The Art of Pas de daux
After treading in the harbour for a minute staring at Sammy's face I realised something. Sammy is MY 40 year old stuck in a geeky 16 year old body, and I care about him so much, he's been my best mate for quite a while now; it's just so natural feeling yet it feels different to me and Aaron. Me and Aaron go way back and are best mates but that's it, yet when I'm around Sammy I feel responsible for him and I also feel that there is something missing between us, whenever we are together I feel that we have much more potential than this but I never realised what that potential was aiming for till now. I knew it as soon as Sammy said that he liked me, it was the potential to become more than best friends, it was the potential of a homosexual relationship. From that very moment until now (me treading water in the harbour with Sammy) I have been complenating the fact whether should I go into a relationship with Sammy or not. I'm a young guy in the 21st century, why should I close the open doors of opportunity and freedom? Especially since this is such a close and personal opportunity for freedom! Why not? I do have feelings for Sammy any way, so what if it doesn't work out? We'll still be mates! Won't we? Well it's a chance I'm going to take and how could I block out someone who has tried so hard for me in the past and put up with having to be the girl in the pas de daux with me. That was fun picking him up around that skinny waist of his and twirling him around and clowning around being ballet partners. Stupid coppers for interrupting that time, we'll never get to do that again, ever.
As I'm returning to reality from my chain of thoughts, I realise that Sammy is swimming towards the ladder at the docks. I start to head towards him. By the time I get to the ladder to get out of the harbour he's already a couple wharfs away and I think he's crying, it's hard to tell coz he's wet. Because he is wet he has taken off his shirt. So I do the same, now I'm running down the wharfs yelling his name at the top of my lungs completely dripping wet, topless and holding my soaking wet pair of sneakers. He doesn't bother looking back, which broke my heart a little.
I was determined to get him! I've decided that my number one priority was to ensure that Sammy, Samuel Lieberman, was to be mine and that I could protect him no matter what! I stopped yelling out his name but I kept running, I had a plan. My plan was to grab my Sammy's waist and whisk him away with my awesome pas de daux skills. And then after pas de daux-ing on the public wharfs of Sydney I will pull him into my famous tantalizing kiss. That'll ensure that he's mine, anyway he's also confessed his feelings towards me - it shouldn't be that hard! I drop my shirt and shoes in a heap and tell myself, "Well here it goes!" I grab Sammy's skinny, lean and slightly muscular waist and twirl him around, I start to do the current pas de daux routine. Sammy realises what I'm doing and figures out how to do the girl's part quickly while dropping his soaked shirt on top of my wet heap of stuff. Then we are pas de daux-ing way quite perfectly in the middle of the wharf. People start to stare but we don't care - we just dance away, Sammy is in quite a state of disbelief and is just going along with me, which is good because I'm the male in this dance and males have to lead while the girls trusts and follows while doing her part. As we are dancing I think of nothing but Sammy and I hardly notice the staring strangers that are looking upon our pas de daux dance, I almost didn't notice a random person videoing us with her phone. As we finish the dance, our ears realise that people are applauding us, so we bow clumsily, shyly and awkwardly. I walked over to the random stranger who videoed us and got her to write down my email so she could send the video to me. I thank her quickly then briskly walked back to Sammy who was picking up his wet shirt. I grab my wet things then started to pull Sammy to the nearest empty alleyway.
I grabbed his wet shirt and dumped it at our feet with my stuff. I then pulled him into a kiss, it was gentle and soft and... *sigh* amazing, he started to take control and push me up the wall of the alleyway. He added fiery passion and wanting into the mixture of gentleness, amazingness and softness. That combination is sooooo... wonderful, luckily Sammy has me basically pinned to the wall otherwise I my knees would give way and I would melt away into happiness! After a while we break apart, my Sammy rests his forehead on my shoulder while I look straight ahead at the other wall of the alleyway. My hands curl around my Sammy's amazingly skinny, smooth and somewhat manly waist. We breathe heavily in unison.
My Sammy breaks the silence by suggesting that we should go and I agree to do so as I was in desperate need of a hot shower. We grab our stuff and chase each other to the boarding house. It's so exhilarating and fun! We enter the boarding house and the gang are all sitting watching TV. I sit down on the only chair available and pull my Sammy down to sit on top of me. I sneak my hands around his warm, bare body and try to concentrate on the TV program but I couldn't. I have Sammy sitting in my lap don't I? Kat gives us a look and we both mouth "what?" towards her, she rolls her eyes and goes back to watching the TV until she is interrupted by me, who is currently placing small kisses on my Sammy's back for attention. Kat is starting to get frustrated that no one else is noticing how me and Sammy are behaving. Now the commercials have come on Sammy gets off my lap and turns towards me and pashes me with full force, then states that he needs a shower and bids farewell to everyone, who is all in a state of shock, then he leaves. I sigh deeply then realise everyone is staring at me with gaping mouths.
"I thought you were straight?" Tara broke the socked silence quite untactfully, which fired up Kat who started to go on about how you just can't say stuff like that and then Ethan stepped in and decided to defend Tara by saying that is was a perfectly legitimate question.
"ENOUGH!" I was yelling. Everyone stopped and stared. I grabbed the TV's remote control and pressed the off button. Kat and Tara sat down and avoided eye contact while Ethan walked up to me and dragged me by the shoulders to the hallway to have a man to man chat.
"Christian, I'm not homophobic, but I am concerned about yourself."
"What are you talking about?" I found myself asking him.
"Well, I mean... Do you know what you are doing by getting yourself into a relationship with Sammy?"
"What?" Ethan seriously confuses me sometimes...
"What I'm saying is that if you feel the need to go out with a guy, you shouldn't pick a sad little loser as your boyfriend! You should at least pick someone with experience and popularity, someone like... me! Per say..."
"Are you hitting on me?"
"Do you want me too?" Ethan starts suggest fully to me while closing the little personal space between us.
"You gotta be kiddin..." I started to decline but I have to stop because Ethan's lips were on mine, we start to kiss. Our tongues fight for dominance, to be alpha male, this is not what I ever experienced with anyone before because we were fighting within a kiss. It was dark, scary and sexy but not how I like it, I like my kisses to be soft, gentle, sweet and innocent; like my Sammy's kisses...
Luckily I manage to push him away from me before he could do anymore damage.
"Well damn Christian! Wow! You are one fine kisser there! Aren't you? Not as good as me, but you have been the best, sexiest and hottest kisser I've ever experienced..."
"What the FUCK are you playing at man? I got an EFFING boyfriend that I would never dream of hurting! Then you come along with this smug attitude and kiss me! Then expect me to dump my Sammy for you!"
"Look I was just trying to help out a fellow bi guy hottie, ok?"
"I am not BI!"
"Then what are you then?" that is the current problem that's been running through my head, what is my label? The thing is that I am attracted to women but I'm attracted to my Sammy, yet I'm not attracted to any other males (That definitely includes Ethan!).
Instead of answering his question I just stare at him and say, "Don't tell anyone about what just happened here and never try anything like that on me again! Ok?"
"K!" Ethan held his hands in the air as if to surrender.
"Good." I nod my head curtly and head up stairs for a nice hot shower if been waiting forever for.
When I return to me and Sammy's room Sammy is already in bed. The chilling words of Ethan ("Then what are you then?") has been haunting me for the last half hour. I feel alone I realise even though Sammy is in bed he isn't asleep. I slide into his bed and kiss him goodnight. Then he turns over the other way so he isn't facing me. My hands curls around my Sammy's amazingly skinny, smooth and somewhat manly waist for the last time for today.
We fall asleep like this.
I finally feel at home like this.