First Time
[Scene starts with everyone quietly working
Michael: Attention… ATTENTION! [He over emphasizes the last syllable until everyone is looking at him; Jim looks slightly concerned
Michael: I've been researching into my past –
Dwight: Like ancestor related? [He asks it so intently that the entire office looks at him in alarm and curiosity
Dwight (in interview): I just happen to know about my ancestry, it was handed down in a book that was made from beet leaves and beet ink. My great great grandfather started it and it has been continued since. [He holds up a small picture of a very old man on a bed with a dirty brown 'book'.
Michael (smile fading): No not like that [he snaps. I have found my diary that has the precise date that I lost my pure.
Toby (entering from the back of the office): Don't you mean 'purity', Michael? [He says it nicely, so that it wouldn't have offended anyone.
Michael: Ah, yes, but who invited you here? Why are you eavesdropping on my private conversation with my friends? [Toby looks upset.
Jim: But Michael, you were saying an announcement about it. [There were several choruses of agreement.
Michael: Yeah, but that's not the point. Since I have found out of my first time, I want to know yours! [The office is silent; they are unsure if this is against any rules; Michael is grinning.
Phyllis: Isn't that against the rules?
Phyllis: I don't really think that telling Michael the first time I had intercourse is a good idea…Like letting a sheep in a lion's den.
Angela: I refuse to speak of my private life. It is for me to know and everyone else to never find out.
Kevin: I wish I could be a fly on the wall in all of those conversations. [He smiles slowly. I think Pam and Jim do it when we all aren't looking. [Scene of Jim and Pam talking at her desk with Kevin watching intently.