More Love
I'm so close to you
baby More love, I can hear our
hearts cryin' We're afraid to be
idle More love, I can hear our hearts cryin'
But I'm so far away
There's a silence between us
And
there's so much to say
You're my strength, you're my
weakness
You're my faith, you're my doubt
We gotta meet in the
middle
To work this thing out
More love, I know that's all we need
More love,
to flow in between us
To take us and hold us and lift us above
If
there's ever an answer
It's more love
So we fill up the days
We run on the treadmill
Keep
slavin' away 'til there's no time for talkin'
About trouble in
mind
And the doors are all closed
Between your heart and
mine
More love, I
know that's all we need
More love, to flow in between us
To
take us and hold us and lift us above
If there's ever an
answer
It's more love
"Doug please. Let's just talk". Nikki pleaded with tears running down her face.
"I'm sorry Nikki, but it has to be this way."
"But Doug, you haven't even talked with me."
"I'm sorry Nikki, but I can't be with you anymore, I don't love you, I am sorry, but I would just be hurting all of us if I stayed.
With this Doug took his suitcase and turned around to walk out the door.
"Is there someone else Doug?" Nikki begged.
"Yes Nikki there is someone else." He said turning to face her.
At this he turned around and this time he walked out the door and out of Nikki's life.
She felt the tears come and she let them fall. She can't believe it, this morning when she woke up everything was fine, and then Doug comes and tells her, he is moving out. She had crumpled when she had heard those words, there was another woman. She somehow made it to the lounge room, she didn't think that she could sleep in the bed tonight, not the one that they had shared only hours before. She was just grateful that the kids were all elsewhere tonight, the boys with their mother, and the girls with their grandma. Then it struck her, she would need to tell them. That night Nikki stayed awake for hours going over the conversation with Doug in her head. She was trying to see if there was anything she could have said differently to make him stay. Thinking over the last few months to see if there was any suspicious behavior, then the little things that had seemed odd, but not odd enough separately and to far apart to be considered linked, but now she thought about it. They all clicked together. This had been coming for months. She checked the time, yep it wasn't too late to ring Doug and she needed to.
After ten rings he picked up.
"Nikki I have said everything I needed to."
"Doug, just a question please"
"Nikki."
"Did you find someone else because I wasn't good enough?"
"No Nikki, I left you because I fell out of love with you, you weren't to blame, you are too good for me. I am sorry Nikki, I have to go."
She should have felt the tears on her cheeks, but somewhere in the long night after that phone call and before she succumbed to sleep in the early hours of the morning. Nikki was thinking. She had been in this relationship for years. There had always been the trust there, well so she had thought. At least she was not to blame; she knew that much, what with the last words that Doug has said to her. Although even with the small comfort that she wasn't to blame, she wasn't sure if she could go on.
What would happen to the kids, how would she look after them when she had to work the 12 hours shift. She had seen Diane live her life and how it worked for her, but she didn't think that she could do it, not live without her kids, even if they were nearby. She wasn't even sure if she could live without Doug. He had been the love of her life for so long. 15 years they had been together, that was a long time in anyone's book. Could she survive, she had to, and she was a police officer, she was tough. Yet the question still plagued her until she fell into an exhausted sleep, was she tough enough emotionally to deal with this.