Then

I didn't want to wake up, I wished that I could stay in bed for only a few more minutes. My beat up Sidekick woke me up, vibrating then playing the loudest alarm tone ever, causing my ears to ring. My neck was hurting like hell, I must have fallen asleep while talking to Alice the night before. I finally decided to lift my head off of the pillow, at that point, my eyes were still closed, my feet and ankles still felt tense, reminding me of my painful pointe class from last night. My hair was a mess as usual, my back ached, my thighs burned from dancing, and my ankles screaming when I finally stood up. I walked to the bathroom, took off my sleep clothes, turned on the shower, stood there, my eyes barely open, I let out the biggest yawn ever as I waited for the water to turn searing hot. I stepped in, and I stood under the water for what felt like a good five minutes, not even washing up yet.

I stood there hoping that school year would be better than the last, I knew that Mike probably hated me for what I did to him that summer, my clothes sucked, many of them were the same from the year before, and whatever I bought recently, I felt anything but comfortable in. That year I made a vow to wear other clothes besides tights, leotards, sweats, and t-shirts. I wanted that school year to be different, I wanted to fit in, and I wanted to be happy. That was my beginning of my first day of tenth grade. The beginning of the school year that would forever change how I felt about myself.

Now

I looked out of the window of my small but sufficient apartment. Rosalie is probably still sleeping, and Emmett is probably still here. I walked over to get my coffee cup, putting three packets of Splenda in, and a teaspoon of my french vanilla creamer. I was still single, and had been since my first year of college, and I still think it was because I'm not ready for a relationship, when I should be. I'm always asking myself, why do I need a boyfriend? I have everything I've worked so hard for, an apartment in New York city, and dance career that most women can't even achieve in their wildest dreams, and friends that most people fall out of touch with when they get their diploma.

Sometimes the thought of everything that happened in my sophmore and junior years of high school still haunt me, but I brush them off and remind myself that I will find love someday, no matter how long it's taking. I miss my parents though, I miss our little house in Silver Spring,Maryland I miss the quiet, I miss taking rides out into the country, I miss how big the trees looked in winter and fall, but I kept telling myself I'd never go back there to live, I mean it was only five hours away, so I could always go back to visit.

I let myself out of my trance of thoughts and memories and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day, the sun is just starting to rise over the jungle of buildings. Soon I will have to be at the company and I haven't even showered yet. I tip toed down the hallway to my bedroom, trying my best not to wake up the sleeping couple. I'd kill for Rosalies ability to effortlessly attract any guy she wants. Most guys are interested in but they feel like I'm too focused in my career, or I come off as uninterested, when in reality I was just to scared.

I grabbed a fresh towel and washcloth, and my shower caddy. Sharing an apartment with another woman wasn't so bad, but I couldn't imagine what it would be like if it were four women here. Luckily, I was still in and out of the shower fast enough to put my hair in a perfect bun, put on some makeup and put together a cute outfit. I grabbed my dance bag, my phone, and my keys, and headed downstairs. I didn't feel like trying to catch a taxi so I put in my earphones and ran to the nearest subway station. Taking the subway wasn't too hard for me since that was my main form of transportation back home. This morning seemed to be going so well, I found a seat on the train which was surprisingly not crowded today, and all of my favorite songs happened to be playing on shuffle.

I swiped my metro card, and ran up the stairs and into the city. It was a beautiful spring morning in the big city, the perfect day to take a stroll in central park. In all of the crowded craziness of the city, I could still find serenity, I'm even more sure that this is the perfect place for me. I remember being nineteen years old, when I was finally accepted into the New York City Ballet, I remember being so scared, happy, and anxious when I experienced living here for the first time, but Rosalie and I made up perfect strategies to make our way here.

Rosalie graduated from NYU with a degree in biology, but decided to continue her career in modeling. She towered over everyone back home, and even here she still stood out. She's statuesque, beautiful, with the most unique features. Sometimes I find myself getting jealous whenever we go out, I feel like she gets more attention than be because of her height and undeniable beauty. I'm not nearly as quiet as i used to be, but I still find myself awkward and shy at times. She was my best friend, and the only one brave enough to take on the big city with me. We both needed to get out of Maryland to live our dreams.

I walked up to the huge building, and walked into the lobby. Everyone greeted me with a smile as usual. I was one of the soloists with the New York City Ballet, something that I thought I would never achieve. Everything in my life was perfect now, I don't need love. I walked into the dressing room, put on my leotard and tights, broke in my new pointe shoes, and looked in the mirror. I was beautiful, more beautiful than I ever felt, but my smile turned into a frown, In the perfect dream world I was living in, I felt like something was missing. I shrugged off that feeling, headed to the main studio, found my place and the barre, the music started to play, and everything in the world around my seemed to disappear, it was just me, the music, and the barre, I was at peace if only for about ten minutes of warm up.