Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or anything pertaining to it except my writing.
Please enjoy. #Chairforlife
Things were so much more complicated than those three little words. Blair had only said them to one boy in her entire life, and she had meant them. She still did, but what she and Nate had had was really just an idea of a fairytale happy ending. Real life wasn't like that. Reality was far crueler, in which the universe seemed capable of holding an everlasting grudge on you–and your children as well. Simply, it made everything suck, while before everything made you savor your youth in that one moment you'd had with that one person that made you feel alive and complete. Wanted. That Bass-tard had done that to her. And since then, she'd been fighting her unwanted feelings for minutes upon days which turned quickly–and yet painstakingly slowly–to months. All she'd wanted was for him to tell her three little words. Little words, however, that were able to send whatever she and Chuck had to oblivion and far, far, far beyond. She just couldn't say it first.
And yet here she was. Unable to sit still, knee bouncing, nails clicking on her vanity as she stared herself down in the mirror. Ridiculous. She was Blair chucking Waldorf. This demon spawn shouldn't have such an effect on her. Particularly her body temperature which increased rather largely whenever he either a) touched her, b) said her name, c) looked at her, and finally–but most prominently–d) all of the above. It was pathetic, really. But she had to admit to herself she'd never felt that way about anyone, not even her ex, Nate. He'd never made her feel the way Chuck did with a glance, a sweep of his fingertips over her skin. Blair raises her hand to her cheek. She must have a fever. Honestly. But she wouldn't back down. She'd given Chuck a chance. He'd let her down. But being truthful, had she really wanted him to say the words? They would change everything, what little they had–whatever they had–and she was scared. Yes, Blair Waldorf was capable of such. She never thought it was possible to care for someone so much, but… What if that was wrong? With Chuck… He knew everything about her. He knew just how to get under her skin, and she very near always liked when he did, even if she denied it.
But giving up the games they played… Had he been right in saying they wouldn't have a chance if they let them go? She wasn't sure if she wanted to find out and have to face the consequences. So for now, she'd have to deal. Even if he wouldn't spell out those eight letters… she needed Chuck Bass. Blair stands from her stool, breathing out. Time to find the devil himself. That itch wasn't gonna scratch itself.
