Author's notes:

Phew! How long has it been since I've actually written a Stargate story??? I've wracked my brain to come up with the exact date, but that's been way too many years to even remember.

Shan (my Goa'uld goddess (though she's lost some of her original powers)) has threatened me with bodily harm (if I didn't write a new SG1 fanfic) so many times, that my eyes constantly drooped when she even considered starting.

I have to admit, that I don't really like the new SG1. Yeah, I'm from the old school and seasons 1 to 7 and maybe even 8 were the years were my obsession with the show didn't have a limit. But now... No Jack, no Sam, no shipper.
makes me wanna cry (and where have all the Goa'uld gone? Did they have to kill 'em all off?).

So ergo, this story plays around season 5.

So naturally (and as a silent reminder just how much fun it was to write shipper fics about the greatest would/could be couple in the universe) this ficlet is about Jack and Sam. I still pray for an episode where they get officially together, but well... my system lord Shan hasn't heard me, yet.

Now enough of my rambling! On with the show and enjoy what follows!! Write some reviews and remember the wonderful times we all had with original SG1.

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It hurt.
Slowly, Sam opened her eyes, heavy lids revealing glassy blue.

With a frown, she blinked a few times, trying to clear her blurred vision. She couldn't see anything clearly, only some dark shadows hovering somewhere in her peripheral sight. They didn't move... something Sam was very grateful for. She didn't think she could cope with hallucinations right now.

Lifting her right hand from where it was lying beside her body, Sam pressed her index and middle finger against her pulsating temple, hoping to ease the pain a bit. But unfortunately it seemed to make it even worse, which Sam had thought would be quite impossible.

Closing her eyes again to concentrate on anything else but the darkness around her, she suddenly got aware of a tightning feeling in her throat. She was thirsty as hell and dimly remembered that she had seen a bottle of water some hours ago... maybe the one who had brought her here had had some mercy with her and had left it.

Carefully, she turned onto her side and pulled her hands underneath her torso, trying to push her upper body off the smooth, soft surface she was lying on.

A sharp pain spread out through her chest, forcing her to cough violently. As a result her ribs started to ache under the increasing pressure and Sam pressed her hand against her sternum, waiting for the fit to subside eventually.

Wheezing with every breath she took, Sam pulled her legs over the edge of her 'bed' and stayed for some seconds. Her world was moving way too fast for her liking and Sam feared she'd collapse in a heap as soon as she tried to move in this state.

Her vision started to clear slightly and with much effort, she got up onto her wobbly legs and took some unsure steps into the general direction where she hoped to find the water.

The blood rushed through her vains, making her head ache even worse. Her legs started trembling violently and with her last strength she held onto the next best thing she could reach... .

Which happened to be soft, warm and moved in an regular pattern.
It was infact a body... a male body. To be precise, it was a chest that belonged to a male body.

Sam felt the person move, his muscles flexing underneath her tingling fingers.
A rough hand came up to her forehead, pressing tenderly against her skin. Sam leaned into the palm, sighing as his hand cooled her skin. She swore she could hear it hiss as soon as he had touched her,
with steam going up towards the ceiling.

"Woah, Carter! Could boil up the water for your tea on your skin."
Grimacing at the thought of drinking something that was as equally hot as her forehead, Sam tried to take in an upright position.

Now that her weight got no longer supported by said male chest, she wavered dangerously back and forth,
until two strong hands took her by her upper arms.

"Thns."
She was still breathing heavily and had real problems talking with a dry throat and lips.

"Need some water"
"Yes... Sir."

Closing her eyes (she really would throw up if that 'world-spinning-thing' didn't stop any time soon)
she allowed Colonel O'Neill to lead her back to where she had come from. After some seconds her shinbones bumped slightly against the edge of her sleeping-accommodation.

"Alright, Carter. You lie down again and I take care of that water you need." Jack told her, his hand guiding her slowly down towards the makeshift bed.

Very carefully, eyes still closed (she wasn't ready yet to face the fuzzy world of hers), Sam got down onto her back, sighing in content when Jack pulled a warm blanket across her shivering body.

She was in heaven... just that she wasn't dead, had one hell of a headache and Jack was with her.
So yes, it was a typical Carter heaven!

Sam heard something gurgling in the kitchen and smiled into the darkness at the thought of finally getting something to calm down her scratching throat. She could probably grate wood with it by now.

"So. Here you go!" His warm voice pulled her out of her internal revery and Sam opened her eyes reluctantly.
Taking a sip from the lukewarm water (cold would have been better, but she wouldn't complain about that when it was such a kind gesture), she let it work its magic.

She could actually feel her throat getting smooth again and even her dry lips got their volume back!
"Thanks, Sir."

For a veeery long moment, the two of them sat/laid in silence, eyes meeting occasionally.
Sam knew she had to make a move, before the silence got uncomfortable... .

"So what are you doing here, Colonel? I thought you went home after giving me a ride earlier."
Sam could vaguely remember him driving her in his car to her house after Janet had literally beaten her out of base. And then all she knew was that she had lied down and her eyes had closed.

"Well... I thought that you might need some help after waking up. You didn't exactly know how to move your legs when we arrived here and I didn't want to carry ya upstairs..."(They were downstairs? Why hadn't she noticed earlier?)"... and so I rebuilt your extensible couch into a bed and made you lie down."

She had an extensible couch? Since when?
He must have seen the bewilderment on her face, because his brows furrowed and mirrored her look.

"You 'did' know that you had one, right."
"I've wondered why that thing had cost more than the other one."

At that, Jack had to smirk. A boyish grin spread out on his face, evoking a warm feeling in Sam's stomache, which spread out through her entire body... Nearly matched the temperature of her forehead... .

Watching his face for some seconds, Sam could feel her eyelids close slowely. They actually did that without her consent, which made her wonder whether her voice would still obey her orders.

It didn't.

Waiting patiently for her lids to finally close completely, Jack started humming quietly. He was still standing in front of the couch-bed and really wanted to sit down... maybe beside her, would be just the right idea!

So not caring that the 'bed' made some very funny and maybe a bit disturbing noises, he sat down on the edge, just some inches away from Carter's shoulder. His eyes travelled up to her face. With her eyes closed and the frown having disappeared as soon as her head had hit the cushion, she looked so peaceful to him.

The troubled and worried expression she always seemed to wear when she was on base or off-world was gone, leaving behind the most beautiful face with an almost childlike innocence he had ever seen a woman wear.

Just like an angel.

Sighing he debated with himself, whether he should risk it and pull a small strand of hair out of her face.
It fell across her left eye and seemed to tickle her red nose... which really seemed to bug her big time.

Carefully, Jack moved his hand towards the offending strand and was about to touch it, when Sam opened her mouth slightly. Frowning, O'Neill watched her for a few seconds, waiting for any reaction from her side, his hand still hanging mid-air, when suddenly something wet caught his attention.

Out of the corner of Sam's mouth, a clear, wet liquid dripped onto the couch, forming a small, dark stain on the soft material.
Pulling a face at that, Jack drew his hand back, but just couldn't avert his gaze from the scene.

'Yuck' he thought, still looking like he had just stepped into a giant buddle of slimy mud.

Reaching behind him, he got hold of the Kleenex he had placed on the small coffee table and pulled one out. He was intending to dry off the saliva that continued to trickle out of her mouth, when Sam suddenly exhaled deeply.
Jack's ears caught the raspy sound her lungs made when breathing out and wondered whether she should better take her medics, but just when he had finished the thought his gaze fell onto her mouth again.

Eyes wide, he stared at the small bubbles that had appeared at the corner of her mouth, the bigger ones bursting when they touched the couch underneath Sam's cheek.

'So much for having an angel here', he thought with a bright smile covering the better part of his face.

He was so absorbed into the scene, that he forgot about anything around him.
There was nothing but him, Sam, her drool... .

And the phone.

"Phone..."
Blinking a few times, Jack swivelled around, eyes searching frantically for Sam's mobile, which was currently ringing way too laud in the near-silence of the Major's house.

Getting up from the couch, Sam was still sleeping on undisturbed, Jack started looking for the offending device. He rummaged through the pile of coats on one chair, taking apart the stack of magazines on the table and even considered taking a look inside Sam's bag, when he noticed that the noise was coming from the kitchen.

"God, am I stupid." Jack mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, the tunes of the mobile getting louder the nearer he came to the toaster... .
Which happened to be the place, where he had dropped Carter's stuff along with the medics some time ago when he'd brought her home.

Grabbing the cell phone he pressed the green button, holding it to his ear.
"Yeah, O'Neill speaking?"

For a rather long second, the other end was deadly silent, the only sound being a female voice in the background.
"Hello?" He asked again, a bit unnerved.

"Oh, hey, Colonel! Didn't know you were still with Sam... already feared I'd have to call the police, because I thought you were a criminal."
Brows creased, Jack listened to the ongoing rambling of his favourite Doc.
"... which brings me back to the reason why I actually called."

'Finally', he thought, trapping the mobile between his shoulder and ear, while starting to warm some water in the microwave for some tea.
"Is Sam alright, Colonel? Did she take her medics already?"

"Yes and no... she practically collapsed on her couch as soon as I brought her in here."
"You better wake her up and give her the pills... we don't wanne..." In the background, Jack suddenly heard somebody else yell Janet's name, making the person on the other end sigh exaggeratedly.

"Sorry, Sir... hang on."
Jack nodded, pursing his lips as he searched the cupboard for the tea bags.

He could tell, that Janet had covered the phone with her hand, her muffled, yet quite clear and loud voice echoing through the device.
"Cassie, dammit!! I'm on my way, so stop yelling like you're gonna die!"

Smirking, O'Neill finished the tea and listened as Janet got back on the phone.
"Sorry, Colonel. Who'd have thought that Sam has caught Cassie's cold?! Fortunately it only affects people with Naquada in their blood... but did it have to be Cassie of all people?" Fraiser finished with a loud sigh, nearly whining as another yell from her daughter ripped the air.

"Alright, Doc. Say 'Hi' to Cassie and tell her to stop yelling... her voice won't get any better that way."
"Right, Sir. Tell Sam to take care and if I visit her tomorrow and she's not lying in her bed, I'm gonna strap her down and give her one hell of an IV!"

"Scary. ... Bye, Doc."
"Bye, Colonel."

Pressing the red button on Sam's mobile, Jack put it into down on his trouser pocket. Averting his attention back to the task at hand, he stopped stirring the hot tea, the steam filling the air around him.

"What did she want, Sir."
Looking around the corner of the kitchen, Jack caught a glimpse of his 2IC lying face down on the couch, one hand pressing against the side of her head.

"Told me to give ya your medics, Carter... so be a good girl and take 'em."
"As if I have a say in that matter." She mumbled back, trying to sit up straight. She failed quite spectacularly.

Smirking, Jack walked through the living room, heading straight towards Sam, who was still trying to sit up on the couch. He was carrying a mug with the still steaming hot tea he had made some moments ago with him.

When Sam looked up through bleary eyes, she could make out the bottle of medics in his other hand.
She hoped that it was strong enough to kick the cold to the moon, because ever since she had had Naquada in her blood, Sam needed painkillers and antibiotics at least twice as strong as her teammates... which meant, that the stuff she was normally taking for a plain headache, could knock out an elephant.

Jack watched Sam turn towards him, legs dangling over the edge of the couch, when another couching fit ragged her body.
Immediately she squeezed the bridge of her nose with one hand, while the other one pressed hard against her heaving chest until the fit subsided.

She was still wheezing and a somewhat gurgling, wet sound accompanied every breath that she took.

"You sound terrible, Carter." He said, pulling the mobile out of his pocket and lying it down on the coffee table.
"Why thank you, Sir... I do feel quite terrible by the way."

Sam Carter admitted that she felt 'terrible'... a rare moment that could only mean, that she felt at least ten times worse!

"Why are you still here, Sir... there's actually no need to play mother hen, Colonel."
At hearing that, Jack frowned, waiting for Sam to continue her explanation.
"You should do other things in your spare time than babysit me... can take care of myself, promise." She tried to muster a genuine smile, but thanks to his supernatural powers, Jack looked right through her facade.

Shaking his head and sighing exaggeratedly, Jack sat down beside Sam, handing her one white and pink pill along with the mug of tea. The handle of the mug had gotten really hot and the hand he had been holding the mug with was bright red.

He stared at his hand for some seconds, before looking up again. Detecting movement to his left, he watched Sam from the corner of his eyes as she took both pills at the same time, swallowing them dry... something every good soldier was able to do.

But still, Jack wondered why she hadn't used the tea he had made by practically summoning up all of his strength... .
"It's still a bit hot, Colonel, but I'll drink it as soon as it has cooled off." She answered his unspoken question with a grin... before she started coughing again.

"Good... Oh, you hungry, Carter... could make something to eat. Maybe toast."
Frowning, Sam cocked her head to one side as she regarded O'Neill with a blank look.
"Toast? Ain't you afraid to mess up dinner, when you do such a masterpiece of food?"

'Well, at least she hasn't coughed up her humor...' Jack thought, shaking his head slightly.

He was just about to reply, when he noticed her obviously futile attempt to scratch her back with her right hand. And for some moments, Jack merely watched her. He was mentally hoping she would stop soon, because his back started itching in sympathy.

But unfortunately (for both him and her), she couldn't reach the spot that caused all the agony, her arm being not ductile enough to accomplish the mission. Maybe if she was a snake-woman... now that was an interesting thought, that made Jack's imagination run wild.

"May I be of assistance? I don't think you'll ever reach your shoulders, Carter."
"No cough, no... I'm nearly done."

Not really convinced, Jack turned around, facing her now fully and watched her openly.
Which gave Sam the creeps. She wasn't particularly happy about his amused look, that practically screamed 'Nananananana. I'm right and you need help and soon you'll give in and then I can say...'.

"Told ya so, Carter. Now turn around and stop doing those funky moves... you irritate me."
Glaring openly at him, Sam obeyed silently, turning her back toward him. She pulled her shirt up as far as she dared.

"Can't see anything... Maybe it's farther up."
Sam knew for sure that it was farther up on her back, but showing him the exact location of the place where it itched most meant pulling the shirt nearly over her head and undoing her bra... which she was not going to do!

click

Eyes wide, Sam let go of the rim of her shirt, her hand coming automatically to her chest, where she pressed the now loose bra securely against her front.
"What the fucking... ?"

"Carter, you got a rash there! Does Fraiser know about it."
How could she? That she had some damn rash was totally new to Sam!

But that didn't matter right now. She had to concentrate on more pressing issues!
"Why did you unclip my bra, Colonel!"

'Why did he what?' Jack thought slightly bewildered, not noticing that he was staring at the rash... on her bare back... where the clasp of her black bra had been some ten seconds ago... Uh oh.
"Uhm..."

Staring blankly into space, Sam still clutched her shirt tightly, preventing her bra from slipping out of place with her sweaty hands.
Time to get her brain back into gear... and him out of her close proximity! Sam could practically feel his eyes burning a hole into her skin... which was still itching like hell!

"Maybe you could go into the bathroom and bring me the ointment in the mirror board... it's called... something with f and u. The one Janet gave us against the rash from P1x-338."
Not trusting his voice to stay strong, unwavering and low (his throat was just as dry as his lips), Jack merely nodded, jumped up from the couch and practically ran down the hallway into the bathroom, shutting the door soundly behind him.

As soon as Sam had heard the door close, she exhaled a breath she didn't know she had been holding, her body transforming from a rigid, nervous mess into its former relaxed self. Her head hung low, her eyes closed... her back still itched.

"Dammit... "
Mumbling some curses under her breath, Sam turned around, her legs both on the couch, and laid down on her belly. She buried her head in two cushions and considered screaming into them, when her ears caught her CO's (Yeah, she had to keep that in mind) attempts to walk towards her without making any noise.

"Uh... I got it."
Sam noticed the slight uneasiness in his voice, mentally kicking him... as if her own nervousness that made her stomach churn wasn't enough already!

"Thanks... could you just... ." She made a strange motion with her hand and Jack took it as a subtile way of saying: Leave me the hell alone! You've done already enough for me, so get your ass outta my sight ASAP!!

But Jack wouldn't have been Jack, if his alarm bells went off and he'd actually listen for once what his subconscious was yelling at him. So he did the only thing he could possibly do right now (after having effectively stripped Carter and touched her bare back...).

"Carter, this may be not the best idea I've ever had," Sam closed her eyes again, hoping he woudn't suggest what she feared he would, "... but I don't think you'll be able to reach that rash with your hand. You're ill and shouldn't strain yourself anymore. So I'll apply it on your back. There's nothing I havn't seen already." At that, Sam's cheeks turned a lovely shade of red.

"And I'll leave immediately afterwards." 'To bury myself in a deep, dark hole without anything pornographic to read and will lead a life in celibacy'.

Sighing, Sam nodded her head 'yes', another coughing fit ragging her body.

Secretly Jack had hoped she would tell him to leave her the hell alone and smack him... or just say 'no'. But, well, now he had to do it!
He was a man after all... A man with a mission!

Gulping down the lump in his throat, he carefully moved the rim of Sam's shirt upwards, trying not to touch any of the delicate, soft, white, wonderful... uhm... skin as possible.
He hoped he wasn't drooling by now.

"Oh see! It's spreading!" Anything was good enough to change direction of his train of thought.
"It is?... Maybe I should call Janet cough and tell her about it." Sam mused, her voice muffled as she spoke into the cushion.

Nodding in confirmation, Jack finally exposed all of the red skin to the cool air. He noticed small goose bumps rise on her back, the hairs at the nape of her neck rising as well.
"Alright, Carter... this'll be quite cool."

Jack didn't give Sam a chance to think about his statement, as he took some of the clear jelly-like substance into his open palm and applied it carefully on the angry red rash.

Not having been prepared for the hands on her back, Sam tensed, her fists clenched around a handful of couch. And the fact that the slimy ointment was ice cold and smelled like semi-digested grass didn't really help a bit... not a good darn bit! She just hoped he wouldn't notice the tension in her shoulders.

'Either this was the worst thing somebody had done to her back ever or the best', O'Neill mused silently.
He hoped for latter.

Under his carefully working hands, Jack could feel Sam's shoulders tense and relax rhythmically. Which meant that every time he touched some spot, the muscle underneath the angry red skin would tense until his hand moved away to kneed the jelly-like substance into another part of her back.

But not only her muscles told her that she was really fighting an inner battle.
Synchronized with the tensing of muscles, her breath would come out in a low, by the cushion muffled hiss.

"You alright?" Jack asked concerned, stopping in his ministrations as he eyed the Major with a frown.
"Yeah, yeah..." There was a pause, as if she was thinking about the answer to the mystery of the universe itself.

Then: "It's just the ointment... it's itching like hell."

"Oh."
Well, give the man a cookie for the dumbest reply ever!

After some seconds, Sam turned her face out of the cushion and eyed the man sitting beside her with a deep frown. She felt the warmth of his hands still hovering dangerously near her skin. Her itching skin. Her itching, red skin that was fucking driving her nuts!

"Carter... I think it's reached your... lower back."

That was it! She wouldn't just sit there and wait until that damn rash of DOOOOM had decided to disfigure her beautiful behind (not that she had accidently heard anybody mumble such things while standing outside the men's locker... mind you!).

Breathing heavily, Sam got onto her elbows and practically threw her upper body sideways against the back of the couch. She started rubbing her bright red back against the slightly rough material and hoped she'd get the first layer of skin off that way.
Her eyes closed tightly against the itching, which had decided to go straight to stage two and now felt like hot oil sizzling her skin into charcoal. She could swear she heard a white shrill noise in her ears from the torture!!

"Woah! Carter!!" Jack exclaimed, his eyes going from wide to even wider before he forced them close.
His hands fumbled blindly for the blanket, grabbing the hem and drawing it over the very naked chest of his berserk 2IC.

"Wouldcha just calm down!?" He ordered in an feeble attempt to suppress the image that had burned its silhouette into the retina of his eyes and straight into his corrupted (some people may even call it perverted) mind.

A sharp intake of breath could be heard (he still had his eyes closed just to be on the safe side) and then the couch stopped abruptly shaking from her wild couch-scratching-attack.
"God dammit! I'm gonna rip off my skin!"

Jack winced at that, but at the same time wondered where her evil cough had gone... probably scared away into the desert by Sam's own evil madness.

Still contemplating whether to mention the one good fact or not, Jack needed some loooong moments to feel Carter's hand fisted into his jeans.
"Sir... ," she mumbled pathetically and Jack could have sworn he heard her sniff into the couch. "The phone's ringing."

Phone... He just hoped he wasn't drooling.
"Thanks, Carter."

Reaching out for the mobile lying on the coffee table, Jack flipped it open and held it to his burning red ear.
"Ye."
"Sir! Oh my God! Cassie has got a very nasty rash!"

''Nasty' rash?', Jack thought, suppressing the urge to rub his chin thoughtfully and stare at the daVinci of a rash.
"Did Sam get one too?" Janet asked with the most concerned voice 'ever.
"Yeah, could say that... pretty ugly."

He swore he heard Carter mumble a 'Thnssir' into her blanket, but couldn't be sure.
"I guess that was to be expected. It's probably a side effect of this new antibiotic the two are taking."
Yeah, sounded all very logical to Jack. He wasn't an expert and nowhere near a Doc, but he had had them, too.

Nosebleed from nose sprays, sickness from painkillers and headaches from heavy exposure to Carter-Daniel-rambling.
Side effects were sometimes worse than a horde of Goa'uld 'and' geeks. Together!

"So, what can I do?" He asked with an edge of desperation to his voice. Jack could practically see the grass, uhm, the rash grow before his eyes!
"Just cool it off with a wet cloth or frozen meat. Whatever works is fine." She said and Jack just wanted to respond with an Okey-dokey, when he heard the CMO inhale for her next order.

"And whatever you do, don't take the ointment I gave her last month against the rash you all got from P1x-338. It'll make it worse."

A long pause in utter silence ensued and Jack and Sam locked gazes.

The other end of the line crackled as Janet sighed in defeat.
"You already used it, right?"

Another pause, then: "Well, Doc. Would ya please define 'already used it'?"

"Colonel... I truly feel the need to hit both of you." Janet made a noise that sounded to Jack like his mother when he had done something wrong or had thought he'd get away with it. "Now there's only one thing left to do."

Eager to hear what he could possibly do to get his Major some release, Jack unconsciously moved some inches forward,
ready to hear to solution to aaaaaaaall (nearly) of his current problems.
"Cool the rash, wash away the applied ointment and wait. Have fun!"

With that said, the line went dead.
Jack pressed the bottom and laid the mobile back down. With a blank look, Jack watched Sam out of the corner of his eyes.
If he thought 'he' felt bad now, he was sorely mistaken. The look of utter despair covered the better part of her sweaty features and made Jack feel like having to cuddle her (did he just think 'cuddle'?? Very unmanly!).

"Well, Carter... I hope you have time!"

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FINIS!?

Now go and r&r!!