OKAY THIS IS A ONESHOT BECAUSE, HELL, I'M BORED AND NO ONE REVIEWS ME): SO MAKE ME HAPPY AND REVIEW... KAY?(; AND IF YOU REVIEW ME A QUESTION (OR PM THAT'S COOL, TOO) I CAN HAVE CIEL RESPOND TO IT! IN HIS... CIEL WAY...*COUGH* ON WITH THE SHOW!

SHORT SUMMARY: CIEL AND SEBASTIAN WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH THEIR FANGIRLS... AND IT'S NOT A PRETTY CONVERSATION.(;

*kisses and disses*

"Is this thing on?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"Okay. Finni, put the camera on me!" *Ciel rubs his temples*. "Sebastian and I have made a list of rules that we expect you all to-"

"SEBASSSSTIIIIAAAAAANNNNNn!" *MayRin runs into the room*.

*Ciel stands up and smacks her across the face*. "How DARE you interrupt me in the middle of something important?" *She runs off the screen crying*.

"Bocchan," *Sebastian walks onto the screen*. "That wasn't very kind of you." *he stands behind Ciel's chair, like a good butler*.

"Sebastian, I don't recall asking you you're opinion. Now hand me the stupid papers, so I can get this over with." *Sebastian hands him a long list*. "Rule 1) STOP MAKING ME GAY! I realize, it's your fangirl dreams for me to want Sebatian, but let me remind you, he. Is. My. Servant! I would NEVER stoop so low as to-" *Sebastian kisses him and Ciel replies enthusiastically*.

*Sebastian steals list and reads off of it while Ciel trys to catch his breath*. "Rule 2) I will never, in my life and on Bocchan's soul, mate with Claude. He is like my kin, and I find it disturbing. Frankly, he looks so much like me it would be like me fucking myself! I might as well jack off while watching myself in the mirror!" *He looks irritated while Ciel laughs*.

"!" *MayRin runs back on screen*. "Someone arrived looking for-" *Claude runs on screen*.

"Have you seen His Majesty?" *Ciel goes pale at the thought of Alois in his manor*. "Never mind then." *Claude runs away, and MayRin scampers out*.

*Ciel rips the paper out of Sebastian's hand, and reads the next one*. "Rule 3) I wouldn't even contemplate doing Alois... and I don't want to talk about how many of the poor excuses of literature I have read that indicate I-" *he coughs*"-Love him!" *he shakes his head, blushing* "Rule 4) Although William and Grell appreciate your thoughts on them, they would appreciate it if you stopped making them a couple. William is very straight, and Grell pointed out that William is to, and I quote, 'he's stiff! I mean, does he have a stick up his butt or something? Unless he does... I should ask him...'."

*Sebastian giggles like a fangirl* "Rule 5) I do not wish to partake in any 'acts' with MayRin. I find her incompetant and aggravating." *He rubs the bridge of his nose as the shouting in the background sounds like "NO! Sebastian said-" and "BUUUUUT I NEEEED TOO!"*.

"Rule 6) I rather dislike the thought of my father never dying and Sebastian 'making his toes curl'." *Ciel shudders*. "It frightens me."

Grell pops on screen. "Oh Sebby-chan~! Don't forget our dateeeeee ;)." *he grabs Sebastian who is frozen with shock and pauses*. "Rule 7) Always make me a woman! IT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE!"

*Ciel attempts to grab Sebby, but misses*. "Damn that Death God. He took the paper too. Now I can't refer to anything..." *he walks out mumbling to himself*. "WHAT THE HELL IS ALOIS DOING IN MY BEDROOM!"

*Finni jumps in front of camera* "Also, it would be kind if you could not make me, Bard, and MayRin into a "threesome". OKAY THANK YOU!" *he smiles adorably and winks, shutting off the camera*

*kisses and disses*

ME: SOOO, HOW WAS IT?

CIEL: BITCH! YOU MADE ME GAY, EVEN THOUGH I SAID I WASN'T!

ME: NO ONE SAID I HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU, PHANTOMHIVE! *PATS HIS HEAD!*

SEBASTIAN: *SLAPPING MY HAND AWAY* NO TOUCHY MY UKE!

ME: *FANGIRL SQUEAL AND PASSES OUT*

FINNI: PLEASE REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS OR PM MORE RULES! NOW, I'M OFF TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS YOUNG GIRL ;)