Why Dobby is Lame (a Story of Mockery)
by Songweaver
Disclaimer:I do not own any of the genius that is J.K. Rowling (like bowling)'s Harry Potter. All I own is an unnatural obcession with mocking her lovely characters sneaks off with cardboard cutout of Lupin Muhahahah! I don't even own the idea for this story. If you like this story and have read Eragon or any of the Tortal books, please read "Why Jonathan is Lame" or "Why Galbatorix is Lame", I got the story idea from them!
THIS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FROM DEATHLY HALLOWS!!!!!!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!!! THANK YOU!
Dobby:
1. He worked for the Malfoys, those icky white haired gits.
2. He now works for a bunch of grumpy teachers and their hormonal students that all play with magic twigs that shoot sparks, poor elf! Here's how that plays out:
Dobby: How may I serve you, Master Potter?
Harry Potter: Dobby I want you to get me a sandwhich!
Dobby: But, sir...they are serving sandwhiches for lunch down in the Great Hall!
HP: I'm feeling anti-social, Dobby. Bring me a peanut butter and pickled marichino cherry sandwich!
Dobby : shudders at nasty sandwich order As Harry Potter wishes... poofs away to get sandwich poofs back
HP: Now Dobby, I want you to force Draco Malfoy to eat this...because you're a lousy sandwich maker!
3. He never wears matching socks. Sock-waster!
4.What kind of name is Dobby, anyway?!? Would you name your kid Dobby?
5. He has to take care of a butterbeer-aholic elf that is suffering from disownment. Get a life!
6. He's freedom was a fluke.
7. None of the other elfs like him because he's a payed elf. He worse than the elf that wanted to be a dentist.
Hermie: I want to be a dentist! starts singing the "Misfit" song
Me: pretends to sing along, tosses Hermie into a snow-drift to be rescued by a talking snowman
Dobby: Dobby is payed! Dobby likes talking in the third person and wearing mis-matches socks!
Hermione: Good for you, Dobby! I think I'm going to protect your rights by starting an elf-rights organization named after vomit!
Me: riiiiight. cuz that always works!
Hermione: Where'd you come from?!
Me: um...I've come to take the crazy elf! grabs Dobby and disappears in a cloud of sense
Hermione: Works for me! grabs Ron and jumps into a romance fic
8. He likes jumping on beds and hurting himself. Happy emo elf!
9. He called Ron a "wheezy"...thats just not right!
10. He's fun to laugh at!
Well, thats the first one! I will have more chapters in the near-ish futer! And don't worry, I'll still be working on Hogcircle!
Please review! Here's the ballot for the next chappie:
Dumbledore
Rita Skeeter
Hagrid
The Weasley Twins
SO PLEAAAAAAAAAASE VOTE!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!
Songweaver