[ Author's Notes: ^_^ None ]
Sleepwalker by Margot - Dec. 2-7 2000
I remember the day I first met you...
Well, I don't remember the day. They all seemed to run together then. It must have been sunny, because I noticed more security guards around my house than usual.
On rainy days, there are fewer of them. They seem to think that on rainy days, I am less likely to escape.
They're foolish to think that, really. They're afraid I'll escape from this prison but I never could. I'm too weak... and there's nothing for me out there.
...you were just a girl.
You had strange dreams, though. Unlike any I've ever seen. You did not dream of tangible things, nor did you seem to even truly dream at all... your dreams "wandered." Your subconscious would go about passing the dreams of others, and would wait until someone would invite you in, to share their dreams with you.
You had a restless soul.
You passed by my dream once. I suppose that was one of the few times in my life I ever truly panicked... I opened my dream to you the second I sensed you pass. And you came in.
From the looks of it, no one had ever shared their dream with you. I was happy to be the first.
Everyone around me is always acting like I could break if they touch me... but you did not.
I suppose I fell in love with that... whatever it was that you projected, I loved it.
I loved you.
You asked me where I would go, if I were to leave this place.
When I told you anywhere, as long as you came with me, you laughed and demanded a straight answer. So I told you the sea.
And my dreamscape changed into the sea. Beautiful birds circled overhead.
It was a strange sensation. I'd been here in my dreams so many times, and every time I saw those birds, I wanted to be one of them.
I longed to be a bird so I could fly away from here.
But this time was different. I saw the birds, and could hear them... but strangely I did not want to be among them.
I wanted to stay where I was, with you.
You swore to me that you would come take me away someday. You would always tell me about yourself; your childhood, your friends, your brother, and your brother's lover. Once, you asked me about myself. I told you about my dreamgazing qualities, and how the government locked me up in my house so they could use my skills. You didn't reject me because of that... I was surprised.
One time, I had a different dream. I could feel you pass by, expecting to be let in, but I refused. I didn't want you to see this dream. It was about your brother, Subaru, and his lover, Sakurazuka Seishirou...
The dream was horrible. I didn't want to remember it, ever. I prayed for it to be untrue... I prayed for it to be false.
The next day, you did not return.
At first I assumed that you weren't asleep yet, but as time passed, I knew something had to be wrong.
Something must have happened to your brother.
And instantly, I knew that the dream was true. Now, I could see everything in my dream, happening in reality. Only this time, I was seeing everything in more detail. I had to believe.
You told the Sakurazukamori you still cared for him, you still wanted him to live.
I tried to run away from the house... I tried desperately to escape so I could save you, but the guards....
They had guns. I didn't know.
They shot me through the chest.
Now I'm worse than dead.
I knew all along what would happen... but I refused to believe. In my foolishness, I refused to believe my own dreams. Now I know better... my dreams read the true future. And the future cannot be changed.
A girl from the outside, Kotori, died today. Her spirit came to visit me a last time. She was such a beautiful girl, pure and uncomplicated... she reminded me of you. She told me, the future is not yet decided.
But that's not true. The future cannot be changed.
I suppose that's why you allowed your brother to meet and come to love the Sakurazukamori.
Because you knew, Hokuto-chan.
You knew the future could not be changed.