OK. This is my first try, blabla, so please only r&r if you really feel like.

And I wanted to thank the guys from 24 to create such a wonderful thing. Before I forget: I do own 24 and all characters in my dreams and I dream a lot. When I wake up I am always sad I can't decide what is going to happen. But here I can. I was reading so amazing good fanfic in the few days I hardly did anything else. Thank you for that. It was a wonderful time in your brain ;o)
-------------------------

Story starts at 4x23 - You know that scene!

Ah, and there is a lot of spoiling in case you didn't see 4x23 and 4x24 !

"I can see your men, Michelle. You lied to me you bitch. You are not gonne take me alive! Got it!" Explosion on all monitors around them.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She screeamed as she ran to the screen.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

As if she could stop it. In shock she saw the car exploding a second time. She let her breath out and nothing was left inside of her. She collapsed. Not aware that Bill Buchannon held her. She wasn't aware of anything at all. Hands took her and led her through the hallway to her office above. She sat on the couch couln't move anything. Didn't feel anything. Couln't think.

She was still unable to close her eyes. It went dark around her heart. She nearly had him back in her life. She wanted him so badly back in her life. She needed him. All the horrable things that had happened. And now she would never see him again? The kiss a few minutes ago would have been the last one? Now, that she knew he still loved her and and wanted to go with him? Her soul began to bleed. It hurt her so much. And she felt that it would last forever. She had lost him the last time in her life.

The door slowly opened and Bill sat next to her.

"I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. I know, ... a part of you is second guessing your decision, but you couln't place Tony's life before the lifes of potetially millions of people. You made exactly the decision Tony would have wanted you to make. That's our job. That's why we sign on."

Slowly she said what started going through her mind over and over again. "We decided we were going to leave this... Go somewhere and start again."

She wanted to stop think. Stop it all. She wanted to go back to work, but Bill detained her. He ordered her to go home.

What should she do? With noone to rely on ever again? Slowly she moved. She walked out without noticing anything. All went numb.

She found herself sitting in the car. Rain poured against the windows. Felt like her inside. She was finally alone and alowed herself to let go of her barrier and let all the tears ran down her face. She was so broken-hearted. Everything she had hoped for an hour ago was never going to take place. It was so final that she tried not to think about how it was. Being without him. How it would be living without him. The place in her heart that was only reserved for him since the day she was sure of his love went blank. There would never be anyone in her live that could ever fill this emptyness. She started to remember those happy days with him. The pure love and trust between them that everybody could sense the moment they entered the scene. They were so happy together. More tears flooded her eyes and silently rolled down her cheeks. Fate had played them a trick. She had missed him so much the last months. And after everything they went through today...

Her phone rang. She didn't wanted to take the call. It rang a second and third time. She took a breath and answered it.

"Hello..."

"Michelle it's Bill. Tony is alive."

"What?"

"He wasn't in the car. He's ok. I let Tony explain it to you. Hold on for him."

Bill wouldn't make a joke with her. He respected her to much for that.
Was that true? Could that be? Her heart bumped faster.

"Michelle it's me."

His vioce sounded exhausted. It was him! He was alive!

"Tony" she whispered.

Slowly it got through to her.

"Oh my god" she cried.

"It's ok sweetheart."

"Oh my god... What happend?"

She breathed heavily. Her heart had ached so much.

"She made somebody else wear my clothes... She needed to keep me alive until she got out. Jack figured it out. He was able to save me."

The relive was so bad that she didn't know what to say.

"I don't know what to say."

"Look you don't have to say anything sweetheart." He asured her. "I'mcoming to CTU right now. I'll see you in a few minutes... Michelle... I love you!"

"I love you Tony."

They hang up. He is alive! She had him back. She knew now she had him back. It still hurt inside of her. She realized how much she loved him. She loved him so much that she would never be happy again without him.

She got out of the car and went back to CTU where he would be in a few minutes.

She stood in the bullpen and a woman from CTU briefed her about the distroyed missile. She didn't really listen to her when her eyed finally made out a movement in the corridor. She wanted to see him now. She told that woman that they could pick up that later - when ... she saw Tony went around the corner. She had waited there since she arived here.

He could not be a ghost. She was unable to move or breath. He walked, more like limped, with big steps right to her. Fiercly he took her in his arms. He held her as tight as he could like never letting her go again.

"When they told my you were dead..." she grabbed his shoulders.

"I know... I'm sorry." he mumbled into her neck.

They kissed.

"I love you. I didn't realize how much until I thought I lost you." She whispered.

He felt her body go tense released his embrace to look into her face. Was that guilt?

"What is it?" He wondered.

"When that woman called and she told me that -"

"Hey, hey, hey" He shushed her. "You did what you had to do"

"But I didn't do what you did. You chose me and I chose -"

"Look! We did the best we could, right?"

And with everything he wanted her to show that he didn't care because he understood that she had to do this decision.

"Now it's over!"

He held her face in his hands and looked into her frightened eyes.

She kissed him. It was so overwhelming that they would be together again. They had a future. Now they could go on with everything that ment to be. They would live.

After helping Jack to escape they went back to CTU. In silence. No word between them. They took in the air and the presence of each other.