"That's a nice sundress." Alfie complimented as I walked through into his bedroom, "Thatns it's from Topshop" I replied as flopped onto his white duvet. His bedroom was so minimalism it resembled an IKEA demo. At times it felt like a waiting room and that's why we always had filmed videos at my parents house (before I moved too Brighton) due too Alfie's room making me anxious after a while. it wasn't homely and it didn't give off any warmth. There were no candles, colour or comfy pillows. Of course I am not so shallow too be upset over the style of someones flat. The deep rooted issue was Alfie's lack of commitment too our relationship.
I thought moving too Brighton into a flat that could fit two of us would give him a hint of my dreams that concerned both of us. Obviously not. "Are we too meet Louise?" I asked as he self consciously messed around with his hair. Before he could reach for his camera I dragged him out into the British sunshine. His camera had become a part of him recently and I wanted a private day out that didn't involve a camera; that was ruined by Louise as I could see her in the distance filming Darcy. As I approached I got a tight and friendly hug followed by a squeal of, "doesn't darcy look sooooo cute!?" Unsure weather she meant the child's otufit or Darcy herself I nodded.
As we walked along the pier too a fairground so we could treat Darcy too some fairground games and what else that Louise wanted too spoil Darcy with Alfie became increasingly disinterested in me and gave more attention too being involved in Louises Vlog I could feel myself becoming negative as my smile gradually depleated into a solid unimpressed line.
Evening was drawing closer and I relaxed at the thought of getting inside and having a long bath so i could reflect on my life, where my YouTube career was going and weather I should tell Louise my big secret, after all we are chummies after all. However, my thoughts were inturrupted by Louise who had noticed that I hadn't been my bubbly self; well her perception of "myself". "What's wrong chummy? I can see you're not yourself. Are you and Alfie okay?"
I breathed in, "We're fine. I'm just looking forward too a relaxing lush bath." I gave her the best and most convincing smile I could muster and she grabbed my hand and we raced along the beach too catch up with the guys.
As I said my Goodbyes too Louise I reassured her that everything was okay without realizing that it was obvious that it wasn't. Even though Louise and I had not gone too school together we had formed a bond between us that was strong and that was in no danger of being broken. Not yet anyway.
As I lay in my lush filled bath I decided too tell Alfie my secret. I was sure that he would understand as we are soul mates after all.