Disclaimer: I do not own anything by Ayumi Kanou or Michael Buckley…but I do own a copy of Dictatorial Grimoire: The Complete Collection by Seven Seas Entertainment
Warnings: references, language, crude humor, implied sex, yaoi, violence….in the words of so many of my fellow fanfiction authors out there: IF YOU DON'T LIKE, THEN DON'T READ THIS STORY! MAI FIC MAI RULES! LAST CHANCE TO CLOSE THIS IF YOU DON'T WANNA CONTINUE!
Timeline: Post-manga, Pre-Magic and Other Misdemeanors, Book 5 canon AU divergence
Prologue: Welcome to the Hood
"PUCK! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR FACE IN!" A young, feminine roar rang throughout the house followed by the sound of a prepubescent boy cackling madly at the girl's suffering.
"Isn't it way too early to be dealing with all of this?" A man grumbled tiredly as he poked his head out from the room he was staying in. Normally, people would be a bit cranky in having to wake up at 4 in the morning to deal with the chaos, but if you're Jacob Grimm II, aka Uncle Jake, you'd get used to such antics pretty fast. Even more so were Relda Grimm, the matriarch of the Grimm household, and Daphne Grimm, the youngest in the family and little sister to Sabrina Grimm, who is currently trying (and failing) to disembowel Puck, the family's residential fairy trickster, with her bare hands. Knowing his mother and youngest niece, they were still heavily asleep and snoring over the noise.
"You can't catch me, stinky! I must say, the green paint and eggplant smoothie with extra onions is an improvement on your ugly face!" A certain fairy prince named Puck sang mischievously as he dodged the pajama-clad smoothie-mix covered girl's attempts at pummeling him into paste.
Oh well, he might as well get breakfast ready. Jake walked out of the bedroom where his older brother and his wife laid while under some sort of sleeping spell. He took a quick glace back at the slumbering couple before making his way towards the bathroom.
"Oh, liebling. Let boys be boys. It's not like you couldn't clean up afterwards." Granny Relda said as she served out bowls of squid ink rice topped with sticky, fermented beans and eggs.
Sabrina was grumbling vicious insults and descriptive ways to get back at the self-proclaimed Trickster King if she ever got a chance. The soon-to-be-12-year-old had to take a 2 hour shower to get rid of the gunk caked in various places. Learning from the last time Puck covered her in mysterious goop, she had paid special attention to her long blonde hair, so it wouldn't end up looking like a rejected Lady Gaga hairstyle.
"Interesting to know, booger breath. I'd love to see you try and do those things to me." Puck challenged his frequent prank victim. Sabrina shuddered in disgust as she made a mistake of looking at Puck while he's eating and saw him cram handful of black rice and stringy beans into his mouth in-between words. Looking down at her still untouched breakfast bowl, she mustered up her courage to take a bite. It tasted weirdly meaty.
"Eat up, lieblings. You'll need all of your energy for today's training." The two girls would be testing their tracking skills. Granny Relda has made plans on getting Elvis, their Great Dane, to run off into the woods, allowing her granddaughters to try and track him down to their planned rendezvous spot.
Sabrina ended up getting a second bowl. If Granny Relda said that she'll need the energy, then it meant they were going to be at this until the sun sets. She and Daphne made a mental note to pack a backpack with lots of water and plenty of snacks.
Once breakfast was eaten, the girls are prepared, and Elvis was ready to take off, everyone met at the front of the house.
"Now you girls are going to look for Elvis and then bring him back at our usual area." Jake told his two nieces.
"Don't you worry, lieblings. You've already tracked down rabbits and deer. Elvis should be no problem. Now are there any questions before we start?" Granny said.
"Um…Granny?" Daphne raised her hand.
"Yes, liebling?"
"What's that?" The 7-year-old pointed at something in the sky. It looked like a wormhole straight out of a sci-fi movie. But that wasn't what got everyone worried.
Something was coming out of the wormhole. It was a large mansion. It was appearing closer and closer. And it was falling at a breakneck speed. Towards their house.
"Everyone get back inside! The protection spells on our house can hold from the impact!" Granny Relda yelled. The family quickly ran back inside. With the amount of spells and wards woven into Grimm house, it could withstand several hurricanes plus an entire army with not even a scratch. However, she doubted the mansion had such protection. She could only hope there was no one inside; otherwise, they would be seriously injured from the impact at best.
After the door was locked, everyone huddled into a group in the living room and braced for impact. They were not disappointed when a loud crash was heard outside the door, and the house slightly trembled, knocking over the many precariously placed books littered throughout the Grimm house. Once everything was dead silent did the Grimm family finally got up.
"Everyone alright?" Jake said as he helped his mother stand.
"Everything's all mucho alright-o." Daphne chirped.
"I don't know, I think smelly here might have had a little accident judging by the way she was screaming her head off earlier." Puck thumbed at the blond haired girl next to him.
"Funny you should ask. I was about to say the same if what I'm smelling is right. Oh wait, you smell like a garbage dump all the time." Sabrina shot back.
The whole room was laughing. There was no need to ask if those two were alright.
Suddenly, the unmistakable sound of someone knocking on their front door echoed throughout the house. The Grimms fall silent for a whole minute until panic, concern, paranoia, and a whole plethora of similar emotions set in. There's no way the mansion, no matter how large, can survive intact. The fact that there might have been someone inside and surviving would be nothing short of a miracle.
"OH MY GOD! SOMEONE HAD SURVIVED THAT CRASH?!" Sabrina shrieked. The preteen accurately described everyone's thoughts were somewhere along that line.
Granny Relda was the first to snap out of her shock and went for the door. Whoever was behind the door might be hurt and needed help. She was prepared to greet the survivor(?) and have Mr. Canis fetch the first aid kit, but her words died as she took in the relatively unharmed figure in front of her.
Standing on the front porch was a boy. Other than being slightly ruffled like he just took a walk extremely windy weather, he was perfectly fine. No major injuries, no blood, not even so much as a tiny cut on his clothes. The look on his face seemed to scream, "I have no idea what I have gotten myself into." Despite his blond hair and green eyes, his features didn't seem to fit into any Ferryport Landing native that the Grimm family would know of. In fact, Sabrina thought he looked almost Asian. The unknown boy opened his mouth to say something, but the foreign language didn't make sense to her ears. It sounded like he was asking for something. A minute or two passed and then he sighed. Apparently realizing they don't understand from the confused expressions on their faces, the part-Asian(?) began to struggle trying to speak English with a heavy accent complete with exaggerated hand gestures.
"Where…help…need…friends…house…" The Grimms didn't answer.
The reason is because the occupants had noticed something behind the boy. Apparently, the mansion somewhat was fine. It didn't land on the Grimm house at all. It had landed right in front of their porch with a little more than 5 feet to spare. Talk about a new next door neighbor.
AN: HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY! I've decided to celebrate by posting this story up. Well, here's the prologue. However, I currently have no beta for now, but I do have a grammar-Nazi brother on hand. Downside, he doesn't know either series. (*cough*totallynotproposingsomethingtoanyone*cough*)
But anyways, thanks for reading this, and please leave behind constructive criticism. ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)