There was an inn, in the middle of the wilderness. It was perched atop a large rock in the middle of a river and had two sets of wooden stairs connecting it on both sides so that it doubled as a bridge. It was night and the inn was crowded, and very noisy.
Inside the inn amid all the smoke and steam from various pipes and pots sat the bandit Chin with his gang. Chin was a rat, a very clever rat. His attire was made up of old castaway bits of cloth that he had haphazardly sewn together topped with bits of metal and studded leather he found. His right eye was missing; Chin could not afford a proper eye patch so his eye was covered in a dirty piece of cloth. At Chin's side was a very rusty Nan Dao sword. And on his head was a ratty (pun not intended) rice hat.
"As I was saying if we want to succeed we must-oh hold on a sec-You" said Chin grabbing a waiter, a very frightened rabbit "Where's our food we ordered almost thirty minutes ago?"
"I'm terribly sorry sirs, w-we're really busy tonight an-"
"Never mind that, just hurry back with our food"
"Yes sir, of course sir…er"
"What is it?"
"Could you tell me your orders again"
"You forgot our orders?"
"Sorry sir, it w-was just that there were too many orders an-well you see -many apologies sir!"
"Well there goes your tip" mumbled Chin, then looking around the small table his gang was clustered around he pointed to each member as he spoke "very well, let's see, it was steamed rice, steamed rice, steamed rice, steamed rice, uh steamed rice, steamed rice I believe, and uh pot stickers"
"Actually sir I changed my mind, I would like steamed rice too"
"Alright then, steamed rice for everyone and cabbage soup and a side order of steamed rice for me"
"Steamed rice, cabbage soup got it"
"a some rice wine"
"Rice wine got it"
The waiter scuttled off quickly.
"Now as I was er… oh blast I forgot!"
"Perhaps we should discuss another topic sir"
"Very well, lets all go in a circle and say what we've learned today, Dong you can start us off"
"Er, we learned that we should be very careful with gunpowder, and to keep it away from the torches"
"Good, good, Cheng?"
"Uh …If we run that only means the guards will punch us harder"
"Alright and Da-Ming I believe you have something very important to say"
"I uh, I kinda forgot sir"
"You kinda forgot?" said Chin crossly.
"I'm sorry sir, it was just that I-"
"Let me remind you, it was that we aren't…"
"We aren't…?"
"Get"
"We aren't get?"
"-ing"
"We aren't getting any oh, uh?"
"Rrrr"
"Rrrr… re… respect! We aren't getting any respect from the other bandits!"
"Da-Ming here has brought up a very good point, we lack respect from other bandits, and why is this?"
"Er…because we are always getting beaten up?" hazarded one bandit.
"Exactly! And why is this happening?"
"Er…"
"Its because you are?"
"Oh! Its because we're …uh"
"In…"
"Incompetent! Its because we're incompetent!"
"Yes exactly! One hundred percent true! , I need to get you bunch of muck bouts off your incompetent tails and whip you into shape. And I don't mean just physically this time, I mean intellectually. You sorry excuses for a low life band of cutthroats have spoiled my plans with your stupidity at least forty seven different times!"
"Ah gee we're sorry boss" said Da-Ming.
"Oh you're sorry, YOU'RE sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I have to spend all my time trying help you bunch of no-good-slacking-flea-bitten-tail bitters get a better life"
"No really boss we're sorry" said one of the bandits, who, like the others, was beginning to feel very bad "We'll try harder next time, we promise"
"For your sake you'd better, and once more I- hey you!"
Chin reached over and grabbed the same rabbit waiter from earlier.
"Where's our food!"
"I kinda …well"
"Did you forget again?"
"Er…yes"
"How hard is it to remember steamed rice and cabbage soup?" said Chin bringing his voice down to a threatening rat growl.
"I uh, well you see"
The rabbit pointed across the crowded room, there was a group of well armored wolves seated there eating steamed rice and cabbage soup.
"Tell me you long eared twit, why can't you remember our food, but you can remember theirs, which happen to be the exact same bloody thing!"
"well that kinda is your food"
"What?"
"They kinda took it sir"
"They took my food!"
"And the previous order"
"and you let them!"
"Well they're kinda mean scary bandits"
"We're mean scary bandits!"
"Yeah but, you know, they're meaner and scarier, and well bigger and more competent looking"
"Oh really now?" said Chin his voice changing to a menacing hissing sound. "Alright you lot, time to prove your worth, follow me, we'll show this blaggards a thing or two!"
Chin and his gang approached the wolf bandits.
"Alright you bunch of mangy canines, clear off! This inn is the territory of MY gang, we were here first!"
The wolf bandits laughed, a harsh, horrible laugh.
"oh laughing are you! We'll see whose laughing when I flog your hides of your bones! Which one of you loutish brutes is the leader!"
The leader of the wolves stood up, he towered far above the other wolves. Chin let out a frightened squeak.
"Are you challenging me?" said the wolf bandit
"I-I uh…Yes!" said Chin mustering up all his courage.
The wolf bandit responded by flipping the table over and walking over to Chin. Chin took out his rice flail that he had traded for with a Wako pirate. It was a good deal, one member of his gang for, what he considered, a dangerous weapon.
"I must warn you" said Chin beginning to swing the rice flail about expertly "I've trained with this for months, it took me a week to learn not to brain myself with it and I'm more than capable of braining you!"
Chin accidently struck Da-Ming in the head.
"Sorry Da-Ming" said Chin "Have at you wolf!"
Chin swung the rice flail in a complicated fashion. The wolf bandit grabbed the rice flail by the weight right before it struck him. the wolf bandit swung the rice flail into the air with Chin who was still holding onto it. Chin was brought flying over the wolf's head and crashing into the floor behind him. And those ended the battle for the inn.