I have started a new fic because I am a lazy piece of shit that doesn't want to write the 3000 word research review article on marijuana and schizophrenia that I have due in 8 days. And also, I'm just generally a terrible person incapable of focusing on the one fanfic I've been writing for two years. My apologies about that.
The drive to the Academy was long, and dull. Just like I remembered. I was watching the trees flash by in a bored stupor as Lissa leaned against me, sleeping peacefully. She had drooled a little against my shoulder, and the two royal guardians sitting opposite us made a pointed show of not noticing. I had already snapped a photo on my phone, excited to add it to my small collection of pictures of Lissa being unstately. Surprisingly, over the course of our long, close friendship, it consisted of about fifteen photos and three short videos.
I glanced at Lissa wistfully, brushing a strand of blonde hair away from her nose. I wished I could sleep right now. She needed it more than me, though, having barely slept in the last three weeks.
We had been playing around with a few bridal magazines, pointing out the ugliest dresses possible to ease the discomfort and panic that had been settling over me recently. Lissa had already been through all this with her husband, Christian, but the idea of getting married still really freaked me out.
Don't get me wrong, I loved Dimitri, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. To some degree, the idea of a big wedding with a kickass dress appealed to me. I mean, I'm nothing if not a little showy. But at the same time, the feeling of standing up in front of a hundred people in a stupid dress, with an old, dusty priest droning on for half an hour... well, it wasn't my scene.
Lissa had been trying to calm me down.
"You're almost twenty two," she reminded me, as I hyperventilated over choosing colour schemes. "He even waited until you said you were ready. And you were the one who picked the date."
"That was last week, Liss," I had snapped, wringing my hands. I had told Dimitri that I was ready, and I'd suggested a date in August. He'd tried not to overreact, probably well aware that it was going to freak me out, but I could see the excitement in his eyes. "I don't know what I was thinking," I moaned.
She paused thoughtfully, looking at me in that gentle way of hers. "You know, you don't have to get married." She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I relaxed.
"You're right," I muttered, feeling my stress ease off. "I want to marry him, though. I love him. It would make him happy."
"Will it make you happy?" she asked gently, shifting so that she could rub my shoulders.
"Yeah," I mumbled, lifting my face to the ceiling. "It's a little bit exciting. I just don't want to mess this up. Or look like I'm trying too hard."
Lissa laughed. "I'll make sure it all works out," she assured me. I felt so much better, and I wasn't completely oblivious as to why. Lissa's compulsion and healing abilities were bordering on freaking ridiculous, and she had used a mixture of both to take the edge off my panic. I frowned at her, and she shrugged innocently.
"Look at this," she said, grabbing a magazine and waving it in my face. I relented and let her change the topic. "This dress is totally you!"
I snorted and grabbed the magazine, studying the huge chiffon ball that all but swallowed the skinny model wearing it.
"Could you imagine me fighting Strigoi in that?" I joked.
Lissa frowned and shot me a look. "You are not fighting Strigoi at your own wedding."
I laughed, and flipped the page, pointing out another dress.
We'd sat there for half an hour, bouncing up and down on Lissa's huge bed, revelling in the alone time that we rarely got these days. Lissa's responsibilities as Queen were endless and overwhelming, and even without the bond I did my best to alleviate the pressure on her. There was no doubt that Spirit made her a great leader, but the stress only made her darkness worse.
As usual, we didn't get to enjoy a normal moment for very long. I was used to Christian barging in places looking grumpy – it was practically his trademark entrance – but today he looked stressed. He was running a hand through his dark hair, his usual snarky smirk transformed into a thoughtful frown.
"Did you hear?" he asked. Dimitri followed him through, closing the door quietly behind him. He gave me a quick glance, and his lips pulled into a teasing smile when he saw the magazine in my hands. I blushed and dropped it.
"Hear what?" Lissa asked, dread in her voice. Nothing good ever happened at court, especially when the opening sentence was something like that.
"St Vladimirs!" Christian exclaimed, throwing himself onto the foot of the bed. Dimitri gracefully folded himself into a chair beside the window, cracking open the heavy curtains a little to enjoy the sunlight. It was evening according the Moroi schedule, and from their relatively formal attire, I gathered the two had been in some kind of meeting.
"What's happened?" Lissa asked fearfully. If we had been in a more public setting, she would have controlled the weary drag of her shoulders, and the despair rising in her eyes. Christian looked at her thoughtfully and took her hand, playing with her jade wedding band slowly. She took a deep breath and nodded for him to continue.
"There's been some trouble with the offensive magic classes," he began slowly. I sighed impatiently.
"There's always been trouble with offensive magic," I snapped. I may not take darkness from Lissa anymore, but her mood still greatly influenced my own. Anything that caused her trouble instantly pissed me off, and the old "offensive magic" topic had really been grinding my gears lately.
Christian scowled at me. Our relationship was pretty healthy, and I liked to consider us close friends, but it was inevitable that sometimes we could be a little stand-offish. "Not this kind."
Our car bumped over the rough back road, bringing me out of my recollection. Lissa frowned in her sleep, her hand gripping my crumpled shirt. I ran my fingers through her hair soothingly, and pressed my cheek against her forehead. Every guardian in the royal guard loved Lissa – hell, basically the entire Moroi and dhampir world loved her. Obviously there were some crazy exceptions, and her youth and strange, unexpected ascent to the throne made our job a little tense. Despite that, Lissa had charmed every one of her twelve guardians.
"It's good she's getting some rest," Guardian Abramova commented, brushing a hand over her shaved head. There was concern and pity in her eyes. We were all a little worried about Lissa.
"Yeah," I agreed. "Are we almost there?"
As soon as I asked, I felt the car slow. We were approaching the gates. Eagerly, I leaned into the cold glass, trying to catch a glimpse of the school I hadn't seen in four years. It was almost dawn, but the grey light breaking on the horizon wasn't enough to highlight more than a fuzzy shadow of buildings in the distance. Lissa stirred against me, releasing her hold on my uniform in favour of a stretch.
"We're here?" she asked, voice heavy with sleep.
"Yeah," I answered. I sighed dramatically. "God, I was really hoping I would never have to see this place again."
"Yeah, but now that we're here, guess what else we get to see again?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and I grinned. The other guardians looked away uncomfortably. Christian had left Court two and a half weeks ago to try and bring some authority to St Vladimirs, and hopefully stop the loud voices at Court from criticising Lissa for not dropping everything and "taking care of this disaster she encouraged".
She was the queen, and unfortunately there wasn't a lot of freedom attached to that title. She had appointments backed up for months, and between ruling and college she also had a schedule so tight I could barely breathe. Really, it was a miracle that we'd managed to get here in under six months. But there was, as always, a constant wave of criticism from the royals that had no concept of how Court and the Council really worked. It made me want to kick someone in the face, and unfortunately Dimitri hadn't been with me for the last two and half weeks to discourage that urge.
I looked longingly at the silhouetted buildings. I could hear our driver chatting casually to the guardians on gate duty. They hadn't known when to expect us – a safety precaution was making sure people didn't know what routes we took, or our arrival times. I felt myself growing agitated.
"Can we hurry this up?" I said loudly.
"Rose!" Lissa scolded, straightening in her seat and putting on her queenly façade. I rolled my eyes, knowing she was just as desperate to get through these gates as I was.
A knock on the window beside Abramova made us all jump, although the guardians hid it a little better. Lissa still had her hand over her heart as the window rolled down to reveal the grinning face of Guardian Alberta Petrov. I tried – unsuccessfully – to repress a smile.
"Well, well, well," she said slyly, glancing around the cabin. "A royal guard. Are you bringing Hathaway in chains?"
I grinned and touched a hand to my red trimmed lapel as modestly as I could manage. "Sorry to disappoint, Guardian Petrov, but it won't be our usual disciplinary meeting."
Alberta squinted at my uniform, and smiled. I had no doubt she'd been informed of my position in the royal guard, but she pretended to faint against the side of the car anyway.
"God forbid that Rosemarie Hathaway protects our future," she joked. Then she schooled her expression into a more acceptably polite smile and turned to Lissa. "Your majesty," she greeted. "We are honoured by your visit. I'm sure you'll want to rest and settle in tonight, but I will need to debrief your guardians, for your safety."
Lissa nodded, smiling her queenly smile. "I understand," Lissa agreed. That was fine for her to say – she wasn't the one sitting in a car being drooled on for the last four hours.
"Perfect." Alberta glanced at the guardians in the car. "I'll catch up and show you to my office in the administration building." She stepped away from our car and waved us through.
I was more excited than I was willing to admit, and not only because Dimitri was on the other side of these gates. St Vlads had been my home for almost all of my life. There had been some crazy times behind these walls, and a lot of surreptitious eyerolls and heavy sighs from my teachers. I was looking forward to parading around in my badass royal guard uniform.
The administration building was, in my opinion, the ugliest addition to the Academy. It was one of the new modern buildings on the grounds, and whatever architect had designed the blocky white monstrosity deserved to hang. Lissa was eyeing it with similiar distaste as we approached.
"At least you don't have to sit in it for the next hour," I muttered, bumping her with my shoulder. "You get to jump in bed with pyro while I listen to a boring debriefing."
Lissa placed a sympathetic hand on my shoulder, but at the mention of her husband, she couldn't stop herself from smiling. "If it's any consolation, I'm far too exhausted to do anything more than collapse for the next few hours."
But as our car rolled to a stop and I helped Lissa out of the car, I could practically feel that consolation slip through my fingers. Christian was waiting for us, hiding from the dawn in the shadow of the admin building. I rolled my eyes as Lissa gripped my hand excitedly, attempting to act as queenly as possible.
Christian grinned and winked saucily at his wife, and I rolled my eyes again. At this rate, my retinas would detach and I would be blinded for life. At least I wouldn't have to watch these two get it on across a courtyard.
Then again, I also wouldn't be able to see Dimitri, leaning casually against the building, feet from Christian, face turned to enjoy the grey sunlight breaking through the clouds. His duster swayed gently in the breeze, and strands of that dark, silky hair played across his face. His eyes were closed, and his arms were crossed, and he was wearing more clothes than I liked, but the outline of his powerful body was clear to me, even from this distance.
In a remarkable show of self-control, I didn't bolt across the courtyard and jump him against the wall. I settled for exhaling sharply and running a hand through my hair in frustration.
He opened his eyes slowly, and cast a lazy glance across to our car. Dimitri had perfected his guardian mask years ago, but he couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips for just a second, or the heat I saw flash through his eyes. He allowed himself a moment to let his gaze travel languidly down my body, and the way he looked at me made me feel naked. I wished I was wearing something sexier than my uniform.
"Lord Ozera," Lissa greeted formally, curtseying when we stopped before the two.
Christian bowed in return, his gesture significantly more overdramatic. "My Queen," he returned. Propriety demanded that the two do nothing more that touch hands in public, but Christian was too much like me, and not at all considerate of the norms of high society. His social indiscretions had been hot gossip at Court on many occasions.
Almost before you could blink, Christian had Lissa wrapped up in his arms as he peppered her face with kisses. As guardians, we all pretended we didn't notice.
Dimitri was purposefully avoiding my gaze, and I knew why. We had to be appropriate, and the last time we'd been reunited after two weeks apart, I had teased him incessantly with seductive smiles and surreptitious winks. Of course, that night I had been off duty, and wearing a scandalous red dress…
I was studying him carefully, trying to hold back an impish smile as I recalled how many things we had broken in our apartment afterwards. Dimitri glanced at me quickly, and I could see the same thoughts burning in his eyes.
I shivered.
"If you're cold, Hathaway, perhaps we could head inside and get started?" I glanced back at Alberta as she approached. Lissa and Christian were being led away by two Academy Guardians. I hadn't even noticed them approach, I'd been too invested in my appreciation of Dimitri.
If I had been anyone else, I might have blushed.
Alberta led the way through the front doors. There were eleven of us, in total. Lissa's other three guardians were probably moving luggage or something – to be honest, I preferred a boring debrief than bellboy duty.
I noticed Dimitri slowing to walk by my side as we started up some stairs. We were at the back of the group, and the burning look he shot me made me drop my gaze. I was happy to tease him most days, but that look told me he was pretty close to the edge. I counted the steps as we climbed, pretending not to notice the heavy warmth spreading from my lower stomach, or the rapid pace my heart had settled on.
We were only a few feet behind the group, but it already felt alarmingly private. As we reached the second floor, I started to speed up. I needed to put some distance between us, or something extremely inappropriate was going to happen.
Dimitri had other ideas. He quickly appraised the group of casually chatting guardians before grabbing hold of my wrist and pulling me aside. This building may be ugly, but the sharp, protruding corners made great hiding places.
"What are you-" I gasped out.
Dimitri's lips found mine hungrily.
I gripped his shirt and pulled him against me, and he pushed back, pinning me against the wall. His kisses were dominating, his hands almost bruising as they travelled my body and tangled in my hair, pulling gently.
I was senselessly lost, breathing in his cologne and sweat, feeling the heat of his chest through his shirt, kissing down his neck. I forgot how to breathe when he rocked his hips against mine, groaning in pleasure while I struggled with the buttons on his shirt.
"No," he managed, pulling my hands away. He took a step back, his eyes wild, and ran a hand over his face. "Not right now."
I scowled, remembering where we were. "Well, you shouldn't start things you can't finish," I scolded. I was flushed, my breathing was heavy, and I knew my expression was filled with challenge. I knew there was nothing that turned him on like that.
He stepped close again, putting his hands on my hips and pulling me against him so I could feel his arousal. I closed my eyes as he brushed his lips along my jawline, brushing a soft kiss behind my ear. My pulse raced, and my head fell back, my hands resting helplessly on his shoulders.
"I missed you… I promise I'll finish this later."
He walked away from me like it was nothing. I gaped after him for a moment before pulling myself together. Grumbling quietly about how unfair my life was compared to Lissa's, I followed him until we caught up with the other guardians.
They were all chatting, apparently oblivious to our brief disappearance.
Alberta's office was bigger than it used to be – almost as big as Kirova's had been, which made me wonder what kind of vast interior disaster the principal worked in now. The debriefing was relatively short, and said little about the reason we'd come here in the first place. It seemed Alberta was leaving that for the big assembly happening tomorrow evening.
We were informed of the recent security breaches, the layout of the academy – for the benefit of those guardians that hadn't grown up here wreaking havoc – and what was expected of us during our stay. As usual, assigned guardians had to pull their weight while on Academy grounds, which meant patrols, and apparently assisting with the education of young dhampirs.
We finished with Alberta telling us that we had tomorrow off, but there would be opportunities for us to visit classes and talk to the novices about our experiences. I rolled my eyes, but I knew I couldn't pass up the opportunity to scare the shit out of some teenagers, so I promised Alberta I would show up to Stan's midday class.
I was fidgeting by the time we were finished, unable to stop myself from catching sneaky glimpses of Dimitri, admiring the way he had positioned himself so gracefully in a chair. The silver stake glinting from underneath his duster gave his professional demeanour a sexy, lethal quality.
It was a relief when Alberta said we could leave. If Dimitri and I weren't in a bed in the next few minutes, I was going to settle for that chair.
"Hathaway, Belikov, I'd like to speak with you before you go."
I groaned, and dropped back down into my seat. Alberta raised her eyebrows, but her lips twitched in amusement. She leaned against her desk, her ankles crossed, as the other guardians filed out of the room quietly.
"Am I ever going to get some sleep?" I grumbled. Alberta either missed or chose to ignore the meaningful glance and mischevious smile that Dimitri shot me.
The door closed as the last of the guardians exited.
"Obviously, I am aware of your relationship," she began, cutting straight to it. I straightened, surprised.
Dimitri raised his eyebrows. "Obviously?" he asked. "We weren't trying to hide it."
Alberta nodded. "I know. That's what I need to talk to you about. St Vladimirs has known you both, in the past, as student and mentor. As you can understand, there's quite a stigma around here, and although you may be rather open about your relationship at Court, I think…" she hesitated, considering her next words carefully. "I think a degree of discretion would be less likely to cause trouble."
Dimitri was nodding thoughtfully.
"I cannot force you to hide this relationship," she continued. Her tone was apologetic. "But I would advise that you be as inconspicuous as possible. Given your history, I think it would be wise to keep some people on this campus in the dark."
"You want us to pretend we're not together?" I asked incredulously, moving to the edge of my chair. Alberta shifted uneasily.
"I would suggest it as a more appropriate option," she admitted. "There are quite a few people on this campus that would react negatively, and we don't need more complications at the moment."
"Screw them!" I exclaimed, standing. "I don't give a damn what kind of stigma they've got! We're not hiding our relationship just because some old acquaintances have a problem with it!"
"Rose," Dimitri murmured, "I think she might be right."
I looked at him disbelievingly. "What?" I asked, my voice dangerously low.
"I agree with you," he said earnestly. "We shouldn't have to hide. But this is a fight we should probably avoid. It's not like Alberta is asking us to act cold to one another, just refrain from any public displays."
"I am not sneaking around this campus like I'm fucking guilty of something!" I snapped, crossing my arms. Dimitri's eyes hardened, the corners of his mouth turning down slightly. I tossed my hair as a challenge.
"No one's asking you to," Alberta interjected. "I can't control either of you. But, as Dimitri said, the best fight is one avoided. There are too many people here that will disapprove of your relationship, and they have better reasons than any royal fool at court." She paused, letting that sink in. I was still angry, although I could see her reasoning.
Dimitri and I had been targets for gossip for a long time at court, and those were people that hardly knew us, people that were upset on the grounds that we were both Guardians. The people here… well, they had been my teachers. They were going to be even more likely to view our relationship negatively, and they were the people we were going to be spending the most time with over the next few weeks. I still didn't like it though.
I was shaking my head, even as Alberta continued. "I am not asking you to do anything dramatic, I'm just making a suggestion that would make everyone's lives easier."
"What about all the students here that live at court?" I argued. "It's not like St Vlad's exists in a bubble. Someone is bound to know about us. It won't take long before the entire school knows."
Alberta fixed me with a calm stare that made my skin itch with irritation. "And the staff won't pay any attention. They'll assume the gossip is just that – gossip. If your relationship does become public knowledge, I hardly think it will be a tragedy. I was merely pointing out that this school is already seconds from exploding, and we don't need to be adding any fuel to that fire." She directed her next comments to me. "If you're strongly opposed to restraining yourself publicly, Guardian Hathaway, I won't fight you on that. You can choose to handle this situation however you see fit. I was just offering some advice."
I hadn't taken my eyes off Dimitri, but my aggression had eased. I didn't like it. I still wanted to say no. I opened my mouth to tell Alberta that, with all due respect, everyone else on campus could stick it where the sun don't shine, and my relationship was nobody else's business.
Dimitri spoke first. "I think it's a good idea," he said determinedly, ignoring my sounds of protest. "We'll keep everything discreet and professional."
I gaped at him, astounded. Did he just agree for both of us? Alberta thanked us both – even though I hadn't agreed to a damn thing – and then ushered us out of the door. She'd known me long enough to know when a storm was coming, and this one was going to be a fucking hurricane.