PAPER CUT
By Justin Ezekiel
Justin Ezekiel: Welcome to the reenactment of the paper cut. I have a few notes before I officially begin.
Joao: Can we start the story already? I can't wait to start again, it'll be a whole new ball game!
JE (shortened for conveniences sake): Shut up, Joao. I'm speaking to people.
Joao: YOU DON'T OWN ME!!!
JE: You're right, I don't. I control you.
Joao: You win this one, JE. stalks off
JE: Anyways, normal Disclaimer here. Owned a copy of the game, loved it, writing a story about it. The story is controlled through a diary that Joao keeps on him. Anything Joao writes, happens, but the diary was unfortunately made to where anyone could write in it if they figured it out. Other people will borrow the diary when Joao is unavailable (unconscious, kidnapped, etc.), but the diary will pretty much remain in his hands.
Joao: Can you start now?
JE: Fine. You know the drill, Joao. Oh, and I'm starting on the boat instead of in Joao's room
There is a darkness here. I should open my eyes and look around. I really should, my bed's uncomfortable all of a sudden. I sit up in bed – it's made of paper. That's odd, it was a normal bed five minutes ago. I looked around and saw a short sword sitting against the wall. "Oh, so that's where I left it!" I picked up the sword and swung it. It felt good in my hand.
"Next stop: Rogueport." The boat slowed down and I saw Rogueport ahead of me. Then it hit me: wasn't Rogueport a town in that video game Paper Mario: Thousand year door? And after that, I realized that everything was made of paper! Well, in a painful way. My hand slipped on the doorway and sort of a bad paper cut taught me that.
The boat stopped and I got off. The world was paper… and me? Nope, normal. I had 3 dimensions. I walked into the town and looked around. Ah… a bazaar… well, not much of a bazaar. A noose and some run-down shops. Oh, yeah, and about a billion wanted posters for Waluigi. So I was in Mario's world… interesting.
I heard a commotion down at the docks. That captain whats-his-name… Grodus? No, that's the boss… Crump? Yeah, that's it! I ran and watched from the top.
Goombella shouting at Crump and Mario was trying to defend her big mouth. I watched when suddenly a huge red curtain fell down and hit me on the head, knocking me off the stairwell that stood above the stage – wait, stage? I was involved in the battle?
"GET OUTTA THE WAY!!!" The X-naut lord yelled at me. I stood up and brushed myself off. "MOVE IT!"
"Shut the hell up! Who do you think you are?" Crump paused.
"Who… are you?"
"I'm Joao Franco! So shut up and run off!" Crump paused.
"But… you're not in the script…" He pulled out a script. "Damn writers!!!"
Hey, did he just curse me? Well…
Lightning shot down and struck Crump on the forehead. I was just watching. Crump screamed out in agony and anger before looking at me. "You're first!" He ran at me. I jumped out of the way.
"Try again!" However, a spotlight shone on Mario. "I'm an ally. Let's just beat this guy. He's annoying." Mario made that little 'okay' sound and jumped on Crump. A little star popped out and a big yellow star read '1' in a exclamatory manner.
"Alright… time to watch the master…" The spotlight hit me. I ran forward and slashed into Crump with the sword. 2! Ha!
Crump attempted to dive onto Mario again. Mario jumped Crump again and this time, he bounced and hit him twice. Well, the guy only has 5 HP, he crumbled.
"Ugh… this isn't over! GET THEM!!!" All his little X-nauts dived at us. I calmly walked out of the way and reached into my back pocket.
"Stick of dynamite… lighter… here you go! Hold onto that!" I gave it to an X-naut who jumped into the fray. "RUN MARIO RUN!!!" I dashed away and into the main square. Mario and Goombella came out just as a lovely explosion took out the X-nauts. I don't know why people were screaming. All I saw was a little bit of scrap paper.
"THE CARNAGE!!!!!!!"
"Oh, be quiet." I then remembered how they were made of paper and felt bad for a second.
Mario was accepting Goombella as a party member when I saw him again. "Hey, you helped me out, too. I should thank you."
"Don't. You'll grow to hate me, of that I'm sure." That earned me an odd look. "Anyways, I want to offer to join you for awhile. Not as a partner, as a second Hero character."
"That's a little cocky!" I sighed. Goombella… nosy, but on spot.
"If I or Mario fall in battle, we have a serious problem on our hands. However, I'll help you guys out as long as you do the same for me." A white box opened above Mario's head. On a blue polka-dot background, it plainly said '???? Has joined your party????'s special ability is the fact that he moves independently of Mario and his partner and can fight battles on his own – but if he falls in battle, it's game over.'.
"So, what's your name?" Somehow, Goombella pulled off the pronunciation of four question marks.
"It's Joao – Joao Franco."
"Okay, then. We're going to visit Professor Frankly now."
"I'm going to the site of the thousand year door."
"What?"
"Call me crazy, but I have a strong feeling that it will have a lot to do with the disappearance of Princess Peach."
The thousand year door. In Paper Mario, it opened into the abyss where the Shadow Queen awaited to possess Peach. What was my purpose here?
Light shone brightly all of a sudden and a figure appeared. I try to describe him, but for some reason, the pen won't write. Not that he's so breathtakingly handsome – I just can't describe him. He's my creator, and he doesn't let me describe him.
However, I can say that he's a guy, and he's about 4 years older than me. "Hello, J.E."
"Hello, Joao. Well, it looks like destiny."
"What?"
"The world was altered when you appeared. You displaced the lines of fate, and the fates have changed their weave. You must travel with Mario new enemies hide in the Mushroom Kingdom, and they are ones Mario can't handle. While Mario collects the Crystal Stars, you must find and bring the trinity orbs."
"Trinity Orbs?"
"Yes. Orb of Light, Orb of Darkness, Orb of Life. They unlock seals that lead to Argeth."
"Um.. Argeth?"
"The Shadow Queen's brother. A wicked being of much more influential power, he is the bigger threat."
"J.E., this isn't what I agreed to."
"I will help out, Joao." J.E. always said that. "My say still holds position in fate's laws. After you collect a Trinity Orb, bring it here. I will do what can to keep Argeth sealed as long as I can."
But you're the WRITER!!! You can kill or create ANYONE at will! I sighed in frustration.
"I understand you, Joao. But this demon plagues my world, too. I must fight him here, where his influence is almost as strong as mine. I will do my best to keep things as they were in the game, but I'm not perfect." J.E. looked down. "I will give you this, though. You have a sword, I'm going to give you the rare ability to heal." J.E. took out his quill pen and drafted in the air. I learned Heal!
"So, where' s the first Trinity Orb?"
"The first one is ------ ---- --- ----- ------ -- -----" J.E. paused and grabbed his throat. "------ ---- --- ----- ------ -- -----… Argeth is blocking my words! I'm sorry, Joao, you must find it on your own." J.E. disappeared.
So… what to do now? Better wait for Mario and the whole 'find the crystal stars' crap…
JE: Well, there's Chapter 1. A title? Don't be ridiculous. That could give away the contents of the chapter.
Joao: Well, I can't believe you. We were just gonna revise Paper Cut, but you had to throw in a demon king and give me a QUEST! I HATE QUESTS!!
JE: Be quiet.
Joao: So, where is the first Trinity Orb, since we're in the real world now.
JE: Nope, not telling.
Joao: Aw……
Link: SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY!!! smacks into computer screen
Young Link: I'm gonna grow up to be THAT?! grabs J.E. by the shirt collar KILL ME WHILE I'M YOUNG! Please!!
J.E.: You're separate characters, calm down.