Van and Hitomi have arrived at Castle Dornkirk because Van has vowed to kill Dornkirk and Dilandau. Support troops (ie. Allen Chasair and company) were coming but Van and Hitomi got there first because they took Escaflowne. Confronting Dornkirk was easy after destroying some 'obstacles' on the way.

"Van, before you say that I shouldn't have come remember that Dornkirk can't see the future when I'm with you." Hitomi said.

"So, you know. It must have been that power of yours. Well, there are ways to separate the two of you." Dornkirk grinned sinisterly.

"No one is going to take Hitomi away from me. I've promised to protect her." Van drew his sword to shield her.

Dornkirk chuckled, "The dragon is determined." he paused, "I'll give you that."

Hitomi put her hand on Van's shoulder, "Put away your sword, he's only trying to get you mad."

Van thought about her words for a moment then reluctantly put his sword back into the scabbard.

All along Dornkirk looked quite amused.

"You have a strange sense of humour." Hitomi addressed Dornkirk ruefully.

"Really boy, you shouldn't let your guard down so easily..." Dornkirk ignored Hitomi.

"What do you mean? All of your soldiers are gone and we have backup coming!" Van exclaimed.

"Oh on the contrary Van!" A voice erupted from behind them.

Just as Hitomi and Van turned around a sword rose to meet Van's neck. "Dilandau!" Hitomi gasped.

"Well, well! It looks like you're dead!" Dilandau screamed insanely.

"Van!!!" Hitomi grabbed Dilandau's arm to stop him.

Dilandau throw her back with ease and Hitomi fell back wards. "Now, now girl. Don't get any ideas! You'll get your turn!" Dilandau returned his craze to Van who's expression was more angry then frightened.

"You're a maniac." Van stood unfazed . At this Dilandau cackled again complementing Van's words.

A stampede of footsteps was growing louder and voices were heard. Allen and his troops finally appeared. "You weren't quick enough Allen Chasair." Dilandau laughed wickedly once again.

This angered him so he ordered his soldiers to draw their swords. Hitomi covered her ears in disgust from the high-pitched velocity of his girlish cackly squeal.

CAUTION!

From here on out this story turns to a whole other world with absolutely no point.

Authoress' note: I tried to warned you, but you didn't listen. So, don't come running to me when you get hurt. It's your own fault!

A blue light that was all too familiar pierced through the ceiling. Out of nowhere a sword flew down and hit Allen in the head, blunt end, rendering him unconscious.

A voice was then heard from above, "Where'd it go?"

A second voice answered, "I dropped it."

"Well, we've gotta go get it." the first voice responded.

"Well fine. But you're coming with me!"a pause as two beautiful girls with wings of gold out stretched appeared. One had light brown hair and the other had pitch black hair and both had cleavage & clear blue eyes.

Meanwhile Allen's troops were poking his outstretched body for any sign of life. (Luckily there was none for the time being)

"Oopsy-wooopsy." The brown haired girl smiled.

"Way to go butter-fingers." the black haired one said.

"Who the hell?" Dilandau dropped his sword at the sight, "Not more winged freaks!" He stuttered.

"What! FREAKS!!!!" The black haired girl asked in a rage.

"Who are you to call us freaks - You HE-SHE!!!" The brown haired girl put in.

Allen sat while rubbing his head. "What's going on?" he asked in a stunned state.

"Hey sis, got anymore swords?" the black haired girl asked.

"I am the goddess of swords. I've have 992 swords.Of course I have another." She stopped to pull out a heavy gold encrusted sword, "No wait." She reaches back in and pulls out a sword that has the word 'just in case' on it. "Here you go - Jigglo!" she dropped it. This time Allen saw it coming but never-the-less couldn't react in time.

"Who are you?" Van asked the girls. they both looked down at him and smiled at what only they knew, "I am Sakura Vvvv..." The brown haired girl caught the glare from the other.

"And I'm Relena. Now could you please hand my sister her sword." Relena asked.

Van suspiciously walked over to the first sword and picked it up.

"Yeah, hand it here." Sakura said.

Van eyed the sword, "This is the symbol of Fenelia!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Hitomi looked confused.

"Oh yeah. We should probably tell you that we come from the future where Fenelia is re-built in Atlantis." Relena explained.

"Oh it all makes sense now..." Dilandau said sarcastically.

"Atlantis? You're Atlantians aren't you?" Hitomi stood up.

"What? Me and Folken are the only Atlantians left!" Van stated.

Both girls laughed, "Should we talk them?" Sakura asked.

Authoress' note: Don't you just love it when the bad guys sit back and let the good guys talk. The least they could of done was try to run.

"I don't know... it might change the future." Relena said.

"Well, maybe the future could use a little changing. That's why we came anyway." Sakura pointed out.

"Okay but if we don't get born I'm gonna pissed off." Relena said to Sakura.

"What the hell are you talking about be born!?" asked Dilandau. This was the smartest thing Dilandau has ever said (and will ever say).

After floating in air forever, it seemed, the girls finally landed and much to everyone's relief the damn blue light turned off and everyone could see once again.

"Now give me my Goddamn Gundam Sword. So, I can kill that big sleeping guy!" Sakura yelled at Van. So, finally Van gave Sakura her family sword after he stared vacantly at it for the entire time. "Thank you." Sakura said in a ticked-of tone. She mumbled something at the end and Relena seemed to hear.

"Well, if your gonna kill Dornkirk can you hurry it up?" Van asked.

All-of-a-sudden Escaflowne come crashing through the wall in dragon form. "What!!!?" Van yelled in confusion.

Escaflowne landed with a thud on top of the outstretched Allen Chasair and everyone else scurried out of the way. In unison Sakura and Relena started singing, Ding, Dong! The witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch!

Everyone except Hitomi looked puzzle and no one seemed to care about Allen. "I know that song!" Hitomi shouted.

"Well duh, you made us watch that Goddamn Gundam movie countless times!" Relena yelled.

"By the way, where is that tape? I'd like to destroy it now along with the HE-SHE and old sleeping guy." Sakura said in truth.

Relena walked over to where Van was examining Escaflowne strangely. She slapped the arm of Escaflowne impatiently, "Where were you? I told you to come five minutes ago!?" Relena shoved Van aside. "Excuse me..." She took out a handbook entitled, THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL and mumbled, "Humm.. what they will and will not remember... here it is." She put the book away. "You old fart!" She smiled.

Van still looked amazed that she could control Escaflowne, "I can't feel it." he said.

"Uh, maybe that's cuz ya aren't connected to it right now STUPID!" Sakura stated matter-of-factly.

"IDIOT!" Relena added. "Now get up you Goddamn Gundam piece of crap!" Relena kicked the side of Escaflowne. Van, Sakura, and Relena all screamed Ow! And the three grabbed their stomaches in pain. "Remind me not to do that again." Relena said.

"So, much for the theory that he isn't connected to Escaflowne." Sakura pointed to Van. Escaflowne finally obeyed the command and rose up. "I'll take over now!" Sakura told her sister. She jumped onto Escaflowne's back and it turned into the Guymelef aka G.M. form.

"I feel so violated." Van shook his head as Escaflowne walked over and drew it's sword on the unsuspecting sleeping Dornkirk. Everyone else, including Allen who had just sat up moments ago, watched as Van also drew his sword and Relena raised her hands and Sakura's sword rose to meet her. Both Van and Relena copied Escaflowne's actions exactly, as Sakura cut-off Dornkirk's head, at the same time, under a trance, Van sliced off Allen's head and Relena did the same to Dilandau. Hitomi stood dumbfounded at this strange occurrence and the soldiers took turns kicking the still talking heads of Dilandau, Dornkirk and Allen around.

Sakura got out of the Escaflowne's G.M. form and Van and Relena dropped the bloody swords and snapped out of it. "Our job's are done, let's go man!" Sakura put away her Aluminum Foil™. Heero was about to commit suicide, jumped into his Gundam and.... oh you're still reading this? Just checking since this story has no determined plot we thought we might have lost you back there.

All of a sudden they hear a long and loud scream of pain, "I didn't burn the castle that much." Sakura said.

Relena turned to Sakura and said, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I'm not suppose to say that yet was I." Sakura said to Relena as if this has happened before. Sakura walks over to Relena, "I don't think I can do this with out hurting Van or Hitomi."

Relena try to make Sakura shut up and screamed. "We can do this without killing them this time, Sakura. This is the 10th time we've done this. We can't keep going back in time because it will soon effect us." Relena pulled out her booklet again and started flipping through the pages and said, "Found it. You can go back and fourth throughout time without it effecting the future 10 times or less."

"So, this means what?" Sakura asked Relena very puzzingly.

"This means.... This is our last chance." Relena said in the most serious voice ever.

"Excuse me not to intrude or anything, but what are you talking about? What's going to happen if you fail to complete your mission?" Hitomi asked Relena.

"Well let's see....you will die... everything we know as the past will be gone.... and we'll be gone. WE WILL CEASE TO EXIST!" Relena finished in a historical, yes historical not hysterical, voice.

"Oh, is that all." Sakura said in a calm and peaceful manner and then, "WHAT?! We won't exist." Sakura screamed, "I like existing, I don't want not to exist." Sakura ran around the room like a lunatic on drugs while Relena went on and on about what will happen if they don't get everything done right down to the dot.

This show is brought to you by Coca-Fana™, the drink full of fleas. You just can't live unless you try Coca-Fana™ the drink of all Feneliens. now back to our show.©®

"Stop! This is nonsense." a voice from the ground screamed. Everyone looked around the room to see who said that but they couldn't find out who it was. "Look down you stupid idiots." They all looked down to a little baby dragon that morphed into a little girl named Raen.

"Hey Raen, how are you doing?" Relena asked.

"It took you long enough to get here!" Sakura said.

"This is our half human, half doubalganger friend Raen. She helps us with our royal duties." Relena told Van, Hitomi and the others.

"Hey, I told you to come back after 15 minutes. So, Sakura Van Fanel and Relena Merle Fanel get your asses over here right now."

"I didn't know I had any sisters." Van said.

"Oh my god you are so dumb." Sakura said.

"I know he can't even find out we are his and Hitomi's daughters." Relena said to Sakura.

"You are my daughters which I had with Hitomi?" Van asked Sakura.

"Yes, you are our parents." Sakura responded babyishly, "And we aren't proud of it. Just joking." Sakura smiled.

"What!? I slept with that malnutritions bad breath guy?" Hitomi asked.

"Yes, Twice." Relena added.

"I assume there is Scope™ in the future Fenelia." Van said.

Authoress' Note: Referring to a slight spoiler - the scene where Van rescued Hitomi and pulls her in close, they look like they're gonna kiss, but Hitomi hugs him instead - Yeah, this one right here - our theory is that he had really bad breath. You can use that theory if you want.

"Gotta go." Sakura and Relena were told by Raen.

"Why do we have to go we haven't even finished what we started." Sakura stated.

"Oh really it looks like you're done to me. Dornkirk, Dilandau and Allen are what looks to me like dead. So, if that doesn't mean your done, I don't know what does." Raen said in a controlling voice to the two daughters of Van and Hitomi,

Authoress' Note: Who may I say still have even kissed yet.

"Van, I can't believe I marry Van Fanel. Let alone have two daughters together. EHHHHH!" Hitomi said to herself.

"What do you mean you can't believe you marry me!" Van said to Hitomi.

"Oh my god! I think you destroyed the time line as we know it Raen." Relena told her friend.

"Van is gay! Van is gay! Van is-"Allen screamed as his head flew across the floor.

"Van, what was that for?" Hitomi said in dismay.

"He was making fun of me!"

"That doesn't give you the right to kick Allen's head... Let me." Hitomi said.

"Go ahead Mon Cherie."

"Van, that's french." Hitomi grabbed Van's arm and started to kiss it from his wrist to his neck.

"Ouu! That's gross mother." Sakura said very disturbingly.

"How is that gross sister? It's very romantic." Relena said.

"Maybe for a guy to do to a girl, and maybe if your last name is Addams and oh, let me think maybe if it weren't our PARENTS! YUCK!" Sakura stuck her tongue out. Van still dumbfounded about what was happening grabbed.... Hitomi's hand and pulled her into Escaflowne and locked the door.

Authoress' Note: OH YEAH!!!! Like that would ever happen

Relena said, "I'm never going to use Escaflowne again."

"Me neither." Sakura said.

All of a sudden loud noises came from where Van and Hitomi were. "I guess we are going to be born sister." Relena said.

"I told you we would be born." Sakura said and then both together whined, "Euuww."

Then the blue light came back and took Van, Hitomi, Sakura, Relena, Raen and Escaflowne.

This show is brought to you by Trowa Condoms™ and Sperm Jam™ donuts, the food of the future. Although I must say that only Allen Chasair and her (not a typo) family eat these products of gross nature. The first time Allen tried a condom he found it in Escaflowne after Van and Hitomi had just gotten out. Now back to our show.©®

Van and Hitomi hoped out of Escaflowne. "Were we in there that long? I must be really good." Van said.

"Um, I don't think so," Hitomi pulled Van back into Escaflowne.

"OH," you could barely hear him mumble from Escaflowne as the door closed again.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Sakura groaned.

"Now I feel violated." Relena scowled.

The audience all said at once EWW!! super-loudly (but not loud enough to cover the moaning protruding from Escaflowne).

"There goes the surprise." Relena said to Sakura.

"What surprise are you talking about?" Raen asked.

"The surprise is you don't know about the surprise." Sakura exclaimed to Raen.

Relena in a whisper of a voice, "There is no surprise is there?"

Sakura proclaimed after a deep thoughtful pause, "No, I just made that up as a distraction, so that we could get our minds off what mother and father are doing in Escaflowne."

Relena's eyes widened, "Ah! Why's you remind me!"

Off in the distance a voice cries out, "Sakura! You are so grounded! I told you not to burn down the castle." Hitomi finally appeared (the future one), followed by Meryl (no in her 20's) and three squealing cat children. Van (also the future one) was at Hitomi's side. Sakura and Relena future dead-beat husbands appeared soon after. One was wearing a green pot on his head and was wearing a green dress. The other was wearing Escaflownes™ and a very low green tank top that revealed lots of cleavage.

Authoress' Note: Escaflownes™ are extremely tight pants, shorts or capris.

"Sakura!" the dress-guy yelled and started to run towards her with his arms out.

"Pothead." The other guy said as he put his foot out in front of him. The dress-guy tripped.

Sakura yelled, "Thanks Heero!" Relena waved at him.

As he collected himself (including his bowl) from the ground he said in his confusing and disturb voice, "Hey Sakura, it's me Li. Don't you recognizes me? We are in love." The former dress-guy now revealed as Li said.

"Okay! Loser!" Sakura said to Li. "How can I love a man who wears that crap! Li grabs his.....pot hat and throws it to the ground. then grabs his dress and rips it to tin little pieces to reveal a lovely dressed boy.

Everyone but Sakura covers their eyes, "It's okay he got clothes on underneath that ugly dress."

A noise in the bush distracted all but Sakura (still looking at Li's butt). "It Quatre." Relena said "Me have no good gwammer iter." Relena babbled.

"You still dumbfounded by that picture." Sakura babbled back still looking at Li's ass.

"Are you trying to distract me again?" Relena asked

At once (off key) everyone flew into chorus, "Who wears short-shorts?" Heero stepped forward about to sing back. Instead Quatre pushed him aside and sang in his soprano voice, "I wear short-shorts!" And then the song was over.

Heero yelled at him while taking a swing, "Ah get back in your bush!" He then picked up Sakura's discarded Aluminum Foil™ and started to chase him around. Raen murdered the future Van by impaling him. Not really since the master of um... impaling also known as Allen Chasair wasn't around to use. But believe that Raen really did want to murder him, she had been plotting it, in her little half doubalganger, half human head for awhile now but that's a WHOLE OTHER STORY, far- WAY TOO far fetched for this realistic story. Right...

Yeah so anyways where...? Oh yeah, it was quite easy for Heero to catch Quatre, despite him running like a little school girl and Heero proceeded in throwing the balled up Aluminum Foil™ at the little fag. "I'll kill you." Heero threatened Quatre in his serious-Heero-type voice.

Everyone broke out in laughter. "Ha... ha, that;s a good one Heero! It never gets old." Quatre slapped his leg gleefully (or gayfully either one).

"I'm not joking." Heero was getting madder.

"Of course you aren't." Quatre put his hand on Heero's shoulder. "This guy cracks me up." Quatre laughed insanely like he occasionally does.

"Don't touch me you Trowa Lover!" Heero shrugged Quatre's hand off in disgust.

"Sorry Heero buddy, we all know you & Duo-"Quatre was interrupted by two predictable (yeah you knew they'd show up sonner or later)characters.

"Some say our names?" Duo and Trowa walked up holding hands.

Authoress'' Note: Yeah, I know, this has become a spin off from Escaflowne to Gundam Wing but we'll get back them later. Besides, ya were getting' bored of dem weren't you? Yeah just a bit I know. But you know me, I coulded, (couldn't damn I can't speel -COULDN'T) resist throwing my obsessive stuff in there - alright I'll shut up and continue, on to it then.

"Duo, I thought you loved me." Quatre screamed at Duo.

"Trowa, what about last night?" Heero asked Trowa.

"You were with Trowa last night. I never know and I don't want to know you insane horny loser!" Relena exclaimed to Heero.

"Relena wait it not what you think." Heero said.

"You mean we didn't have hot passionate sex all night long? You said you loved me Heero." Trowa said, "But I'm pregnant with your child." Trowa reasoned.

"But I'm pregnant with someone's child!" Duo yelled He had sex with all of them.

"OH MY GOD YOU BISEXUAL Gundam pilots are giving me head." Relena screamed. "I mean a head-ache." Relena corrected.

Wufei, ran up wearing a pair of Heero's spandex pants and two bowl-hats as a bra. "Oh my I'm pregnant." Wufei fell over.

Authoress' Note: No, we are not stupid. We do realize MAN can't get pregnant but this is the UNBELIEVABLE story. So, anything can happen.

"Wufei you said you weren't going to tell anyone." Dr. J said.

"But you said it was mine." Quatre screamed

"We are trying to have a peaceful conversation." a very young naked past Van screamed from Escaflowne. Behind him stood an also very young naked Hitomi. "Euuu!" everyone screamed off key.

"Put some clothes on!" Sakura said to her parents (past).

"We be right down, after we're done." Van said.

"You got to meet some people before they leave. Oh wait they won't leave, I just don't want you to hear what they are saying about you." Van and Hitomi went back into Escaflowne to get changed.

[MOMENTS LATER]

"What the hell have you been saying about me?" Past Van asked Sakura and Relena's weird friends.

"They did say anything we just wanted you to get down here." Relena said.

"These are our strange friends; Heero, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Doctor S, Instructor H, Master O, Doctor J, Professor G, Howard, Li, Davis, T.K., Matt, Chid, Ti (Tai), Julian, Darien, Ken, Joe, Izzy, Ash, Misty, Brock, Dr. Tomo, Michael Jackson, Kyle, Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup, Honey, Carrie, Vanessa, Billy Bob, Bobby Joe, Moose, Neil, J.T., Ashley, Raen, Mei Ling, Madison, Mimi, Britney, Meryl and these are our parents" Sakura said pointing to everyone as she went along. "There are more but I don't remember all their names."

Van and Hitomi were disappointed at what they were hearing in the background. (the pregnant talk).

"I'm not in love with Quatre. Look at him, he's 4½ inches tall, he drinks a mysterious liquid, which he calls water, he wears gloves that are squeaky and full of slime and just look at him." Wufei complained.

"Wufei how can you said such things. Two nights ago you came a hundred times and we only had sex twice and once removed." Quatre said to Wufei and the other boys.

"Um, are we done with this talk or not because it you not done continue it at a later time because I want to know who the child of Duo belong to." Relena said.

"That will be hard to find out." Sakura said, "Duo, who haven't you sleep with other then me and Relena."

"Let's see this will be a short list, Ummm... no one." Duo responded.

"You slut." Relena slapped Duo and the sluts. "And you!" She turned to Heero accusingly, "You.... You.... You.." She slapped him across the face leaving a red hand print.

"Relena you bitch." Julian slapped her ass.

"Don't touch me gal." Heero punched at Julian but Julian ducked letting Izzy take the punch, knocking him undead. Relena runs into Heero's arm, "Owww." Relena was closed line knocking her unconchid..

"I'm sorry but my arm weren't open for a hug. I need to have some fun." Heero said. "And we all know that fun wasn't coming from you. " Heero grabbed..... Relena's hand and pulled her up.

"I... You jerk! Now my secret is out! Do you know how embarrassing it is to be the only virgin in the story! Like for crying out loud, even Sakura had sex with Li when they were 6!" Relena pointed at Sakura, then Li who was looking for the remnants of his dress, and his pot-hat. Before anyone could react Relena burst into tears and ran away in her inherited way, which meant that she ran like Van, all spazzy and Dilandauish.

Dilandau's son, Ronald, said, "She running like my MOM-DAD."

Sakura turned around and said to Ronny Bonny, "Shut up you HE-SHE horny little it."

Ronny Bonny ran after Relena. But Relena ran faster, escaping his malnutritioned legs and insane laughter, "I LOVE YOU RELEEEEEEEE." Ronald started to disappear.

"YEAH! He's gone." Sakura said.

"Whose gone?" Raen asked.

"Time had finely caught up with him." Sakura mumbled.

All of a sudden Van (future) Escaflownes™ started talking, "Hey I'm Tony. The Escaflowne pony and this guys got a boney and it's stabbing me in my Jabroni, yeah I'm Tony!" His white Escaflownes™ stopped reciting his rhyme and smiled. The Escaflownes™ started to..............................................................

THE END OR TO BE CONTINUED..... I don't which yet?