Hey people! I know I haven't posted anything in a while and I'm super sorry. I just started college and I'm just starting to adjust so hopefully I'll have something up soon. Anyhow, this actually is NOT my one-shot...my author friend/real life friend wrote this as a present for me being the awesome author that I am and for beta-ing all of her fics. Well, she decided that it wasn't funny enough for me, and so she had me make my own gift funnier so now I get to edit and basically write my own present...Isn't she thoughtful? Well, I hope you enjoy it cuz know I did ;


"Stupid Age line," George muttered. Fred patted his back, hiding his amusement.

"At least there's Angelina to represent Gryffindor," Fred said. George gave him an annoyed look.

"That's not the point," George said impatiently. Fred raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, then what is the point, little brother?" Fred said, smiling widely. George sighed.

"The point is, since we couldn't even get our names into the cup, our chances of getting the prize money went down to zero."

"That's your problem?" Fred asked dryly. George glared at him. "You're upset about the money?"

"Well, how else are we going to start the joke shop?" George asked, glaring at him. Fred smiled serenely at him.

"Simple." George blinked at him. Fred reached over and pinched his brother's cheek. "We're going to start selling what we have."

"They aren't finished yet," George protested, rubbing his cheek.

"Then we'll finish them, sell them, and then keep making more," Fred replied, pulling his twin to his feet and dragging him towards the Great Hall.

"They still have to be tested, you know," George reminded him.

"Then we'll test them."

"Safely?"

"What? Oh, of course," Fred said hastily. George rolled his eyes, and yanked his arm back from Fred before he started shoving his older brother through the double doors.

••••••

"The first official trial of the canary cream; the tester today will be Fred Weasley, the elder sibling of the more handsome George Weasley, and–"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," George said hastily, scratching out the last line, before giving Fred an innocent smile. Fred gave him a skeptical look, but decided to ignore it in favor of staring at a custard cream sitting innocently on a plate in front of him. "Are you ready?" Fred sighed.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Fred replied, picking up the snack. Hesitating for a second, he took a big bite of the custard cream and began to chew. George grinned as Fred, in a few seconds, sprouted feathers. A minute later, Fred molted and his grin matched George.

"Success?"

"Success," Fred confirmed. George made a few notes on the parchment.

"When should we start putting it out?" George asked, looking up from the parchment. "Lee suggested immediately, but I think we should wait."

"Why?" Fred asked, looking at him curiously. George grinned.

"I think that the next time there's a party, we bring these out with the help of someone…" Fred thought for a moment before grinning.

"I like that idea, but we'll need to make more before we can start." George nodded.

"We need more funds though…" George trailed off at the look on Fred's face.

"If we could just–" George cut him off.

"We're underage. We weren't supposed to be gambling in the first place," George said impatiently. "If we press charges, we'll get into trouble as well." Fred groaned with frustration.

"What do we do then?" Fred snapped. George avoided his gaze.

"Nothing. There's nothing short of blackmail that'll work with him."

"Blackmail…" George looked to see an odd gleam in Fred's eyes. "Now there's an idea…." George stood up and walked over to his brother and turned him so they were facing each other.

"A month ago, you were the one to tell me that we could easily make money from just selling our stuff. What happened to that attitude?" George demanded.

"I know, but there was always the chance that Bagman made a mistake and would give us the real money."

"He won't so there's no point in thinking about it." Fred reluctantly nodded. George patted him on the head. "Good boy."

"Bark." George snorted. "I feel like pranking someone right now," Fred said. George gave him a blank look.

"Who?" Fred gave him a sly smirk.

"Ronnie," Fred said simply. George blinked.

"Why?"

"He's acting like a jealous prat to Harrykins, and it's starting to annoy me." George shrugged.

"Meh, why not."

••••••

Noticing something, Fred stood up, and grabbed George's arm, sloshing his butterbeer.

"Ow! What!"

"Bagman, straight ahead," Fred answered. George looked around and spotted Bagman sitting at a table with some goblins, talking in low voices.

"He looks busy," George said uncertainly, looking at the goblins. Fred's lips tightened.

"Wanna bet he has some unpaid dues with them, too?" he asked. George grimaced.

"I'd rather not get into the whole gambling business again, if you don't mind." Fred shrugged.

"Fair enough." They watched as Bagman got up and headed towards the other side of the bar. Moving forward, they both cut him off. "Mr. Bagman, a word?" Fred said. Bagman sneered at them.

"Not now boys, I'm busy."

"But–" Bagman walked away from them as Fred glared after him. "I say we blackmail him now," Fred hissed. George eyed him wearily.

"Now, now. Let's not be hasty," George said. Fred wasn't in the slightest bit calmed.

••••••

"I really don't want to go into class today," Fred groaned. George gave him a sympathetic look.

"I know, but we have to go eventually," he said. Fred sighed.

"I'd wish I was sick, but I'd rather have Mum angry at us than be stuck in the hospital wing over night," Fred said, shivering.

"I'd rather have that too, personally." Fred and George turned around to see Harry and Ron walking behind them.

"Would you really, Harrykins?" George asked. Harry scowled at him while Ron sniggered. "And you Ronnikins?" It was Harry's turn to chuckle.

"I hate the hospital wing. It's just..." Harry struggled to find the right words.

"Too clean?" Fred suggested.

"Too orderly?" George said.

"Bad food?" Ron suggested. Everyone stared at him, and Ron flushed.

"Uh, I think 'too cold' is the phrase I need," Harry said. Fred and George nodded, while Ron looked confused.

"I'm pretty sure they heat that place too, Harry," Ron said. Fred sighed.

"Ronnie," Fred started.

"Four-eyes here ("Hey!") means that–" George took over.

"The atmosphere there is cold." Fred finished, while George nodded thoughtfully.

"Anyway," Ron said awkwardly, "why were you two discussing the hospital wing?" Both of them looked at the twins curiously.

"Well," Fred started, but Harry interrupted him.

"Can one of you explain?" Harry said impatiently. George sniggered, while Fred slowly shook his head.

"Oh little one," Fred said solemnly, putting an arm around his shoulders. "Tis bad if ye allow all this angst to stay this firm within thyself."

"Huh?" George joined in.

"Thou must somehow get rid of it. Tarry not, I beseech you, and–"

"You can stop now," Harry interrupted.

"Ye shall henceforth–"

"Can we leave?" Ron asked Harry, who quickly nodded, and the two of them very nearly ran from the twins.

"Henceforth what?" George asked. Fred shrugged.

"I ran out of words." The two of them continued towards the Great Hall. However Fred paused and smiled over at George.

"What?" George asked.

"I'm bored."

"…"

"Wanna go bother Snape?" George blinked before sighing, while Fred kept on walking with a big grin on his face.

••••••

"What are doing now? Snape's gonna be back in a half an hour and you've only done a half a sheet of parchment." Fred looked at George, annoyed. Pushing his quarter done lines, he adjusted the other parchment so George can see.

"Remember earlier today?" he asked. George thought for a moment.

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific," George responded, going back to finish his lines.

"About going to class…" Fred prompted. George stared at him blankly before something clicked.

"Is this about not wanting to go to class?" Fred nodded eagerly.

"I was thinking, if there was a way for us, for anyone, to make themselves sick, they could easily get themselves out of class. We still need a name, but–"

"Hang on," George interrupted. "Sick?"

"Not really sick, just sick enough to get you out of class," Fred assured. George's jaw dropped.

"Brilliant," he breathed. George suddenly looked thoughtful. "What happened to avoiding the hospital wing?" Fred blinked.

"Oh, right." George facepalmed. "What should we do about that? It's not worth skipping class if we're stuck in the hospital wing."

"Well, if you just make an antidote to go with it, then they could take it after they leave class, and no one has to go to the hospital wing." Fred stared at George who went back to the lines. A few seconds later, George heard Fred scribbling furiously on the parchment.

"How do you like the idea of it being sweets?" Fred asked.

"Sweets? Where did that come from?" Fred smirked.

"Well, funny story really…"

Hermione glared at Ron while Harry looked a bit sick. There were piles and piles of chocolate frogs and various other sweets littering the floor of the Common Room. Looking closely, Fred saw that half of them were, in fact, wrappers.

"Honestly Ronald, what were you thinking?" Curious, Fred moved in a little closer to hear their conversation.

"What? I didn't do anything," Ron defended himself. Hermione turned to Harry.

"Harry, please explain to him what he did." Harry sighed.

"Ron, you ate through half the candy here"

"Wait a minute! Where the hell was I!" George protested. Fred gave him an impatient look.

"You were asleep. Now let me get back to the story."

"Ron, you ate through half the candy here. At this point, you should be really sick and throwing up everywhere, or at the very least have a stomachache."

"So?"

"So, you're not human," Harry stated simply.

"Harry! That wasn't what he"

"Did this actually happen?" George asked skeptically. Fred sighed.

"Don't you trust your older brother?" he asked, pouting.

"About this, no," George deadpanned. "So did it actually happen?"

"No."

"Thought so."

"I will assume that the two of you have yet to finish your lines." Fred and George both froze, and turned their heads slowly to face Professor Snape.

"Oh…"

"Hello Professor…"

"Thirty points from Gryffindor, and the two of you will return here tomorrow night to do an extra two rolls of parchment." He paused for a moment. "Get out." The twins scrambled out of their seats with their things and faced out of the classroom.

••••••

George's eye twitched.

"Are you sure that was it?" George asked.

"Nothing else," Fred said cautiously, eyeing the way George gripped the paper, crumbling it slightly.

"Stupid naïve kids for gambling we are," George muttered dangerously. Fred took a few steps back. George's eye had a dangerous glint to them. "Come on." George started walking away, while Fred stared at his back.

"Where are you going?" he called after George, who gave him a look that Fred correctly interpreted as follow, which he did.

"We're blackmailing him." Fred let out a nervous laugh.

"What happened to making money on our own?"

"This isn't about the money anymore," George said. "It's about not being pushed around by him."

"So we're going to blackmail him?"

"Pretty much."

"Glad you're starting to see things my way, little brother."

••••••

"Fred! George! Wait a moment." George registered the sentence and grabbed Fred's arm and they both turned to face Harry. It was obvious that he was affected by the recent events, but it was also obvious that he was trying to hide it, and didn't want anyone to notice. Respecting his wishes, Fred and George didn't acknowledge it.

"What is it?" Harry reached into his trunk and pulled out a sack. George's eyes widened. He wouldn't…

"Take it," he said, thrusting the sack into George's hand. Both of them stared at the sack stunned before turning their gazes to Harry.

"What?" Fred said, looking flabbergasted.

"Take it," Harry repeated firmly. "I don't want it."

"You're mental," George said, trying to push it back to Harry.

"No, I'm not," Harry said. "You take it and get inventing. It's for the joke shop." Fred looked at George.

"He is mental," Fred said in an almost awed voice.

"Listen, if you don't take it, then I'm throwing it down the drain. I don't want it and I don't need it, but I could do with a few laughs; we all could do with a few laughs. I have the feeling we'll be needing it in the future."

"Harry," George said carefully, weighing the sack with his hand, "There's a thousand galleons in here," he said slowly, making sure Harry understood what he was saying. Harry smirked. Picking up his trunk, Harry walked past them and looked back.

"Just imagine what you could do with that. Just don't tell your mum, and buy Ron some new dress robes." Harry got off the train and disappeared into the crowd. Everything was quiet for a few moments.

"Fred," George said slowly. Fred turned to look at him, and George could see the gears turning in his head.

"Well, we shouldn't let Harry's gift go to waste…"

"We're paying him back though," George said firmly. Fred nodded.

"Of course we will." Fred and George got off the train and watched as his parents spoke with Harry's relatives.

"He does have a point, you know," George commented.

"About what?" Fred asked curiously.

"We will need a few laughs; especially now."

"Yeah, we will…"

••••••

††††††

••••••

"So…" Fred gave George an odd look.

"You want me to test it first?" Fred said in disbelief. George somberly nodded.

"You're the older one," George said. "Take some risks for your younger brother." Fred laughed.

"No way. You go first."

"No, you go first."

"You first.

"No, you."

"You."

"You."

"I'm the better looking one." George snorted.

"Says you."

"How about Umbitch instead?" Fred begged. George blinked.

"That is a better plan than the two of us…"

"We still have a few hours before curfew…" Fred suggested. George nodded.

"Best idea I've heard from you yet."

"Hey!" Fred pouted. After retrieving the mystery item, Fred and George linked hands and started skipping out of the Common Room as people around them made sure to put plenty of space between them.

"We're off to see the froggy, the horrible witchy from hell…"

"Damn it, I really want to know what they're going to do," Harry muttered, while Ron nodded enviously. Hermione, however, was looking very disapproving.

"They really shouldn't do anything to a teacher." Ron and Harry were both looking at her is disbelief.

"Hermione, they're pranking Umbridge," Harry said slowly. Hermione blinked.

"Is that what they said?" Ron and Harry nodded. "Darn it," she muttered.

"Harry?" Ron asked.

"What?"

"Cloak?" Harry's eyes widened, before he started grinning.

"Cloak," he confirmed, running towards his dormitory.

"Don't forget to bring the map as well," Hermione hissed after him, while Ron looked at her in amazement.


Was it bad? Oh god, it was a load of crap wasn't it! Sorry, having a mental freak out at the moment...I swear I have ADD...I was just telling this to my author friend yesterday as we were discussing our fanfics and then Bob the Unicorn came up so I got all distracted and...sorry! ADD acting up. I swear I'm not normally like this...it's definitely because I'm in college now...Well leave lots and lots of reviews and if you were wondering Res CVX is my author friend who wrote this, so feel free to pm her, or mention her in your reviews or something. Check out my livejournal for progress on my own fics...link to it is on my profile.

Well that's all I gotta say for now...unless any of you are curious about Bob the Unicorn?...No?...didn't think so. Review!

~Sydni