It wasn't an act of kindness, or cruelty. It was almost random chance, if there was such a thing. It was survival, necessity, emergency. It was all of the things Loki never wanted to succumb to, a situation he did not think would befall him. All the effort into being in control was not something he expected to see wasted. Random chance. Of course the God of Thunder's best asset would be chance. Lightning strikes at random. He should have foreseen that.
It was an opportunistic move. A neat escape, an asset saved and a way into his brother's little world of mortals. Her mind, her tiny mortal mind, was already prepared for his invasion, he'd made sure of it when he altered her dreams. She was there, that's all there was to it.
Because Thor had just charged a lightning strike, unaware that Loki's shield that held Darcy wouldn't withstand the impact. And hidden among fog and ice, Loki's sudden absence wouldn't sink in until it was too late to figure out what he'd done. That he'd saved Darcy's life by transferring his power to her was inconsequential, he was certain.
The plan had gone too wrong, too quickly. When he had taken Darcy into the desert, to lure Thor towards them, he had felt in control. Darcy protected, Thor weak and mortal, the Destroyer at the ready. Everything had been in place. But of course the Allfather would have made it so Thor could best him. He'd always preferred Loki's buffoonish brother, the Allfather's own flesh and blood. Of course Mjolnir would come to Thor's aid. Of course he'd have help. How else would Thor have ever won anyone's favor if it wasn't for undeserved support? Support that he, Loki, had never gotten, had always envied so much. He should have foreseen that as well, but it was not a concept the lonely god was used to.
So he fell into her. Falling, yes, would be the best way to describe it. It was that deliciously surrendering feeling of falling asleep, his form dissolving into hers in the same imperceptible way that night dissolves into dawn. His Asgardian attributes protected her from the blast of lightning, the change hidden in the smoke and icy debris that flew out in all directions. And as he heard his brother's distressed cries, his foolish relief at Darcy's safety, the battle faded in Loki's mind. The pain and the bitter taste of his defeat suddenly seemed more like a mere change of plans.
He stayed hidden inside her on the first week. He gave her control over their fused (and visually indistinguishable) body as he learned her manner of speech, her likes and her dislikes. If he was going to invade his brother's circle and rot it from within, he'd need to imitate her perfectly, down to the finest detail.
She wakes up after dreaming of golden spires and crystal bridges. Her sleep clings to the edges of her eyes, to the seam between her lips.
She sits in bed, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep.
She tries to fall asleep again. It never works.
She puts her glasses on.
She goes to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. Takes her glasses off because she can't stand her reflection in the morning, all frizzed up hair and hollow eyes.
She brushes her teeth.
She flosses meticulously. After an inspection in the mirror, she brushes again.
Satisfied, she takes a mouthful of mouthwash, winces, and tries to swish it in her mouth. Gives up, spitting it out within ten seconds. Rinses with water four times, trying to regain feeling in her mouth.
She slips out of her boxers and T-shirt to step into the shower. After several tries of getting the water to the right temperature, she gives up and gets under the slightly-too-hot or slightly-too-cold water.
She sings in the shower. Badly.
She washes and rewashes her hair.
After dressing, she heads downstairs and makes herself a giant mug of french vanilla coffee.
She eats pancakes with Thor. She marvels at his regained godhood and at how he got back his miu-miu.
She helps Jane piece together her research.
She tends to her farm on Farmville.
She gets on Tumblr. Scroll. Scroll. Refresh.
She gets a phone-call from some friend or other. She makes up an excuse to hang up.
Either Erik or Jane calls her to have lunch. She goofs off with Thor at the table.
She watches television. For hours.
She gets back to Tumblr. Scroll. Scroll. Refresh. Scroll.
She tries to read for schoolwork. Gives up.
She gets back to Jane to help her with the research.
She makes dinner. Thor tries to help.
She eats with them, and by now it is obvious how comfortable and content she is with them.
She reads college assignments, and there is no hesitation. Perhaps dinner removed her laziness.
She brushes her teeth once more, repeating the same meticulous ritual.
She showers again, but only puts on a robe.
She goes to her room and locks the door.
She stands, naked, in front of her mirror. There is something in her reflection. Something that didn't wash away when she showered. Beyond the myriad flaws she sees in herself, there is something unwanted, something that wasn't there before.
Loki stares back at her through her own eyes. An invisible smile plays across his lips, and it is reflected across Darcy's. She catches the smile and looks away.
She dresses for bed. She dreams.
In the following week, she goes to her classes, she does her assignments, she helps Jane, she browses Tumblr. But every night she stands in front of that mirror, searching.