I sighed and dug the key back into the flower pot where it belonged. Stupid place to hide a key, I get it, but it's better than under than the doormat.
"How was school?" Dad asked, in his completely oblivious dad tone. How can you be a cop, and be searching for the same thing for a year and have the answer living upstairs. Don't get me wrong I love the guy, but he's just not getting it.
"It was fine." I give him my usual response and head up to my room where I know I can get some peace. I can finally be away from the moon and the wolves and…Lydia...even though I can never really escape from her. She's on my mind every hour of the day every day. Ever since she's gone missing I haven't left the police alone, and Scott still hasn't heard the end of it. All I've been saying to him is "Track her down, Scott! Find her!" I couldn't go home until she was safe. But it's been days and the other officers told me they were going to arrest me if I didn't go home and stay there for a few nights. They would call when they had a lead. So I have Scott out scouring the woods right now…
And not only that! I never let myself rest knowing she's been with Jackson, that she's most likely been hurt by him. It wasn't right, she deserved better, she deserved someone who was going to treat her like the beautiful woman she was and not just a showpiece. She was smart and amazing and deserved so much more…
God, it aggravates me! Sometimes I just wanna rip Jackson's balls off and sew them to his mouth. That's where they are most of the time anyway. What right did he have deflowering my soul mate? She may not know it yet but she will, someday.
"Stiles," my dad says through the door, probably afraid he's going to catch me with my dick in my hand. Ever since I was fourteen, and I had an experience traumatic for every adolescent boy, he's knocked on my door.
"Yeah," I answered, opening the door and hanging my jacket on the back of my chair while booting up my computer.
"Spaghetti's on the stove, I gotta head out and if I'm not back by midnight then assume I'm arresting someone," he grins at me and that's when I notice he has his work coat on.
"Dad Lydia has been missing for longer than I can handle, please, don't come back until you find her. You know what, can I come?" I ask, hoping just maybe he would let me.
"No, stay home, you haven't spent a night in your own room in days," he holds his hands out while heading back out my door. "You need to get some sleep. I promise you, Lydia will be okay," he smiles reassuringly before closing the door. Surprisingly it wasn't so reassuring for me.
I leaned back against the chair and logged onto my account, immediately opening up Google.
'How to not jack off' I typed. I told myself that I would not fantasize about Lydia until she was safe. It would make me no different than Jackson to think of her that way. Well…I make it a nightly routine to purge myself and my body of those thoughts by imagining her presence with me, in my bed, my arms. I would think of her that way almost every night, but since the winter formal I haven't been able to, and now that I'm home I could. But I can't, it would hurt me. I can't think like this when she's in danger. I wanted to get out there so badly and just find her. I had to find her. But if I left those cops won't hesitate to arrest me. They weren't joking about that, which I've learned from experience…
It felt so weird to be back in my own home, in my own chair. I saw my bed over there, calling to me, begging me to fall into a blissful sleep to wake up and be told they had found her. I felt my eyelids becoming heavy, my vision hazy.
Tips to not jack off…
Do not jack off! Archive…
5 fun ways to jack off…
I clicked the 5 fun ways, just because I was curious. I'd go back to the advice thing in a minute, but for not the curiosity go the best of me.
Yup, there they are. Five fun ways. I read all of them and scrolled back up to the top of the page, realizing how ridiculous this was. The first one though…caught my attention. It said it would be better, and it probably would. With my experience I can see how it would work, but I don't want to get into it now. I should probably try it later…someday…hopefully soon. After Lydia's safe.
I went back and tried to find the page that would give tips not to. All of the comments to the question meant one thing.
Cut off your balls…
Seriously, the internet has let me down once again. I log off and drop my pants and my shirt, climbing into bed and burying my face in my pillows. I would normally say that I was too tired to sleep, but that's when Lydia wants me the most in my dreams…
But when I imagine her, running through the woods naked, lost and scared, the feeling I get is the complete opposite of an erection. It makes me want to cry. And soon, I fall asleep.