Darkness Falls, Chapter One

Author: swallowingtears

Disclaimer: No profit is being made off this fanfiction. No challenge is intended towards CLAMP, the rightful owners of the characters here.

Warnings: Only for language.

Genre: Romance/Angst.

Summary: She knew that voice."I want you," he blurted. "I won't lose to him," he said quietly. "You . . . you're mine." Sakura stays late one evening at school and hears a desperate confession.

Author's notes at the end of the chapter.

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Part One: Sunset

Sakura scribbled as fast as she could, regretting having told Tomoyo and her new suitor Todoh that she would be fine and to go on ahead. How was she supposed to know that those damned math problems would take so long, and that she wouldn't notice the time?

Earlier, it wasn't a problem; the boys outside had been playing football, and the girls had been playing volleyball. Even if she was alone in the classroom, the noise comforted her. It bothered her that she didn't know when the games had ended.

Now the sun had set, and if any building was creepier than Seijyu High at night, she didn't want to know.

She almost laughed at herself, remembering something Li Syaoran, the boy who sat behind her, had once told her during a grade school camping trip: Ghosts can't hurt you. So don't be scared.

The thought of him reassured her for a moment. Sakura couldn't really remember when she had gone from loving Yukito Tsukishiro to loving Syaoran Li. There wasn't an "Aha!" moment she could point to; instead she noticed that she looked forward to saying "Good morning!" to him every day. He was the reason she had learned to come to school early; she enjoyed the quiet minutes she spent in his company doing pre-class chores.

Sakura liked watching Syaoran move—say, to erase the blackboard, or to water the classroom plants—she delighted in his economy of movement, the way he rarely did unnecessary things. And always, when their eyes met, he seemed to pause, then a tiny, gentle smile would be her reward. She liked to think that he smiled that way only for her—which he did, not that she knew.

She looked outside the window, smiling at the thought of him. Even though he rarely spoke, Syaoran comforted her with his presence; he was steady, patient, reliable, and—though he was kind of gruff—very kind. She could think of him all day—had done so, in fact, on really boring class days: how his eyes turned golden in the sunlight, how she longed to run her hands through his thick, unruly, chocolate-colored locks, he looked at her in the eye when he did speak, how he would never say anything but then suddenly she would find that someone had helped solve a problem she was facing and it would be him.

Sneaking glances at Syaoran made her happy; she liked tracing the lines of his face with her eyes, or the way his forearm rested on his desk, or how he set his feet on the floor. Yes, thinking of him made her happy.

But then as usual, her heart sank. Because to Syaoran, she was just a friend, really, and not even a particularly close one. And that was all she would ever be.

And if she cared to admit it, that was the reason why she had considered allowing Todoh to court her: because she couldn't have Syaoran. In all the years they had known each other, their conversations had rarely turned to the personal; she often chattered away at him, and he would smile his little half-smile as he listened to her patiently.

Glancing at his empty seat, she found herself wishing he was there. Oddly the sight of his chair was comforting but still . . . he wasn't there. Too bad; his quiet presence usually calmed her down when she was scared.

You don't like being alone? he'd once asked her as they finished painting props for a school play late one night in school.

She nodded, and he'd walked her home. Even if he'd said nothing except "Good night, see you tomorrow," at her gate, it was one of her most treasured memories. She'd skipped for joy, unable to control herself, and was surprised when he'd let out a little chuckle. Then he had smiled, really smiled, for her.

No one else had ever seen that big smile of his, and it had felt like bathing in sunshine.

Stop thinking of Li-kun and finish your math problems! she scolded herself. She set to it with a vengeance, quickly computing the value of x if y=23, filling her scratch paper with frenzied calculations. The room was getting dark, and she kept meaning to stand up and turn on the rest of the room lights, but it was always just one more line . . . just one more number . . .

Suddenly she finished the last calculation; checking over her work quickly, she realized she was actually done.

"Yatta!" she cheered, pumping her fist. Now she could go home! Maybe her dad had made breaded shrimp; how she loved breaded shrimp!

Syaoran usually brought breaded shrimp on the last Friday of the month, Sakura suddenly recalled. How her thoughts kept coming back to him! For a moment Sakura was tempted to cry; in a perfect world, Syaoran would be waiting for her, perhaps even tutoring her as she finished her math penalty sheet.

Best of all, he would be talking to her—something he rarely did.

The last time they had had what could be considered a conversation, during the senior class trip last summer, he'd been cryptic.

"Look, Li-kun! A shooting star!" Sakura pointed up excitedly, almost smacking Syaoran in the face with the barbecue stick she was roasting a marshmallow on.

Syaoran cast his eyes upwards obediently, and caught the tail end of a shooting star streaking across the skies of Okinawa, where their class had gone for their summer camping trip.

"I have to make a wish!" Sakura said as she stood up and closed her eyes. "Oooh, maybe I should wish for instant math skills, the kind that make me do great in math!"

He didn't reply, and Sakura opened her eyes to find him staring at her intensely.

"Is . . . is there a problem?" she asked.

"You shouldn't waste a wish," Syaoran said quietly.

"Well, what would you wish for?" Sakura asked curiously.

He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them again. He reached out, as if to touch her cheek, then his hand faltered halfway, dropping back to his side. Without looking at her, he whispered, "I would wish . . . for you to have a happy life." Then Syaoran walked away, leaving a confused Sakura wondering why he'd said it.

But it was just like Syaoran to be so strangely sweet yet confusing, Sakura thought. Oh if only she had the bravery to tell him what she felt!

Just then she heard someone walk into the classroom, and then . . .

Click.

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The lights in the classroom went off, and Sakura stood up in alarm.

"Who's there?"

Ghosts. Darkness. Alone. The words roiled in Sakura's mind, and she began to shake; she couldn't move for fear of something suddenly coming out of the darkness at her.

But what scared her more was that she couldn't see anything, but she could hear footsteps in the room. She backed away as quietly as she could, wishing she had a weapon like maybe pepper spray, or even her cheerleading baton. But she had nothing.

Sakura backed into a chair, which screeched as she lost her balance, and she yelped as she scrabbled to hold on to something, but before she could fall, someone pushed her back and pinned her to the wall. It was a he: she could smell him, and he smelled like clean linen and a little bit of sweat, like he'd changed after working out. He was tall, and his body was hard and unyielding.

Was she going to be molested . . . or raped?

Never! Sakura struggled, fighting hard, clawing and pushing; the boy however was much stronger. She struggled, trying to reach for his face so she could poke his eyes or nose, but with dismay she realized that in her position, all she could reach was his chin and she could not break free of his hold. He simply pressed her harder against the wall; it didn't hurt but she could feel her heart pounding.

Not being able to see her attacker made it worse, and she kicked out, but in the dark she missed and struck the boy's thigh instead of the sensitive region she was aiming for.

"Don't do that," he said, very quietly, as he pushed her knee away. "Please."

"Why are you doing this? Let me go! Help!" Sakura screamed. A hand came down on her mouth, muffling her.

"Shh." The voice was rough, as if it was rarely used, but oddly nonthreatening. "I'll let go if you don't scream. Nod if you agree."

That voice.

Low and guttural, Sakura realized whoever it was, was disguising his voice. He's someone I know then, she realized. She nodded slowly but with exaggerated motions to make sure he understood, taking a chance that he was not lying.

"Please don't hurt me," she said softly when his hand was lifted. Yamazaki's stories of girls being molested or raped ran through her head, and she could feel tears beginning to form in her eyes.

The boy holding her started. "What? Of-of course not!" He forgot to disguise his voice, yelping indignantly. "I would never . . . I would never hurt you!"

I know that voice! Sakura thought. But who?

xXxSxSxXx

This girl . . . Why can't I just tell her, goddamn it?

Syaoran had spent the better part of half an hour watching Sakura from the door as darkness fell. He had backtracked to school at the last minute—blowing off his friends Eriol Hiiragizawa and Takashi Yamazaki, who were in line to try out the new shooting game at the Tomoeda arcade—when he'd realized that Sakura was staying late at school, alone, because she'd scored a zero on their advanced algebra pop quiz and had to do penalty sheets as a result.

His two friends had seen right through him; they knew about his feelings for Sakura, and had merely laughed it off.

"Why don't you just tell her?" Eriol said as he adjusted his glasses.

Syaoran shook his head and looked away. "If . . . if she likes that guy, then . . . I would just be intruding."

"They say, 'Good things come to those who wait,' but Li-kun, you've been waiting for years," Takashi said pointedly.

Glaring at his mischievous friend, Syaoran frowned and turned around, using all of his self-control to keep from bolting in the direction of the school.

The news had reached him that morning, as he pretended not to listen to Sakura talking to her best friend Tomoyo, about how she had been called out by Todoh Akira of section B the other day. His heart had burned with each word.

"So what did he say, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked.

"He . . . He said he l-liked me," Sakura said, blushing.

Syaoran gritted his teeth; Todoh Akira was the captain of the basketball team, and was considered one of the most handsome boys in school. He'd always found Todoh a pleasant person, but right now Syaoran wanted to march up to him and pop him one in the nose. He quietly drew in his breath and pretended to be deep into their World History textbook.

"Well. I expected that. But are you going to accept?"

Sakura glanced at him; seeing that Syaoran seemed occupied and unlikely to be listening, she said softly, "I . . . maybe? He's a nice guy, after all. And I . . . well, I've never had a boyfriend, and I wonder what it's like."

To his surprise, Tomoyo had given him a long glance.

"You shouldn't settle for someone just because you're curious," she said.

"Well, that's why I haven't said 'yes' yet."

Tomoyo then added, "Maybe you should wait for someone else to speak up, ne?" Then she stood up, telling Sakura she was going to the bathroom, but as she passed Syaoran, she gave him one of her enigmatic smiles.

He'd thought on her words all day. Todoh had appeared during lunch and shyly handed Sakura some of her favorite Meiji chocolate; blushing, she accepted it, and Todoh had happily run out into the corridor, bumping into Syaoran.

"Oh . . . Li, sorry about that," he'd apologized. Then, his dark eyes sparkling, Todoh had given Syaoran a silly grin, patted his shoulder, and said, "Gosh, I'm so happy!" before walking away.

Syaoran was rooted to the spot, unable to enter the classroom. Sakura was showing the chocolates to her gaggle of friends, and they were squealing and encouraging her to "Say yes, Sakura, say yes to him!"

No, don't. Don't say yes to him before I've had my chance, Syaoran thought as he clenched his fists and faced the window. But that was a selfish thought, and he knew it. If he makes her happy . . . then what right do I have to intrude on her happiness?

"Li-kun," someone said.

Syaoran nearly jumped. "D-Daidouji," he stammered. "What is it?"

Tomoyo looked at him for a long time, and Syaoran fidgeted under her intense scrutiny. Finally she spoke.

"Sometimes . . . sometimes what we think is selfish can be the heart's deepest wish," she said quietly. She did not smile, but added, "Think on it, Li-kun. Please."

And he had.

As usual he spent most of the day with one eye on the back of Sakura's head and the other on the teacher. He was glad he was seated behind her; that way he could watch her to his heart's content. Today she seemed agitated; she tapped her pencil rapidly, rearranged her bag, and glanced at Tomoyo a lot.

Could she be thinking of saying yes to Todoh? Syaoran wondered. If so then he didn't have much time in which to act, much less think.

He almost failed all his pop quizzes that day because he was deep in thought. Perhaps he too should confess his feelings to Sakura?

"What do you like about her?" a curious Takashi Yamazaki asked in their first year of high school.

He'd thought about that for a while, then, "She's so real," was what he said.

"Real?" Yamazaki munched on some chips. "Like no plastic parts or surgery?"

Syaoran almost smiled. "No. When she laughs, it's because she really finds it funny. When she's hurt, she cries. I . . . I like being around her because I don't have to pretend for her sake."

"And that she's rather cute has no bearing on you having liked her for years?" Eriol smoothly inserted into the conversation, grinning.

Syaoran blushed; he only did so whenever she was mentioned and yes, her big green eyes, cheerful smile, healthily flushed cheeks, and general prettiness attracted him too.

"It's just a small part," he said. And it was true; Sakura had gorgeous friends, like the breathtakingly beautiful Tomoyo Daidouji, the refined beauty Rika Sasaki, feisty but sexy Chiharu Mihara, and the bookish but lovely Naoko Yanagisawa. But you can't tell the heart who to love, and he'd settled on her.

"Really, it's all of who she is, the way she makes you feel happy, that life is worth living . . ." he said.

Yamazaki groaned. "There are better ways to say it, Li-kun. How about, 'she completes me'? Or 'my world starts and ends with her'?

"Those are clichés, and she's not a cliché," Syaoran retorted.

"Point conceded," Yamazaki laughed.

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When the bell rang at three o'clock, he was about to tap Sakura on the shoulder, but hesitated when Todoh appeared in the doorway. Syaoran presumed the basketball star was about to get an answer from Sakura, and dejectedly let Eriol and Yamazaki drag him to the arcade.

Todoh, though, arrived at the arcade with his friends a little after Syaoran and his friends had; from judicious eavesdropping, Syaoran learned that Todoh had left Sakura in school as when a friend asked, he said, "She's finishing stuff at school. Told me to go ahead."

He didn't wait for her? Syaoran thought.

And that was when he'd seized his guts and run all the way back to school. He'd paused to catch his breath outside the classroom, and that was when he'd hesitated.

Sakura was looking out the window, deep in thought, and she was smiling, as though remembering something pleasant.

Darkness began to creep into Syaoran's heart, filling him with despair. She's thinking of Todoh, he thought, and he released the door handle. Why am I even here?

I have to tell her! Syaoran screamed inside his mind. But how?

That was when he'd hit on the idea of killing the lights in the hopes of telling her in the dark, from the doorway; the darkness would let him be a little braver, he thought.

But what would it achieve?

At the very least, he told himself, I'll get it out of my system.

His mind made up, Syaoran reached for the light switch before he could change his mind.

Continued in Part Two: Halfway Between Twilight and Darkness

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Author's notes: This (and boreum dal's "Sleep") is the result of a writing challenge. I was stuck with a scene in "The Accidental Playboy" chapter 12; this was meant to be part of it but evolved into an entirely different story altogether. I decided to break it into three parts; it's complete and will be posted rapidly (utterly shameless hint: guess what makes me want to post immediately?). I would love to know how you respond to this, so please do let me know? Thanks!

Next chapter up on or before Syaoran's birthday!

Oh and this is probably my only T fic!