Chapter 1 - Running

Disclaimer - I do not own skins, but if I did it would be pretty crazy.

Mum and Dad were screaming at each other, again and I wished they'd just gotten over it. Everything had been going so well. Tony was visiting more regularly, Anthea was getting better and I hadn't self harmed for a few months. Today I had given in to temptation.

But that was nothing compared to Effy, who seemed most affected. She had been so happy but now whenever I saw her, her face was just full of misery. She didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be here. We both knew that we had to get out, but it was just a matter of when.

I locked the door of Effy's old room, seeing as she now had Tony's, and plugged my ipod touch into the large computer hard drive at my desk. I flicked through my iTunes library until I found what I was looking for – Crisis. I had made the play list when things were really bad. The selection of music in it was just loud enough to drown out everyone's yelling and for them to not hear me crying my heart out.

Pressing play, I slid away from my computer and grabbed a few sheets, tangling them around me as I moved toward my safe space. I cowered in the corner of my room, letting the heavy beats sinking into my conscious.

Feeling the tears run down the sides of my face I thought of how twistedly proud Effy would be of me, sitting here in the corner letting my feelings out - unlike she had done at 14. I could tell she regretted the way she treated herself from the pleading looks she gave me that practically screamed promise me you won't do what I did.

I obeyed her pleas, cherishing every single moment I had with anyone who would listen to my problems, realizing that if I didn't let any of my feelings out, I would be sent swiftly to the place Effy was retreating to once again. Like she had done when she was with Joe.

Joe. I remember it as clear as yesterday, even though I was about 8. It was her downward spiral - drinking vodka for breakfast, smoking nonstop, hardly ever sleeping. And all the while she couldn't see what she was doing to herself. Until it hit her hard and she tried to commit suicide. Of course mum and Tony pulled her back. They had always pulled her back.

I was pulled out of my reminiscent state by a voice.

"Don't you see what you're putting her through!" Effy's voice bellowed down the hall and through the door to my room. And then footsteps… running… towards me.

As I anticipated there was a loud, melodic knock on my bedroom door. It was something she and I had created as to let each other know that it wasn't anyone else but us. We'd told ourselves we would only use it when it was urgent, but we couldn't help ourselves and had ended up using it all the time. But I knew that at this moment it really was urgent.

I reluctantly got up from my warm embrace against the wall, slowly walking towards the door, not worrying about what her reaction would be when she walked into my room to see my bed covered in bloody tissues and used razors. When she walked in to see my arms covered in blood and tears running freely down my cheeks.

I knew what would be coming when she did notice everything – a long and meaningful talk about why I'd done it and all that shit. And I was finally ready to tell her. Over the past year, I'd kept so much of me away from her and now I was ready to redeem everything.

The knock came a second time as I slowly reached for the doorknob, turning it with as much grace as possible. A second before completely opening the door I glanced back at my blood strewn bed - Fuck.

Effy looked tentatively into her sister's deep blue eyes as if looking into her own. The younger sister's face gave away her emotions all too easily. Effy knew she'd have to teach her a thing or too about stopping that

I stared back into my sister's gaze, realizing that she too had been crying, which wasn't normal for her. She took a step inside my room closing the door quietly behind her, before pulling me into one of those Ill never let anything happen to you hugs. Reluctantly pulling away, her eyes darted around the room, pausing briefly at the blood stained sheets and the tissues and the razors.

The realization in her eyes brought tears to my own. Of course her first instinct was to pull me back into her embrace as I cried into her chest. She lifted me up and practically floated to the end of my bed.

Clearing a spot for the both of us to sit, she cautiously muttered into my hair, "We have to leave…" and then gently kissed me gently on the forehead. All I could do was curl up in her arms, like I'd done since I was 5 or so. She was more like a mum to me than Anthea had ever been. The thought scared me.

After a minute of silence and tears, I piped up the courage to ask. "Where are we gonna go Ef?" I silently prayed that we would go and stay with Katie, Emily and Naomi for a while.

As much as Katie and Effy had gone through, they were still friends. How? I don't know… but what I did know was that I loved her, Em and Naomi more than anyone in the world. Well, besides Ef.

After last summer we'd all grown so much closer, especially when Naomi had taken us all in as mum was being a self hating bitch and dad was just abusive. Yes, mum had recovered a fair bit since then and yes, we'd come back and told her we would stay, but she was going back to that state and Dad was pushing it as much as he can to piss her off. We just couldn't stay around that any longer.

"I don't really know…" replied Effy after yet another long string of silence. I could practically see the cogs turning in her brain as she racked for somewhere to go.

"Could we go back to Naomi's?" I blurted without thinking.

Effy's face lit up at the suggestion. Gina loved them being there, as did Emily and Naomi. But of course, Katie loved it the most. After her sister and Katie confessed their feeling for each other last summer, they were much more relaxed around each other, and seeing as her sister had smashed Katie over the head with a rock just over a year ago, she had found it rather surprising how quickly they trusted each other.

"Phoenix Jade Stonem - I promise you that we wont go anywhere you are uncomfortable."

Effy was the only one who called her by her full name. She whipped out her phone in one swift movement all the while mouthing something along the lines of 'Go pack a bag.' I obeyed, as always. As I shoved clothes into my country road bag, I couldn't help but overhear Effy's conversation with Katie.

"Yeah, dad's back" Effy said emotionlessly into the mouthpiece of the phone. I was used to seeing her hide her emotions all the time, but to Katie..? I guess she was on the phone, and they hadn't seen each other since Friday afternoon and this week HAD been pretty darn impacting. I could see why she felt the need to hide her emotions again.

"Do you think she'll mind?" She replied quickly, forgetting to mask the fear in her voice this time. Silence. And then "Ok... Cool... We'll be over in about an hour… Yep… Kay… Yeah, you too," Effy muttered, although her face quickly lit up as she pressed the little red hang-up button on the phone.

I felt a smile creep across my face, mirroring my older sister's.

"Naomi's?" the word came all too enthusiastically.

"Naomi's."

We stepped inside with our bags and within a second I found myself being suffocated and lifted off the ground by Naomi Campbell's strong arms. God, I loved her.

When Naomi put me down it was Emily's turn. Being shorter, she didn't have to pick me up, which was a relief as I didn't like being even slightly air born in any way.

After breathing in enough that I didn't pass out I instinctively turned to my right for a hug from Katie, but sure enough, they were already bounding up the stairs giggling to themselves

Naomi chuckled. "I guess we should stay down here for a bit then?"

I don't think any of us really gave that statement second thought. The sound of them shagging would be loud enough here – none of us really wanted to take the risk of being too close to them that our eardrums burst.

Instead we sat there watching SpongeBob for an hour or so until the love birds calmed down, and by that time it was about 11pm, and seeing as most of us had some form of work tomorrow, we agreed to sleep.

Knowing that there weren't REALLY any free bedrooms upstairs (as usual), I chose to sleep on the couch. I grabbed the sheets from the closet underneath the stairs, realizing I knew all too well were everything was kept.

I pulled the blankets up to my chin and let myself drift off to sleep, fearing what crazy dreams I would have.

A/N:
So… first chapter done… EEK! Hopefully it wasn't THAT awful, haha. I wouldve gotten it up as soon as I finished editing because I found myself easily distracted by the noise my computer makes when sticky keys is on. The song I drew inspiration from at the start of the chapter is Dancing Through Sunday by AFI (just if you wanted to know). I thank lizardwriter for her amazing story Changes and HyperFitched for her EQUALY AMAZING story 99 Problems and I suggest that you read both of the, as I have taken a fair bit of inspiration from them. ALSO, I know from experience that my writing can be rather jumpy, so if you're lost or confused, just message me. Oh and since this is my first upload, please review :)
~Miki