The dream was the same, a confusion of pulsating light and gyrating bodies. It's always eerily silent though, which throws me off. I clearly remember the music. It was so loud you felt it thrumming through your body more than you heard it.
I sense my brother somewhere near me as I push my way through the oblivious bodies but I can't see him. The air is heavy with the smell of acrid smoke and overwrought hormones. Then I find them again wrapped up in each other and moving sensuously to the music.
Panicked I turn to run only to find myself trapped by a wall of dancers. "Matthew…" I hear my name whispered. It's the only sound I ever hear in this hellhole. Slowly I turn and I'm caught up in their embrace. The long blond locks of their hair obscure my vision. I open my mouth to scream for Jeff to run but then their lips are on mine devouring me and the sound dies on my breath.
With a stifled gasp I awaken. My eyes desperately search the impenetrable darkness. It takes an effort of will to make my limbs stop trembling, to make my heartbeat and breathing resume a normal pattern.
I can feel my brother pressed up against me. His head is nestled on my shoulder the reassuring sensation of his breath tickles the side of my neck. Sometime during his sleep his hand had crept under my shirt and his fingers are splayed skin-to-skin on my stomach. I shouldn't allow him to do this. I should wake him up and send him back to his own bed. But he tries so hard to pretend that he's not afraid when we're awake that I don't have the heart to turn him away when we sleep. If he finds some small comfort by being in my prescience then so be it.
It must be close to sunset. My ears strain to hear the other occupants of this house. Sometimes we're awakened by agonized screaming and at other times moans of ecstasy. Either one is unsettling. I can't help but wonder when my throat is going to be uttering those same sounds. It's going to happen sometime or another. I don't know why they haven't touched Jeff or I yet but I can't help getting the feeling that our time is running out.
The door to my room creaks open. The faint light from the hallway outlines a lanky figure. "Matthew…" the voice of my nightmares and lust filled fantasies assails my ears.
I sit up carefully moving Jeff out of the sanctuary of my arms. "What is it Edge?" I whisper.
"Master is waiting for you."
I shudder and scramble out of bed. I feel his eyes on me as I get dressed and flush angrily. One of these days our positions are going to be reversed and… my mind churns with all of the thoughts of what I'd like to do to him. I feel myself harden. The first thing I'd do is assuage my hunger for him maybe then he'd be out of my system. I have changed, before I met him I would never have thoughts like these in my head but now I delight in them. It's my only means of release.
Moving back over to the bed I tuck Jeff in and kiss his temple. "How touching," Edge sneers.
"Fuck off," I growl going over to meet him at the door. "He told you to come fetch me not offer commentary."
"What are you going to do to stop me?" His voice is amused. He looks me over taking in the black mesh shirt and leather pants. "Very nice. I'm glad I brought it back for you." He reaches out running a long fingernail over the exposed bits of my bare skin.
I slap his hand away shutting the door carefully behind me. "Don't touch me." It eats away at me that I have nothing to call my own not even the illusion of a choice.
"Ahhh but you want me to touch you. That's the problem isn't it?" He flashes me one of his wicked smiles and moves closer trapping me between himself and the door.
"You lost your chance a long time ago," I hiss.
"Is that right?"
I brush up against him and place a searing kiss on his mouth. I feel the shock of our contact run through him and he parts his lips eagerly for more. I shove him away hard and smirk as he stumbles into the wall. "Yeah that's right."
He straightens the golden glints in his dark green eyes flashing dangerously. He adjusts his long black trenchcoat as I begin to saunter down the hallway. I hear his angry curses and tense waiting for him to attack me. Bring it on. A good brawl would suit my reckless mood perfectly.
Boys…I stiffen at the sound of the gently chiding voice that invades my mind. Edge falls in beside me his face enigmatic as usual and we head to the room where our master awaits us.
Lights flicker eerily in the long corridors. Electricity is uncertain at best in this ramshackle maze that is now my prison. The slimy damp chill from the river nearby often lingers in the air with it's own special stench. In the summer it was so bad that patches of mold grew on the walls. Dew beaded on surfaces running down in long gray streaks that made it seem as if the entire structure was weeping.
Edge knocks differentially on the door half-off its hinges on the other end of the house. "Come in…" The voice is low and cultured. In the long miserable months that I have been here I've never heard him raise his voice. He doesn't have to. He knows he owns us.
Gangrel lounges in a worn chair his legs propped up on a table before him. Edge quickly strides over and kneels kissing his master's hand. My lip curls in disgust and I pointedly remain standing by the door.
Everything he gets from me he'll have to take. If he orders me to kneel I'll kneel but only because I know the consequences of my defiance but he'll never get blind obeisance from me. He stares at me over Edge's bowed golden head and I bank the fires of resentment and fury that threaten to flare up and consume me whenever I see him.
"Matthew," he grins his piggish face alight with glee. "Come join us." He rises swaggering over to a corner table and pouring blood red wine into two identical chalices. He picks up a dagger with garnets glinting on the hilt.
I look at Edge in confusion but his gaze is firmly fixed on the ritual being played out before us. Gangrel slashes his wrist and a thin stream of crimson liquid splashes down into the wine. He lifts his wrist to his lips. His long tongue snakes out running over the gash and leaving blood smeared pale skin behind.
Uneasiness fills me as Gangrel turns gesturing for us to come forward. Edge takes one of the cups tilting his head back and drinking deeply as I watch in horror. "Welcome to the family," my master murmurs holding out the other one to me.
He's got to be out of his fucking mind. I start to shake my head violently no stumbling backwards towards the door. His face looms before me, red eyes glinting, obscuring everything else in my vision. His voice is in my mind drowning out my thoughts. I feel the cool metal rim against my lips. The blood soaked wine is spilling into my mouth. Gasping, choking it slips down my throat. It burns, spreading through my veins and a new warmth infuses my body.
Sense slowly returns and I realize that I'm curled up on the floor in a fetal position. My nerves are still tingling as I weakly push myself up. Gangrel is sitting on his decrepit throne watching me laughter playing about his lips. Edge is standing behind him. There is a slight glimmer of sympathy in his eyes, which vanishes as soon as I look up at him.
"It gets easier with time," my master soothes.
I scrub my mouth with the back of my hand shuddering in disgust. Struggling to my feet I glare at Gangrel my eyes narrowing fists clenching at my sides. "What the fuck did you do to me? You have no right…"
Before I can blink he is out of his chair the back of his hand catching my cheek hard and sending me ignominiously to the floor again. "Whelp. You will guard your tongue with me."
The door creaks open and Christian slips in exchanging glances quickly with his brother. His long white poet shirt cascades down his torso and gives him a look of innocence that I know is a lie. Gangrel throws out his arms smiling expansively. "This is supposed to be a celebration. Christian fetch young Jeffrey. I'm sure he doesn't want to be excluded."
Christian nods leaving the room silently. In all the time we've been here I think I've heard him speak twice. I wait sick with dread hoping Jeff won't pay for my quick mouth. There has to be some way out of this situation. I sigh, even if we managed to escape I can't imagine Gangrel and his cronies letting us stay away for short of killing them ourselves.
Better ware your thoughts. You never know who might be listening. An unfamiliar voice echoes in my head. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.
I scan the room trying to identify the speaker. I've come to expect anything these days but no one else is there. "Please Matthew. There's no need to sulk. Pull up a chair boys," Gangrel gestures to the other pieces of ragtag furniture that decorate the room.
On shaky legs I take one of the couches stamping down my feelings of rebellion and violence. It would do no damn good now anyways. Either one of them could overpower me in seconds. One day… one day I swear.
Edge sits beside me and leans over whispering in my ear, "congratulations." His breath ghosts over my skin as his lips skim over the line of my jaw.
The sweep of desire that rushes through me leaves me dizzy. I fall back heavily into the threadbare cushions my arms automatically encircling him. I'm lost in the taste of his kiss the sensation running friction along my already raw nerves.
"Mmm nothing like watching two pretty boys exploring each other." Our master's voice is tinged with dark delight.
I push away and see Jeff staring at me his eyes wide. Damn I didn't hear him come in. I look away in shame elbowing Edge in the ribs when he tries to run his hand up my thigh. I don't know what came over me.
"Don't mind your brother Jeffrey," Gangrel soothed beckoning Christian over. "He's just enjoying himself for once."
Inwardly I seethe. Jeff stands awkwardly jamming his hands into his back pockets. His hair is still mussed as if he did nothing more than run a quick hand through it as he scrambled into his jeans and white wife beater. Normally my brother would sit next to me but as his usual space is occupied he grabs a ladderback chair with a missing rung, turns it around and sits. "What's going on?"
Christian gracefully crosses the room and Gangrel pulls him down onto his lap nuzzling at his neck. I feel Edge stiffen next to me and I smirk. Serves the bastard right. Christian fully belongs to Gangrel now. They even dress alike. I wonder how much of his original personality is left and how much is just an extension of his master. It's a sobering thought.
"Your brother has decided to join our little brood." Gangrel traces a fingernail over Christian's jugular and the silent blonde moans low in the back of his throat. "I think it's time he gets his reward."
"What?" Jeff's light green eyes flicker towards me and I can hear the fear and confusion in his voice.
I wish I knew what Gangrel's idea of a reward was. Warily I start to rise wanting to move over to Jeff to offer him some measure of reassurance. Edge grabs my arm and yanks me down onto his lap. With a muttered curse I start to struggle but he keeps me close to him easily enough. Damn he's strong. I feel his cock harden through the thin velvet of his pants and stop squirming gritting my teeth. I hate them all.
Jeff jumps up and I give him a small shake of my head. It makes no sense for him to get into trouble just because he comes to my defense.
"Do you think you'll be able to keep him under control tonight?" Gangrel laughs.
"Oh I think he'll behave himself Master." He nips at the nape of my neck. "Won't you?"
"Like hell I will," I growl softly turning my head slightly towards him.
"Just makes it more interesting," he breathes.
"What's happening tonight?" I hate hearing the sound of dread in my baby brother's voice. I need to get us out of this place.
"You've been cooped up here for far too long. You should get out a bit, enjoy the night," Gangrel says magnanimously. "Do you have a place in mind Edge?"
"I have the perfect spot."
"Good. Move along then. I'll expect to see you back before dawn then."
Edge releases me and I rise dazed. Elation, suspicion and fear are warring in me. He isn't going with us? This might be our chance. We haven't stepped foot outside since the night they brought us here. I go over and reach a trembling hand out to Jeff. He rises taking it and brushing up close to me. I wonder what they have planned but it doesn't matter. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for.
"No Jeffrey, you're going to stay here with Christian and I. You can help him entertain me." His smile sickens me. "It's time for your older brother and Edge to let loose and get to know each other as it were. You'll have your own opportunity to go out and play."
Jeff gives me a desperate glance clinging to me. I wrap my arm protectively around his waist. "Don't leave me," he says in a strangled whisper.
I look around the room at all the eyes fixated on us. "I don't think they're going to give us much of a choice." There is a sinking feeling in my stomach as I realize there's no way out of this. I always underestimate his cleverness. I'm not going to do anything without Jeff beside me.
Edge rises, "let's go."
"It'll be okay," I give Jeff a lingering kiss. "I promise." I shake free of his grip and head for the door praying that I'm right. If I can make the most of this chance then I'll never have to leave him again. He'll be safe.
Just before I exit I look back. Christian is leading Jeff stumbling over to Gangrel's chair. I hesitate fighting the urge to rush over and rip my brother from his grip.
Edge takes my hand pulling me out into the hallway. "There's nothing you can do for him now. They won't harm him."
I shrug out of his grip and start walking. That's easy for you to say. There are many levels of harm and I'd do anything to keep Jeff safe.
Instinctively I pull my leather coat more firmly around me as the wind tugs at my hair but in truth I barely feel the cold at all. I look around me trying to get a feel for where I am. This place is a maze of old abandoned steel miner's homes and rusted railroad tracks.
Much to my surprise my prison is a row of townhouses. Gangrel or his lackeys had knocked down some of the walls so that they ran together in their own odd way. You think a place like that would be easy to escape from but most of the doors and windows are boarded up. And no matter how alone Jeff and I believe we are someone always seems to know what we're up to. We've learned the hard way to behave ourselves.
Occasionally I get glimpses of the broad oily river snaking its way through the darkness. Which one is it? Finally after catching sight of one of the many bridges crossing its expanse I conclude that it must be the Ohio. Ahhh we're on the south side of the city then. Not too far from where we had originally been taken. Not that this knowledge does me very much good.
Edge is next to me moving like a cat in the utter dark. Nothing breaks the silence between us except for the crunch of broken glass under my feet. Rapidly we make our way to a more populated part of the city though the company doesn't improve much. Music and the odor of cheap alcohol spills from the many bars lining the streets. Prostitutes call to each other or out to the various cars cruising up and down the strip.
I can still feel the effects of whatever it was that Gangrel gave me. It's hard to explain. It's almost as if my blood itches. I wonder what it's doing to me. Somehow innately I know that it's changing me on some level. I want to claw my arms and drain it out of me. It's probably too late though.
"Soon you won't even notice it anymore." Edge's voice breaks through my reverie.
"What so you can read minds now?" It suddenly occurred to me that maybe he was the voice that I had heard earlier. No… no… the other voice was too self-assured. It belonged to someone that bowed down to no one.
"Something like that," he grins white teeth flashing in the dark. "You could do it too if you put your mind to it."
"What do you mean?" I stuff my hands into my pockets and eye the denizens around me warily. This definitely isn't the best part of town and not a place that I would normally be walking but few people notice us and the ones that do quickly turn away. You live and die by your instinct here. Not for the first time I wonder where he's leading me and for what purpose.
"When you drank his blood it linked us. And gave you some other things but I'll let you discover that on your own."
Wonderful, just wonderful. My life's dream to be connected to this s.o.b. He chuckles and I try to control my growing anger. "How long does it last?"
"Till the next moon," he looks up scanning the sky where the full moon hangs on the horizon huge and bloated. "Then he'll make you drink it again."
Over my dead body. I shudder in disgust and stop. "Why me?"
He shrugs a quizzical look crossing his face. "Maybe his likes you. Maybe it's just cuz we're the older ones. Who knows why he does what he does?" He motions to me. "Let's keep going."
I catch back up to him. "Why did you single out Jeff and I that night," I ask it softly and for a moment I don't think he heard me. The question had been bothering me for awhile but I had never asked it till now.
"Our Master has a thing for pretty brothers. We had been watching you ever since you came to the city."
A wave of homesickness washed over me. I wish we had never come here. It was the stupidest decision we ever made. Back in Carolina we didn't have to worry about nightmares stalking us at night. Hell most of the time we didn't even lock our doors.
I don't know why I'm so chatty tonight it's not like me at all. I guess my nervousness is getting to me. "How long have you been with Gangrel?" He seems to be about my age but I get the feeling that he's been a member of this pack for a long time.
Edge turns to look at me and what I see in his eyes chills me. "Thirty years."
We continue on, me in disturbed silence. The streets are narrow and winding here. He pauses in front of a bar eyeing the bikes parked outside. His decision made he moves over to a beautiful Honda Valkyrie and starts fiddling with it. A few moments later the engine roars to life. He looks over his shoulder at me, "hop on."
Before all of this shit started I wouldn't have been caught dead stealing but since then I've become numb to minor details such as this. I clamber on behind him actually looking forward to the ride. I hope he's a speed demon. A little danger would suit my mood just perfectly now.
"Feel free to wrap your arms around me." I can hear the laughter in his voice.
"No thanks," I say dryly reaching behind me and gripping the seat. "I'll take my chances falling off."
He revs the engine and we take off amid squealing tires. Vaguely I hear someone shouting behind us but it doesn't matter. The wind is blowing in my hair and there are no walls around me. I close my eyes and let go of the seat leaning back slightly. I feel as if I were flying. I wonder how high I could go before I fall.
We head over the bridge and he's going as fast as I could wish. Soon we are weaving our way through downtown Oakland. The Cathedral of Learning looms above us blotting out the night sky. I see the familiar landmarks of where I used to hang out. This area of the city is bright with lights and college students roam the streets in groups or singly. They are blissfully unaware of the horror that surrounds them. I was one of them once.
We circle the area for a bit my eyes drinking in the sights and then he turns back the way we came as I look longingly back over my shoulder. Is he just teasing me with what I once had? I recognize he path as we head back out and I suddenly realize where he's taking me. My blood runs cold.
I am trembling by the time we stop at a two story industrial warehouse this side of the Birmingham Bridge. The name Rorschach is emblazoned in neon green gothic letters above the entrance. A few people are milling around outside smoking joints or drinking from open containers.
Music is pouring out from the club. I can hear Korn's Freak on a Leash. How fucking appropriate. Edge parks the bike and gets off beckoning to me. I glare at him and shake my head. "I'm not going in there."
He grabs a hold of my jacket and hauls me off the motorcycle. "Yes you are. If you want to give me a hard time I can put a chain around your neck and drag you around behind me like a bitch. I'm sure someone here could be persuaded to give me one."
I jerk away from him. "Good luck getting it around my neck." I look at the club that haunts my dreams everytime I go to sleep. Edge is one sadistic bastard.
"You're a feisty one. Our Master is going to have a lot of fun taming you," there is a hard edge of amusement to his voice. "Now your brother is much more pliant."
His words fray at my tattered control. For just a single moment I have an image in my mind of what he would like to do to my brother. Growling I turn around and shove him hard knocking him down into the dirt. "You leave Jeff outta this." A crowd begins to gather around us watching in interest as Edge stands up. I think I just might kill him this time.
He moves towards me quickly and grabs my hips yanking me towards him. I gasp as he grinds his groin against mine and I feel that unwelcome desire again. "I'm going to really enjoy making you pay for that later on." He leans down and sinks his teeth into the side of my neck.
I yelp at the sudden pain and twist in his arms trying to break free. He abruptly lets me go and I stumble. With shaking fingers I touch my neck surprised to find the skin unbroken. Edge pushes his way through the onlookers and enters the club.
"Awww look at dat Renee, a lover's quarrel eh," an anonymous voice with a heavy accent mocks from the safety of the crowd.
I clench my fists fighting the powerful urge to hurt someone… anyone at this point. As if sensing my dangerous mood the mob melts away and I'm left momentarily alone. I'm tempted, so tempted to just get back on the bike and ride until I'm safe back in Carolina. I see Jeff's face in my mind his eyes frightened. I know I can't abandon him.
Reluctantly I enter the club noticing that nothing much has changed since I was last here that fateful night. The air is still thick with the haze of smoke and disorienting with the multi-colored spotlights around the triangle shaped bars and the strobe lights that flicker crazily over the mosh pit and dance stage.
I head over to the bar and take one of the few empty spots scanning the area for my companion. The bartender comes over. "Negro Modello," I shout and point over to where I spotted Edge. "Put it on his tab." He can at least pay for me to get rip roaring drunk. Maybe I can drown out my sorrows.
He could have picked any other damned place but this one. I try to ignore the little flashes of memory that comes at me through the stuttering light. I sip my beer rolling the smooth nutty taste over my tongue. I suppose this is where you end up when you let lust rule your actions instead of trusting your instincts.
I can feel Edge watching me. What is the whole purpose of this little outing? I know it's not to celebrate regardless of what Gangrel said. Maybe they just want to see if I'll bolt, every nerve in my body is telling me to do so. I'm a rat caught in the maze for their own amusement.
Setting my empty bottle down on the bar I motion for another one. I should try to keep my wits about me but what really is the point? Idly I watch a group of college students ordering a few drinks several feet away. I wish I were a part of them feeling as carefree as they obviously are.
One of them catches me looking and raises an expressive eyebrow then grins and winks. I find myself smiling back. He's pretty damned hot, smooth brown skin, beautiful body. I drain the rest of my beer and head over in his direction. If I have to be here than I might as well distract myself. I haven't had any kind of a normal outlet in I don't know how long.
He says something to his companions and meets me halfway. "Wanna dance?" He asks nodding in the direction of the stage. His voice has a bit of a Southern twang to it like mine. Not quite Carolina but close enough to make me feel good.
"Sure," I take his hand and lead him out looking over my shoulder to smirk at Edge who doesn't look at all pleased. Sucks to be him.
We quickly find the rhythm and move in time with one another. He's a good dancer. I sling one arm around him and move in closer trying to lose myself in this brief interlude of pounding music and writhing bodies.
It doesn't last long enough. I can feel Edge closing in on me. I don't know how but I do. He's standing behind me with that feral possessive look in his eyes. I pull my dancing partner closer bringing my lips to his ear, "what's your name?" Mmmmm he smells nice… all male no trace of fear. I've forgotten what it's like to breath air that isn't heavy with that emotion.
"Maven," his hands stroke down my sides and I feel a thrill of pure pleasure. It's been a long time since I've felt that. "Yours?"
I ignore his question and lean in kissing him, briefly tasting what he has to offer. "Maven if you're wise you'll get the hell out of here as quickly as you can." I'm surprised at how much it hurts to have this moment ruined.
A puzzled look crosses his face but I break away moving to quickly block Edge as he tries to go past me after his prey. Enraged green eyes lock on mine and I glare back. He moves to go by me and I block him again. "Leave him alone Edge. I'm warning you." I'll be damned if I let Edge hurt him just because I showed some interest. I should have known better.
"What?" He sneers finally focusing his attention back on me. "What will you do to stop me?"
I'm itching to hit him so bad I can almost feel my fist connecting with his jaw. I take a deep breath trying to control myself. I feel a hand on my arm, "what's going on?"
I sigh damn it Maven, so much for self-preservation. "Stay out of this," I growl keeping one wary eye on Edge. The air has a sharp feel of imminent violence.
"Look deir at it again, non." I recognize the same voice from earlier and clench my teeth. "My money's on da blonde."
That's it. My temper snaps. I turn and grab a hold of the startled speaker planting my fist in his face. God that felt so fucking good. I must have hit him harder than I thought because he goes limp in my grasp but I'm beyond reason at this point.
"Sylvian!" His companion cries jumping forward and I turn on him too. My vision is washed in a red haze as I let loose all of my frustration and rage that I've have been holding in since my life had changed so drastically.
Vaguely I notice Edge fighting next to me holding others from the crowd back. I don't know where Maven has gone to. Next thing I know Edge is pulling at my arm shouting that we have to go.
I look down at Sylvian and Renee lying at my feet their faces swollen and almost unrecognizable. A surge of glee fills me as I look upon the havoc that I had wrecked. I lean down and wipe my blood spattered hands on one of their shirts then kick him for good measure. His mouth falls open in a groan of pain. He's still alive then. I don't know whether to be relieved or not.
I let Edge pull me outside reveling in the chill air against my heated skin. We take off on the motorcycle as I hear sirens in the distance. It still isn't out of my system yet. The urge to turn back and continue pummeling on people again consumes me. I look over my shoulder half ready to leap off the bike and go back.
I think I see Maven on the outer fringe of the crowd and that partially jerks me back to reality. What must he be thinking about my outburst? Just goes to prove that monsters roam this part of the city and now it seems that maybe I've become one of them. At least Edge didn't get a chance to lay his hands on him. I have no doubt he would've really hurt him.
My heart is thudding in my chest. I need to get a hold of myself. I've never lost control like that before. I'm glad Jeff wasn't there to see it. I feel my anger begin to drain away and with it my energy. I lean my head against Edge's back and take a deep breath holding on tightly.
I'm not sorry for what I did. I don't know why but I'm not. And that thought sickens me. What is happening to me? I push those thoughts away, I'll deal with it another time. Right now I need to concentrate on my biggest worry. What is Gangrel going to do when he finds out what I did? I'm sure he's not going to appreciate me having the cops looking for my dumb ass. Fuck… fuck… fuck.