Runner Up for "Scene on the beach" contest.
A/N: Not a single thing Twilight related belongs to me. Neither their pain nor happiness.
Enjoy!
Black pearls
The sun it's burning and warming my skin.
But I don't feel it.
I'm empty, hallow and without a will to live another second. I'm nothing. I lost everything I had precious in this world. My love. Gone forever.
I'm lost and alone.
I'm nothing.
A walking dead. I don't even have a heart. Like that would've helped!
What good is a heart when you don't have anyone to love with it? Or what could I do with it when my love is no longer here?
It's better I don't have a heart.
But it still hurts. Maybe more than if I had a heart. I have my memories. I can't erase them. They will always hunt me in the most horrible way and in the most pleasurable way. Her face will hunt me forever.
Literally.
Her deep brown eyes I will never get to look into. Her soft chocolate brown hair which I will never feel it's texture. Her body, worm and breakable, which will never worm my cold body. And last but not least, her perfume. I will never smell her sweet, floral blood, calling my name, beckoning me to her.
All of her will only be in my mind. She will forever be there, but that's it. Only in my mind and never I front of my eyes, feeling and holding her.
Why didn't I listen to her? Why was I trying to force her to be human? What good did that broth me? Non!
Yeah she got to be human and live for a few more months after I left!
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"Why God did you had to take her away from me?" my voice broke the silence. If I could shed a tear, I would be crying out in agonizing pain at this moment. My stone heart was shattered into pieces and I felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside out each second of my existence.
Nobody can answer me.
I'm alone.
I will remain alone for who knows how many years from now.
How many have passed? A hundred? A hundred and fifty?
I lost count a long time ago. What's the point to even count anymore? It won't bring her back. Nothing and nobody can do that.
"Edward you have to come home!" my sister Alice was begging me for over a half an hour ago. Or was it ten minutes?
"I don't have anything to come home for, Alice." I whispered. I do miss them but why should they see me like this? My suffering it's enough for everyone. I'm not the man –let's leave it at that- which I use to be. I'm not whole any more. A very big part of me is missing and I won't have it back again.
They don't deserve this. They didn't kill her. They welcomed her in our life with opened arms. But no! I had to force her to be human!
"Edward are you still there?" Alice's screams broth me back from la-la land.
I'm pathetic!
"Yeah, sorry!"
"Please brother, come home!" she pleaded and it almost broke my dead heart.
"Alice you don't need to see me like this." I tried to explain.
"I know that you're hurting Edward but we miss you and we want you home with us! Even Rosalie misses you, she doesn't have anyone to pick on" she said in a soft voice and I almost smiled. Almost. "And I don't even want to talk about Emmett! He's about to fly there and drag your limp body back home!" now I smiled a little, just by picturing his face. "Jasper and me are dyeing to see you again and don't forget about mom and dad." The way she said mom and dad made my knees buckle under me and I hit the floor.
"Alice!" I pleaded breaking into dry sobs "I can't!" my throat constricting.
"Edward we love you and we want you home." She added and her own sobs emerged through the speaker.
"I love you too!" I whispered and crushed the phone in my hand reducing it to dust.
The sun was setting. Another day passed.
A new day will come.
And that will pass to.
There's no end for me.
I considered ending my life but each time Alice saw it.
Point blank.
I have to get through my existence alone.
That's my sentence.
And I had the perfect place for it. Isle Esme. A small secluded island, pretty far away from main land. Perfect for my misery, despair and cries.
I can't even hear my voice any more.
It's night again. How much time has passed?
I don't know and I don't care.
She's not here anymore.
There was a time when I counted the minutes till night will come so I can be with her again. To hold her in my arms. To hear her heart beat. To hear her breath. Alive in my arms.
She's not here anymore. The day and night don't count any more. There's nothing any more.
I'm empty and alone.
It's night again.
Worm and clear and the moon is shining like the sun. The ocean is calm.
It's too quiet. Like the quiet after a storm.
But the sky it's clear without any trace of a cloud.
A soft breeze it's blowing from the ocean toward me, caressing my cold skin. I don't deserve it.
I sit on the beach, my knees tucked to my chest and my head between them, my arms hugging them. Unmoving and breathing once every few minutes. A statue carved from rock.
I breathe again.
Something is off about it.
It's sweet and worm. Like sunshine and flowers. I lift my head and gaze as far as my eyes could see into the calm ocean. Nothing's change, except from the smell.
It's smells like a vampire. But not my family.
I keep looking, now getting up to see more of the horizon. It's still coming in a straight line, directly at me.
I see nothing and the moon has moved.
I stay still as a rock not wanting to miss anything.
The sun it's rising and with the new light comes nothing new. But the smell it's stronger. More potent. I can smell the venom. Something it's very familiar about it.
Just when I was losing hope in seeing anything, a ray of light, like something sparkling in the sun, was floating, coming slowly, pushed by the waves toward the shore.
Maybe it's just a bottle or something.
But that smell!
I stood still, keeping my eyes on the incoming object.
The sun was high in the sky and the object was stolen by the waves before I can make out what it was.
What I heard next, muffled by the water, confirmed my speculations. I took a few steps into the water and stopped when the water reached my waist line. The body resurfaced and my dead heart came back to life second after it sunken deeper.
Without thinking I grabbed the body from the shoulders in attempt to drag it to shore. What happened when my hands made contact with the body shocked my whole being, my feet gave up from under me and my heart actually beat once.
I sunk into the water, unable to move or breath or even open my eyes. The body passed above me, pushed by the waves but I couldn't find it in me to open my eyes and see the face of the body. The body growled just as it passed and that broth me back to life. As alive as I can be. Once I resurfaced the body was already on the beach, face down, a cape of black wet hair covering half of her body, leaving for my eyes only a pair of long, pale white, gorgeous legs, barely covered by a pair of gray shorts. But on those legs were deep carved wounds, some with a few shark teeth in them. Her arms were tucked under her, leaving nothing else exposed for my eyes.
I took my steps slowly and deliberant toward her. With every step I took her growling increased. But they were weak and forced, like a warning for me not to get closer. My legs wouldn't listen to those growls.
I was out of the water and towering over her, casting a shadow and her skin wasn't sparkling anymore. She kept growling but I stopped listening a while ago.
I was scared to touch her and see what other wounds she may have or how badly they were. She was so scared and weak. And I kept thinking that if I touch her I could break her. But what could I do? I can't leave her here on the beach.
Who could do such a thing to her? And my guess will be here that she was already weak that a shark could pierce her skin.
Then I tried to do something that I didn't do in a long time. Listen to her thoughts.
Nothing! Not even a glimpse, a word, an image, nothing! Like I was alone.
Another day I stood looking at her and trying to decipher her mind only to come empty handed every time. I refuse to give up and think that this girl may be my Bella, the only being I couldn't read it's mind. The only exception to my gift.
I don't want to build up hope that she is Bella and soon discover that she's not the girl I love. I won't do that!
I can't live through that!
But what can I do? I can't read her mind, every time I try to reach my hand toward her, she starts to hiss and growl, her body shakes like she's electrocuted.
I guess it wasn't a smart thing to turn my phone to dust, is it now? I could've use some help right about now! Maybe Alice will see me. Let's hope that she does!
But what can I do? I can't just leave her here!
I looked at her again, and it seams that with each passing minute she got even weaker.
"Shhh, it's going to be okay! I won't hurt you! I'm going to help you!" I found my voice and tried to reassure her about my intentions. She kept growling at me, but her shaking eased up a little and I got the courage to touch her. The same electric current run up my arm and her growling increased.
I took a deep breath and gathered all the courage in me, still touching her shoulder, to turn her, face up so I can lift her and carry her in the house.
In a swift movement I turned her face up, and my shock was not small. The first thing that couth my eyes was her abdomen. A big chunk of skin was missing exposing her white muscles. She didn't have a shirt on, and her hands were covering her breasts. Her hands were covered by the same wounds as her legs, some even deeper. Her hair was covering most of her face, and the little patches of skin I could see were ripped opened.
What could have happened to this girl that got her like this? Was she in a fight of some sorts? What is happening in the world? Is there a war? I was so out of data that I didn't even know what year was it, or what was happening in the world.
How did she end up carried by the waves?
Well asking myself these questions won't bring me any answers!
Slowly I lifted my arm to brush her hair off of her face. My fingers moved slowly over her face, removing the hair exposing the one face I didn't expect to see. A heart shape face, with big, full lips –the lower one a little bigger and out of balance that the top one- the color of a rosy pink, a small nose, high chicks, and big eyes rimed with black lashes.
"Bella." I found myself say and the growling increased once again. This can't be! She's not Bella! It can't be! She died a long time ago. A hundred and something years ago. Lost count. Her death was a little suspicious, but I saw her grave. It can't be her!
My head was spinning, my heart was literally beating again with such intensity, that is was pounding on my rib cage, making it impossible to breath.
Or that's what I thought!
Good thing I was already sitting down, if not I would have collapsed!
She looked so much like her; even her height and forms were the same as I remembered. And my mind doesn't forget any detail!
The girl in front of me looked just like Bella. Only one more detain I wanted to see, and I know that now once a vampire that detail would be lost. But I still wanted to see her eyes. Which I don't think I will have much luck with, in her state of health.
Slowly, without thinking it, my hands moved under her body and lifted her up. She hissed once and growled from deep inside her. I didn't bulge out. I had a destination.
I walked at a human pace with her in my arms, her body stiff, still growling and covering herself with her hands.
Not that I wanted to see anything. I'm just saying.
Once at the house I kicked opened the door and at the same pace walked up the stairs to one of the bedroom. I put her down on the big bed and her body relaxed along with her growling.
She was in the same position, while I tried to think of something to help her with.
"Who did this to you?" I asked more to myself and a menacing growl emerged from her chest. I stopped asking questions out loud.
I kneeled down near the bed, at her feet, looking them over. I spotted four shark teeth in them, the wound around them unable to heal. Matter of fact, none of the wounds has healed till now. And being a vampire implies that wounds should heal pretty fast. But she is too weak and maybe that's why she can't heal.
Something Jasper told me –or rather read his mind about it- gave me an idea and hope that she will heal and I will get to find out what happened to her and who she really was.
I got to work on picking out the shark teethes first. One by one I got them out, receiving each time a growl from her. But after I was finished with her legs and reached for the teethes in her arms, her growling slowed and by the time I was finished her growling stopped all together.
Slowly she was gaining trust in me, realizing that I was helping her. But what was to come, I'm sure that trust will be gone.
"I will help you heal." I stated "this will probably hurt a little to. I haven't done this before but my brother told me about it." I finished and proceed in taking off my t-shirt.
"After this I should probably feed you. Don't know how I will do that but I'll think of something." I continued speaking, seeing how my voice calmed her a little.
"Please don't be afraid of me, cause I'm not going to hurt you!" I reassured her "but this will sting a little and also the ripping sound you will hear it just my skin, not yours! Okay?" but I didn't receive an answer. Tossing my t-shirt on a chair I continued with my tusk in mind.
With a little force, my nails went through my skin and in a fast movement ripped a piece of my own skin, the size of her biggest wound on her abdomen. The noise from my ripping skin, broth another round of growling, hissing and her body convulsing in a very unnatural way. Even for a vampire.
"Shhh it's just my own skin! It's not yours! I'm trying to help you! Please understand that!" I pleaded and my heart was ripping from my chest with each growl. What did this girl had to go through?
My own wound was already healed, leaving me with a big piece of skin in my hands that was still dripping with my venom.
"Please understand that I'm just helping you! I don't have any intentions in hurting you!" I tried one more time to convince her and it worked a little. "This will sting a little but soon you'll be better." I informed her and with much care I applied my skin on her abdomen wound. She hissed so loud, it echoed though the house. But it was working. It worked just like a skin transplant but much faster. My skin was already knitting with her skin and my venom worked as a disinfectant, cleaning the wound. In less than a minute the only thing left from the wound was a little scar around it, where my skin knitted with hers. I continued the same process with her other wounds, covering them up with my own skin. I must admit it hurts like shit but I locked my jaw and took it like a man.
While working healing her wounds a part of my mind kept track of her health state, a part marveling her beauty and another part asking all kinds of questions but really wanted to ask them out loud. She kept quiet, her growling and hissing reduced to a minimum, only raising from her chest when my skin made contact with her wounds.
My mind was going a hundred miles per hour with the possibility that this girl in front of me was Bella. My Bella.
What if she never died and somehow she became a vampire? And she had to fake her death. Nah that couldn't be! She would have come to find me or my family, right?
And so on the questions raised and fall in my mind, with all the possibilities known to me. And all it took about twenty minutes.
Her body looked healthier, no more wounds showing, just a few scars where my skin knitted with hers. Just like surgery. But my mind was nowhere near a healthy state. I had a hell of a lot questions running around plus now I had to find a way to feed her.
How the fuck am I suppose to do that? I don't even know if she feeds from humans or animals. She won't even talk to me or even nod for Christ sake!
My hands went instantly into my hair, pulling hard at the ends.
Thank god I'm no human anymore! I would've been bold a long time ago!
I started to pace the bedroom, my hands pulling my hair out then going over my face, almost pilling my skin off.
"You have to give me something to work with here." I pleaded "Do you feed from humans or animals?" I asked a little shy. I don't want to go back to all the growling. She nodded. To what exactly I don't have the slightest idea. But it was a good sign. I tried again. "Do you feed on humans?" I asked just like I was taking to a kid. A little sigh left her lips. My tone annoyed her. "Do you?" I pushed and saw the slightest movement of her head going from left to right.
"Okay so that means you feed on animals?" I asked not really sure I even needed, but still did it. She nodded. Thank god! I breathe a sigh of relief. Didn't quit wanted to kill a human!
This should be easy! I told myself but the curiosity of knowing more about her and making her talk got the best of me and postponed the hunting.
"Can you tell me your name?" I asked in a whisper. A few minutes later, still nothing.
"Who did this to you?" I pushed my luck. A piercing growl left between her lips and she curled in a tight fetus position, releasing her breasts and hugging her legs.
Well that's the only answer I can get! For now.
I waited a few minutes for her to calm down so I can talk to her again. Or for her to listen to my monologue.
"I need to go hunt for you." I stated "don't know exactly how I will do that but I'll think of something. "I finished and went to pacing the room again. My mind wandering if I should kill an animal and bring it here or finding something to put the blood in. Either way it's going to be a hell of a task.
"Okay I will go hunting on the coast of Brazil. You stay put" not like she could go anywhere "and I'll be back sooner than you think." I tried to smile a little, which seamed kind of stupid. Not like she opened her eyes since I found her!
I left the room without a word and flew down the stairs and into the kitchen with the quest of finding something to store the blood of an animal. After some time of going through the entire kitchen and coming out empty I spotted the only thing left unsearched. A medical cabinet. Really didn't see the need on having one in a house full of vampires. Some times.
Anyway, this may be my only chance on finding anything to work with. In les then a second I opened the cabinet and pulled out all its containments on the table beneath it. All kind of medical stuffs were spread out before my eyes. After a quick scan, my eyes landed on the perfect container to fill with blood. A plastic bag use to do just what I needed. Store blood. I found another two in all the mess I made and put them in my jacket pocket.
I've been here in the jungle a million times and some but its wilderness always seamed like it was the first time I laid eyes on. But I wasn't here for sightseeing. The game here was plenty and in every size. And I wanted something good for her.
I got to find out her name and stop calling her "her"!
Not too far from the shore line, the wind broth a scent I wanted. A panther.
I crouched low, letting my mind go and my senses wild.
The monster in me was out and I was at his mercy. The raw, massive strength was thrilling in my limbs pushing me further and further to meet the owner of the sweet wet scent. My feet moved fast dodging the trees in my way, but never getting off the trail the scent of the predator made. It waved through the thick jungle deeper then I though. After a few minutes of running I saw my pray. Sleeping on a branch was a great big black panther. I lunched fast and stealthy, up in a near tree then jumped right on his back, crushing both of us to the ground. In a blink of an eye, my razor sharp teeth pierced his throat, his hot wet blood coating my neck.
The monster in me wanted the drain the animal dry but my human side –what was left of it- wanted to get back to the girl in my house. With a quick move I replaced my mouth with the plastic bag for the blood, watching it fill. The other two were filed just as fast and to my advantage the animal still had blood in it so I took the opportunity to suck it dry.
I got rid of the dead body and flew back to the shore line with the blood bags tucked tightly in my jacked. I plunged into the water and swam with all the power in me back to the island and the girl that might turn out to be my Bella.
Or not!
Ten minutes later I was out of the water and running into the house. It was quiet, not even her breathing could be heard. And the fact that I couldn't hear her thought was still a little discomforting. If I could hear her mind maybe things will go differently. I could find out who she is, who did all those things to her and how she ended up broth by the ocean just at the island I was at.
Yeah things would have been a whole lot easier if I could just read her thought! But no things had to always be a whole hell of a lot harder for me! Just like with Bella.
A deep sigh left my lips, clearing my thought and pushing the door opened to the bedroom I left her earlier.
She was no longer in the bed instead she was in a corner of the room, a sheet covering her whole body, like that piece of material could shed her from the bad things. My heart broke further. Soon it won't be anything left to brake.
She was hugging her knees tightly with her head between her legs. I took slow steps toward her whispering "It's okay" over and over again. She growled. But it was tired and just with a soft warning.
"It's just me." I continued "I went hunting and I broth you some blood. It will help you heal faster." I murmured. Two steps in front of her I stopped removing a bag from my jacked with just as much care. I didn't want to frighten her in any way.
"Here is the blood for you." I whispered and handed her the first bag. It was out of my hands and empty in a second. I don't think I even saw her move for Christ sake! She was in the same position, still with her head between her legs and the sheet still hugged tightly around her.
"Please say something or open your eyes." I pleaded taking a sit next to her. I saw her body stiffen and for the first time she actually did something that showed me she was alive. As alive as a vampire can be. Her head flew up from her knees and her eyes open, looking me dead in the eyes.
I sucked in a sharp breath, my hear felt like it was in my throat and my dead stomach lunched to my mouth. Looking me deep into my nonexistent soul were a pair of empty black pearls full of emotions that made my upper body sway to my left, knocking me down on the floor. All the wile I was still looking in her eyes, reading them just as easy as it was when Bella was alive. This girl was just as an open book as Bella was.
I steady my self, rearranging my position on the floor still keeping eye contact with her. They seamed familiar and yet not. Her eyes were just as deep and the emotions played in them were easy to read. There was despair, pain, loss, anger, love and more pain all battling to resurface. It was hard to catch them all. There was too much for me to see. And now I was glad that I couldn't read her mind. But it was like she wasn't even there, her stair was blank seaming to look through me.
With a shaky hand –which was a first- I handed her the next bag of blood. This time she took it slowly from my hands, bringing it just as slow to her mouth and drinking it fast. Without a second thought I gave her the last bag. This one she emptied slowly. I could see the blood was doing his job and the few scars on her face were barely visible after a few minutes.
This kept on for days, soon a whole month passed by. Every day I would go hunting for her and every day I would fill up the three bags. She still wouldn't speak with me but at least now she was looking at me and sometime nod at something I ask. When I was in the same room with her, she staid in her spot, never moving more then grabbing the blood from my hands and drinking them. But almost each day when I would come back from hunting, I would find her in a new place. Either on the floor, cowering in one of the corners, or on the bed in the same position. Hugging her feet with her head between them.
But today was different. I came in the room to find that she wasn't there. She was on the little balcony attached to the room, overlooking the ocean, staring at the waves with the same blank expression and in the same position.
I took my place next to her and assumed the same position as her. I kept quiet, not really sure what to tell her. Her eyes and face were shielded from me by her flowing hair.
She truly was beautiful and I was frightened by the fact that I found her attractive and may very easily fall in love with her. But my heart belonged to Bella, and only her.
A small part of my mind was telling me every day that this was my Bella. And in a way I believed it. The resemblance between Bella and this girl were scary, in a way. She looked too much like Bella.
Oh yeah and I still didn't know her name! Very frustrating.
At some point my mouth started working on her own and began to tell her the story of me and Bella. All of it. Not letting a single detail escape.
Not that my mind would've forgot any!
And she seamed to like my story also. I could see it in her eyes and in the way she looked at me.
"So two days after that incident at my house, I told her I was leaving" I replied one day sitting in the same spot on the balcony "but I only did it so she can be safe. So she can have a normal life without a monster near her. I couldn't offer her every human experience as much as I wanted to. And it broke my heart to leave her. It broke my family's heart also. They all loved her." I stopped remembering the expressions of each of my family faces when I told them we needed to leave. Even Rosalie was a little sorry. "And that was the stupidest thing I ever did in all my life. After a few months I heard she died." I whisper, pain shooting to my whole being.
I stayed quiet letting the pain make its round in my body. I deserve it, more then anyone on this planet. I did this with my own hands. I killed her. If I was there then maybe she would be still alive.
"I should've listened to her." I said in a low voice and watch as the girl's body stiffens.
"Is something wrong?" I asked but she just motioned a no.
We stayed like that till night came, just watching the waves crush the shore. It was serene. The birds sang everywhere and the moon was rising up in the sky.
"You want to go for a swim?" I asked after some time. I kind of knew the answer but didn't want to be rude. She shocks her head from left to right.
Yeah!
I jumped from the balcony and broke into a run as soon as my feet touched the ground, shading my clothes on the way. I pierced the waves in my run and plunged in when the water was deep enough.
Swimming near the coral reef was always nice. I stayed under water until sunrise, watching the light pierce the water and the underwater life come to life.
I took my time swimming back to shore. My mind wandered back to the girl in my house, why her eyes stayed the same black pearls after so long and my family and why Alice hasn't come yet. Didn't she see me or the girl that came to me? I'm sure I made some decisions all this time!
I tucked all the questions and doubts in the back of my mind and emerged from the ocean. The sun was warming my skin as I sat there on the beach near the house. My eyes watching the waves form far out in the ocean and braking near my feet.
It's been almost two mouths now and the girl still didn't talk or even move in my presence. Something must be very wrong with her. For all things holy she was a vampire not a human!
My mind wandered back to Bella and my time with her at the mention of the word human. My body once again was taken by the shear pain, the memories of her broth to me.
I deserve them all and then some.
I heard nothing and saw nothing for a great deal of time. I was having a moment with my memories and my pain. I let it took me completely, burying me and leaving me senseless. I rejoiced it. I welcomed it. All of it. From her face, her smell, her warmth, her smile and the eyes that told me all I needed to know to the pain and despair those memories broth me. My body shocked with the pain and the dry sobs. I welcomed it.
"Edward." I heard a whisper in the wind and my head flew in the direction of the voice.
Either she could read my mind, either she was Bella, because I'm sure as fuck never mentioned my name to her.
I saw her before my eyes, standing shy a few feet away from me. I saw her in her eyes. I saw her in the way she held her body.
I saw her. I saw her in the shy smile that played on her lips. I saw her in the soft curves of her body. I saw her in her.
I heard her in her voice.
My Bella was here all along.