Pairing: Carol Aird/Therese Belivet.
Rating: SFW.
Summary: Therese could never love Richard because he was so indecisive, she thinks she better make up her mind.
Other: Slight angst, mostly just takes off a few days after The Price of Salt.
Winter is turning into Spring. The weather doesn't quite know what it's doing and maybe that's reminiscent of how she feels. Therese's mood changes daily but her affections do not. It's Carol she's decided on, it's Carol that her brain can only think of, that her heart can only feel for but it's the life with Carol that's plaguing Therese. I'm different, the woman thinks silently. She doesn't quite know how it comes upon herself, but it does. Memories, the past, of a time that positively tore her apart. She's in what Richard would call one of those far away moods. It's just her, Therese's whole personality. Her own little world, her own little life, so when she truly fell into someone, it was the angel flung from outer space back into the living realm. Maybe Richard wasn't so bad, she thinks. He had a point but he was indecisive and it's that thought that makes her frown. She's being indecisive. When Carol first came around, she knew what she wanted. Carol. To move in with Carol, to dote on Carol but that isn't her anymore. Carol hasn't asked again, but Therese has purposely shut all doors to ask. It's the romance Therese had wanted, the fantasy, the envelopment of true love, everlasting, the spark of two souls. Yet, she knows that can't really happen.
The ground outside is sparkling with the day's rain. The weather had been light, warm but still rainy. Therese's arms are crossed over her chest. "... is selling." The end of Carol's words finally reach her ears and that's something else that's also so far off from what Therese had been. That changes too. That day in the Oak Room when she silently realized she needed a piece of Carol in her life, that she'd always think of Carol, she also realized she wasn't truly with Carol. Carol's mood has been light, happier, she doesn't seem as locked away but there's a piece of Therese that still ultimately hurts and resentment addles up her spine, making the hairs on the back of her neck rise and it's in those moments she needs her space from Carol. They need not run from anything anymore, but Therese still seemed to be running from something. She just has yet to stop and think about it.
Therese doesn't answer Carol, eyes still focused on the rain changing into snow. There's beer on the windowsill in front of her she barely has yet to touch. Right now she's back in outer space, 'far away' mood. "Therese?" Carol inquires and Therese swallows, realizing she ought to answer without alerting Carol but it's already like Carol to have known a few moments ago. It's been a rocky two days for a relationship. Therese is busy setting up her sets for the play and Carol is busy putting her foot in the door of the furniture store but as it turns out they're a natural at both and in a few days time, it'll slow down. This is the first night that they've been alone, instead of just a quick run for lunch. Carol's apartment was small, but it was still divine in the way only Carol could make it.
Therese turns, eyes on Carol without really seeing her. She'd rather not see that knowing look in Carol's gray eyes, or the curvature of Carol's brow that would suggest Therese should come back to her. This is Carol and Carol can spot that mood just as Richard could, along with every other emotion and mood. "I think I should head out for the night. I have a busy day tomorrow." Therese finally says, eyes looking away from Carol's face. There's a moment of silence, a beat but it's deafening none the less.
"Why don't I walk you to the door?" Carol asks and Therese just shakes her head. Therese was coming back to herself - growing up - and a it's a million thoughts clogging her consciousness but at the moment, she wasn't coming back to Carol Aird. A single moment of discovery brought on by the weather outside. How absurd. Therese felt a lump welling in her throat, an onslaught of tears that would come if she doesn't escape Carol's apartment.
"No, stay. It's cold out there." She ventures as an offer of kindness. She looks at Carol but she doesn't see Carol, so Therese just turns to leave. Heading towards the door in a steady haste. Her words had seemed calm, her pace peaceful but there was an emotional distance Therese was pushing between them. She hates how the trip had just come to her, weighing down the mood, the peaceful air Carol was giving from being free of Harge. None of that is the reason she needed to be alone. It was the sudden, jerking realization that her love for Carol had become a paradox.
She wanted Carol, but she didn't trust Carol.
Therese was afraid of the overwhelming loneliness she had felt in Carol's absence. A piece of her just wanted to turn and ask, but the last time Carol promised, Harge had hammered a wedge between the two. She just had to trust that wouldn't happen now and she needed to find that. Putting a hundred miles between them doesn't seem so haunting as it once did and that's the exact reason she needed distance. She's being physically distant for that reason.
"Will you call me tomorrow?" Carol asked with Therese opening the door and Therese paused for a second before stepping outside.
"Yes," she answered automatically, shutting the door behind herself.
Although, she thinks that if Carol asked, she would have slept in Carol's arms that night and maybe that's the exact reason she didn't give Carol enough time to ask. She heads home that night with a new found fear of being physically close to Carol. Therese goes to bed with a heavy heart and an indecision to give into the fact that Carol will always be her universe.
Sleep clouded Therese's consciousness and she awoke much later than she hoped. Due both to the fact that Harkevy himself is taking it slow and that she's only spent an hour or so at a time the past two days with Carol, she's had to find a way to fill the time. She's finished Harkevy's set already and her plan is to go into the office and show it to him. Here's the thing, Carol is on her mind. Carol will always be on her mind but a few months prior before Hargess, the divorce and on the trip that took Carol and Therese across the country, she could never deny Carol. She'd jump at Carol's every word but now age quickly crept up on Therese and here she stands with a new found passion for succeeding. Maybe it wasn't so newfound, she has run before (left) just because she was fired. Maybe a piece of her remembers the light in Carol's eyes, the way Carol was ultimately more attracted to Therese the moment she relayed she was a designer. Carol's little hotshot.
Unfortunately for Therese, her plan at showing the set worked a little too well. Harkevy changed a few things, but overall the meeting lasted no more than an hour and she was out. The few minor changes is something Therese could do in a short amount of time. She was early finishing the set as it was. Which means one thing, the night was free and to add to it, when Harkevy and Therese were chatting, Genevieve waltzed in. The beautiful actress... that so sorely reminded Therese of Carol. Eyes peeled away from the beautiful woman and Therese said her goodbyes because she owed Carol a telephone call.
Therese used the phone in the lobby of her apartment building. She knows the change in emotions is tiring but she's weary, she's in love. Except now it came down to one thing. A little time away from Carol each day and she did miss Carol. Maybe this was making up her mind. She knew she could succeed that she could walk away from Carol as Carol did to her. That it was plausible. Is that all she needed? Therese hated the fact she wasn't quite sure if she was in a relationship with Richard or what it was. There's no need to do that now. Therese picks up the phone with trembling hands, such a realization that Carol Aird makes her feel so much.
"Hello?" Carol answers the phone, on the second ring. Therese breaths out and there's a silence that lets Therese know that Carol is already aware of who's on the other end of the line.
"Hello, Carol." Therese replies. "How about you come over to my place for dinner, say about six?" Therese closes her eyes and there's another pause but in it she pictured a smiling Carol. Therese didn't hesitate to make a move.
"I'd love to, darling." Carol's voice is happier than it had been on the trip, it's something Therese notices each time they speak now. It's the single reminder for Therese, that Carol gave up her fight for Rindy, didn't give into her demands from Hargess for the ability to be free. To be free to love Therese. So, Therese bids Carol a farewell with a smile and hangs up the phone. Decision finally made.