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Warning! Incest!
Denied Love
By: © Simon Erif
Squall's Pov
He watched the palace. Standing on a hill north from the city of Esthar. He just stood there thinking about nothing and everything.
Mostly thinking Laguna and how he had changed his life without almost doing anything. Laguna Loire the President of Esthar His Father He hadn't believed it first but they had done a DNA test when he had asked for it. It was true. Laguna was his father.
How could everything change with one little word? And now he was leaving Esthar. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy his fathers company. On the contrary he loved to be with him, to spend some time with his father. But that was the whole point! Laguna was his FATHER And what he wanted from him wasn't acceptable. Laguna was his Father yes but he could never think of him like that.
He loved his father. No He was IN love with him. He sighed at his thoughts. It wouldn't make his life any worse or any better to wonder these things he couldn't change. But he couldn't help himself.
He could only imagine Laguna's shock if he found out what he really wanted from him, then the anger towards Squall and himself for failing him so badly as a father. If that happened there would be no way he could survive the shame and rejection. No way at all.
So, the only option left was to leave. Go somewhere where no one lived. Maybe north. Somewhere remote distant from other civilised settlement. Somewhere where they couldn't find him and where he could cry for his shame and love for his father without being disturbed or with the fear of someone finding out.
Yes that was the only way. To leave and to never come back, live alone and mourn for the forbidden love he had in his heart. He had to leave. He couldn't stay and watch his father every day and not do anything, he couldn't just sit there and watch from the background when he some day fell in love with someone else. If he hadn't already like he suspected.
It was best this way. No one else got hurt including his father. He would for get him someday and live his life like he was supposed to. With out him. They hadn't known each other that long after all. He would disappear and everyone could go on with their lives with out him.
It was the way things should be
And with those thoughts he turned around and just started walking. He didn't have anything with him but he didn't really need anything. He had all he wanted or needed with him in his heart. The picture of Laguna in his mind and the warm feeling of love warming him from the inside even if it was one sided. He smiled and disappeared in to the horizon.
Laguna's POV
In the palace Laguna stood on the high balcony watching the distant horizon where the sun was slowly setting. The last rays giving the sky its divine golden glow that soon turned to fiery red. He sighed deeply as he again found his thoughts drifting to the forbidden territory. Squall
The sky reminded him of his hair, how the sun would sometimes catch in it showing the fiery highlight reflection from its perfection. For that was what he thought his son was Perfect. There was not a single flaw in his beautiful face or body. He was perfect.
But Squall was his son. These thoughts could never be said out loud and he didn't think Squall would welcome then anyway. His desires were forbidden, just like the object of those desires was out of his reach.
It would never be accepted by anyone and him being the President didn't make things any easier. He was supposed to be a role model to the others. He was supposed to be the perfect one. But was he? No, and he never had been, no matter what the others thought.
He hadn't really defeated Adel in the first place. It was all of them but mostly Kiros with his clever mind. Even ward had done more than him. He had just been there. Maybe fought with the others but mostly just been in the background.
So why had he become the President? Because he was easy to control, or so they had thought. He wasn't stupid even if he acted like one from time to time or like Kiros said, all the time. He knew the others were controlling him. Yes, also by Kiros and Ward. He didn't really care as long as he knew nothing bad happened or anyone was hurt.
And now there was Squall, his only son and forbidden love. It could never be, he knew this. So he would just continue to look at the sunsets and remember him and watch from the afar like he had now done for a year or so. Yes he had been spying his own son for the last year even before the Ultimecia incident. Or war whatever.
He chuckled by himself thinking he now knew where Squall had gotten that "Whatever" saying. Even though he never did hear it from me. He then sadly looked in the horizon where the sun would set with its last sparks or golden light. He knew that this was the only thing he would have. The sunsets to comfort him with his own thoughts, there were no other he could talk to, no one and nothing else to seek any comfort from.
"I love you Squall" he whispered to the last ray of light before turning and heading back inside to attend to the last presidential business before crawling to his large bed to sleep one more night alone in his silent solitude.
THE END