Hathor Rising
Author's note: Hi! Just in case you're wondering, this is supposed to be a parody. I created Phobia and Hathor, though there are so many Hathors out there that it's hardly original. Yes, Hathor is supposed to be super-powerful, and I hope all you readers out there understand what I'm trying to say.
***
It was one of those lazy, cold days where the pounding rain kept everyone inside. Besides boredom, anger was gnawing at them, especially between Rogue and Kurt, who had just strapped plastic wrap around the toilet seat before Marie had used the bathroom.
"Ohhh, Kurt, Ah'm gonna kill ya," she screamed at the top of her lungs, lunging at the furred mutant. He yelped and tried to hop over the couch, but he ended up skidding and falling over.
"Now Ah got ya!"
"Oh, no, please, it vas just a joke. I am sorry."
The contrite look on his face made her stop in her tracks, and she seriously considered letting him go. Until he whipped out some sort of plastic flower, squirting her in the eye.
"Arghhh! Now ya die, elf boy!"
Kurt shrieked, realizing that it was over. Then the doorbell rang, distracting Marie. When she had turned away, he disappeared in a puff of thick smoke. Growling and trying to wipe the water from her flushed face, she opened the door.
Standing at the door was a golden-haired girl, with blue eyes and a slender body. She flashed Marie a grin as she stepped forward, extending her hand.
"Hi. I'm here to see Professor Xavier," the stranger chirped.
"Uh, do Ah know you?"
"No, but it is such a pleasure to meet you. I'm Hathor," she said sweetly.
"Uh, whatever. Come in, Ah guess."
"My, my. You have such a lovely house," Hathor told her, smiling broadly. Rogue looked at her through the corner of her eye.
"Thank you, Ah think."
"Hey," Kurt said, appearing on a chair, "Vho's this?"
"My name is Hathor," she answered cheerfully, and Rogue rolled her eyes.
"Pretty name," he commented, practically drooling over the shapely girl.
"Let's go," Marie persisted, bringing her to the professor's office. He was behind his desk, shifting through a stack of papers.
"Ah, you must be Hathor. It's a pleasure to meet you," he greeted her.
She giggled.
"Welcome. What is your powers again."
"Well, I'm super strong, I can fly, I can shoot lightning bolts from my eyes, shape-shift, control fire, and bend matter with my mind."
He looked surprised.
"That's quite powerful, my dear."
"But I'm vulnerable to emus on Tuesdays of every leap year."
Rogue rolled her eyes again, while Kurt smiled at Hathor, lovesick.
"We're glad to have you on the team."
***
"Oh my. This is a beautiful room," Hathor commented, swinging her bag in front of her. The dorm room was actually sparsely furnished, though the golden-haired mutant didn't seem to care.
"This will be wonderful," she said happily, throwing her flowered bag aside.
"You wanna go get something to eat?" Marie asked, looking at her watch.
"Would I? Of course! I had to live out in the wilderness with only a knife for four years."
"Tha's great," she answered sarcastically.
"Let's go," Hathor said, dragging her to the lunchroom. When they got there, Rogue ordered some chicken nuggets while the other girl got a salad, meticulously cutting it up into small bites.
As they were eating, the doors to the cafeteria were pushed open, revealing Lance and Pietro, the two scum bags. Quicksilver raised one white eyebrow when he saw the girls.
"Hello there, ladies," he said, coming up to their table.
"Get away from us," Marie growled.
Hathor sensed her discomfort and narrowed her eyes as Lance strolled next to his friend.
"Leave us alone," she agreed.
"Lookey here. A new babe," Avalanche hissed.
"I'm warning you-,"
"What are you gonna do?" Pietro teased, before Hathor picked him up and casually throw him out the window, glass going everywhere.
Lance, afraid of the all powerful being, ran.
***
"Oh, I look so nice, don't I?" Hathor asked, trying on her new suit.
"It looks exactly like mine," Rogue protested.
"Pish posh. It's not the same color."
Marie sighed.
"Yo, who's that?" Evan questioned, sticking his face in the doorway. There was admiration in his eyes.
Hathor grinned while he studied her.
"Hey!" Kurt yelled from the hallway," she is mine!"
"No way man," he declared, white spikes growing from his skin.
"Boys, boys," Hathor protested, watching the two glare at each other like rival dogs, "there's enough of me to go around."
Marie gagged.
She smiled and walked out, hands on her ample hips. Rogue did not follow; instead, she sat down on her bed, loathing Hathor. What kind of name was Hathor anyway?
***
"Waahhh, she beat me up," Pietro sobbed, and Mystique thought hard.
"We must stop this new threat," she announced, but Aileen Mason spoke up.
"No! She's too powerful and mighty to be stopped by such insignificant creatures as ourselves."
"Hmmm," Darkhome said, thinking
***
"..and my dad was a mutant named Superpowerfulguy, and my mom was the mother of the year for ten years in a row, and I lived in a house with a dog and a cat. One day, the house caught on fire and Iran into the woods, where I was taught by an ancient shaman named Bob. It wasn't until I returned that I saw that I was vulnerable to ewus, especially big ones," Hathor said.
"What's an ewu?" Kitty thought aloud, but everyone was too intent on Hathor's perfect stories.
"My real name's not Hathor. It's Mary," she explained.
"That's a pretty name," Scott replied, smiling at her dreamily.
Rogue shoved her gloved finger down her throat.
After dinner, Hathor went outside for a walk, so that she could stay in shape, even though she was already a super model.
Mary insisted on Marie coming, and she did, since Hathor was already Xavier's pet. It was dark outside, the sky covered with a blanket of deep black. Crickets sang in the bushes, and a bird flew and landed on Mary's dainty shoulder.
Hathor was so intent on petting the wild creatures that came up to see her that she didn't see the living shadows in the trees. Out jumped Phobia, Toad, and Fred, who smashed a bench underneath him.
"It's time to pay," Aileen sneered, and then Hathor bent over, plagued with her deepest fears.
"Oh no. I'm not the most special person in the world anymore," Mary wailed. Marie punched Phobia in her ugly pale face, sending her sprawling to the ground. She tried to reach out for Hathor, who had gotten over her trance.
"Don't touch me, you imperfect little thing," she snapped, slapping Rogue's hand.
Secretly, unknown to the x-men, Logan had gone out and bought an emu so that he could make a bean animal out of it, which he was, much to his shame, obsessed with.
The huge bird saw Hathor and was strangely attracted to her.
"Noooo!" Mary screamed.
Rogue had considered helping the other mutant, but that last remark pissed her off. As the Brotherhood watched, astounded, she snatched up a large shovel and hit Mary with it.
THONK!
THONK!
After she had beaten Hathor senseless, Marie and the rest of the Brotherhood went to a nude beach to celebrate it.
Moral:
Rolling stones gather no moss.
Cheese is best eaten when fresh.
Ants in France wear no pants.