Rachel Berry was bouncing with joy as she goes backstage after finishing her first night performing as Fanny Brice. As she opened the door to her dressing room she was surprised to find it looking and smelling like a flower shop. There were roses, lilies, carnations, daffodils, and every other flower that was in season occupied all the space in her room. She could barely find a flat surface to place the bouquet of daisies in her arms much less find a place to sit on.
"Did you get the lilies?" asked her boyfriend Aaron Puckerman who hugged her from behind and gave her a peck on the cheek.
"Oh, those are from you," exclaimed Rachel as she took the flowers in her hands and inhaled the wonderful scent. "They're very lovely, and my favorite. I haven't gotten through all the cards yet, I'd probably check them at home. Can you grab as many bouquets as you can and hail a cab?"
"You're bringing all these home?" asked Aaron as he gestured towards all the flowers in the room. "It'll probably take four people, three trips to clear the room."
"Which is why we should get going now. Come on, chop chop!" said Rachel, emphasizing the last two words with a playful tap on Aaron's butt.
"There's just the hyacinths left, don't worry I got this, Darling," shouted Rachel to Aaron who was puffing from his fifth trip to the waiting cab as he carries another armload of flowers.
As Rachel bent down to grab her shoes, she noticed a brown box pushed far back under her vanity. She grabbed the box and pulled the lid off to find an unusual present. Curious as to who will give her such an odd present, she ripped off the attached card and read the message –
Berry,
I'm sure you've received tons of flowers already that you can create your own float and join the Rose Parade.
So I got you this instead, figured with all the singing you have to do you can never have too much water.
Noah,
Inside the box were twelve bottles of crystal clear water.
Santana sprayed the beer she was drinking all over the table and Puck as she part-coughed, part-shouted and part-laughed, "Water? You gave her water?"
"Hey! Cut it out, I just bought that table" said Puck as he frantically wipes off the table before the beer leaves its permanent marks.
"What the hell were you thinking, no, scratch that. What were you sniffing through your nose that got into your brain and make you believe that water was an appropriate gift to give to the girl you've been crushing on since we were in preschool on the opening night of her play?"
"You forgot to add that she's my twin brother's girlfriend for five years now. And come on San, I couldn't give her flowers, that's Aarons thing. He's the boyfriend. I was being a "friend" so I got her something she can actually use or in this case consume. Unlike other "friends" I know who didn't even give her anything after enjoying the free play, food and drinks," countered Puck who put air quotation marks on the word friends as he glared at Santana.
"Saying I enjoyed that is an overstatement. Hey, I won't normally make myself sit on a stuffy chair, listen to lame ass songs for two hours if it weren't for Rachel. My presence is already a gift in itself. Besides, I promised to treat her to a bar on her next day off and that's way better than you're extraordinary gift of H2O. Seriously, why didn't you throw in some oxygen tanks as well and told her it was to help her breathing?"
"Fuck you, Satan. You don't know nothing," shouted Puck as he stormed off the room.
"Hey! Don't walk out on me Puckerman, no me gusta! I know you have the hots for Berry and whenever you're near her you lose all your badassness that you're so proud of. You have your palms get sweaty and your brains turn to mush but you can't do shit because your brother is already all over her and claimed her and you don't want to start a fight, but couldn't you think of anything better to give her? It doesn't have to be diamonds, Aaron only gave her flowers. Its Berry! We've known her since preschool, you could've gotten something pink or with stars or anything remotely related to Broadway and she'd be squealing and jumping for joy. Was there really nothing on Target?"
Santana looked up to see Puck walk back to the living room and throw a box at her which landed on her lap. She opened the box and inside was an original playbill of Funny Girl with Barbra Streisand's autograph.
"Well, fuck me."
