Author's Note: This is just the introduction - the rest of the chapters will be longer.
Introduction: What Exactly Is 'Ebil'?
In order to be truly Ebil, you have to have a very special knack for the art of Ebilness. One cannot be Ebil without doing everything possible to become the very most Ebil power in all of Lore! This is very important. No one can be more Ebil than you! Thwarting good guys is always a good place to start. Legions of undead armies are good. An Ebil chuckle is an absolute must. Most of all, you must make sure to proudly announce your Ebilness wherever you go!
So what is Ebil, you say? HOW DARE YOU ASK? Ahem. It is Ebil, of course! Now we can move on.
In this handbook, you will find everything you need to know to become a truly Ebil person! You will need some imagination yourself, of course. Being Ebil is not for the stupid and lazy. This book is meant only as a guide. Remember to ask your parents for permission before turning the insect life in your backyard undead, and while learning, ALWAYS practice your Ebil magic with Necromantic supervision!
Don't make the mistake of confusing Ebil for 'Evil' - they are two separate things. Of course, sometimes they can share a common goal, which is good if you can convince the forces of Evil to do the hard work while you get the glory. Don't forget, though, you may need to side with good occasionally when Evil is trying to ruin YOUR plans! (Good guys are usually gullible enough to agree, no matter how many Ebil things you have done to them in the past. If you get them to make a bargain with you, they usually feel obligated to keep their end of it for some reason. At least until you don't keep yours first.)
There is a theory out there that Ebil is Evil that is cute. This hasn't been either proven or disproven yet, but it is not a commonly held opinion among most experts on Ebilness. While it is acknowledged as a possibility... if it is true, then why are so many Evil guys cute?
On the other hand, they could be Ebil in disguise... If so, they should buy a copy of this handbook so they'll know they should let everyone know of their Ebil!