Hi...
So I kinda wasn't going to publish this story, until I had finished my other one, but this story just keeps popping up on my desk top (I think my partner keeps putting it there) so I decided to post the first chapter, before giving it to my Beta so all mistakes are mine and I take the blame for them.
So I hope you enjoy this story so far...
Chapter One My choices
You're not always given a choice on how you wish for your life to turn out.
But as I stood between Edward my boyfriend and Jacob my best friend, I wished to know who to choose, and if I was to choose would I be happy with them or would it end badly, would I be able to fix it if I choose the wrong one, I know that I wouldn't be able to handle another heart break if it happened again, I wasn't strong enough to be able to survive, especially without Jacob by my side, but I know that I couldn't live without Edward either.
Biting at my lip I realised that yet again I was standing on both sides of the treaty line, on the Forks side of the line Edward stood and on the La Push side Jacob stood, both equally attractive and attentive, though if she admitted Jacob was more so then Edward, at least Jacob listened, and didn't command her every move.
Sighing she decided that she had better break up the macho feast before it turned fatal, dragging her feel across to Jacob's side she turned to address Edward.
Smiling at him lightly she stated "I will see you tomorrow after the bonfire"
"Goodbye my love" Edward called as he slinked away from where Jacob and I stood on the side of the road.
Watching him slip into his Volvo, Bella felt a sense of relief pass through her, at seeing him leave, she loved him she truly did and she was happy, she kept repeating to herself.
Even though the voice in the back of her head shouted that it was a mistake.
She loved him enough to marry him; she loved him enough to become a vampire, to give up her life as it was in this world, to join his.
All the doubts coursing through her head are all because Alice is going overboard with the wedding, it wasn't because in three days time she would lose her warmth, she wouldn't be able to eat pizza or hang around the pack any longer, she wouldn't be able to cook with Emily or even pretend to be interested in what game Charlie was watching, or have long conversations with Angela about boys in general.
Feeling that squeezing feeling around her chest again, Bella closed her eyes and started to take deep breathes, she was fine she kept repeating this is normal.
Opening her eyes she looked up into the sunny smile of her best friend, smiling at him lightly Bella gripped his hand tugging on it lightly she stated "come on let's get to Emily's, I promised to help her cook"
Jacob frowned at her, starring at her before stating "you don't want to marry Edward"
No. she didn't want to marry anyone, but right now Edward was safer then Jacob, Edward was safer than them all; he wouldn't imprint and leave her broken.
"Of course I do" Bella stated, running her hands over her arms "it's just wedding nerves"
"You hate weddings" Jacob stated as he walked to the other side of the car "you hate the whole idea of them, why the hell would you want to marry someone for the whole of eternity, what if once you are married you don't love Edward anymore"
Bella snorted lightly "to hate someone in marriage you need to be married at least three months, and by then I'll be a vampire and it won't matter what I think"
"so your still going to pick a filthy blood sucker over a heartbeat, christ Bella, why can't you just stay home" Jacob asked his body starting to shake "god, you could marry the marshmallow for all I care, just don't get turned"
"it's not your discussion" Bella snapped, her hands going up in the air "it's mine and I choose this, you didn't so if you were really my best friend you'll butt out of my decision and let me make my own god damn mistakes"
Jacob snarled, before turning on his heels and bursting into fur before trotting off to the forest.
"that's really mature Jacob Black" Bella snapped "just go hide in your wolf form, instead of admitting you were wrong" screaming in frustration Bella snarled "I'll drive my fucking self to Emily's house"
Stomping over to the driver's side of the car, Bella cursed as she noticed that no keys were in the ignition, jumping out of the car, she scooped up a bit of jeans, realising it was his left pocket Bella grabbed out his phone, putting it in her pocket, she continued to look for his other pocket, hoping that the damn keys were in the other side.
Giving up Bella sat on the side of the road, placing her head in her hands she couldn't help but feel that this was a sense of déjà, she always seemed to be losing her temper of late, and hurting either Edward or Jacob's feelings.
Why couldn't the pair of them accept that she had already decided her fate.
She decided that she would be a vampire the moment she could save Edward from the voultori, she would do anything to ensure that he had been alright, and that he survived.
But now she wasn't so sure she should have got on the plane with Alice.
Breathing deeply, Bella snapped her eyes up to see a sandy coloured wolf starring at her, raising her eye brow at Seth she stated "be a good wolfie, and find the arse hats keys for me"
Seth starred at her for a minute before trotting over to the nearest bush, phasing human he slipped on a pair of cut offs, and a shirt.
"Hello Seth" Bella called
"Hey Bella" Seth replied, as he started to fish around for Jacob's keys coming back with them in his hands handing them to her he smiled at her again "I'll see you later at the bon fire" rushing off into the forest again leaving her on the side of the road.
Shaking her head, Bella will never understand Seth or Quil for the matter; those two are defiantly on the same stuff.
Dusting herself down Bella walked over to Jacob's rabbit, slipping into the driver seat, she had to adjust it all the way forward before going anywhere, starting it she turned it around and headed towards Emily's house.
Pulling up into the drive way, Bella slipped out of the car, jiggling the keys a little Bella smirked before throwing them over the top of the car, she know it was childish but at the minute Jacob Black could go to hell.
Turning around Bella eyed Paul and Jared sitting on the front step.
Daring either of them to say something she brushed in between them and entered Emily's house.
Spotting Emily in the kitchen, she felt some of her tension leave her.
She was always at peace in Emily's kitchen of late.
Smiling at Bella over her shoulder Emily asked "so, what did you say to Jacob this time?"
Rolling her eyes Bella slipped on one of Emily's aprons and started to peel potatoes "he still doesn't get why I choose Edward"
"Because you love him" Emily stated as she rolled out hamburger meat
Bella stopped peeling potatoes to look at Emily slightly. "Yes that's why"
Emily hummed "are you sure, the last few times I've seen you, you haven't actually said the words"
Bella frowned lightly, as she thought over Emily's words, had she actually said it out loud.
No, she hadn't said it since the newborn army, she loved him she know that but was it really enough?
Biting her lip Bella asked "how do you know you made the right choose, choosing Sam?"
Emily smiled at her, making sure that no wolf was around; she grabbed Bella's hand and the keys to Sam's truck, leading Bella out of the house they spotted Jared and Paul carrying wood through, waving at them Emily stated "just tell Sam that we have gone to get some drinks for this evening"
"Quil was going to do that" Paul stated, his eyes lingering slightly on Bella
"Yes and we all know he will forget" Emily returned as she continued tugging Bella towards the truck.
Climbing into the passenger side Bella waited for Emily to start the truck.
Bella waited until Emily had pulled the truck out of the drive way before asking "where are we going?"
"I went and seen the Sharman Bella, I had two lines to follow one with Sam and the other with my boyfriend" looking at Bella Emily continued "I drank two dream potions one for each line and I fell asleep instantly, I dreamed of pain, and loneliness with my boyfriend, but with Sam I dreamed of sunshine, growing old and children"
"So it tells you which path to follow?" Bella asked
"No, it shows you which one would be like, if you'll be happy"
"I'm a paleface" Bella stated "will he help me"
Emily nodded "we'll beg, that's what we'll do, if you're not happy with Edward your life will end, you won't be able to go back from that, what if 6 months down the track you want to give Jacob a chance, or in years to come you hate each other, if you come back a vampire the pack will kill you" gripping her free hand in Bella's Emily continued "your discussion doesn't just affect you anymore it affects everyone in your life, and if turning into a vampire is the happy alternative then, you need to know" smiling at her Emily added "besides I would miss you too"
Bella smiled she know it was the truth but for the life of her she couldn't really wrap her head around it, she didn't know why she really had to give up everyone just because she was a vampire, couldn't she still be friends with them at least she would be able to live forever alongside them, she know deep down that she would never be able to be around a human once she was a vampire.
"Thank you Emily" Bella whispered.
Emily smiles slightly at her before turning back to focus on the road, her hand clasped with Bella's in the centre of the cab.
Bella's heart seemed to pause as a small cabin on the edge of La Push come into view, taking a deep breath her heart restarted as she climbed out of the cab, taking the steps behind Emily she wasn't sure what to expect as she walked into Quil Senior's living room.
"Quil" Emily called through the house, as she stepped through it.
A frail man slunk out of the shadows in the living room; he eyed them both before he turned to Bella "I've been waiting for you to come here"
Swallowing nervously Bella waited for him to speak.
"You're here to see if you have made the right choice, with the Vampire yes?"
Bella nodded
Old Quil hummed lightly as he walked over to a small table in the middle of longue room, grabbing a wooden box he walked over and placed it in Bella's out stretched hands.
"These tonic's will help you see your future, tonight by the fire take the first bottle, then the next after you have finished with the first dream, and the third one is to be your last"
Bella frowned "three?"
Old Quil laughed at her "yes girl your destiny can go three ways"
So let me know what you all think? is it worth continueing or should I just forget about it?
thanks all for reading it
Lily