Cross My Heart
Tris was gone. It had taken him months, but he'd accepted it. It was exactly what she would do; she would never have regretted it. How could he hate her for being herself? He'd been so angry at first, at her, at Caleb, at Matthew, but mostly at himself. The 'What if's followed from that. What if he'd been better to her? What if he had been there? What if he'd let her know how much she was worth. Maybe she wouldn't have given her life. But he knows she would. Once she made her mind up there was no changing it. She was so giving; Abnegation and Dauntless together made her a deadly combination. Deadly for herself that is, constantly trying to give her life for others. Well she'd finally managed.
But anyway, he'd forgiven her. Now all he wanted was for her sacrifice to be worthwhile and remembered for all eternity. He would never believe that anything was worth her life, but obviously she disagreed. She'd made her choice and now he had to support it, like he should have done when she was alive.
Today was the anniversary of her death. It was a big holiday now in Chicago, everybody had the day off work and there were street parties and everyone was enjoying themselves. Everyone except those who knew her, those who had loved her. The wounds were still too raw for them to celebrate on the day of her death, maybe in years time they would. Maybe they would look back on her life with happiness over her achievements, rather than mourning her death. Tobias wanted to start today. He would never move on, never forget her, but he had to carry on with his life. Otherwise, he would be wasting her sacrifice and that was something that he couldn't allow to happen.
His friends were trying so hard to distract him, especially today. They wouldn't allow him to mope in his room, insisting that he got a job and did something with his life. He was so glad that he had them, they were all he had now and he needed their support more than ever. Today they were going to get tattoos. Him and Zeke. They had become closer than ever before. Zeke understood how much he hated this day, as he felt the same way. Zeke had hated Four; he blamed him for Uriah's death. Four had promised he'd keep his little brother safe, and then it turned out that he was helping those that killed him. But after he saw his friend's devastation over the death of Uriah, and even more so Tris, he had forgiven the man who was practically his brother.
They walked to the tattoo parlour in silence. Tori gave them a sad smile when they entered. Zeke had his tattoo done first. He got a small snake tattooed behind his ear, one that matched the one his brother had in the same place.
"You know, I gave him that tattoo." Tori remarked wistfully. Zeke didn't reply.
When it was Four's turn to get his tattoo done, he refused to let Zeke know what he was getting. He whispered what he wanted into Tori's ear, and Zeke saw her eyes fill with tears. When it was done, he quickly covered it up with his shirt and left the tattoo parlour, leaving payment for the tattoo on the counter as he left.
He managed to hide the tattoo from his friends for the next two weeks, never letting them see what he had written across his heart. Christina finally got fed up of waiting and demanded to see it. Four sighed; he knew he'd have to show them at some point, he couldn't hide it forever. He led her back to the apartment he used to share with Tris and pulled his shirt off.
Written right across his heart were two large roman numerals.
VI
"She will always be in my heart." He mumbled looking down at the ground. Christina pulled him close for a tight hug. The two of them cried together for the girl that they'd both loved in different ways. They both knew how it felt to lose Tris.
Together they helped each other to heal. Christina knew how it felt to lose the one you loved, having lost Will, and she was also hurting from the death of Tris. They supported each other through the bad times and were there together to celebrate the good. Eventually Christina found a boyfriend, a nice guy named Harry. She had used to live next door to him when they both lived in Candor. They married and had two children and Tobias became a part of their family, like an honorary uncle. She constantly tried to set him up with girls but he explained that he just didn't see them anymore, just compared them to the girl he had lost, so she gave up.
His life was happy and he never felt alone. He knew that he would meet Tris again. Someday.