I wrote this like years ago, and re-read it and was like, "holy fuck was I twelve." It wasn't bad, but if I'm going to continue it some shit is going to need to be fixed. I still have a very unusual way of speaking that will make no sense, today I said nermine instead of never mind. I felt really ashamed after words. Seriously though, I hate the word panties. And now it's G!P and which worries me because of this site going cray-cray but I'm all over the web and I always use the same name, so you'll find me.

Norwegian E-Mails

Chapter 1. Rude Awakening

"Oh yeah, Santana right there," Santana hears a voice moan as her hand slowly makes it's way up a smooth thigh feeling herself getting more and more turned on by the desperate sound of the girls voice. Santana knows she's heard the voice before, but can't quite pin point whom it belonged to. Still slowly starts moving her hand higher until she lightly grazes the inside of the girls upper thigh, moving right next to the heat of the place she longs to be. When the girl starts to moan louder Santana feels a light stirring in her jeans. Right as her hands slowly move to the girl's core Santana hears a moan that clears the sex induced fog in her head. She then stops everything, freezing, realizing that the girl is manhands herself. Rachel Berry and then screams "BERRY? What the fuck!" Rachel leans up, now in plain sight, and starts to shake Santana's shoulders saying, "Santana, wake up! Wake up now, what's wrong?"

At that moment Santana springs awake, slamming her forehead into the person who woke her up. Realizing it's Quinn she quickly grabs on to her and sobs, "Thank god you woke me up, Quinn. I was having the worst nightmare ever!"

Quinn looks at her sceptically and says "Yeah, I could really tell. All the screaming you were doing and how sweaty you are. What was the dream about anyway?"

Oh shit, oh shit. What the fuck do I say! "I had a dream you slept with Puck when you were drunk on wine coolers and feeling fat and had a baby named Beth that Manhand's long lost mother adopted! It was horrible!" Great, one creepy dream and I can't even think good lies, way to go Lopez.

Quinn doubles over laughing. Getting back up and whipping a tear away she says "Yeah, whatever Santy. That boy is way to hung up on Kurt to even look at anyone else, let alone a girl. Besides, we all know that everyone in the Glee Club is queerer then a three dollar bill."

Santana looks relieved that Quinn believed her story. "Yeah except for Treasure Trail and Finnosence. They seem to be doing the breeder dance or something." Santana says dejectedly, hoping Quinn doesn't pick up her tone.

Quinn just laughs this off saying, "You know they are just each others big gay beards. They are some sneaky gays I tell you. Some people can't handle the slushy facials. I think they do wonders for my skin though, my face is just so soft today. Feel it Santy!"

Santana looks at Quinn strange, sensing something off about the girl. Noticing her tired eyes and seeing that she is still in the same clothes she wore yesterday Santana asks, "Were you out all night with Brittany again? Seriously. She's already delusional from all the weed you guys smoke, you're starting to act like her too."

"Hey! Don't call her delusional. Not everyone can smoke and stay ever so sane like you Santy"

Santana snarls back at Quinn, "Quit calling me Santy! It's not fucking funny. Now change and get some sunglasses on, we have school today."

"Fuuucckk, can we skip? Please? I have some left?"

Santana sighs. "Not today, Quinny. I have a major test and you know we can't miss Glee again."

"Boo you whore! I'm driving!"

Santana gets up and chases Quinn to the car. "Like hell you are, Smokey the Bear, I don't want to die today."

Santana makes it through the rest of the school day with out anything strange happening. She has all but forgotten about the dream. The only new development is how close Brittany and Quinn seem to be. She's really starting to feel like the third wheel to their little high, ditsy blonde bike they seem to have formed. She's managed to avoid Rachel all day, except for one close call where she had to hide in the AV room. Lord knows just seeing Santana gave Jew-fro in there a stiffy. She booked it to her next class before either of them could notice her.

Good work, Lopez. Now to complete the mission. Don't listen to Berry, don't look at Berry, if she sings try and focus on something gross. Stare at Finn. Stare at him hard. All day. Like you want to touch his dick.

Finn, looking terrified, finally grows the cahones to ask Santana, "Ummm, S-s-s-san-santana... Why are you staring at me like that, it's kinda umm... really making me weird."

Santana, slipping right back into her HBIC persona practically growls back, "It would weird you out Finnter Pan, having a girl stare at any repressed homosexual creeps them out. Speaking of repressed feelings, where is Tinkerbell? Off with Wendy again? Tisk, tisk Finnter Pan. If you can't control your woman you should consider seeing what Captain Hook has been hiding in his pirate pants."

Right as Santana finishes her sentence Rachel Berry struts up and sits on Finn's lap, shooting a smoldering glance in the Latina's direction. "Don't worry, Lopez. Finn here has no problem keeping me in control," she all but purrs out.

Santana just looks away thinking, Oh fuck this dream is going to fuck up my day more then I thought.

AN – Whenever I get real weirded out by something I like to say "you're making me weird." instead of what regularly speaking people say.