Title: Matters of the Heart

Author: Rawker Demyx

Pairing: Sheppard/Lorne

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: I do not own or am in any way affiliated with Stargate Atlantis, nor am I being paid for this. This work of fiction is simply for the enjoyment of fans.

Note: This is being cross-posted to my LJ (.com/), Wraithbait (under Astrophysicist), and (under Rawker Demyx).

*****

"Whoa," was the only thing to come out of John's mouth. The wall of the cave, or rather the hologram disguised as a cave wall, had simply dissolved away as he passed by it.

"'Whoa' what? Please qualify the 'whoa,'" the agitation in Rodney McKay's voice apparent. If you deprived him of food for even a few hours, he became a force even the Wraith would not want to reckon with.

"'Whoa' holographically disguised cave wall 'whoa,' Rodney! What does it matter? Just, 'whoa!'" John called back over his shoulder. He felt more than heard McKay come up behind him and then vaguely saw the Ancient scanner the scientist was carrying waving around out of the corner of his eye. His gaze was drawn to the darkness of the recently revealed…what the hell is this?

"This probably explains those faint energy readings I picked up…hm…now that the hologram's off, no more energy readings…no life signs…" McKay mumbled as he switched through the various functions of the hand-held device.

John raised his P-90 and turned on the light to get a better view inside. "Well," he said, "the hologram was definitely there to hide something. Let's take a look inside…" He added as an afterthought, "Teyla, Ronon, you two keep a lookout here."

As soon as John walked past where the false wall had been, lights suddenly sprang to life overhead. He froze in his tracks and said over his shoulder, "Well, this feels familiar."

"Yeah, certainly seems Ancient."

It was surprises like this that John found worrisome. Finding random, hidden Ancient things did not usually bode well, least of all for him; he seemed to be a magnet for Ancient trouble. Keeping his P-90 raised in front of him, he pressed on into the darkness still in front of them.

Lights continued to activate the further he walked into what he was quickly hoping turned out to be less exciting than his morning coffee. Finally, an array of computer consoles and screens illuminated along a wall facing the wall entrance.

Looking over his shoulder at his teammate, John couldn't help but feel that Rodney looked like a kid in a candy store. "Any idea what this place is?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," McKay said, the astounded look still on his face.

"Well, maybe you should find out…" John urged.

"Oh…right." McKay scurried over to the nearest console and started hooking up his computer to the Ancient system.

John swept his gaze around the room to make sure he had not missed anything on their way in, but all he saw were the computers and the screens, all of which had the Ancient language scrolling across them.

McKay looked up form his computer with a triumphant look on his face. "It's definitely an Ancient lab."

John gave him an exasperated look and said, "Okay, Rodney…but what kind of lab? Did they study cute, little animals or bioweapons? We don't have the best of luck with places like this, you know." McKay's expression quickly deflated and he mumbled something about how he would figure it out. John left him to his devices and kept a lookout around the seemingly empty laboratory just in case there were any nasty surprises.

A few more minutes passed and John had not suddenly melted into a pile of protoplasm, so he started to think that maybe this time would be different. As he began to let his P-90 fall to his side, he instantly regretted it as soon as he heard a sort of distant humming sound coming from somewhere above him and when he looked up he was nearly blinded by a bright light. He could distantly hear Rodney yelling something to him, but he couldn't make it out really as the humming got louder and then he was suddenly flat on his back lying on the floor.

John cracked open his eyes a little bit and was instantly regretful due to the brilliance of the lights overhead that seared his retinas. Trying a second time, a little more slowly though, he could make out the forms of Rodney and Teyla standing above him looking concerned.

"John," Teyla said in her softest, most concerned voice, "are you feeling alright?"

"What the hell just happened?" He groaned out while trying to get off of the ground. Just like opening his eyes, his first attempt at this was somewhat unsuccessful, but, the second time, the Athosian woman grabbed one of his hands and put her other hand on his shoulder to support him while she helped him sit up. He took a look around himself and did not see anything out of the ordinary, except that he had been lying on the ground just a moment ago. Teyla and Ronon had apparently come into the lab at some point after he lost consciousness and while Teyla was making sure he was unharmed, Ronon stood guard just inside the lab entrance. He had apparently been pulled clear of the center of the lab and the others seemed to be giving it a wide berth.

Rodney had that grin on his face that he got when he thought he was being quite funny, "Well, you woke up is what just happened. Now, twenty minutes ago on the other hand…"

"Dr. Beckett should be here any minute, Colonel," Teyla told him reassuringly.

John shook his head, slowly though so as not to upset his burgeoning headache, and said, "No, no…I'm fine." He paused a second thinking back on what he could remember. "Rodney…you said twenty minutes? What was that?"

McKay suddenly went into excited scientist mode and began to explain, "Well, there's a ring platform in the ceiling, and—"

"Ring platform?" Ronon interrupted.

"Well, we haven't seen any in Pegasus before…" McKay reasoned. "It's something the Ancients invented that works kind of like the stargate, except over much shorter distances." He pointed up to the ceiling, "These rings, each one looks a bit like a the 'gate, drop down, or sometimes come up from the floor, form a stack, deconstruct everything inside, then transport the matter stream to another ring platform which then reintegrates the stream into the original person or object."

"And that means…?" Ronon prompted with a bewildered look.

"What I think Dr. McKay means is that it is a transportation device of some kind," Teyla translated. John knew she did not have an understanding of the inner workings of the technology itself, and for that matter neither did he, but she had made friends with several of the scientists over the past couple years and could at least interpret what McKay was saying.

After Teyla's diplomatic translation, Ronon gave McKay a blank stare and simply said, "So, it moves people around."

"Well, yes," McKay said, that exasperated tone he had coming out, "but it's a bit more complicated than that."

Ignoring McKay's superior attitude, as they were all used to it by now anyway, Ronon asked, "Then where did Sheppard just go?"

"Well, he…" McKay's voice trailed off and he was obviously trying to decide if the embarrassment of admitting he did not know the answer to Ronon's question was worth satisfying his curiosity. Being a scientist, he obviously decided it was, "Yeah, where did you go?"

"I was unconscious, Rodney!" John gritted through his teeth.

"Oh…right," McKay sheepishly mumbled.

"Had another wee bump on the head did we, Colonel?" Beckett asked smiling as he strolled into the lab, he medical bag swinging gently at his side. He did not seem to be in too much of a hurry to get to the there, so the others must have told him that John did not seem too injured.

"Yeah…um…what? I'm a colonel?" John asked with a dazed expression on his face. He had to suppress a grin as the good doctor's eyes widened and he looked to each of John's teammates for confirmation. "Sorry, Doc…just a little chronically injured patient humor."

"Oh," Beckett started, "aye, I'll give yeh chronically injured," he joked good-naturedly. He pulled out his penlight from his bag and started to shine it in each of John's eyes in turn. John resisted the urge to groan and wince in response to the light flooding his eyes and instead let the doctor get on with his examination; he figured some momentary discomfort was preferred over undiagnosed blunt force trauma.

"So, what happened to him, Rodney?" Beckett asked while looking for any physical marks to explain why John had blacked out.

"He doesn't know, Doc…" John answered before McKay had a chance to make himself seem more important.

The physicist scurried quickly back to his computer and the Ancient console and called back over his shoulder, "I'm working on it!"

"Colonel," Beckett said, "I wanna get yeh back to the infirmary to do some scans, just to be safe. Think yeh can walk to the stargate?"

"Yeah," John muttered, managing to stand up without any assistance, but a small stumble belied his assurance. He recovered and pressed on, "Yeah, I think I can do it just fine." He thought for a second and then added, "Teyla, Ronon, you two stay here with McKay."

"Of course," Teyla replied in her typical, business-like way.

A grunt was the only acknowledgment John got from the large Satedan. With a sympathetic smirk on his lips, John told him, "Be good, Chewie."

John and Beckett made their way from the concealed laboratory in the general direction of the stargate, their pace a bit slower than normal, but John did not want to push himself too hard without knowing what exactly happened to him in the lab to leave him feeling not quite himself. If Carson noticed the slowed stride, and John was sure that he had picked up on it, being the skilled, observant physician that he was, he did not comment. It had been about a forty minute leisurely walk for his team to make it from the 'gate to the cave where the lab was hidden, so he figured they were about halfway along the well-worn path through the coniferous forest before he said, "Wait a minute, how did you get here so quickly? Everyone was still in the lab when I came to and there was no way they had enough time to get back here, dial the 'gate, and radio Atlantis for help."

"Aye," Beckett acknowledged, "but Dr. Weir wanted to let you know that the Daedalus had just returned from their Milky Way run. Teyla told her that you had lost consciousness and that I should come check you over as soon as I could get here. Not knowing your exact condition, bless them but none of your team has any real medical training, I ran from the 'gate to the cave, Teyla giving me directions the whole way."

"Oh," was the only response John could think to say, not that he was ungrateful towards the doctor for his passionate professionalism, he just did not know how to really express his thanks. He decided to just be straightforward and muttered, "Thanks." The sluggishness that accompanied forced unconsciousness was wearing off and he managed to pick up the pace a little bit, eager to get back to the city and put this place behind him. He could not quite figure out why, but after the incident in the lab, he had been feeling a little unnerved.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, not quite comfortable but not awkward either, and finally arrived at the stargate. The good doctor dialed the address for Atlantis while John pushed his identification code into his GDO so they did not end up smashed into oblivion against the 'gate shield on the other side.

"I'm almost positive I can remember my code," he joked, shooting a lopsided grin in Beckett's direction to let him know it was in jest.

The Scot directed his eyes skyward and gave a little moan before he said, "I don't wanna think about what would happen if you didn't…"

John's GDO gave the all-clear signal to indicate the shield was down and they would not die a few seconds after stepping through into the wormhole. The two men stepped closer to the portal and John took a moment to look at the ripples in the puddle before stepping through. While he loved traveling to other worlds, exploring new lands and meeting new peoples, he did not particularly enjoy the sensation of 'gate travel itself. He did not hate it per se, but he found the experience a little disconcerting as the world and all sensation seemed to slip away once you stepped through the event horizon. But, in the blink of an eye, he was standing in the Control Center in the central spire of Atlantis and the wormhole was disintegrating behind him.

Dr. Weir was waiting by the 'gate for them to return, the expression on her face a little anxious, while a nurse with a gurney was standing next to her. He could see the diplomat taking inventory of him, making sure he was not missing any limbs or bleeding all over her city before that worried countenance disappeared.

"Elizabeth," John offered as a greeting, his usual smirk slipping into place: the picture of normalcy.

"John, what happened this time?" She asked, her voice now somewhat exasperated rather than anxious.

"Boy takes team on mission, scientist finds Ancient lab, boy ends up passed out on the floor. Same old story really," John drawled, trying to act nonchalant about the whole ordeal. He saw Beckett wave off the nurse with the gurney out of the corner of his eye.

Weir gave him a look which said, "I find this to be rather serious, so why don't you?" But, instead of pressing the issue, knowing it would never really get her anywhere, she just turned to Beckett and said, "Let me know what you find."

Beckett just nodded his head and, together, the two of them walked out of the Control Center and down the adjacent corridor towards the nearest transporter. There were a few people milling about, going through the daily activities of research and exploration of the Ancient city, some of them just enjoying some time off, but nothing really out of the ordinary. He could hear rushed footsteps getting closer though and when a frazzled looking scientist turned the corner and came running in their general direction, that is when it suddenly happened.

John suddenly felt very anxious, nervous really, and tense all over. It was that feeling like there was not enough time for him to finish something, something very, very important, and he did not know what to do about it. It was that feeling you got when you knew you had screwed up so bad that maybe, just maybe, you had ruined everything you really wanted. He had had that feeling enough times at the Air Force Academy to recognize it and more than enough times to know he did not want to feel that way again.

His breathing had sped up and he could feel his heart hammering away inside his chest. Distantly, he was aware of Carson talking to him, the doctor's hand gently placed on his arm, asking him if he was alright, but he could not seem to bring him self to answer back. Time seemed to slow down and his gaze felt pulled to the scientist as she rushed past. He vaguely thought she looked familiar, that he had maybe seen her working in McKay's lab sometime, but what struck him mostly was the expression on her face: it mirrored exactly the feelings that were running through him.

He might not be the most comfortable person when it came to talking about emotions, he just did not do it at all truth be told, but he did have them and he had been trained to read other people's faces, to recognize what was going through their minds. All of his training told him that this woman was very nervous, anxious, and was in a desperate hurry.

His eyes followed her as she disappeared around a corner and as suddenly as it began, the feeling went away. The world seemed to come back into focus and John could feel his heart rate begin to slow while he worked on taking deep, relaxing breaths. The last vestiges of anxiety ebbed away and it was almost as if it had not happened at all. After composing himself completely, he looked towards Beckett and saw the look of concern in his eyes. In fact, John was concerned too, and a part of him hoped that McKay would be coming back soon with some answers from that lab.

"Come on, Colonel, we need to get you under the scanner," Beckett told him. His hand was still on John's arm as he guided him to the transporter.

The door to closet-sized room opened as the two men approached and they quickly stepped inside. Beckett hurriedly pushed the icon on the computer panel nearest the infirmary and, for a moment, the doors closed. When they opened again, it was to show a distinctly different corridor, albeit similar in style to the one in which they had just been standing. The most remarkable difference though was that there were no more people wandering about in this one.

The infirmary itself was rather deserted. It seemed to be a fairly quiet day in the city, a nice change from the usual myriad of injuries, illnesses, and accidental brushes with alien technology that seemed to plague the Atlantis Expedition. Of course, John mused, he of all people would be the exception to an otherwise calm day.

He lied down on the diagnostic table underneath the scanner and watched as the doctor stepped over in front of the computer station designed to interface with it. "Try to hold still now, Colonel."

"Doc," he said, "I've been in here enough times to know the drill."

"Aye, I'm aware of just how many times you've been in here, son." The Scot's accent seemed to be getting more intense as he got worked up, the same as he always did in urgent situations. Knowing how to read the doctor's mannerisms, John found it touching how much the man cared for all of them.

The green light of the scanner activated and John sat as still as possible as it moved slowly down, parallel to his body, before changing directions and coming back up again. John found the wait to be almost interminable, but he actually knew that the scanner was quite efficient at what it did and it was really just his own aversion to sitting still that was the problem.

His first indication that this was not going to be one of the more cut and dry medical problems that happened in the Pegasus galaxy was the sigh he heard escape the doctor's lips. "Well," he started, "the scanner doesn't show any differences between now and your last physical." The Scot grabbed a stool and brought it over to sit down next to the table on which John was lying. He sat up and let his legs hang over the edge of the table while the doctor continued, "Can you tell me what happened back there in the hallway?"

John had known this was coming, of course the Carson would ask that, he would be negligent if he did not, but that did not mean the John was comfortable talking about it. He compromised with himself and said, "I don't know. I just…I felt out of breath. And…not really dizzy or anything, but like the world was…" He paused for a second before hesitantly continuing, "Slowing down? I don't know how to describe it really." He did not say anything about the scientist that had rushed past him at the time. John did not have any reason to think that she was in some way related to what he had felt, but some part of himself told him that that was the case.

"Well, just to be safe, we're going to do a full work up on you, but I don't really know if we'll find anything the scanner didn't," Carson told him.

Beckett released him to his quarters about an hour later. The doctor had some samples of his blood to analyze and wanted to go over his medical history in detail before trying to diagnose what this latest run in with Ancient technology may have done to him, but in the meantime he did not see anything that gave him reason to keep John under lock and key in the infirmary. The doctor just made John promise to call him if anything else happened like the episode in the hallway. In the meantime, he was ordered to get some rest and wait for Rodney to get back from the planet, hopefully with some useful information from the lab's computers.

The door to his quarters slid open at his approach and, as he walked through, he reached out a hand to activate the lock. Satisfied that he would not be disturbed by any number of people simply barging into his room to inform him the city was about to be destroyed, he sat on his bed and unlaced his boots, kicking them off and watching them land in the corner nearest the door.

With a groan, he lied down on he bed and absently thought about picking up War and Peace, but he felt so exhausted that he did not even need the heavy Russian literature to send him off to sleep. His eyes slipped closed and his breathing eventually slowed while he entered the world of dreams where, contrary to his normal, everyday life, nothing exciting ever happened.

*****

Notes: Lorne will make an appearance in the next chapter, I swear! I just had a lot of setting up to do. Please let me know what you think!