Don't Drink and Dial, Dudes.
A/N:This short thing is for xaquaangelx's "accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came AU/prompt." Read, Review, and enjoy, if it seems different than my usual style, this one started life as a tumblr post. And yeah, I've actually met someone who acts like Yang does when she comes around alcohol, and I figured it'd be more fun to write her like this than like an angry drunk or an affectionate drunk.
-'Cause Baby! It's time to-'-
Weiss rolled over and groaned, putting her scroll to her ear. "What?"
"Blaaaaake... I need a favor." Yang's voice said.
Weiss' eyes wandered over to her faunus teammate, nestled comfortably in her leader's arms on the other side of the room.
"Yang-"
"I knowIknow I still owe ya from the thing but this thing's a really important thing. I needja to get the Bumblebee and get me. The keys're under my pillow. The party was kinda a bust, but these guys just kept buyin me drinks an shit, and the cops came to bust it up and I took off runnin. I need a riiiiide. I''m, uh.. I'm in the docks, I think? By th' lighthouse. Thaaank youuu." There was a click.
Weiss stared at her scroll for a moment, then sighed, repeatedly bonking her scroll against her head as she went through the multitude of reasons why she could absolutely not go pick Yang up. "I can't drive a motorcycle, and she's expecting Blake, and she's drunk, and if father found out I was out after curfew he'd kill me and-"
Across the room, Ruby let out a shiver and Blake's arms tightened around her, pulling the younger girl close.
Weiss sighed. "Damn it. I should really wake you up and send you after her, you know. She's your partner.
Blake declined to respond.
"And she's your sister."
Ruby nuzzled into Blake's neck.
"Well, shit."
/
After utilizing a careful series of glyphs to acquire Yang's keys without disturbing the happy couple, Weiss made her way to the student garage.
There, she engaged in a tense stare-down with the 'Bumblebee'.
Some combination of the vague worry she felt for Yang, the late (Early, she thought with a glance at her scroll and a grimace.) hour, and the stress of knowing she would have to drive the machine in front of her addled her brain a bit, and she found herself arranging her face into a harsh scowl.
"Okay, Yang can do this, so it can't be too hard." She slipped the key in, and climbed on. She nearly jumped back off as the engine roared to life.
She steeled herself and reached out to grasp at the handlebars.
"Alright, Weiss, think back... how does Yang usually do this?"
/
Yang leaned back on the bike, smiling at her. "C'mon, come for a ride. It'll be fun!"
Weiss scowled. "I think I'd like to continue living, thank you."
"Ah, killjoy. I'll even let you wear the helmet! You'll be super safe, I'm a great driver."
Yang bent over the bike, reaching for the helmet and Weiss finds her recollection of the blonde's next few words disturbingly lacking.
She stands up and turns back to the heiress, tossing her the helmet. "You know, you are a true inspiration to the whole team. We consider you to be the most competent one among us, Weiss."
She reached down and began to pull her shirt up.
"You are a true intellectual, and-
/
Weiss shook her head. "Wait, what? I must be more tired than I thought."
She eyed the gas pedal warily and pressed gently on it, causing the engine to purr.
"Well, they say the hardest part is balance, so I should be able to do this if that oaf can."
After a few moments she identified the brake and released it, then again rested her foot on the pedal, causing her to shoot forward with a small yelp.
/
Weiss came to a stop, wobbling precariously for a moment. "Yang!"
The blonde raised a half empty bottle in her direction from her spot on a bench. "Hey! Whassup?"
Weiss carefully put the kickstand down and jogged over to Yang, stopping a few feet from her teammate. "Ugh, I can smell you from here! How much did you drink? And why're you sitting like that?"
"Ah, Blakey, you look kinda weird." Yang said, a goofy smile on her face.
"Well, you are upside down." Weiss said evenly.
"Fair." She flipped into a standing position and nearly fell over, clutching at Weiss for support. "Oh, dude, I'm tired. What time is it?"
"You have a scroll." Weiss said, allowing the larger girl to lean on her.
"Killed the battery."
"Fine, give me a minute. Can you stand for yourself?" Yang snapped off a mock salute and wobbled back and forth on her heels. "It's almost five."
"Eesh, no need to growl, kitten."
"I'm not growling!" Yang stumbled and reached for a spot several inches above Weiss' shoulder, flailed for a moment, and grabbed onto the genuine article.
"Are you shorter than usual or- Oh shit, you're not Blake!" She stepped back and brought her hands up into a clumsy stance, completely devoid of her usual strength and grace. "Y'want some, asshole?!"
Weiss put her hands on her hips. "Yang, you idiot, did you just now open your eyes? Of course I'm not Blake!"
Yang slumped out of the 'combat' stance, a smile stretching across her face. "Weiss! Whassup?"
Weiss took several deep breaths. "If you're hungover tomorrow, remind me to invite Nora over for breakfast."
"For.. fer. Fer? Fo' sho'." Yang said, then broke off into a giggle. "I'll make some pancakes. I make some hella good pancakes."
"Wait, you drove the Bumblebee here?" Yang asked. "Didn't know you could drive, you know? Figured you had limos and shit."
Weiss sighed. "Of course I can drive, what kind of child do you take me for?"
Yang smiled at her, and stuck her tongue out. "Th' kind that pouts when I make fun of her."
Weiss looked up at Yang for a moment, then took a quick step to the left.
Yang immediately tumbled over and made rude hand gestures from her new position.
"Asshole." She started pouting.
Weiss smiled down at the blonde. "If you can't walk for yourself, don't irritate the person helping you."
"You. Are an asshole. You... asshole." Yang stuck her tongue out, but accepted the hand Weiss offered to help her to her feet.
"Yang, do you think you'll be able to ride, or shall I call a cab?"
Yang laughed. "I can balance, Ice Queen. Trust me, I was riding that thing when you were still in diapers."
"I'm older than you." Weiss snapped.
"Pft, three months. Big whoop."
"I will leave you here."
/
After a few mishaps, they managed to get Yang to balance on the bike long enough for Weiss to get on.
"Alright, now, how did I..." Weiss started the bike and kicked the engine on without releasing the brake, causing a high whine to emanate from the bike.
Yang gave her a light swat on the head. "Weiss! It might be your first time, but you gotta be gentle with the Bumblebee. She's a classy lady." She patted the side of the bike affectionately.
Weiss spoke through clenched teeth. "I rode your bike over here, idiot."
Yang let out a gasp. "The Bumblebee is not a 'bike'! She's a well-tuned machine, a miracle of modern science, and you will treat her with the respect she deserves."
Weiss muttered darkly.
"Just show me how to get the bi- the 'Bumblebee' started again."
/
They were nearly halfway there when Yang started complaining.
"Why're you going so slow? I'm not even sure it's possible for the Bumblebee to go this slow!"
"I'm obeying the speed limit." Weiss growled.
"Why? There's no cops around. Let's just speed it up a bit..."
Weiss felt the blonde shift behind her, pressing her body closer to hers, and was ergo too distracted by a new and exciting sensation on her upper back and the feeling of Yang's arms squeezing her to notice the larger girl covertly placing her foot on top of the pedal and easing it down a bit harder.
She noticed when the bike's speedometer hit seventy, however, and she hissed at Yang until the offending foot was removed.
Yang, Weiss noticed with a small smirk, had declined to return the rest of her body to it's earlier position.
/
Weiss pushed open the door and helped Yang in, hissing at her to stay quiet.
"Aww, lookit em!" Yang crowed quietly, pointing at their partners.
"Yes, yes, it's adorable." Weiss said, looking up at Yang's bed and trying to determine a good glyph trajectory to send the blonde onto her bed without waking the two.
Yang for her part, stayed quiet and stared at her sister, bemoaning her lack of a camera.
"Dammit." Weiss rubbed the side of her head. "I can't think right now... Yang-"
"Sh, don't wake them!" Yang hissed. "Take a few pictures or something!"
Weiss glared for a moment, then handed the blonde her scroll.
She let out a mute giggle and started snapping pictures happily.
"Maybe if you held on to a pillow and I ricocheted you off the ceiling..." Weiss muttered.
"Weiss?" Yang asked, looking up at her bed. "I think we have a problem. I dunno if I can get up there..."
Weiss sighed. "I'd noticed. Maybe-"
"You mind if I bunk with you?"
Weiss' eyes widened. "Wh- what?!"
"Oh, c'mon, please?"
Weiss gaped.
"I mean, unless you wanna take my bed. Or, y'know, Ruby's bed." They eyed the hanging deathtrap in unison.
"I'm not sure I trust your sister to make anything that can't kill someone."
Yang nodded sagely.
"And I'm not sure I can get the- er, I mean, I don't want to plan the glyph's needed to get up to your bed..."
Yang raised an eyebrow. "So?"
Weiss eyed the larger girl. "I guess it'd be alright..."
"Great!" Yang pulled her into a one handed hug and flopped the two backwards onto Weiss' bed.
Weiss muttered a few objections, but the two eventually settled into a comfortable position and drifted off.