sleeping in the same bed where the guy I want and can't have was last night! But
on the other hand, she may try and kiss me or worse, forgetting it is really me who is
there." Alcyone thought and lied down on an easy chair.

"Good night Emeraude" the ladies said, surrendered.
"Good night sisters! And by the way, the answer is: YES, and it feels WONDERFUL".

*****