Spike vs. Xander
By: skyz
A/N: This is just something that came to mind as I was thinking. I know..it's stupid, but I found it amusing. I just couldn't get it out of my mind so I typed it up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander stared at his nemesis as he loosened up. He jogged in place and rolled his shoulders.
"How you doing Xander?" Willow's voice drew his attention from the peroxide blond across the room.
"I'm good," he muttered.
"You sure? Maybe you wanna back out?" Willow asked in concern as she too glanced at the vampire a frown of worry marring her forehead.
"Never," Xander spat.
Meanwhile on the other side of the room...
"You ready?" Buffy asked Spike as she gently massaged his shoulders.
"Yep."
"This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever se---"
"Shut up Dawn," Buffy snapped glaring at her sister. "They need to do this!"
Dawn rolled her eyes and grumbling beneath her breath strode away.
"Nervous pet?" he asked as he glanced up at her, a small smile playing around his mouth.
"God yes! This is----this is big Spike! I don't want either of you to get hurt! I---"
"We won't I swear I won't hurt him. Much."
Across the Room....
"What do you think she's saying to him?" Xander demanded as he watched Buffy and Spike talk.
"I don't know Xander. I have to ask is this really the way you want to handle this?" Willow asked as she glanced up at him.
"You think I should be afraid of Dead boy jr?! Look at my hands Wills! Look. Steady as rocks," Xander boasted as he raised his hands to Willow's face.
She grimaced slightly and nodded.
"Okay Xan. Good luck," she gave him a big hug before she released him. "Go get him!"
"I don't think you should do this," Buffy admitted as she chewed her lip.
"What?! You don't want me to do this? I thought this was what you wanted pet?"
"It was. But this is taking it to extremes Spike! I didn't want it to turn out like this."
"You're the one who left it up to the whelp and there is no way I'll forfeit to Harris! Never! Now move woman, I'm gonna kick his ass!"
Buffy was shoved aside as Spike stormed to the middle of the room and glared at Xander.
"Come on then," he growled.
Xander faced him and managed to twist his face into some semblance of a fierce mask of determination as he flopped down on the couch.
"You're goin' down Captain Peroxide," Xander snarled sitting forward.
"We'll see about that whelp," was all Spike said as he steeled himself.
"Okay," Willow said as she stood at the foot of the coffee table, hands on hips her resolve face firmly in place.
All eyes turned to her.
"Pick up your cans," she ordered.
Xander grabbed his right up, but Spike hesitated as he picked it up then put it down.
"Spike are you having second thoughts?" Willow asked.
"No! He's gonna do it," Buffy spoke up before he could.
Spike nodded and clenching his jaw picked up the can.
"You guys---do you realize how stupid this is?! I mean am I the only sane person-"
"Dawn." Everyone cried out in irritation. Glares all around for the teenager.
She crossed her arms and took a spot to the side of Spike a look of disgust on her face.
"On three then. One...Two..Three," Willow yelled.
Xander tore the cap off the can of cheese and immediately began devouring it.
Spike fumbled with his own can, before he got the cap off and hesitantly sprayed some into his mouth. His face scrunched up and he gagged.
"C'mon Spike," Buffy cheered him on. "You can do it!"
"Oh..good job Xander. One can down, two to go," Willow yelled jumping up and down in delight that her best friend was winning.
Spike choked the rest of his can down a pinched look on his face and tore into the second can. His eyes met Xander's briefly and he growled.
His growl caused him to choke and he gagged as he dropped his can and- --
Dawn's squeal came as he let the contents in his mouth fly.
Willow started, dropped, and rolled to get out of the way.
Buffy ducked safely behind the couch.
Dawn was too slow as she dived for cover.
"Oh my god, my clothes! Spike!!! How could you?!" she whined as she landed on the floor with little grace and a hell of a lot of indignation.
Xander jumped to his feet, the snoopy dance coming forth as he raised his arms above his head.
"I win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WIN. YOU LOSE SPIKE! TO THE VICTOR GO THE--- you know what I mean. I win. I win. I win," he gloated globs of cheese escaping as he danced around mouth open in a grin.
"Bloody hell," Spike gasped as he collapsed to the floor.
Buffy hurried to him.
Willow embraced Xander and they did the snoopy dance together.
"Are you okay Spike?" Buffy asked as she eyed him.
"How do you people eat that crap?" he grumbled as he wiped his mouth.
Buffy murmured consolingly to him as he rose to his feet.
Spike's eyes narrowed as they rested on Xander.
"I beat you," Xander said as he met Spike head on.
"Next time Harris," Spike growled.
"Next time me and you Spike," Dawn yelled marching up to him and poking him in the chest.
He stumbled back in alarm.
"Nibblet..." he began.
"No..you and me. You ruined my favorite outfit Spike that calls for payback-"
"Now c'mon Dawn no need for violence," Willow began.
"Fine then," Spike snapped. "But you remember this Harris...I'll get you for this. I'll get you and your bloody can of cheese!"
Spike stormed out and was trailed by an angry Dawn and a torn Buffy.
"Bye guys," she called as she hurried out.
"We'll see Spike," Xander yelled after him. "We'll see!"
By: skyz
A/N: This is just something that came to mind as I was thinking. I know..it's stupid, but I found it amusing. I just couldn't get it out of my mind so I typed it up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Xander stared at his nemesis as he loosened up. He jogged in place and rolled his shoulders.
"How you doing Xander?" Willow's voice drew his attention from the peroxide blond across the room.
"I'm good," he muttered.
"You sure? Maybe you wanna back out?" Willow asked in concern as she too glanced at the vampire a frown of worry marring her forehead.
"Never," Xander spat.
Meanwhile on the other side of the room...
"You ready?" Buffy asked Spike as she gently massaged his shoulders.
"Yep."
"This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever se---"
"Shut up Dawn," Buffy snapped glaring at her sister. "They need to do this!"
Dawn rolled her eyes and grumbling beneath her breath strode away.
"Nervous pet?" he asked as he glanced up at her, a small smile playing around his mouth.
"God yes! This is----this is big Spike! I don't want either of you to get hurt! I---"
"We won't I swear I won't hurt him. Much."
Across the Room....
"What do you think she's saying to him?" Xander demanded as he watched Buffy and Spike talk.
"I don't know Xander. I have to ask is this really the way you want to handle this?" Willow asked as she glanced up at him.
"You think I should be afraid of Dead boy jr?! Look at my hands Wills! Look. Steady as rocks," Xander boasted as he raised his hands to Willow's face.
She grimaced slightly and nodded.
"Okay Xan. Good luck," she gave him a big hug before she released him. "Go get him!"
"I don't think you should do this," Buffy admitted as she chewed her lip.
"What?! You don't want me to do this? I thought this was what you wanted pet?"
"It was. But this is taking it to extremes Spike! I didn't want it to turn out like this."
"You're the one who left it up to the whelp and there is no way I'll forfeit to Harris! Never! Now move woman, I'm gonna kick his ass!"
Buffy was shoved aside as Spike stormed to the middle of the room and glared at Xander.
"Come on then," he growled.
Xander faced him and managed to twist his face into some semblance of a fierce mask of determination as he flopped down on the couch.
"You're goin' down Captain Peroxide," Xander snarled sitting forward.
"We'll see about that whelp," was all Spike said as he steeled himself.
"Okay," Willow said as she stood at the foot of the coffee table, hands on hips her resolve face firmly in place.
All eyes turned to her.
"Pick up your cans," she ordered.
Xander grabbed his right up, but Spike hesitated as he picked it up then put it down.
"Spike are you having second thoughts?" Willow asked.
"No! He's gonna do it," Buffy spoke up before he could.
Spike nodded and clenching his jaw picked up the can.
"You guys---do you realize how stupid this is?! I mean am I the only sane person-"
"Dawn." Everyone cried out in irritation. Glares all around for the teenager.
She crossed her arms and took a spot to the side of Spike a look of disgust on her face.
"On three then. One...Two..Three," Willow yelled.
Xander tore the cap off the can of cheese and immediately began devouring it.
Spike fumbled with his own can, before he got the cap off and hesitantly sprayed some into his mouth. His face scrunched up and he gagged.
"C'mon Spike," Buffy cheered him on. "You can do it!"
"Oh..good job Xander. One can down, two to go," Willow yelled jumping up and down in delight that her best friend was winning.
Spike choked the rest of his can down a pinched look on his face and tore into the second can. His eyes met Xander's briefly and he growled.
His growl caused him to choke and he gagged as he dropped his can and- --
Dawn's squeal came as he let the contents in his mouth fly.
Willow started, dropped, and rolled to get out of the way.
Buffy ducked safely behind the couch.
Dawn was too slow as she dived for cover.
"Oh my god, my clothes! Spike!!! How could you?!" she whined as she landed on the floor with little grace and a hell of a lot of indignation.
Xander jumped to his feet, the snoopy dance coming forth as he raised his arms above his head.
"I win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WIN. YOU LOSE SPIKE! TO THE VICTOR GO THE--- you know what I mean. I win. I win. I win," he gloated globs of cheese escaping as he danced around mouth open in a grin.
"Bloody hell," Spike gasped as he collapsed to the floor.
Buffy hurried to him.
Willow embraced Xander and they did the snoopy dance together.
"Are you okay Spike?" Buffy asked as she eyed him.
"How do you people eat that crap?" he grumbled as he wiped his mouth.
Buffy murmured consolingly to him as he rose to his feet.
Spike's eyes narrowed as they rested on Xander.
"I beat you," Xander said as he met Spike head on.
"Next time Harris," Spike growled.
"Next time me and you Spike," Dawn yelled marching up to him and poking him in the chest.
He stumbled back in alarm.
"Nibblet..." he began.
"No..you and me. You ruined my favorite outfit Spike that calls for payback-"
"Now c'mon Dawn no need for violence," Willow began.
"Fine then," Spike snapped. "But you remember this Harris...I'll get you for this. I'll get you and your bloody can of cheese!"
Spike stormed out and was trailed by an angry Dawn and a torn Buffy.
"Bye guys," she called as she hurried out.
"We'll see Spike," Xander yelled after him. "We'll see!"