The Evolution Of Love, a naruto fanfic

Sorry I keep revising this story. I keep seeing things I want to add or fix. This is the last time, though…I think Enjoy!

.TheEvolutionOfLove.

.thefirstyear.

You're seventeen, and back in Konoha. You finally cleared the probation board.

And she is just slightly less annoying than she was back in the academy, you think. Though, that's a very chancy "slightly". She doesn't openly pine after you anymore, or insist on walking the same direction home after training sessions (despite her apartment being five blocks in the opposite direction), and she doesn't get angry when Naruto takes the seat next to you at Ichiraku… which is good. You'll give it to her: that's progress. But she still gives you that strange (annoying) smile of hers that makes you want to glare the hope (love) in it away; and she still leaves sliced tomatoes at your bedside when you end up in the hospital.

And that isn't good.

Sakura Haruno is still annoying because she doesn't give up. She doesn't know when to back down – and that's a life or death lesson as a ninja. You think someone as (supposedly) smart as she is shouldn't be so dumb about this. About you. Can't she see that you aren't interested? That you will never be interested?

You're standing on the bridge contemplating all this as she's giving you that smile again. It annoys you to be here alone with her. To make it worse, she's being quiet. Usually you would revel in the silence, but Sakura is never quiet (unless it's with you). You feel like, sometimes, her silence speaks more than any nonsensical thing that might fall out of her mouth. This thought is annoying in and of itself, because the younger you used to wish she would just shut up – but now that she has, you find yourself occasionally wishing she'd just say something.

Not to mention she's always first, which annoys you as well, because you pride yourself on your timeliness. What it means, though, is you're left alone with silent Sakura quite often around training times… and sometimes it's unnerving. Loud, obnoxious, stupid Sakura is the one you know how to handle. A few well-placed insults will get her off your back.

But quiet Sakura? An anomaly. You're lost.

Not that you would ever admit that.

Unwittingly, however, you've begun to notice her little habits from all the quiet time spent together, waiting for your forever-late teammates. Useless things like when she's upset, she crosses her arms; or when she's daydreaming, she twirls her hair. And sometimes, when she wants to say something but thinks better of it, she bites her lip to keep quiet; or how she drums her fingers to a particular cadence whenever she gets a bit anxious. Little things like this, things you never noticed before because she was too busy talking and you were too busy ignoring. Or maybe you two were never alone that much back then…

She's talking today though, interrupting your thoughts and greeting you suddenly (with her bright, bright colors and your dark, dark conscience, you think). She's got a smile like the interaction is completely normal. Like nothing happened, like you two aren't ninja and you didn't almost try to destroy Konoha and everyone she cares about. As if the two of you don't avoid each other like the plague – like you aren't an ass to her nearly every time you're together. Like you never tried to kill her, and she never thought about killing you, and the world is a perfect place; where she says hello to a friend, and you say hello back, and the two of you small talk about the weather…

Instead, you frown at her. "Hn."

Light fades from bright, bright green. Her smile dies and she turns towards the river.

Good, your dark, dark conscience thinks. You watch her stare silently across the water from the corner of your eye, her fingers drumming against the wood of the bridge. Good.

.thesecondyear.

You're eighteen. You're almost ANBU.

Sure, the village is still wary of you. But you're one of the best (the best, in your opinion) ninja Konoha has, and they can't afford to hold you back. Plus, you have the trust of your teammates, and you've found their words are held in high regard here. You'll never admit you're thankful. But maybe you are, because the three of them have helped you more than you expected.

Naruto, the idiot, is soon to be Hokage.

Kakashi (the other idiot) is now on the council (what's left of it, you think with a smirk) after turning down the offer to take Tsunade's position.

She is the highest ranking medic in the world.

And you are still the traitor. The last Uchiha. The only black mark on your team's impeccable record.

You're sent on missions that you never lead. You're spoken of in conversations as if you aren't standing in the same room. You walk through town with your teammates completely ignored, while they're greeted with thanks; with smiles; with free things ("No, no, it's on me. You saved our lives, it's the least I can do!"); with civilians who want them to bless their babies. Those types of idiotic things. But eyes always avoid you. You are never thanked, you are never given handouts, and mothers most certainly don't bring their offspring close to you.

It's a day like this, today. Naruto asked (insisted) you two escort Sakura to work before training, and your female teammate is stopped by a street vendor near the hospital. The elderly woman offers her a bag of fresh red apples with a half toothless grin. Sakura smiles graciously at the vendor, who is bowing and thanking and – you turn away with a glare. You won't waste your time watching the pathetic display. You'll be ignored, anyway. Townspeople love Sakura, with her pink hair and her healing hands.

But they don't know what you know. They don't know what kind of kunoichi she is. They don't know how easily her green eyes can break, or how quickly her emotions cause her to make mistakes. They don't know how many missions she's been a burden on. They don't know how many times she's failed where you would have succeeded. They know nothing, you think. If they knew, it wouldn't be her receiving gifts, you think. She's weak.

"No need to pay, Miss Haruno, it's my pleasure. After all, you very near brought my grandson back from the grave!"

The annoying one continues to insist with the money, the idiot is laughing about it, and all you want to do is to go chidori some trees. Suddenly she says your name (without the suffix now), so you force yourself to turn. You keep the glare though. Turning took enough effort. You pointedly look at the bag in her hands, hoping she'll read your thoughts on the injustice of this situation.

Her posture stiffens and you think she must have understood.

"Would you like some tomatoes? Ms. Sen here has the best in all of Konoha. I'll buy them for you," she says, glancing at the older woman with a quick smile, "In return for the apples."

She's biting her lip, and you're almost curious as to what more she wants to say. You decline the offer with a shake of your head. She shouldn't waste her money on tomatoes – because she wants to repay. She shouldn't waste her money on you. You don't say any of this though.

She shrugs and turns back to the vendor, starting in on a story about you and your favorite fruit. If you were a lesser man you might have been embarrassed by it. The woman chuckles at Sakura's words and seems to notice you for the first time. She looks you over cautiously.

"There's still no need to pay, Miss Haruno. I owe the Uchiha quite a lot as well… if he would like a bag of my tomatoes, he is welcome to them."

The idiot starts patting you on the back like you've accomplished something, and the annoying one is smiling brilliantly (annoyingly) at you from beside vendor cart. You wonder – as the old woman begins to put together a bag for you – if this civilian knew just how much cold blood is on your hands, would she so willingly show her back to you? She sees dark shadows, and she's heard stories, and knows you've been a "traitor"… But she's never seen how truly ruthless your eyes can bleed. She doesn't know you've laughed watching life fade from a man, or that you ran your blade through defenseless men who begged you for their lives. She doesn't know what kind of shinobi you are. She knows nothing, you think. If she knew, she wouldn't be giving you anything.

You're struck by the irony of your thoughts…

You leave the stall with a dozen tomatoes, two satisfied teammates, and the feeling of the first civilian since your return to thank you.

.thethirdyear.

You're nineteen, and the idiot tells you first.

She's going on a mission. It's the first solo mission she's taken since the war. Now that the hospital is rebuilt and the staff is adequate again, she doesn't need to spend every second of her life there anymore. She was being over-worked anyway, you think. She was the only competent ninja in that place for far too long. She needs to take better care of herself before worrying about caring for others. This mission will be good for her. Sakura needs a break from the hospital.

You wonder why you thought any of that.

"She's going to Suna for a year, to train their medical staff."

Naruto looks sad. You stare at him like he grew two heads. Sakura is leaving Konoha for a year? She is the last person you expected to take on an extended mission. She takes her work too seriously; she loves her town too much. She loves her team (you) too much. While you hardly regard her as more than a teammate, you (unwillingly!) know her quite well (as was only bound to happen being on the same team, you think) and it hurts your pride to be wrong about these things. Or anything, for that matter.

She is quite annoying.

"There's a party tonight for her. I'll come get you at 8!"

True to his word, the (very, very) soon-to-be Hokage is yanking you into a bar later that night.

It's like the whole town came out to drink Sakura goodbye. You knew it would be this way though, everyone loves your teammates. You feel out of place; being around all these people, and being here because it's for her. It's not like you've been pleasant to her in the past few years. You really can't remember the last time you all had a conversation lasting longer than a minute.

In fact, the last time you two spoke last week, she had tried to heal the nasty cut she managed to give you on your temple… Tried, because you stopped her feet with your Sharingan before she could touch you. It's an unwritten rule that during training you can't offensively use your eyes. But you were angry that she had nearly beat you, and – the nerve of that woman! – trying to heal you afterwards?

Your pride just wouldn't allow it.

You can still see the look in her eyes as you glared at her frozen in spot. Even now, eight days later, it shines bright as the moment it happened. She hasn't spoken to you since, but you've heard enough of it from Naruto about how much of an "asshole" you are, and how you "broke the team code."

You are probably the last person she wants to see tonight, you figure. But you sit at the far edge of the bar in the corner and stay anyway, because you told Naruto you would. He said she'd be happy you came. He's an idiot, but he's (they're) the closest thing to family you've had in a long time. While you doubt she's very happy with you at the moment, you don't want to give her more fuel for her hate fire.

You sip on your drink and watch the drunken shinobi. If you were a different man this wouldn't be so difficult, you think. You see pink floating around the crowd and don't deny that she looks very pretty tonight.

You would, however, deny it if anyone were to actually ask. She's wearing a white dress that you suspect her annoying best friend forced on. Her hair, while still annoyingly pink, is pulled up in a messy way that makes you forget about the color of it for a brief second. Sakura Haruno is a very attractive woman, you suddenly realize. You chug your drink to erase that thought as soon as it flies through your mind.

Eventually she finds her way to you, smelling like liquor, smiling annoyingly. She leans towards you and it's almost like she might give you a hug; but you flinch away and she pulls back at that. She doesn't seem angry with you anymore, and that alone tells you it must be the drink, not Sakura, who's talking to you right now.

She wants to know if you remember when she offered to leave Konoha with you. For you. You feel slightly awkward and decide not to answer, thinking to yourself she's irrational for asking such a question at this point in your lives. What was that – six, seven years ago? You frown, of course. That's the only way you know how to deal with her anymore.

Then green is looking over your shoulder and she's frowning too. "Here I am now, leaving for myself…and yet, still for you." She stops twirling a strand of curled pink, looking you dead in the eye. "How pathetic."

Sakura walks away, leaving you off-balance. You finish your drink and walk out, unable to make yourself annoyed with her words. Instead, you feel guilty. Suddenly, you feel like the irrational one, and you don't understand why.

.thefourthyear.

You're twenty.

You're no longer a teenager. You've lived two entire decades, and all you have to show for it is a rather impressive successful missions ratio, and a huge, empty district all to yourself, guarded by gates marked with the Uchiha crest.

You've started thinking about what your idiot sensei told you all those years ago.

You've started thinking about the symbol you wear on your back.

You're starting to think about life after being a ninja.

But honestly, you haven't really thought about her in months. Sometimes you see a flash of pink or red and déjà vu hits, but the last "conversation" the two of you had still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth when you recall it. You've yet to understand why, and try instead to keep it out of mind. Today you're reminded of her though, as Naruto is dragging up ghosts from the past. The two of them correspond in letters every week.

He stopped telling you about what she was writing after the first two months. You like it better this way. She isn't here, but she'll be back, and that's all you really need to know. But he's upset. He came to your house, and he's telling you about her most recent letter. Apparently, she's coming home next week.

Good, you think, for reasons not including her presence back in Konoha. You'll be on a mission in Sound next week, and therefore won't be forced to take part in the welcoming party. You will deal with that yourself, when it's the two of you, alone – waiting for your teammates like you always seemed to do with her. Then (and only then, when you are completely alone) you'll be slightly more cordial with her, you've decided. You'll tell her "Welcome back," because she's your teammate, after all, whom you haven't seen in a year. You might be cold-hearted, but it's still there… somewhere. You might even apologize for the last sparring match you two had, because sometimes you see green and betrayal and hurt in your dreams and knows it's her, stuck in place, trying to heal you. You haven't decided on that part yet, though.

You ask why he's upset, if she's apparently coming home (though in far less syllables).

"'Cause she said she's coming to talk to Tsunade about her mission…"

You nod. Her return is ideal at this point, because you've also realized you far prefer her as your medic; though you won't ever say that aloud. After dealing with a number of other medics in her absence, you really can't deny that she's the best, anymore. She, perhaps, isn't as weak as you previously presumed.

"She said she likes it there …"

Now you're confused. Sakura likes it in Suna? Away from Konoha? Away from yo-…her team?

"She wants to extend her mission another year!"

He's staring at you like your mirror.

And suddenly… you've started to think about Sakura.

.thefifthyear.

You're twenty-one, and you are completely speechless for the first time in your life.

You've never been a man of many words, but at least you always had a grunt to give. Now, not even. It's the first time you've seen her since she left on her mission, and here she is, in the Hokage's office. She's as vibrant and colorful as you remember. Naruto is behind his desk (yes, his desk) looking as bewildered as you feel. You came to give the report for your last mission. Instead, you're greeted with long pink. And green.

And it's been two years.

…And she's brought someone with her.

She's looking over her shoulder at you, and you remember this scene from years ago. When it was you looking back at her on a dark cobbled road by the gates of the city. The smile she gives you is different than the one you remember her wearing for you. Everything about her is a bit different than you remember, now that you're really looking. She looks a bit curvier, her hair is longer, her skin is tanner, and her eyes…

"You remember Kankuro, don't you, Sasuke?"

Her eyes have never looked as bright as when she turns to the man on her left and smiles the annoying smile you've been remembering since she decided to stay in Suna.

…and it doesn't annoy you for the same reason anymore.

.thesixthyear.

You're twenty-two, and you're (finally) leading your first team.

But you are about 98.3% sure that Naruto did this on purpose. Whether for his amusement or because he's trying to prove a point, you haven't decided. All you know is this has got to be some level of torture hell might use when you die.

You're the leader of a border patrol mission – with Karin and Sakura. You know it makes sense to have a medic and a sensor on the team in these types of missions. You know you requested to lead your next mission. But there are at least a hundred different people Naruto could have assigned to your team. There is no way (NO possible WAY) this was a coincidence.

You haven't seen Sakura without her boy-toy (you refuse to acknowledge him as the 'friend who is a boy' word) in months.

You just saw Karin last night, when she offered and you didn't deny.

Perhaps if Naruto knew what (who) you had done the night before (or any number of others you've been with in the past few months), he wouldn't have done this to you. But the idiot thinks you're an idiot for letting Sakura be with that piece of dirt from the Sand. He thinks you two just need time together. He thinks Sakura needs to realize she's still in love with you, and you need to realize that you love her, and you two are meant to be together, and she'll leave that tattoo boy for you, and you'll kiss and make up and marry and have lots of little Uchiha babies with pink hair and dark eyes and he'll be the godfather.

No, really. He's told you this multiple times in the past year. You couldn't make that stuff up yourself.

This is what you're thinking about as you and your (annoying) team set up camp for the night. Karin only looks away from you to glare at Sakura, and Sakura hasn't so much as turned her head in your direction since the gates. She's drumming her fingers against her thigh by the campfire. An oddly familiar habit.

"I'll take first watch," it's the first time you've spoken all mission.

"I'll go second! You can wake me up any time though, Sasuke-kun," Karin winks at you.

But you're caught completely off guard by the scoff you hear from across the fire. Sakura is glaring at Karin, and then she's glaring at you. Her green eyes hold yours like a challenge. She knows about you and Karin, you think. You don't know how, but she knows. Then she's standing up and crossing her arms and you remember that habit too; something you learned about her years ago, when you two were alone quite often.

You don't know why, but you feel bad. You feel like you have to explain, or ask why she looks so angry. It's not like she's still in love with you, it's not like she isn't doing anything – isn't doing that trash she brought back from Suna – ask why she's pretending to still care, or why it matters at all to her what you do. Ask her if she even does care. Ask her just to make sure that you still know her as well as you once did.

You wonder why you care to know any of that.

"No, you will take third. Sakura will take second."

She whirls back around. Her mouth is slightly open in surprise and that's not a habit you knew she had, but you find your mind already recording it against your will. You feel strange, you feel like you're on the verge of something. You feel. You feel, and that annoys you. Thank you… The phrase pops up in your mind and makes you frown at her like you remember doing so many times before. You turn towards your sleeping bag, wondering why you opened your mouth in the first place.

You feel like Sakura is still the most annoying woman you've ever met.

.theseventhyear.

You're twenty-three. You're still single.

It's three in the morning, and she's outside your door, drunk and crying and telling you that now she's single. She tells you how she's been at the bar. Her words are slurring. She can't go to Kakashi's because he's on a mission, she says, and she can't go to Naruto's because he's at the Hyyuga compound.

"Ino?"

"The baby," she sobs, and you see red (murder, death, revenge) when she explains how she can't go home because the piece of trash from the Sand broke up with her and kicked her out of her own apartment because of yo-

She stops, eyes wide, before crying even harder.

You've never let anyone stay the night in the main house.

You let her in.

She slides in past you with a quiet, "Thank you, Sasuke."

.theeighthyear.

You're twenty-four and Naruto just threatened to exile you from the village.

You smirk. He wants to know the details but you don't answer. You don't know why he seems so angry, when this is what he's wanted all along. It finally happened last night, a whole year after tattoo boy left back to Suna.

"You can't just have sex with Sakura!"

The hell you can't. You did. And it was great. Much better than any other woman you've been with. Your smirk grows. You never knew she had it in her, but you don't deny that you've been thinking about tearing her clothes off and finding out for quite some time. You'll definitely be seeing her more often than the rest, you think.

"Jealous?"

Your best friend is glaring bloody murder at you. "Of course not. You forget I'm engaged or something, teme? I mean you can't just have sex with her."

"You said that."

"I'm serious!"

"Isn't this what you wanted, dobe?"

And then, for the first time in your entire life, Naruto makes you feel like the dobe.

"No, I didn't want this. I mean – goddamn it, Sasuke – you just waltzed in here and announced you 'fucked' Sakura! If that's all she is to you, just another fuck, then stay the hell away from her. That girl is all the family I have left, and I care about her. I thought you did too. But if you're just gonna jerk her around, well, I will not let that happen. I refuse to allow you to use her."

He looks serious for the first time in a long time. He looks like the Hokage. "Do you understand me, Sasuke?"

You feel like this is three years ago, in this very office. When you were standing just behind the chair you're sitting in now, watching Sakura smile your smile at someone else. Only now Naruto is you, and you're Kankuro, and he's saying all the things you were thinking of telling the sand trash that day (had you been a man of words, which you aren't).

Naruto has always been the mirror of the things you yourself could never show.

"Do you understand?" He repeats.

You never did like being patronized, especially by Naruto, but you nod. You understand.

.theninthyear.

You're twenty-five and you have no clue what you're doing.

You two haven't spoken in months. She found out about the girl from Mist. You and her had an understanding, though. She said she didn't want any strings attached. She told you she didn't have those types of feelings for you anymore, and you believed it. She hasn't given you that smile in six years (not since her party in the bar and you still don't know why you felt so guilty from her words). She doesn't leave things on your hospital bedside. She never even hinted at wanting more.

You two talked about this a year ago after your come-to-Jesus talk with Naruto. You two were clear. You and Sakura were nothing more than teammates with benefits, and it was a mutual and mutually beneficial agreement. So you thought.

But she hasn't spoken to you since she found out, and it's bothering you. You miss her…in your bed, that is. That's all. Really, you think, that's really the only reason. She's the best, and you find you keep comparing the others to her, and you're starting to miss her – it! You're starting to miss it!

…You really have no clue what you're doing.

But it's midnight and you're standing outside the hospital because you know her shift just ended, and she's been avoiding you for three months now, and you can never find any other time when you're completely alone with her to talk about it. Because…well, you really aren't sure why you're out here. But you are, and you're already at a loss of what's supposed to happen when she comes out of those doors.

The longer it goes (with you two passing on the street like strangers) the more you think about it. The more you feel about it – and you remember why this woman is so damn annoying.

Did she lie when she said she was okay with not being serious?

You were angry the first time you thought that; thought that she was lying to you. Your anger became confusion a few weeks later. Why would she lie about that? After all, she was the first one to say it was only sex. You brought the matter to her, you asked what she expected out of the situation, and she said she wanted nothing more than a little fun. And yet, here you are now, feeling like you need to talk to her; feeling like this has gone on long enough; feeling like you want her to say she was lying…

And you have no clue why.

You're so caught up in your thoughts that you miss her step out of the double glass doors. You miss her stop in her tracks, mouth slightly open. You miss her cross her arms, and bite her lip, and drum her fingers against her upper arm. You miss her slowly walk up to you.

You miss her, you think. You're finally thinking.

"What are you doing here?"

You're asking yourself the same damn thing. Can she read your mind?

You look in to green (green, green) eyes and they haven't looked that sad since the day she begged you to stay, when she wanted to forsake her village, all for you. When she was willing to leave everything behind for a depressed, angry, lonely, lost little boy.

Suddenly, you think you know why you felt so irrational back at her party. You think you know why you're here now. You think you know why you thought that smile was so "annoying"; why you wanted to murder that boy from Suna for making her cry; why you felt lost when Naruto told you she was leaving, and told you she was staying there; and why you only ever knew how to frown at her when you weren't thinking.

You think you know what you were thanking her for all those years ago.

It looks like she wants to cry. You've never been a man of many words.

"Were you lying?" But you can try. "Because I've been lying to myself for a long time, Sakura."

The world stops for a few seconds as she stares at you, cogs whirling in her mind; and you stare back, willing her to figure out what you're trying to say. If you were another man this might have been easier, you think. Then she's starting to cry, and you're worried. She didn't understand. But slowly, ever so slowly, her lips turn up and she's smiling. Her eyes are shining and it's there (after so many years), that smile, the one you once found so annoying is creeping on her face. You've never felt so dumb as now, wondering why you ever found something so beautiful so annoying.

You don't want to frown this time. You don't want to glare what that smile holds away anymore.

Sakura is hugging you, and crying, and "Yes, Sasuke-kun, I lied, I was lying!" She kisses you, hard, for the first time in months; and it doesn't feel as hollow as the ones you remember sharing under silk sheets and drunken nights. She's looking at you again, and her (once annoying) smile is telling you everything it always has, ever since she was swearing to keep you happy that night, long ago.

I love you, Sasuke-kun.

.thetenthyear.

You're twenty-six.

And you're staring at the most beautiful woman you've ever known. It took you quite a while to realize that, didn't it? If you were a different man, would it have taken so long? You wonder, had life gone any other direction, would you have ended up here beside her, or would you have never worked out why you once thought Sakura was so annoying? Would you have continued being each other's nothing? If you hadn't let her teach you how to accept love, to be loved, to love again... where would you be?

You wonder how you, the avenger, the traitor, managed to get so lucky. But, you suppose, if you were any other man you would've never gotten this girl. She looks perfect, smiling your smile up at you, and you wonder what took you so damn long. But you thank Kami it happened at all.

You slide the gold band on to her finger. "I do."

You kiss her without waiting for the priest to tell you to do so. People are clapping and cheering (you hear Naruto yell, "I told you! I TOLD YOU!") and you bet no one in the room (besides Naruto) thought they would see the day Sakura Haruno became Sakura Uchiha.

But she is now.

She's yours.

("NOW MAKE ME A GODFATHER, TEME!")

She pulls away, "I love you, Sasuke-kun." Her smile tells you she isn't lying, that she's never lied about this. Maybe you never lied about it either, though. Maybe it was just different words back then, spoken by a boy who didn't think, who didn't understand.

Thank you. "I love you too, Sakura."

The mood hit me to write, so I did. Feedback is always appreciated :)

..so please review? please? :)

-starry