Caroline, this one's dedicated to you since you're ALWAYS begging me to do a Usagi and Mamoru fic. You better be happy and you better enjoy :glares: Well, the last edition had tons of errors that were pissing me off so I edited it. Tell me if you see any more errors!

Dear Diary,

Sometimes life gets so complicated. One minute, I'm fighting with an egotistical jerk, and the next, I'm drowning in his icy blue eyes. I hate him but I love him with all my heart. He's so cold and rude, but something about him attracts me. He's so gorgeous and at times, the way he looks at me makes my heart flutter. But he's so mean. Every single time I'm even close to declaring my undying love for him, he just says something that hurts. And it hurts so much, it leaves me in heartache. I wish… I just wish he'd love me back. But that's just foolish, isn't it? With all those buxom beauties surrounding him, he'd never even look my way. Oh well. I'm allowed to dream, aren't I?

Your faithful dreamer,

Usagi Tsukino

0o0o0o0o0

Her hands tightened around her mug of hot chocolate as a dark mop of the blackest midnight hair entered the arcade. It was snowing outside and flakes of fluffy white snow covered his hair in a transparent layer, before melting and causing his raven locks to become wet. His eyes were oh so cold and icy, chilling her to the bone as they turned towards her. As soon as they looked at her, they looked away and the man made his way to Motoki.

Usagi's friends were giggling quietly beside her at some joke or another, but Usagi could only focus on the whitening of her clenched fists. Mamoru. That name brought so many despised memories, so much taunting and teasing and hatred. But the very name caused her stomach to jumble into a mess, it caused her throat to tighten, it caused feelings she didn't want.

Usagi turned back to her friends, a tight-lipped smile on her face. They were too absorbed into their conversation to notice, and Usagi quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom so that she could calm the fluttering in her stomach. She'd buy something cold afterwards; it always helped her when she felt like throwing up. Quickly checking her reflection, she splashed cold water onto her face before drying it off with paper towels. She walked out calmly before stopping in front of Motoki, careful not to look at the gorgeous raven-haired man beside her.

"Toki-chan, can I have a chocolate milkshake, please?" Usagi smiled widely.

"Of course, Usagi," Motoki smiled before leaving Usagi alone with Mamoru. Usagi sighed. She should have known that she'd be left alone with the jerk. She'd even been hoping…

"I'm surprised you didn't trip and fall over me like you always do," Mamoru smirked, his velvety, deep voice resounding in Usagi's ears.

"I'm surprised you didn't try and touch me like you always do," Usagi deadpanned. Mamoru raised an eyebrow.

"Don't be so full of yourself. Why in the world would I want to touch you?" he said 'you' as if it were some sort of disease. Ouch. That had hurt Usagi right in her heart.

"Please, Mamo-baka, you're just jealous because no one likes you."

"That's why I have a fan club here, right?" Mamoru motioned to the collection of girls behind him that were watching his every move. Usagi's eye twitched. Since when was there a fan club? Couldn't those baka girls see that Mamoru was hers and hers alone?

"Since when do you have a fan club?"

"Since before I met you."

"Why would anyone want to go out with a cold hearted person like you?"

"Why would anyone want to go out with a lazy, ditzy, stupid, ugly crybaby like you?"

Oh. That hurt even worse. It took Usagi everything she had to keep from crying, and even then, her eyes got watery. She blinked quickly. Mamoru was right. Why would anyone want to go out with her? She wasn't pretty or talented. She didn't have a nice figure and she was a biggest ditz and klutz ever. She sighed, shaking her head, before turning towards Motoki. Her eyes were still watering as she went back to her table. The other girls were still entranced in their conversation.

"Usagi, are you ok?" Rei's quiet whisper brought Usagi out of her thoughts. The blonde started before nodding.

"Of course," Usagi's voice came out tighter and shakier than she had intended. Rei shook her head softly.

"Tell me when we get to the shrine. Only me and you."

"Look, Rei-"

"Just do it," Rei demanded.

"Usa-chan, what's with you and Mamoru?" Minako interrupted in a sing-song voice.

"Nothing," Usagi swallowed the lump in her throat and offered a bright smile. "Why would you say that?"

"I don't know," Makoto looked at Usagi slyly. "Maybe because of the way you look when you see him?"

"Whatever," Usagi muttered, standing up. "I'm leaving."

0o0o0o0o0

Dear Diary,

My friends are so wonderful. Especially Rei. She's always there for me, even when she's annoyed of me and when she teases me. I know it's all in good fun. Even if he hates me, it will be nice to know that I have a shoulder to lean on. A shoulder that's only for me. Rei will be my friend forever. She's got a temper problem, but she's a loyal friend. I love her with all my heart. I just hope that he returns his love. Well, I should get going. Rei invited me over for a sleepover! I'm so excited. Her sleepovers are always the best. She rocks! Maybe someday, I'll be able to repay her.

Your faithful friend,

Usagi Tsukino

0o0o0o0o0

"Usagi, what happened?" Rei's voice held no trace of sarcasm or contempt like it normally did, just genuine concern. The raven sighed, her beautiful amethyst eyes flashing heavenward. "I should have seen it before."

"Seen what?" Usagi wiped away the tears that were currently going down her face.

"It's hopeless."

"What?"

"You're in love."

"I am? With who?"

"Mamoru," Rei stated simply, observing Usagi's reaction closely. The blonde sputtered, her eyes flashing as they desperately looked for a way out. Rei shook her head. Motoki owed her $50, but she was more worried about Usagi.

"N-no, of course not," Usagi's voice was shaky and she cleared her throat before continuing stronger. "Why would I be in love with that baka jerk?"

"Usagi, you can't hide things from me," Rei replied gently. "I know you love him. There's no way out of this one."

"Alright, maybe I do, but what's your point?" Usagi stuck out her chin. Rei rolled her eyes.

"He's mean to you and he'll hurt you one day."

"Like that hasn't happened already," Usagi muttered.

"Tell him how you feel."

"What!"

"Tell him how you feel," Rei repeated.

"Are you crazy?"

"No. He might feel the same way; you never know."

Usagi laughed bitterly. "He has his own fan club. He himself said that I was a whiny, stupid, klutzy, ditzy, ugly crybaby yesterday afternoon. He won't feel the same way."

"He did?" Rei's eyes showed her concern. Her eyes then darkened down to pitch black, betraying her anger and rage. "Why that little son of a -"

"Rei," Usagi sighed. "Shut up."

"Alright, alright. But you should still tell him, and if he rejects you, find someone better."

"Thanks, Rei," Usagi smiled, hugging her best friend.

"No problem."

"Now, what about that Chad guy…"

0o0o0o0o0

Dear Diary,

I'm going to tell him today. I made up my mind. I'm so nervous. What if I mess up? What if he hates me? What if he rejects me? What if he's already taken? What if I can't say anything? What if… no, I won't think like that. I know he won't be that mean. I can only hope that he'll say yes. But Rei and the rest of the gang are gonna be there, waiting for me. Oh, I really hope he says yes. I really hope he goes out with me. Am I a fool, falling in love with a man that can't stand my guts? Am I stupid to even believe that I have a chance? Oh lord, please help me. Please let him say that he loves me back.

Love,

Usagi Tsukino

0o0o0o0o0

Usagi stood nervously outside the Crown Arcade, taking deep breaths in and out. Her nerves were on end and dread filled her stomach like lead. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she slowly stepped into the arcade, thankful that Rei took her other friends out. Her eyes flashed as they surveyed the Crown. Closing her eyes and giving a quick prayer, Usagi made her way in, finding Mamoru sitting at his usual spot. She forced her jelly-like legs too move towards her intended target, begging to whatever high being that was listening to her to allow her to make her way to Mamoru before he spotted her. Her heart was pounding loudly in her chest and her head pulsated with the oncoming of a headache. She bit her lip, ignoring the glares of Mamoru's fan club. They hissed at her and she could tell that they were talking about her. Snippets of their conversation reached her ears and she distinctly heard 'bitch', 'whore', and 'slut'. Usagi gulped when she reached her destination.

"Uh, hi Mamoru," Usagi was jittery with fear of rejection. "What's up?" She could see his cold, cold eyes sweep over her form. He looked at her strangely.

"What do you want?" Mamoru asked unemotionally.

"Uh…. I…" Usagi was at a loss as to what to say. Gathering up her fleeing courage, she straightened and forced herself to stay that way. "What I-I'd like to say is that… I… I… I really like you." Usagi fought a blush that threatened to appear on her cheeks and jutted out her chin in bravery. She could feel his scrutinizing gaze and stared determinedly at a point behind him.

"Is that all?" his icy voice caused her heart to drop. "If you love me so much, why don't you join my fan club over there? See them? They've all proclaimed their love for me, too."

Usagi's bottom lip trembled and her eyes watered with the threat of tears. All she could do was open and close her mouth, not knowing what to say. Suddenly, her anger flared throughout her body and she stepped forward to slap Mamoru as hard as she could across his face, causing him to snap his head to the side. Her voice was a quavering and low snarl when she spoke. "How dare you compare me to those sluts!"

She tried to stop herself from crying. A wretched, broken sob escaped her throat. She turned heel and ran out of the Crown Arcade, mocking laughter coming from Mamoru's fan club. Tears dripped down her face, which was twisted in anguish. Her heart had just shattered into a million pieces. Her lungs burned with rejection and sobs steadily grew louder as she ran past confused pedestrians. Unable to go further, she slid down to her knees as heartbroken moans filled her silenced world. All she could see, all she could feel, was the dismissal and the loneliness of what her first love had just said.

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Woo-hoo! As I said, this is a short two-parter. Please leave a review! And especially you, Caroline! Lol, sorry if I'm embarrassing you. Watch out for the updates for my other fics, coming up soon!