On September 22, 2011, a college student sat in her Modern East Asia class. Half listening to her teacher and half doodling Hetalia characters in adorable Halloween costumes, her Chinese professor's voice cut through the air.

"Japanese were more receptive to West than China."

The student looked down at her doodle-notes. She found her pen tracing over a doodle of Germany. It seemed to panic.

"What are you doing?" the doodle seemed to ask.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I can't stop myself."

"Yes, Cro, you can! It's called self-control!"

"I'm an American fangirl- how much self-control do you think I have?"

The pen traced Germany's neck and Germany panicked.

"Cro, no. Pay attention, Professor Xiong is talking about Commodore Perry! He didn't mean me!"

"I know," she whispered apologetically. "I'm sorry. But it's done, West. I can't undo this."

As Germany's naked torso came into being, he began to plead.

"Just stop. Please. You've made your point and now you'll always remember that the Japanese were more receptive to Western influence than China was. You can pay more attention now. Look! I think he's talking about the Tokugawa shogunate!"

"Don't be silly, West. I haven't drawn Japan yet. How am I going to remember?"

Japan's face came into being. "Cro-san, what's going on?"

"I'm sorry, Japan. I don't want to do this, I promise."

"Germany-san, what is she doing?"

"Leave Japan alone, Crocious! Just stop!"

The student tried to fight it, but she couldn't. Japan's torso came to be.

"Cro-san, why am I on the floor? What is going on?"

"Germany, should Japan be wearing lingerie or a casual kimono? Or nothing."

Japan blushed darkly and Germany looked at the student in horror.

"For God's sake, woman, have you no shame?"

"I already told you, I'm an American fangirl. Oh God, Professor Xiong just said sugar-daddy."

"Cro!"

"Cro-san?"

"I'm sorry, have you ever heard a Chinese accent say 'sugar daddy?' It's really funny!"

One of Germany's hands gripped Japan's kimono at the back and Japan's eyes widened.

"G-Germany-san?"

"I'm sorry, Japan, I'm trying not to."

Japan's arms spread out in front of him. "I-I don't want to d-do this anymore, Cro-san!"

"Crocious! Stop! Look, class is over!"

The student looked at the clock. "Oh! Wow, class went fast today, huh?"

As the rest of the students packed their bags, the student gently folded her page of doodle-notes and slipped it into the recycling bin. She went to lunch feeling filthy to her very core.

Germany and Japan didn't feel much, being both poorly drawn and made of ink. But if ink could feel, one can only assume that they would be relieved.