Then and After
By: Alesca Munroe
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts 2, any of the Final Fantasies or any characters affiliated with it. Be glad I don't.
Notes: I wanted to try something different.
When they were first sent to Radiant Garden, Squall and Seifer were still a year apart in ages. Seifer was still taller and Squall was still the only person who could get under his skin without trying, and they both were still scarred, but this world was supposed to be better than the last one and maybe they could grow up happy. "Whatever the hell it was that sent us here better be right," when Seifer heard the last part. He looked down at his body, now at least ten years younger-maybe twelve, but who's counting anyway?- , save for the scar that seemed to follow him into this life. "I mean, it better be worth listening to my voice change all over again."
Now, Seifer is back in the broken world that used to be Radiant Garden and is staring at a Squall who has aged faster than him, a Squall who is the same age he was when he defeated Ultimecia. Squall is eighteen, and Seifer is fourteen.
"Well," Seifer manages in a slightly strangled tone, "you're finally taller than me."
0o0o0o0
When they were first sent to Radiant Garden, Irvine, Zell, and Selphie, and Fuujin and Raijin were with them. Selphie disappeared almost immediately on some mission for the somebody who sent them here. Almost in her place appeared a blonde boy, a pilot, a little flower girl, and a toddler who thought she was a ninja, all with the look of someone who had fought too hard and too long for the happiness of others to be happy themselves. There were also four kids who always wore blue suits, but Seifer ignored them in favour of picking on Squall.
"It didn't work out so great this time either, huh," Seifer says, starting the conversation again when he and Squall reach the Bailey so they can talk in private. He stares out at the castle. "I don't guess you ever saw any of the others again."
Squall shakes his head. "Irvine and I got separated almost right after the Heartless attacked," he explains. "I don't think he made it, or he'd be here now."
"I…saw Zell, right before he..." Seifer waves a hand, unable to say the word –died, Squall, chicken-wuss is freakin' DEAD- and pretty sure this isn't something Squall wants to hear, but has to hear. "He-dammit, Squall, Zell died saving me." The blonde swipes a hand across his eyes; he's not crying, he's Seifer Almasy, dammit, and there's no way he'd be crying over anybody, least of all Zell. "I tripped, and he goes in and takes on the Heartless who was about to do me in, and tells me to run."
"Did you?" Squall asks quietly. They're not looking at each other as they talk. Squall is looking at his broken town and Seifer is still staring at the castle. They're both seeing Zell's death in their minds' eyes.
"No," is Seifer's swift response. "I fought until Fuujin and Raijin came by with a gummi ship and Zell threw me on, saying he was going back for you. And then…"
He doesn't need to say what happened next.
0o0o0o0
When they were first sent to Radiant Garden, Seifer was actually idealistic enough to think they could all grow up happy together. It lasted for a couple of years. Seifer fished with Raijin and the blue-suited redhead, learned how to make a garden grow with Fuujin and the brunette who almost always wore pink, and fought the urge-along with the strange blonde boy- to salute and/or run in fear of the tall silver-haired man. Laguna, who didn't seem to remember their past (much less his own name sometimes), taught all the former SeeDs to cook the right way, which included cleaning up even if the table was still above their heads.
They're walking now, and Seifer sees all these places where he grew up again. It's hard to look at Laguna's old place without wondering if the Heartless will come swarming out of and into it like they did That Night, and it makes him feel only slightly better when he sees that Aerith still plants those uselessly pretty flowers. "I'm angry," Seifer announces without warning and no real anger behind the words. Instead, he looks almost hysterical. "I've waited so effin' long to come back here, anywhere where it's not freaking sunset all the time, where the best fight available isn't against a boy with a foam bat, where I can just be back with everybody. I waited, Squall, and for what!"
He's yelling now, but there's no one to hear it except for Squall. Seifer whirled around to look at his old rival, and he's finally feeling all the rage he'd pent up for seven years. "You've spent nine years fighting to survive, getting stronger, getting better. I've spent seven years stagnating. I was head of the Disciplinary Committee in a town where no one did anything wrong ever. I would've rather spent that time on a rock with only Quistis for company. Hell, I would've welcomed even the Heartless."
0o0o0o0
When they were first sent to Radiant Garden, Seifer figured things could be a hell of a lot worse than growing up with Squall and remembering it this time around. Now he knows that anything that can get worse inevitably does.
Seifer sits down with a thud on the ground and waves away Fuujin, who came to make sure everything was all right, burying his face in his hands. Squall sits next to him after a moment's hesitation. "You grew up in peace," he offers. "That's what we wanted, right? To try and grow up without needing to fight to survive."
"It didn't mean anything without you guys," Seifer grumbles, but he knows Squall is right. "Sure, I had Fuujin and Raijin. But they won't fight me. They won't challenge me personally to get better. Still…I would've gone crazy without them."
Squall's knees are drawn up to his chest, with his arms crossed on top and his chin on top of his arms. "I couldn't have done it without Aerith, Yuffie, and Cid. But…I could have done so much better if you were with me," he admits. It can't hurt their reputations or prides or egos now, there are worlds and years between them now.
Seifer grins suddenly, suddenly almost the fallen Knight Squall remembers. "Yeah, we would've given those Heartless hell," he agreed and looked at Squall with a familiar intensity. "Just one thing, Squall- don't treat me like a damned kid. Ever."
And as Squall mutters, "Whatever," and doesn't tell him to call him Leon – he doesn't need to be Leon anymore, he can be Squall now that part of his past is back- Seifer realizes that it'll get better. It won't be all right, it won't be fine, but it's a far cry from Twilight Town and Balamb Garden and somehow that's so much better.