A/N: This could happen. You never know ;) Reviews are really appreciated. Even flames, if they're entertaining. Enjoy!
Their plan was almost complete.
Band Member #1 (they'd all forgotten their names long ago) grabbed his guitar and smiled evilly.
"It's simple. We kill the Glee Club."
"MWAHAHAHA!" Band Member #2 agreed, stroking his stereotypical white cat and eating some fresh cookies.
"Ok, go get the… killer music!" Band Member #1 cried. Ominous music played out of thin air, "And call the battle cry!" They all grabbed sheet music especially for this moment.
"SINGING, JOY, AND GLEE SUCK!" they cried as they marched to Glee Club. They figured once their plan was complete they could come up with a better battle cry.
"HIT IT!" Rachel yelled, starting to dance. There was dead silence. A few crickets that had gotten in the school somehow may have even chirped.
"Um… what song?" Band Member #3 asked. The whole band looked confused.
"Guys. It's simple. The song… is in your hearts," Rachel answered, placing her hand where her heart was. It seemed legit. The band started playing the mash-up of "Smack That" and "I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie".
"Great job, Rachel! You really outshine everyone and everything, even the sun! Your voice is like an angel crying tears of marshmallows! Band… just shut up, sit in the corner, and wear your Dunce hats," Will told them.
But just then… the band broke into a solo.
"What the- NO! Stop! This song has no singing in it!" Will screamed, "I'M MELTING!" Suddenly, Tina got out of her seat and walked over to the band.
"I've been silent for too long!" Tina cried. She grabbed a violin and somehow knew how to play it. An elaborate set from a silent movie inexplicably appeared. Brad silently agreed to join. He played the piano extra loud, as he knew every song ever made. Matt even joined in and played the flute.
"Matt?! I thought you transferred!" Mike gasped. Matt shook his head.
"No, you just didn't notice me in the back of the choir room. I sleep here because I have no parents," Matt explained.
"Aw, dude, I'm sorry!" Mike consoled Matt. Matt shot him a puzzled look.
"No, I mean, I just never had parents. I just kind of... started to exist," he shrugged. Tina looked over.
"No way, me too!"
Suddenly, Band Member #1 got impatient.
"Oh my god, this death is going too slowly!" he yelled. He grabbed a music stand and the others followed his lead.
They killed them by bashing in their heads with music stands. Except for Mr. Schue; they choked him with a sweater vest.
Any suggestions for a better battle cry for the band?