I didn't know why I held on to the small sliver of hope that Hogwarts would be better than home. It didn't take long at all for me to discover that it could be just as miserable. At least at home magic was forbidden by my one and only tormentor. Of course, he found other ways to torture me as our dreary mother doted over me and couldn't stop her disappointed drabble of thoughts against him. It's not easy to be born a legilimens. It's a skill that is meant to be acquired, not inherently and possessed with a powerful dominance over every day matters. It nearly drove me crazy. One day a year ago I couldn't take the incessant negativity any longer and crying, I told my mother that I just wanted it to stop. She couldn't be more happy that her favorite child was born with such a 'gift'. Somehow, I convinced her to find me an occulemancy teacher to help get everyone's thoughts out of my head. As I became one of the most gifted, youngest occulemens, my professor said that my gift was so strong, that it was impossible for me to completely control it. I could block out most thoughts, but never the strongest emotions. The combined misery of my mother and brother lay a hamper over my existence as if a reaper consistently hovered over me.

I looked forward to Hogwarts only for the fact that I could get away from it. Surely no one's emotions were as consistently dreary as my family's. I could live with everything else.

My brother made sure to use my occulemancy to my advantage. While never saying it to my face, he always had the same thing to say to me. No one but mother could ever like me. I was a miserable fool who no one would ever want to be friends with. At Hogwarts, I would be all alone, as I felt at home.

I heard it so often that I believed it. I could live with that though. I would no longer be around mother and him. I didn't mind being alone only if that happened.

Some would think that such a powerful occulemens would feed off the emotions of others. At the sorting ceremony, everyone's excited states of being did manage to make my heart race, but did not exactly make me look forward to my new house. My brother, the defect, was sorted into Gryffindor. This just made the relationship between him and my mother even more disastrous. I would be sorted into Slytherin, like everyone else in my family. There would be no question.

I could not imagine having to beg the sorting hat to be put into the house I belonged in. Somehow, there was big doubt in my placing.

A family of Slytherins that spans generations…said the sorting hat. But does that always make a Slytherin? This child exhibits qualities that do not all fit neatly in one basket. Gryffindor could be the right placement… the hat pondered.

I began to panic at that point. Gryffindor? I couldn't be placed into the same house as my brother. My mother would surely be mortified. And that would mean I couldn't get away from his torture even at school.

Please, not Gryffindor. Anything but that, I thought, letting the hat listen to my deepest desires.

It's clear that Gryffindor is not in your agenda, the sorting hat sighed. Slytherin, then, he said, sounding bored. NEXT.

With a sigh of relief, I joined the Slytherin table where they enthusiastically greeted me. Their emotion was so genuine, that I couldn't help but smile.

"You definitely chose right," a tall, blonde boy said smugly. Later, I would recognize him as Lucius Malfoy.

"Thanks," I replied, shyly.

After the sorting ceremony, things were uneventful for days. I hardly talked to anyone, so all the kids in my year thought I didn't like anyone and left me alone. I thought it was better that way. Deeply, I wanted him to be wrong, that someone could give me a chance and talk to me, but it seemed like Slytherin attracted the scheming and narcissistic type rather than the shy and quiet type like me. I couldn't imagine trying to build a friendship with most Slytherins anyway. I wasn't like them. The sorting hat was probably right to put me into Gryffindor, but I couldn't belong there either.

Mostly, I just tried to keep to my studies. When I couldn't be in the library, I studied in the common room by myself, no one really bothering me. Several days later, I witnessed a small group of 3rd years summoning a Hogwarts house elf.

Snickering, one of them ordered "I want some Bavarian toad's cane on the double."

"But-but the kitchen has no toad's cane…" the elf whimpered.

"That's an order," the boy commanded. "If you can't find some, fear the consequences. I expect you to come back in an hour with the toad's cane."

"But-but..." the house elf cried.

"IN AN HOUR," the boy yelled.

"Time is ticking," another snickered.

The elf ran off to the kitchen, crying.

As soon as he left, the boys burst out laughing.

"What will that stupid house elf do when he comes back with no toad's cane?"

"Have a nervous breakdown, of course!" The leader hooted.

"House elfs are so stupid, it's hilarious to torture them," the third chimed in.

I sighed. I couldn't concentrate on studying here any longer. The thoughts of those boys were beyond nauseating. I felt filthy just being around them. I slammed by books shut and was about to go to the dorms when the leader told one of his subordinates to fetch him a sock.

Oh no, I thought. The poor house elf. Who would be so cruel? Against my better judgment, I decided to stay. There would be no one to defend the defenseless creature.

"What are you gunna do with that sock?" one of the boys asked.

"You'll see," the leader snickered.

Sure enough, the house elf returned, crying, after exactly one hour.

"Ruddy couldn't find the master's cane's toad. Ruddy is sorry! So sorry!" he cried, groveling at the boy's feet.

"Well then, since you failed my request, you will have to accept the punishment," the boy said, in monotone.

The elf looked up in fear as the boy slowly pulled out the sock.

"No, no!" he cried, "anything but that!" he wailed. "Not clothes, please…"

The boy slowly got closer and closer to the elf as his minions snickered harder and harder.

I couldn't take any more of it. "Stop it," I said, coming between the elf and the leader.

"What?" he said, stunned.

"That elf didn't do anything to you." I said quietly. "Please, just leave it alone."

You didn't need to be an occulemens to feel how much the boy wanted to harm me at that moment.

"Don't you have a lot of gall, first year," he said, smiling. "You want me to stop, then make me," he said, coming closer. I eyed his friends as they rounded up on me. Feeling their pleasure about doing vast bodily harm to me almost made me faint. At that point, I was too scared to even run away.

"Hey, Avery," the leader laughed. "Who do you think is going to cry harder now? The house elf or this stupid first year?"

Avery guffawed. "I don't know, Mulciber, it's hard to tell."

I thought I was completely done for, when someone approached the boys.

"What's going on?" the third year boy asked, suspiciously.

"Oh, Severus," Mulciber said. "This first year thinks he can tell us what to do. We need to show him a lesson."

Severus sighed. Noticing the house elf, cowering behind me, he asked "What is this house elf doing here?"

"They were torturing it," I mumbled, as they glared at me.

"I thought Lucius told you to stop doing that," Severus said sternly.

"Not because he feels bad for them," Avery muttered.

"Yes, I imagine it had to do with the 60 lost house points when Professor Slughorn found out. If you don't want that to happen again, I suggest leaving the house elves alone."

"Alright," Mulciber conceded. "Let's go, guys," he commanded, as the rest of his coherts followed him away. All they managed to do was to shove me as they walked past.

I exhaled and sunk to the nearest chair.

"Thank you," I said to my savior.

"That was really stupid, you know," Severus said.

"I suppose…"

"The hat was right in wanting to put you into Gryffindor," he mumbled.

"I suppose I chose this," I wryly smiled.

"You chose to make enemies out of the most ruthless thugs in the whole school," Severus explained.

"I figured as much. They didn't' seem scared of you, though," I said. Somehow, I felt a small bit of fear when Severus interrupted.

"That's because being talented in… certain things helps a little."

I nodded. "I'm Regulus," I said.

"Severus," he said, eying me. "You really don't quite belong here, do you?" Severus said, bluntly.

I looked at the ground. "It's ok, I don't really quite belong anywhere. I'm used to it."

He pondered this in silence for a minute. "Neither do I, I suppose," he said.

I looked in his eyes. He meant it.

He looked out the window for a second before talking to me again. "My friend and I are planning to study right now. Would you like to join us?"

My eyes widened. I was taken aback. Someone wanted my presence? "Well I'm just a first year, I'm not sure if I could really be useful…" I said, shyly.

"It's ok, you can study your own things. I think that my friend will want to meet you."

I smiled. "Alright." Severus waited for me as I gathered my books. I followed him, not knowing where we were going and soon I found him taking us to the astronomy tower. An interesting study location, I thought.

"We use this small room to study. It's quiet and hardly anyone comes up here, " Severus explained, opening the room. It looked cozy inside.

As we were arranging our materials, Severus's friend showed up. Severus immediately began to change. The moment she walked through the door, his heart raced and his emotions raced with them. I couldn't read his psyche at any moment until then, not even when he was standing up to the bullys. It couldn't be any clearer. He was madly in love with this girl, and she really didn't know it. I tried to read her quickly as he introduced me, seeing if she felt the same way. It wasn't clear, though she did feel something for him.

"Regulus," she repeated, giving me her hand. "I'm Lily."

"Nice to meet you." She said.

Her eyes widened as Severus told her the story. "You really stood up like that to Mulciber?" She exclaimed.

":I guess," I said, shyly.

"Wow, you really do belong in Gryffindor!" she laughed. We chatted for a few minutes before we quieted down to study. Soon, however, I found her staring at me.

"I'm sorry, Regulus," you really do look familiar. "What was your surname?" she asked.

"Black," I replied.

"Black?" she cried. The mood of the room changed drastically as Severus leapt out of his chair.

"So you're…" he pointed.

"Sirius' brother," she exclaimed.

I became scared at the strong emotions. "I take it that you don't like my brother?" I meekly asked.

"Your brother is the second most despicable, idiotic, narcissitic giant-squid-loving sorry excuse for a wizard I have ever met. Second only to his alpha male, James," Severus spat.

"Well, if it's any consolation to you, he really hates me because I'm the complete opposite of him," I assured.

"Really?" Lily smiled.

"Sirius makes it out like everyone is in love with him," I said, "I'm surprised to find that isn't the case."

"Hardly," Severus muttered, sitting back down.

"Complete opposite of him, is it?" Lily said. "I think we'll be good friends then," she laughed.

Severus couldn't help but smile too as the mood in the room returned to joviality. Friends? I thought. Surely she had to be mistaken. No one would ever want to be my friend… I couldn't get my hopes up. They'd change their mind soon. They had to.

It would be a while before I acknowledged Lily's genuine words. Even as one of the most powerful legilimens in the world, years of conditioning couldn't let me feel just how authentic the both of them were.